“Phaneuf” Sounds Onomatopoeic
Posted by jtbourne on February 3, 2010 · 27 Comments
Really, the title has nothing to do with anything. Just an observation, reallly. That’s the sound you make when you get hit by him, maybe. “Ph-neuf!”
Because today is gonna be sooo fun, lets start with huge news from the hockey world:
*****
So yeah, good morning!
The Toronto Maple Leafs are the best team ever of all-time and they’re gonna win the Cup, right? Big time.
I see no need for any further review.
Okay, just a little: I thought it was awesome that Phaneuf fought in his first period. If you’re Dion, you know it’s all eyez on you in that first period, so what better way to show you’re committed to being a Leaf than to have a go with Colin White? Every time I ever fought it took a period-plus of self-convincing that I needed to do it (with the odd sticking-up-for-a-teammate skirmish, of course). Phaneuf clearly needed less time. He just seems like a Maple Leaf.
*****
Dion has gone from the Western Conference to the East, and I found myself thinking about how cool that would be. Playing in new cities, cities like New York, Philadelphia, Boston, all those old-school east coast cities (Raleigh-Durham!).
Which leads to the question: which would be the better conference to play in? They both have their warm cities (Phoenix & San Jose vs. Tampa Bay & “Sunrise” (Panthers), they both have their Canadian cities (Toronto, Ottawa & Montreal vs. Vancouver, Calgary & Edmonton), and they both win their share of Cups. What’s your vote?
*****
You know what always surprises me? How different players hold their stick with their top hand. It’s something you just assume everyone does the same, but they totally don’t. And, it makes a huge difference in the things you can do with a stick and puck.
I assume most new players just grab the stick and go, and don’t give it another thought, which is how you should decide what you like. But a good rule of thumb is, if you’re “choking up” on the stick with your top hand, you probably aren’t a great player. Sorry.
Some guys jam the butt-end of their stick into their palm (I’m not even gonna try to make that sound more appropriate, you’re an adult. Stop it), like, completely perpendicular to it. I’m somewhere in the middle. My palm wraps around the very top like a claw, but the rest of my fingers wrap around pretty normal. You’ll find the real handsy guys have their palm and stick in that 90 degree-angle-claw hold (90 degrees is an exaggeration, they obviously have to have some fingers wrapped around, but the butt-end will be jammed into the palm), while guys with hard shots and simpler games just grab the damn thing like they’re holding on to a railing, and fire when ready. Those guys (d-men, usually) have no idea what I’m talking about right now.
I’m guessing how you hold the top of your stick hasn’t crossed your mind all that often? I probably just did the classic golf jinx to like, 400 people. “Do you inhale or exhale when you swing?”
*****
Happy Humpday folks. I hope the Lost premier was as good as EVERY PERSON ON FACEBOOK EVER hoped it was.




I'm a hockey player turned writer. After playing for Alaska Anchorage in the WCHA (NCAA), I carried on with a NHL tryout (New York Islanders in 2007) before spending a couple seasons in the AHL/ECHL. My father, Bob Bourne, won four Stanley Cups with the Islanders in the '80's, as did my fiancee's dad, Clark Gillies. I'm now a columnist for USA Today, The Hockey News and Hockey Primetime.com.
I hold the top of my stick such that if I fall and put downward pressure on the stick with my bottom hand (which is now on top I guess), I crush the second knuckle of my pinky on my top hand (which is now on the bottom) between the ice and the butt end of the stick. One would think I’d learn how to avoid doing that but…
I was a palm jammer. I wasn’t the most “handsy” guy but I’ve done it that way for as long as I can remember. Definately hard on the gloves doing it that way and the pinky takes some abuse, but it was always most comfortable. One thing I could never understand was how guys (usually d-men) could play with that big old 3 inch diameter “puck” of tape stuck on the end of their twig. I presume it is for poke checking purposes but I always felt like a geek when I would hold a stick with that kind of knob.
…And really, I feel like a huge idiot for not mentioning the various types of knobs guys chuck on there, cause that’s really about 50% of the conversation. I’m totally with you – it boggles my mind when guys have a HUGE stopper on the end of their stick that they keep their hand UNDER. I don’t get NO knob either, cause I need something to pull on when I take a slapshot.
man, that ONN clip is just another reason why the sell of hockey to America is just an uphill, seemingly un-winable battle.
I don’t know how in the world guys hold their sticks with the 90 degree butt-end jam, and frankly don’t see how it could be condusive of anything positive shooting, stick-handling, passing, or whatever else there is to do with your stick while playing. I’m definitely a “holding on to a railing” guy. Maybe that’s why I only made it as far as I did. Hmm, there’s still time to make adjustments in the backyard, right??
based on first games after the trade, Toronto seems to have come out on top of the deal with Calgary and the Rangers. We’ll see what happens when the dust settles, and everyone’s done proving themselves and their worth (Oli Jokinen – 0 pts, -2 in debut. Good pickup, NYR). Gooooooooooo Leafs!
Thanks for the tips, Justin. If you have space another day (and have not already written about it), for those of us who picked up hockey as adults, could you talk more about the different kinds of sticks you can purchase (differences and what they signify?) I’m always overwhelmed going into a hockey gear shop and trying to figure out which stick out of 500 different kinds you can buy is “the one to get”. I usually end up getting the sticks that are on sale.
I have never really noticed how I hold my stick. Judging by the wear in my left glove I would have to say that I have the knob just past the palm of my hand. As far as how that knob is shaped I would be one of those dmen with a knob on the end, but not a big one. I have always had the rolled up tape grip about 5 inches down from the top and it is topped of by a smallish knob (insert joke here).
Speaking of tape, how do people tape their blade, heel to toe, toe to hell? Do you cover the entire blade including the toe or leave a little bit off at the end? White or black? wax or no wax?
My has on the stick are like my hands on a golf club – except I space them out a lot LOL.
The East would be the best conference to play in if you don’t like to travel. No change in time zones, shorter travel, you’re home right after the game most of the time ( for those one game road trips anyway). The West would be better if you like “exotic” (read “warm”) locations: Phoenix, Dallas, LA, Anaheim, even SJ…
oh wow Frank, that could be an interesting article, could be very long too! heel curves, mid curves and toe curves oh my! (you can use that as the title Justin)
I have no knob on my stick because at 6′3″, the sticks I buy are juuussssttt the right length. If I want a knob, I have to buy an extension. But then again I’ve been taping my sticks that way since I was 12. As for the blade, I go toe-to-heel; the guys I play wight give me a hard time and tell me I should go heel to toe…
When I first started playing, I used to copy Bertuzzi’s butt end knob (ok, stop snickering, like you said we’re adults). When he was on the Isles, dude used to have his stick look like he literally just put the entire roll of tape on the end. I wasn’t that bad, but I was close. Aleksei ripped me apart for it one day, and I’ve since gone with no knob at all, just some tape. Usually a bit thicker in the middle to contour to my palm. And I fall in the handsy category.
Kind of off topic, but something I was thinking about the other night. If you think about it, the Caps and Pens are kinda built the same, though they follow the mold of their superstar. So heres a somewhat standard question we’ve all answered, but expanded out a bit to put up for you and anyone else: If you could start a team tomorrow, who would you rather have? Ovechkin/Semin/Backstrom/Green/Varlamov or Crosby/Malkin/Staal/Gonchar/Fleury. I kinda wanna take the goalies out of the equation, since Varly doesn’t have nearly the track record. But he’s done his thing ridiculously when he’s played.
Go Leafs Go!!
I don’t play hockey, but whenever I played in the basement I held my stick both right handed and left handed. never paid much attention to my top hand though.
Looking at my right glove it appears that my stick jams right in the middle of my palm, the leather almost looks new down by my pinky. I put wooden ends in my composite sticks so that I can file off a corner or two to make it fit better, also I do the single wrap probably about a foot down that shaft. One layer of tape, thats all. Don’t like it any other way.
Also further Franks point… how tall are peoples sticks? I know its a position/preference thing to a point, but for someone 6′2ish who plays wing is there a standard stick height to body height ratio that is taken as a rule of thumb? Besides the top of shaft is just under your chin when on skates?
I notice Phaneuf fought with his visor on, so it is much ado about nothing. I will be interested to see if Don Cherry approves of such unmanliness now that he’s a Leaf.
too many guys in here talking about their hands on their sticks….
luckily i’m a goalie and my stick only requires one hand…but it’s totally big enough for two…you know….nevermind.
Good call about the knob usage. I think that that’s something I always took notice of too early on (my dad introduced me to the rasp at an early age), but anways, i think i tried just about everything and anything, like that picture they have of all bobby orr’s sticks (i found it!: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-set?.out=jpg&id=JuCuMGm33hGqk04YT2flsA&size=l). I guess he was known more for how he taped the bottom of his stick, huh? i tried the big whammer, rolling the tape and making some sort of a grip with it, got cutesy, but i think in the end i just went with a little stopper on the top made out of half as wide tape, palm grasp closer to the twig – the less is more approach, perhaps.
Ah! And we have our “winner”!
Greg mines the “that’s what she said”-ish library of jokes first! Lots of good comments here – I’ll make my response tomorrows entry.
The Phaneuf thing: I think White jumped him after he ran Parise, so it’s not like he had time to square off.
sorry ’bout the link.
Re: Phaneuf and the visor, Colin White was rocking the visor too and he instigated the fight after a clean hit, White’s hat just fell off and Dion’s didn’t.
It’s a tough call, obviously it’s a bit silly to start fights or play like Dion does if you’re not willing to lose the shield for a fight, but at the same time, he’s in his early 20’s and I don’t blame the guy for wanting to keep his eyes for as long as possible. In the heat of the moment when a guy jumps you, what can ya do?
I’d rather play in the East. Less travel, less hitting, a good handful of garbage teams, top-6 centers can fall into 7 million bucks a year and a defensemen with a good year or two under his belt can find some sucker to give him 4-6 million. Ok, those are all directed at the Rangers, but still…. I’d rather play out East and take the money and the fame.
On the conference thing, I would think the eastern conference would be better…..you have 4 of the original 6 teams there (great rivalries) and other teams that have a lot of great history. Also, it seems like more eastern conference teams are in areas where people actually grow up playing hockey (better fan support and more fans who understand the game they are watching). How many teams in the Pacific Division of the Western Conference are in areas where hockey is a big recreational sport?
I grew up in Texas, and when you go to a Dallas Stars game, the only people who seem to understand what is going on on the ice are transplants from Canada, the northeastern US, or the midwest.
Western Conference = Pacific Division. Sandals to practice and golf immediately after. Living- the – dream
Yep. That’s living. Guys in the Pacific must be SO surprised when they get a paycheck. Like “really, you were serious about paying me for this? Damn, that’s amazing. I’ll quit my other job. This is too good to be true.”
Phaneuf does seem to fit right in as a Maple Leaf (after all of 4 days). Of course, he also seemed like the perfect Sutter-type Flame as well. Darryl Sutter hugged him at the draft – I didn’t think Darryl Sutter knew how to hug.
The Sutters can love you, the Sutters can hate you – there seems to be no middle ground.
I’m not sure where I read it (might have even been here), but the one thing that’s stuck with me about this Phaneuf trade is how much the Sutters know Phaneuf.
Brent was his coach in Red Deer, with the World Juniors and then with the Flames. Darryl obviously drafted him, watched him develop and coached him in his rookie season. I think the article stated something along the lines that one would be hard-pressed to find anybody in the hockey world who knows Dion Phaneuf better.
And now they’ve decided to move on without him (I can’t imagine in any way possible that this trade started with Calgary thinking ‘You know what this team needs? Some Stajan/White/Hagman/Mayers!’
I might be reading too much into it, but for the Sutters to decide that Phaneuf isn’t their guy after nine years where he was their guy…I dunna…what does that say?
On the opposite side of the coin of Phaneuf prospering in the East, anyone else think that White might struggle in the West?
When I took my first hockey class the teacher (amazing guy named Chris Kamalani who works with the PHA) dealt with how to hold your stick in the first few classes. His recommendation was the butt-in-palm with a little bit of finger (yeah, no way you can’t make that not be dirty) so I’ve got little to no knob. When I play D I am not a great stick handler…but I also find my hand creeping further down the stick during a game. So possibly if I could fix that I’d become a better puck handler.
In goal stick handling is not the problem – there I have a big knob cuz it’s hard enough to pick up your stick if you lose it. If it’s lying flat on the ice it’s practically impossible to pick up since the blocker is longer than your fingers! That inch or so of space provided by the knob makes *all* the difference.
@ Frank – I don’t know about Texas but in CA they adopted hockey with a passion. In the Bay Area alone there are 7 sheets available (not counting the 2 professional arenas since rec leagues don’t play there). Which is pretty impressive considering the weather
I gotta go with the East though – as a player the difference between travel miles ads up to 20-30,000 or so. That means a lot over a full season.
That’s an interesting point about Phaneuf, KForbes. And White as well.
Of course Phaenuf is a Leaf. He sucks.
Did you know that in field hockey, all the sticks are right-handed? if you want to take a lefty shot, you have to flip your stick over and take it with the toe pointing down.
Great converation on a seldom heard topic: *icks.
The hold. I just pick mine up and go, but not with the butt-end directly in my palm.
The *ick: I too usually get the ones on sale, as long as they’re not too stiff. I need some flex for some reason or another.
The tape: I put tape along the bottom of the blade as well as the toe, and then tape toe to heel. I find the tape along the bottom helps keep the tape on the blade from peeling to easily, once the bottom tape wears away. And I tape the toe because (when I was a kid at least) I had a habit of taping the ice with the toe which, after many many taps, start to chip the toe of the *ick.
Also, I’m an Aries, cheer for the Leafs, am fond of the ocean, and like pizza.