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Three Blurbs, Plus A Look At Canadian Olympic Rosters Part II & III

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I thought I’d chuck out some vague, teaser-style sentences about what’s been taking up some of my time lately:

I’m working on a TV show with a couple producers – guys that’ve made more good movies than I’ve even seen.  Of course, if it doesn’t get bought, I (and they) make no money.  So, it’s a gamble, but it’s a fun gamble.  Like my pre-NFL season bet on the Jets to win the Superbowl.  REALLY, MGM, ONLY 22-1 ODDS FOR THIS SHIT?  Ridiculous.

(Much) More info to come in the future.

*****

So, I was made aware via Twitter (thanks to follower @mdamore4), of the following comment on Chris Botta’s highly read Islander blog “Islanders Point Blank”, written by the cleverly-named “orgaNYIzation”:

Publicity, Charles...

Cant wait for Gillie’s daughter and Bourne’s son to bear a son (and may he be a masculine son). If that kid get’s Clark’s size and toughness and Bobby’s speed and stickhandling ability..look out. Can we use a #6 this June and draft the future Bourne?

Yes.

I’m not sure if the bulk of my new followers are aware, but early (early) on in my writing days, I made this proposal to Islanders owner Charles Wang.  I’m baffled I didn’t receive some response (like “Haha, beat it kid”?), but the offer still stands…. Help pay for what can be a well-publicized, orange and blue wedding, and we’ll promise the Islanders the rights to our first born male.  Or female, if the girl gets all Hayley-Wickenheiser-times-two up in this biatch.

*****

 Next on my list is a hilarious website courtesy a couple of my high school buddies called “How Many Beers?”  It’s a pretty simple concept – a picture is shown, and commentors answer the age-old dudes-on-a-couch question…. “How many beers?”  If you don’t get what HMB refers to, don’t go to the website.  If you do, you’re liable to get a few laughs. 

I was the item for discussion yesterday under the heading “Something for the ladies…” – Again, and less subtley, it’s not a PG site, so those of you who read my site for kitten pics, maybe stay away.  Or go here.  The rest of you,  Check it out.

*****

I played hockey with a guy named Josh Ciocco – He’s an American guy from New Jersey, who captained the University of New Hampshire hockey team, and is now some sort of sports agent.  He wrote me with what I thought was a really good point:

Occasionally you’ll hear someone say “other countries are catching up to Canada in hockey”, or something of that ilk – his point (one a few other people have made), is that simply, no, not quite.  Whether the top Russians or top Americans go on to beat our top Canadians at the Olympics or not, how would a second Russian team look?  Or American?  It falls off pretty steep after the top tier.

Canada is so deep, he went ahead and made the list of what our second team would look like, and it’d be a medal contender for sure.  The fun part, is that he made the third team too (by the way, the point is to demonstrate depth, not argue about who would be on which roster).

Josh:

“For whatever reason, I like Canada’s team, but I dont love it. I actually really like the US simply because of Miller. Canada does have the best roster though, and it got me thinking, Canada would also have the second best roster. I mean seriously….”

I thought Stamkos mighta snuck on Team One...

TEAM NUMBER TWO

Jeff Carter
Marc Savard
Stephen Weiss
Vincent Lecaivilier
Martin St. Louis
Steve Stamkos
Brad Richards
Dustin Penner
Mike Cammellari
Wojtek Wolski
Jordan Staal
Ryan Smyth
Shane Doan

Jay Bowmeester
Dion Phaneuf
Mike Green
Brian Campbell
Ed Jovanovski

30 goal scoring d-man doesn't make team one. Right or wrong, it's crazy...

Marc Staal
Brayden Coburn

Steve Mason
Cam Ward
Marty Turco

“And because im bored and in class… If this was any other country, people would say they would be in medal contention – I present Canada’s third team.. (a little light in the pipes)”

Travis Zajac
John Tavares
Matt Duchense
Nathan Horton
Alex Burrows

Maybe in 2014, buddy...

Rene Bourque
Derek Roy
Andy Macdonald
Patrick Sharp
Matt Stajan
Simon Gagne
Daniel Brierre

Bryan McCabe
Michael Delzotto
Derek Morris
Kyle Quincey
Dennis Wideman
Dan Hamhuis
Rob Blake

Carey Price
Jose Theodore
Chris Osgood

Post your thoughts below!

Comments

39 Responses to “Three Blurbs, Plus A Look At Canadian Olympic Rosters Part II & III”
  1. Goody says:

    Canada is scary deep with talent. Perhaps it boils down to the difference between “catching up” and “caught”. No doubt in my mind that there are many more talented American players now than there have been in the past. There is still a long, long, long way to go before they catch up with Canada, but they have gained some ground no? If you agree that they have gained ground, does not “catching up” describe that?

  2. Will77 says:

    Thats a fantastic point about Canadian hockey. I’ve heard both of those statements (“catching Canadian hockey” & “Canada could fill two teams”), but never put them together like that. Looking at that second team, if you put Luongo in net since he will barely play for the ‘A-Team’ unless Brodeur suddenly stinks up the joint… that team with him in net would be a definite medal team. I’ll take their B-Squad defense corps over USA’s in a heartbeat.

  3. Char says:

    Interesting site, that HMB. Some questions for the guys:

    1. Why are siliconized breasts deemed attractive? I mean, don’t they scream “FAKE” at you?

    2. Why is it OK for men to go crazy over Kournikova, then heap scorn on women who admire a nice-looking male athlete? (“You only like him ’cause he’s good-looking!”)

    3. What’s attractive about a woman who’s built like an adolescent boy? (See just about any movie star/model who’s not Halle Berry.)

    4. Why do men think two attractive women kissing is the height of hotness, but two attractive men kissing is disgusting?

    Yes, these are the things I sit around wondering about. ;-)

  4. greg says:

    Char:

    1. If you can touch them, they are real.

    2. two words: double standard

    3. Halle Berry is hot too.

    4. Because we hope it will lead to them doing other things together….with us. We would love to “be the meat in that sandwich” so to speak….. not so much with the guys.

  5. ms.conduct says:

    Gotta say, even as a totally straight chick, I don’t care if boobs are fake. Boobs are boobs. Boobs are great. If I were a guy, I’d be a slobbering idiot for a nice rack, kind of in the way I’m a slobbering idiot for goalies.

    I voted Sober, Justin, but only to be nice. You’re hot (for a forward) but I’m so bitter about Selanne, I’d need to be pretty hammered. ;-)

    Pretty cool about the TV thing there, Hollywood. Don’t forget the little people, k?

  6. Char says:

    Thanks, Greg. And Ms.Conduct, I just have to disagree. I wouldn’t find sacs of silicon sexy, but I suppose that’s just me.

  7. Mike says:

    I don’t endorse anyone getting plastic surgery to look better. Nor do I think women should look like Pam Anderson or some porn star to be attractive. But I do like the boobies. Go team USA or what ever hockey related stuff was mentioned until ta tas changed the subject.

  8. Beer:30 says:

    Got to agree on the depth thing. (shocker) I would say it has something to do with the depth of penetration in the Canadian market versus everywhere else. Sure there may be other markets as hockey crazy as Canada but do any of them put in as many dollars, at a national scale on all levels, into hockey. Hockey isn’t a cheap sport and it takes a cold and somewhat developed country to foster superstar growth from a young age. Having it as part of the national identity helps too.

    @ Char:
    1. Yes. However, it is something guys are pre-programed to respond to. One of the things on the list that guys use unconsciously to size up a females breeding potential. Enhance it and it’s more than likely going to increase response.

    2. I’ll second the double standard.

    3. Personally, I think that the fashion industry is driven more by womens self image than what men think is attractive. I would also guess that most of the reason people do find the “young boy” body attractive because they are sexualized by the media and not for any real biological reason.

    4. Depends on who you ask I guess. Guys never think of two ugly women kissing. If it’s two ugly women I don’t think that anyone would think it’s hot. It’s also something that guys can never participate in (just two women kissing) involving things that are supposed to get us excited. So in some respects it’s like the wanting to fly like a bird, except with women ….. and boobs …..

  9. Mike#2 says:

    No Mike Fisher on either of those teams?

    I may be from Ottawa but wasn’t he someone that they took a long and hard look at for Team#1.

    As for boobs I’m with Greg on this one. If they aren’t on your computer screen and they are in front of you they are real.

  10. minnesotagirl71 says:

    I think Halle Berry’s are real…. Wasn’t that the big deal when she flashed them in Swordfish? Go ahead guys, we’ll wait while you order it from netflix to research the issue. I just love how she rocks the short hair!

    Beer:30 – I was thinking the same thing you mentioned – that hockey thrives in cold areas. There are five Minnesotans on the US Olympic team. I think that’s a pretty impressive number from one state.

  11. jtbourne says:

    Here are my thoughts:

    Boobs. Boobsboobs boobsboobs, boobyboobtit “Boobboobenly, boobtastics Boobers” – Booben

    Right?? But then, I could be wrong.

  12. Neil says:

    Canada’s depth is silly but as Beer:30 said, there are good reasons (that are duplicated in many similar nations). It’s cold, hockey is HUGE in Canada, people can afford the gear, and the best athletes are usually channeled into hockey. I am really impressed with nation’s like Finland (5.5 million people) and Sweden (9.5 million) that consistently churn out world class hockey players (and even teams in international competition). Quebec, Ontario, and BC+Alberta (those are provinces in Canada) could probably field teams on their own too.

    BOOBS….. I think real ones are infinitely better because 1) women who get boob jobs tend to be less than smart and way too worried about being perfectly, constantly attractive (possibly due to said lack of smartness), and 2) Fake boobs are usually a size or two too big and can be spotted from miles away because they stick out like, well, bags of fluid stuck on your chest. Maybe the Internet has dulled my responses (er, I mean….) but fake boobs are a big turnoff for me.
    Same with the super-skinny tits-on-a-stick look, I totally agree with Beer:30 that women are far more interested in being the smallest size humanly possible than men are in seeing it (straight men don’t read Cosmo). The idea of being 5″10 and 103 lbs. is a new thing that would have signalled “poor health” to men in previous eras. Seriously, how gross is a 103 lb woman with fake boobs and a 6-pack? imho, REALLY GROSS! Same with two hot guys kissing, sorry Char :) In my defense, my girlfriend agrees with me that two guys kissing is kinda gross whereas two hot girls kissing is YAHTZEE!! so it might be more of a social attitude towards gender roles, not just a guy thing.

  13. Officer Koharski says:

    1: Fake boobs are gross. They are often unnaturally round and they feel as hard as a rock, decorated with a misshapen nipple and a nice scar to remind the person they paid tens of thousands of dollars to have some quack ruin their bodies. This does not apply to women who get implants to replace a mastectomy. That is the one and only exception.

    2: I don’t think any guys really think much of Anna as a player, they may root for her but only because it means more airtime. My ex used to pine for DiPietro but he was playing lights out at the time. If she was crushing on Bournie like that I might take issue. No offense man.

    3. Some people like the elfin look. I see skater kids wearing tiny ass girl jeans and I wonder what the hell women see in them, and yet they get their fair share. It goes both ways. I know I wouldn’t kick a lady elf out of bed. So athletic…so limber….

    4. I don’t buy that you don’t see the difference between two women kissing and two men kissing. What is more attractive: two Orchid flowers gently bumping petals or two roughly hewn logs scraping up together. Women are the fairer sex and easier on the eyes. Maybe my analogy is bonkers but there is some magic there I can’t explain. I mean, assuming you’re heterosexual, do you really find two dudes smooching to be attractive?

    JB, I’d like to hear your input on the Sutton/Dupuis thing. My mancrush on Okposo aside, I consider myself a pretty objective hockey fan, but I feel Dupuis is at least as responsible for the incident as Sutton is. Before I go any further, let me say Sutton should have held up, he should (and now will be) held responsible for hurting the guy. But if I was in his position I probably would have reacted the same way, and I bet a lot of other players would have. Dupuis at the last possible second tried to pivot and reverse the puck on Sutton, when he full well knew the defender was right there breathing down his neck. He was bent over, hands low and face at dasher height, what the hell do you think is going to happen?

    I almost feel as if that play is tantamount to cheating, it’s a cop-out play. The defender is going to cut me off, but if I turn on him he can’t legally(safely) hit me and I’ll escape the other way. He was banking on Sutton to let him off the hook or totally miss, neither of which happened. I think one reason no one (especially Guerin) tried to do anything is they recognized the hit as being mutually unfortunate. Sutton didn’t make any excuses and owned up for it totally, but I think Dupuis left himself hanging out to dry as much as Sutton made the wrong move.

    I also think it’s funny that Gonchar on Clutterbuck got swept under the rug even when it was clearly retaliatory. I think Sutton did deserve a small suspension but this lack of consistency is really bush league.

  14. Officer Koharski says:

    Holy shit that was a long post, didn’t realize. I should start paying you for hosting MY blog in your comments section.

    Regarding that; I’m still nagging my roomate to buy a banner ad, he’s a big flake but I think he’ll come around eventually. If he never comes through I’ll donate some cash for leading your broke ass on.

  15. jtbourne says:

    Koharski, I’m not at my computer, but seriously go look at my last USA Today column for my thoughts, I beat Dupuis to creating the story.

    In this instance, onus is on Sutton. Winds up for power to punish a guy clearly facing the other way. No spin. He’s facing the puck, but knows Sutton is there.

  16. Officer Koharski says:

    Good article, I’m glad you expanded on the ‘basketball protect’ thing, it often plays second fiddle in the argument about boarding calls because people get upset and think you’re trying to excuse the hitter, which is totally wrong. I think Sutton deserved what he got because he should have held up instead of gambling with someone’s safety. During the game I thought Dupuis was going to try and carry it around and Sutton was trying to close him off hard, I watched it a few times and you’re right in that his back was turned the whole way, but that’s the benefit of slow motion and replay. I hope Sutton misread the play rather than deliberately trying to punish Dupuis for being in that stance, that far from the boards, both hands on the stick.

  17. Neil says:

    When you see a guy’s numbers and he’s by the boards, you don’t hit him. I thought Sutton gave him a pretty obvious shove, but (as per Bourne’s article in USA today) Dupuis definitely was acting like no one would possibly hit him. In his defense, when you are in that danger area by the boards and your back is turned, people shouldn’t hit you. But even if Dupuis was sideways, wouldn’t that be boarding?

    I’m right with you on the Gonchar/Clutterbuck hypocrisy Koharski. The worst part was that Campbell actually cited the retaliatory nature of the hit AS A REASON FOR NOT SUSPENDING GONCHAR!!!!!

    Campbell —- “Cal Clutterbuck leads the League, or is close to leading the League, in hits. He hit Gonchar very hard into the boards prior to that — real hard. That could have been boarding. Could have been charging. It wasn’t. So Gonchar, who’s been hurt before and knocked out before and suffered a concussion; he’s on the receiving end more than he’s on the giving end — I don’t think he’s ever been on the giving end — he went in and it was a 5-minute interference penalty and he hit him with his shoulder.”

    http://ca.sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/Campbell-explains-Burrows-fine-no-suspension-fo?urn=nhl,213626

    Apparently, if someone clocks you and Campbell’s shitty ref’s don’t call it, you have a small window in which to get away with retaliating without fear of a suspension, if he thinks you’re a nice guy and you clock a meanie. Don’t get me wrong, I think Clutterbuck plays like a guy who should be taking his helmet off a little more often when he periodically musters up the courage to answer for his style of play with his fists, but that double-standard is absurd and Campbell said it better than anyone else could (the bad news is, that’s the guy in charge of making sense).

  18. Char says:

    //I mean, assuming you’re heterosexual, do you really find two dudes smooching to be attractive?//

    Oh, HELL yes! Seriously? Two gorgeous guys? HELL yes!

    I mean, if you, as a man, find two gorgeous women together sexy, wouldn’t it stand to reason that I’d find the same true of the opposite gender?

  19. Officer Koharski says:

    Neil: It’s hilarious man, especially the lack of self awareness Campbell seems to have. I really wonder how much longer this is going to go on for, because it’s kind of embarrassing. You can’t be a shoot from the hip type of guy as league disciplinarian. There should be standards that are adjusted according to the circumstances. When you flying elbow to the head a guy who never came close to touching the puck, you HAVE to make him sit. There is no excuse for retaliating that way, especially an obvious and deliberate head shot.

    Char: I’ll take your word for it, I guess it depends on what you find sexy in a guy. I have to assume it isn’t the macho vibe because that goes right out the window. I realize that’s really one sided but girls kissing somehow doesn’t spoil the femininity for me.

  20. Char says:

    But the macho vibe *doesn’t* go out the window, Koharski. Trust me on this. The more masculine the guys, the sexier it is.

    I really think men don’t get this at all. Which is fine – I wouldn’t expect you to. ;-)

  21. jtbourne says:

    That’s the best point Koharski – I’ve stayed away from those questions of hers for fear of once-again upsetting everyone with any sexuality anywhere, but that’s the right point: for straight guys, girls kissing doesn’t ruin what’s supposed to be hot about girls – femininity. And for straight girls, I would think, guys kissing ruins what’s supposed to be a thing women like about us – the whole masculinity thing (for lack of a better descriptor). I HAVE to believe that Char, you’re in the minority of women on that (also, if you do find it attractive, then you get why we do, right?)

    Oh, and one more quote:

    “Boobboobenly, boobacious boobtacular” — which I thought was a great point when I first read it.

  22. Deirdre says:

    Ah Torchwood, bringing the world hot guys kissing.

    http://tinyurl.com/y93789p

    @ Koharski – I think the reason for not seeing the difference is that I may find rough hewn logs incredibly beautiful but find orchids to be flimsy and pale…

  23. Barbra says:

    “two guys kissing is kinda gross”

    “do you really find two dudes smooching to be attractive?”

    “Guys kissing ruins what’s supposed to be the thing women like about us – the whole masculinity thing.”

    — Wow, this is a gay friendly blog? Some really ignorant and hateful things said here. Never coming back.

  24. jtbourne says:

    ….siiiigggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….

  25. Barbra says:

    I would also like to say too, that even when I think the tide is turning for gay people in this world, I am always reminded when I read things like this of how FAR we as human beings have to go until we in America or any part of hte world where gay people are persecuted for everything…everything…start giving gay people even the slightest bit of respect. Maybe in a hundred years. I was so liking this blog too, and have been following for quite some time, and especially after the young man who is with the hockey player and who was too petrifed to email you for simply thanking you Mr. Bourne because his name would be made known and we have to speak about his love that he has for this guy – which touched me heart. But, he was too scared to even admit his real name… is it any wonder? There are probably other sports blogs that don’t speak on this issue of gay men in such fashions as much – hopefully I can fine one!

  26. Char says:

    //I HAVE to believe that Char, you’re in the minority of women on that//

    Oh, you’d be surprised. ;-)

    //(also, if you do find it attractive, then you get why we do, right?)//

    Well of course. So then, you get why we women do, right?

    Barbra, I understand where you’re coming from, but I’m not going to slam guys for not understanding. It’s not that they’re being deliberately mean, just that it’s out of their ken. It’s unfathomable. As long as they’re saying “I don’t get it,” that’s OK. As I said, I wouldn’t expect them to. As long as they understand that other people have different feelings, fine by me.

  27. Mike says:

    Barbra, don’t worry about it. As a bisexual dude, I don’t take offence to their talk. No worries at all, and no self-hate here either. But, I will say that all straight guys LOVE the homosex. They dabble in it SO often behind their wives’ back and their girlfriends’ back. There is so much Down Low action going on in this world it will make your head spin, but they identify as “straight”, it don’t mean it’s true of who they really are. These are the guys who cruise gyms lookin’ for hot young Abercrombie type guys to bang when their “girl” is away, giving the low-key eye contact, the signals they send, happens all the time. Happens all the time. Everyday, everwhere. Married, “straight” and or otherwise. So don’t worry aobut defending gay people, guys are not so “straight” in this world. The ones who scream “straight” the loudest are the ones on having the most down low fun!

  28. Mike says:

    Suggestion for Justin for a possible blog that will probably raise media attention again: Down Low activity among athletes. There is so much to write about for you, oh the stories I have. DL athletes who are married, with kids, etc. Secret craigslist postings of hockey players “coming to town for a night”…oh the stories.

  29. Mike says:

    ..and very hot I might add. Very hot.

  30. jtbourne says:

    Ha, CRAZY comments Mike, thanks. People would DEFINITELY think I was gay if I wrote that! But that’s nuts to hear. Are you speaking from experience? Care to drop a name for my readers?

  31. Mike says:

    Names? Are you attempting to become the next Perez? Just kidding…though, you’d be a millionaire. I love this blog though the way it is as I am a hockey fan so I come here to read about hockey, but this stuff makes it very, very interesting. I have experience, yes. Name dropping, I am not a d-bag. But, these guys who are married with kids are not great guys, but what keeps them from acting like good and faithful men is homophobia. That’s not rocket science to figure out though.

    Why would people think you’re gay? Who cares what they think. They probably want you to be..at least…a little bit. Haha.

    But, really, you’re surprised by down low action? “On the DL”… Have you ever of that phrase before, or is that something solely in America….hmm…you’re learning though…but, not all guys are 100% straight. There are guys who find love in maybe just one guy their entire life, like the 90/10 type guys, 90% into women, but 10% into guys, but that guy has to be something pretty amazing for them to act on it. You know this right? Then the guys who don’t refer to themselves as gay because they think it’s like the “n-word”. But, I stress it’s not just about sex, it’s about love and emotion for some, but there are a lot of whore-ish “straight” guys out there too.

    There is a ton of DL going on among “straight” married/girlfriend guys who are public and private figures. It’s the guys who make the move, a little eye contact here, a little flirt there, and hot man on man within an hour. Same thing all over the place. There are more gay and bisexual people in this world then the Census would claim. Way more. You have to take into account the people who admit it, and that’s the 20%.

    This is not new and has been going on forever, since the Dawn of Man.

  32. Neil says:

    @ Barbra: I’ve been thinking about it today and I’m inclined to agree with some of what you are saying. It made me immediately regret my choice of words, and as I thought about it I realized that “gross” really wasn’t a good description, for one because it’s not true: I have gay friends that kiss/make-out/grindtobadmusic all the time and it has never grossed me out in the least. It certainly doesn’t do it for me like two large-breasted sorority girls making out does but it doesn’t gross me out in the slightest either. When I image what it would actually be like to make-out with a guy, I imagine bad breath, hairy grossness, questionable hygiene, chapped lips, and a lumpy body I want nothing to do with, but that’s certainly a lot different than thinking that two random guys kissing, gay, bi, or straight, is gross. I agree with the basic gist of your comment Barbra but I think the distinction I just mentioned is something you should consider before you blast everybody and this blog for being horrible to gays. At the same time, I definitely agree with you that being totally repulsed by two men kissing is nothing to be proud of.

  33. Mike says:

    “When I image what it would actually be like to make-out with a guy…”- Neil the Heterosexual.

  34. Neil says:

    I can also imagine what it would be like to be an astronaut, or what it might be like to lead a thousand men into battle. I’m not sure what you’re getting at…?

  35. jtbourne says:

    Yeah, I was a little disappointed by that too. OHMIGOD, NEILS A CLOSET ASTRONAUT!

    Moving on…. totally random Neil, (not sure if you saw my tweet), but I thought the concept of this website was money: http://www.antiduckface.com

  36. Neil says:

    the premise that “all straight guys LOVE the homosex” might be where that train goes off the rails….

  37. Neil says:

    lol yeah that link will keep me busy for awhile

  38. minnesotagirl71 says:

    While I don’t find two guys or two girls kissing appealing or attractive – it doesn’t mean I am anti-gay or homophobic. What people find attractive varies significantly.

    And yes – the premise that “all straight guys love the homosex” is pretty ridiculous. Could you also say that all gay guys love the heterosex? Nope! It’s probably best to avoid those broad generalizations…

    Now my hubby and I are off to meet our long time lesbian friend and her girlfriend for a MN Swarm game! (yes – she’s a long time lesbian and a long time friend!)

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