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Videos and Conversation Starters



WAKE UP!  Let’s get today goin’ with three must-see videos:

You only need the first 30 seconds or so of this next one. A “fake robbery” prank gone wrong… I love how shady the guy is after, like “nothing to see here…”:

Have you seen “Jersey Shore” yet?  God I hope not.  Unfortunately, some of us live with east coast girls who think reality TV is hilarious, and I’ll admit, this one is tough to turn away from for all the wrong reasons. For my Canadian friends, here’s a sneak peek at the high-quality television MTV is running these days (by the way, a million thanks to the news anchors for their insightful commentary on the show.)

(*high-pitched* WHAT GUY DOES THAT??)


Thinking: "I haven't used this thing in years, since I discovered hockey."

Thinking: "I haven't used this thing in years, since I discovered hockey."

 I understand how some things are tough for countries to change, like for the US, it would be expensive to switch to the reasonable system of measurement, metric.  What I don’t get, is why it would be a huge, raging difficulty for both Canada and the US to simply change our national sports to what our countries national sports actually are

Really, Canada?  Lacrosse?  At least Americans can debate over a couple stupid loopholes, like the word “pasttime”.  What’s our excuse for ignoring the obvious?  And not to sound like Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler, but REALLY, USA?  Baseball?  Can you be proud of yourselves being represented by A NON-CONTACT sport?  That doesn’t seem very American to me.  What gets better ratings, the Superbowl or MLB playoff “action”? 

The toque can't overcome sabotage, bastard.

The toque can't overcome sabotage, bastard.



Jose Theodore spent two months sabotaging my fantasy hockey team from the inside, like a double agent.  After the discovery of his bad intentions and his subsequent release, he went back to his true owner, whoever it is I’m playing this week (I believe that’s you, AiH). 

 Theodore nearly put up a shutout for my opponent (head-to-head league) in a 6-1 win with a huge save percentage.  I wanted to like you, Jose, I really did.  In the prime of your career, you wore a toque on your helmet for an outdoor game.  And now, all you have are reservations for one at Justin Bourne’s Sports Hate Bar and Grill.



Isn’t having “divisions” in sports just a generally horrible idea?  In all seriousness, why do we need them, just to lower travel expenses?  What would be so bad about just having two conferences and the top teams making it?

Yeah that seems fair.

Yeah that seems fair.

It just makes no sense to me that you can get the three seed in playoffs when you don’t have the third best record in your conference.  It also make no sense to me that good teams like the Toronto Blue Jays routinely have to take the no-jock crotch-kick of being in the same division with the Yankees and Red Sox, while teams like the Washington Capitals get 20-some night-off-free-W’s a year by being good enough to coast past Carolina, Florida, Tampa Bay or Atlanta once every few games.


 Happy humpday.  Time to start holiday shopping?


15 Responses to “Videos and Conversation Starters”
  1. St. Cloud Gopher says:

    Could not agree more with the national sport thing. In fact, as a born and bred American who loves baseball, is for football. Not just because of the contact (which, really, is just glorified 1st degree assault), but because of how the league operates.
    Jay Cutler has never been anything but talent wrapped in question marks. When he signed his big deal in Chi-town, Wall Street blushed.
    Much of our nation is supported by immigrants, cheap teen workers and the over qualified. Sounds like offensive linemen.
    When the true, hard-working talent finds a lean year or two, they are kicked to the curb for cheaper “options” that may or may not be better than the previous person. Like running backs.
    The most popular person in the league is Peyton Manning. Maybe Tom Brady. But always a quarterback. Yes, if Obama didn’t strike me as more of a soccer guy, then I would say he is like 18. Always changing things at the line. But, really, no one knows if it’s BS and the talk is meant to confuse as the real play called in the huddle still stands.

  2. KofC says:

    You’re right that football may as well be declared the U.S.’s national sport (never gotten into it myself; I much prefer baseball, or at least I prefer going to ballparks and wandering around taking photos). I’m going to be annoying and point out that technically lacrosse is Canada’s national *summer* sport and hockey (or “ice hockey,” as Wikipedia always calls it) is the national *winter* sport, both declared in 1994. (At least the no doubt powerful curling lobby didn’t manage to beat out hockey!)

    They should just end the confusion by declaring hockey the ONE national sport. (I saw a local Canadian news broadcast for probably the first time ever after watching the Caps-Leafs game online Saturday; there were two stories about hockey before they even got to the sports part of the broadcast!)

    Anyway, I’ve been enjoying this blog for a while now. Have fun shopping, I haven’t started yet either!

  3. AiH says:

    Nope, not me this week JB. You already dispatched my feeble little team a few weeks ago.

  4. JD says:

    We get Jersey Shore up here dude, and I’m not gonna lie – I’m a big fan. I still haven’t decided if it is real or not, but frankly, I don’t care. And let’s be honest, there is no denying that “Mike The Situation” is the best self-proclaimed nickname of all time. I think if 87 decided to become “Sid The Situation” he could win over some of those haters…

  5. jtbourne says:

    Oh it’s real – I’ve gone out in NY enough to know that those people exist. And you nailed it – I’ve been obsessed with that handle since I first heard it. I’m not even sure what it means. A good situation? Awkward? Cannoli-based? Nope, no specifics – I’m just a fukn situation, kid.

  6. SDC says:

    the only purpose lacrosse serves as our national sport these days is to make people who are aware of that fact, one trivia question’s worth smarter. There’s always someone who thinks it’s hockey, naturally. So when you answer “lacrosse” as the correct answer, you’ll either wow your friends with your vast knowledge of Canadian culture, or be asked if you’re some sort of idiot.

  7. Jake says:

    What’s the deal with Boston leading the A.L. East in your pic? I’m very disappointed. Maybe you owed Bemmer one or something. I’ll have a blaster in your honor (not honour) tonight and if Jason Bay doesn’t sign with the M’s, I hope he saddles up in left for your Mets. Let me know if you can grab a beer while I’m down there for the Fiesta Bowl. Probably getting into Glendale sunday the 3rd and leaving tuesday the 5th. I’m staying at the Thunderbird Executive Inn on 59th. It’s on the campus of the Thunderbird School of Global Management so it should be pretty nice.

  8. jtbourne says:

    Jake, sickkkk. I’ll absolutely have time for (a?) beer. The Miller Lite cans are on ice. Get at me around then.

  9. garett says:

    I love that pic J-Bo!!! i will buy you a cold one for that! suck it jake..ha..prediction– that is how it will b at the end of next season..and i hope you 2 have a fantastic time at the fiesta bowl! dang wish i was there

  10. minnesotagirl71 says:

    Although it’s odd that Canada has it as it’s national “summer” sport – lacrosse (professional lacrosse anyway) is so fun to watch! As fast paced as hockey with checking, fighting, power plays, line changes on the fly and scores in the double digits. One game and I was hooked. I don’t know about Canada, but in MN lacrosse is growing like crazy with kids.

  11. jtbourne says:

    A fair point, minus one thing – its not fun to watch. For this reason:

    The person in possession has too much control of the ball, like basketball. Thus, you can set up minute-long plays that don’t end in any “OH!” or “awwww”. Just stupid, boring plays.

    I like lacrosse (playing it). But it just lacks… Something.

  12. ann says:

    I can’t stomach Jersey Shore. But it’s completely centered around punk New Yorkers that spend time there. Those people are part of the reason I can’t stand certain areas of the Shore. They are the stereotype of all the troublemakers at the Shore in the summer. Seems like the guy that punched the girl in the face needs to meet the fate of the guy in the video above it.

    I agree with minnesotagirl71. I used to go to a lot of Philadelphia Wings games (local NLL team). They were fun to watch for sure – hard hitting, some great scoring plays… I think indoor is much different than outdoor lacrosse, for exactly the reason you said Justin. Things develop much more quickly in indoor lacrosse because of the shot clock and smaller playing surface.

  13. Madeleine says:

    I’m guilty of being one of those reality watching TV girls (though I’m a Hills fan, not Jersey Shore). But FYI, MTV’s in Canada now, so we get all that shitty TV too.

    And lacrosse ain’t that bad!

  14. minnesotagirl71 says:

    Professional lacrosse has a shot clock. Team on offense has to hit the goalie or the net with in 30 seconds of taking possession or they turn it over. No time for standing around so almost every play ends with an attempted shot on goal.

  15. jtbourne says:

    A 30 second shot clock is an eternity. They set up like basketball (who gets 24 seconds)

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