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Why I Love The Masters



   Because you know the story of this picture.

Because the grass is so green you feel like the contrast on your TV is messed up.

Because you can see the pressure on the players faces.

Because the field makes the ocean look shallow.

Because they try so damn hard, gearing their games up for months to play well that one week.

Because Tiger owns it.

That guy’s name is Hootie.

It’s the only tournament that even non-golfers know about.

Tigers chip in on 16 was the most exciting shot ever.

The name “Amen Corner”

The green jacket is the most awesome prize in sports to recieve, even though thrift shops would turn it down.

I love that last year’s winner puts the jacket on the new guy.

I love the white guy jump Phil did when he won.

I love that Fred Couples has won it.

I love that the course is so prestigious that playing it is the one and only thing on my bucket list.

The bridge, those pink flowers, the water, the fact that nobody can play it for a month before the tournament.

56 minutes of actual golf coverage an hour, as opposed to most majors, which is like 5.6 minutes.

I love the pin placement on 16 on Sundays.

I love the corny montages with the slow music they play that can make you cry if you like golf enough.

I love that every male figure in my life will be talking about it for those 4 days.

I love that it’s accepted to not leave your house on the weekend when it’s on, no guilt involved.

I love how Johnny Miller is morphing into Charles Barkley, completely avoiding any attempt at sugar coating the types of opinions you only expect to hear three whiskeys in.

I love that the players are so nervous coming up 18 you can always tell who’s about to puke on their shoes.

Because they started advertising for it in January.

Because if you win it you’re set on the PGA Tour for the next 5 years.

Because it’s a part of the best month in sports, April.  The Masters, NHL Playoffs, NBA Playoffs, College Hockey Playoffs… yes.  Sign. Me. Up.

I love that every hole has name like “Camelia”.

I love this logo:








Because this is what number 12 looks like:


I love that the tournament has been decided by one shot or a playoff 36 times.

Because it elicits more emotion than The Notebook from generally stoic professionals.

I love that you love it too.  April 7th – 13th, hold all my calls.


11 Responses to “Why I Love The Masters”
  1. Jhett says:

    Agree 100%.

  2. Neil says:

    I don’t watch golf but you’re getting me pumped.

  3. jtbourne says:

    Whether you decide to fully get into it, or just smoke an insane amount of weed and stare at the most gorgeous golf course (and coverage) you’ve ever seen, I guarantee you enjoy your time watching the Masters. It’s soothing. PS, I’m suprised you commented on my love of a golf tournament over my thoughts on writing versus doing. Go.

  4. Justin,
    Keep writing, I’m enjoying it almost as much as watching you play for UAA.
    Give a call when in Anchorage, now I can buy you a beer without any NCAA violations.

  5. jtbourne says:

    Yessssssss….. Sounds great Jerry. Look forward to seein ya!

  6. pat says:

    Hey justin ( I keep typing jason) Did you get your Sleepeeeeezzzzz yet? Pink no less…hate golf but you make it fun to read about …

  7. jiminak says:

    Just got around to reading this and wanted to ask Jerry Dewhurst to check with UAA admin about him buying you a beer. I think the NCAA looks at that kind of thing as a lifetime ban. I won’t tell anyone though if you don’t.
    I’m an Anchorage guy and Seawolves season ticket holder for years who has been lucky enough to see Augusta three times. Best time to go is during practice rounds when players are looser and you get to see a lot more golf than you will on Thursday through Sunday. They hit to greens a couple of times on approaches, then hit a lot of chips, sand shots, and putts to various pin positions. Being in the crowd chanting “Skip, skip, skip…….” and then watching the players skip the ball across the water at 16 is something all golf fans should put on their bucket lists.
    The course itself…………I’d go see it even if there was no golf going on. One of the most beautiful places on earth.

  8. jtbourne says:

    I’m so jealous it hurts.


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