What I Would Have Written About Montreal Pre-PlayoffsShareThis
This is the article I WOULD have written about the Canadiens before playoffs had I thought they were worth the digital ink and a morning of my life:
The following are the reasons the Canadiens aren’t good enough to do jack-s**t in playoffs. I mean, no way they could ever be dangerous with that team of theirs, right?
1) The Goalie Carosel
The Canadiens have been unable to pin down their starting goalie all year, rotating between Carey Price and Jaroslav Halak. They’ve repeatedly tried to let either guy win the job, but they both refuse to play good enough to permanently take it. Interesting to see which one gets traded in the off-season.
2) Their Forwards Are Too Small to Handle The Abuse of Physical Playoff Hockey
This team struggled enough in the regular season, so when the physical, grinding style of playoff hockey takes over, their crew of tiny, overpaid forwards are going to wilt like orchids under fast food lamps. They simply won’t be able to create offense.
3) Their D-Corps
Hal Gill is immobile, MA Bergeron can’t play defense, Gorges is a no-name depth guy, and their skilled d-men (Markov/Spacek) can’t defend. It’s too much of a rag-tag group to hang with the big boys, and hold up when the pressure is on.
Frankly, for a team that backed into playoffs and looked somewhat pathetic doing it, they have no hope of getting through the toast of the league, the respective Presidents Trophy and Stanley Cup owners. They shouldn’t even be on the same ice with names like Ovechkin, Semin, Backstrom Green, Crosby and Malkin. Who’s gonna stop them? HAL GILL? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
AND HERE’S WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE COMMENTED
LOL, IMHO, it’s Crosby FTW. BRB.
Great points. You’re so right. Montreal is stupid and Gainey sucks and they won’t even win a game and I hope Montreal dies because they booed the US anthem before the War of 1812.
Big Fan of Slandered Team Z:
The plus/minus differential for the Canadiens in that last quadrant of the final sector was substantially better than the Capitals and the Penguins. If the Canadiens just don’t give up any powerplay, even strength or short handed goals, we can take them. I think Halak will get hot, Hal Gill and Gorges will shut down Ovechkin and Crosby, and Cammalleri will be a Conn Smythe favourite. It won’t be easy, but we’ll win the first two rounds in seven games.
Everyone Else’s Thoughts Z:
OMG you think Gill can shut down Ovy, and Halak will suddenly get good, and little Cammelleri will score in playoffs? Respectfully, you’re dumb.
@Everyone Else’s Thoughts Z: +1 ZOMG, totally.
Couple quick thoughts on game seven:
a) Sergei Gonchar was just so bad, I feel like using more adjectives: disinterested, pathetic, unfocused, lacsidasical, lolly-gagger.
b) Fleury, I mean, ulgh, he left a Luongo-hair-gel taste in my mouth
c) Cammalleri was just so good, I feel like using more adjectives: assassin-like, dangerous, locked-in, fully-automatic, slick.
d) Halak doesn’t look like a one-hit wonder. He looks like all the good goaltenders I’ve played with or against, or more accurately, like guys who have success in the NHL. Tall, positional and square with sharp reflexes. I think he’d be a great pick up for someone next year, and deserves some surious cash.
So Montreal wins, Philly takes it to game seven, and suddenly the NHL playoffs are sabatoged. No offense to fans of Montreal, and I mean that sincerely – your team is doing amazing things, and deserves all the praise in the world (starting with world-beater Halak…. that toe save on Malkin yesterday was ridiculous) – but really, the “series I’m excited to watch” chart just dwindled down to one: the Western Conference Finals.
Whether it’s Montreal/Boston or Montreal/Philly (and i’m calling Boston to pull one out of their you-know-where), it’s the third round of playoffs. So these already not-so-deep teams will be playing with injuries after grinding through a combined 27 playoff games. Basically, we’ll be watching (or not watching) a 7 vs. 8 seed series, who are playing tired and without some of their best players. What’s that equal, a 12 vs. 13 series on the thrill-ometer?
I bet the games will be super close (maybe some overtimes), and it’ll be a sluggish, defensive war of attrition, but because the games are close, we’ll have to claim the games were well-played. I desperately want to be wrong about this. Playoffs have been stunning. I really don’t want to feel like saying “fine, I’d rather watch The Biggest Loser too, Bri….”, but it’s a real possibility in the later games of the series.
And assuming the two teams in the West don’t strip each other down to near-lifelessness, we’re looking at a five or six game final at most, any way you slice the matchups.
Ahhhh well. At least we have more rioting to look forward to from Quebec.
Two pieces of big news, folks:
One, while Puck Daddy’s Greg Wyshynski is on paternity leave (which apparently exists, lucky for me), I’ll be taking over his spot. First post will probably be tomorrow, and will increase in frequency over the next week or so. Basically, my blog’s for this site will just be links to my blogs on that site. For a lil bit here.
*Feel free to email or comment suggestions on topics from playoffs you’d like to see covered!
And two, SIDNEY CROSBY IS MOVING OUT OF LEMIEUX’S HOUSE. It’s a big step for the filthy rich 23 year old, I know, so let’s all say a prayer for him!