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Teams, Trophies and Tenders



Let me plug you into my ever-so-nimble Tuesday brain.


Don't make me watch Kobasew! nooooOOO

Don't make me watch Kobasew! nooooOOO

1) I went to the Coyotes game last night, versus the Wild.  I Clockwork Oranged my eyeballs open as best as possible, but really, a 2-0 Monday night game against a piss-poor Wild team was a battle to endure.  Buuut, the Coyotes continue to look really sound defensively (Bryzgalov is ridiculous), so I’ll give my hard-done-by Coyote readership this – your boys will be looking at a tight “every point matters” six through 10 seed battle heading into the playoff push. 


2) It’s time to change the Hart Trophy from “Most Valuable Player” to “Best Year”.   Voting for “Most Valuable” misses the point, and clouds what most of us really want to judge.

Hart TrophyMost people are just debating who had the best season anyway – but there’s always a few people following the technicalities of the award title, which leaves people arguing about different things… which sucks crappy suckballs.  It ends up being a circular argument “yes, but without the waterboy, the guys would die of thirst, thus his value is…”  shut up.  I wonder if the NHL admits that the guy who had the best season won’t always win the award?

Also, it punishes players on good teams.  Maybe Joe Thornton scores 120 points this year, but the Sharks would still be a good squad without him, because they’re so deep.  Same with Chicago – are all their players ineligible?  Without Tavares, the Isles are probably teasing the basement again.  Maybe Matt Moulson doesn’t get a few big goals early that develop huge confidence.  Maybe John Tavares has the most value to his team.  But nobody’s giving him the Hart, are they?

Let’s just call it the “Best Year” award, and judge the best few offensive players against the best defensive and goaltenders, and give it to that guy.  Congrats.  You had the best year. 


With greatness, you too can achieve living in Michigan and Buffalo

With greatness, you too can achieve living in Michigan and Buffalo

3) There seems to be an inordinate amount of goaltender parity in the league these days.  You gotta believe, with only 60 NHL  jobs available, NHL scouts don’t have to try too hard to find quality goaltending.  Seems like every team has at least a “pretty good” goalie.  I mean, really, teams could just rummage through another teams trash to dig up a viable tender at this point.

This is why having one of the few real top-end elite guys, like Ryan Miller, makes such a huge difference.  What’s the Sabres record this year with Chris Osgood in net? (Sorry to pick on Chris, he’s a great guy, and had a great career.  But c’mon.  He’s in the home stretch now.) 


4) There’s a captainly duty that’s both hilarious and stressful.  I talked to a guy playing pro somewhere yesterday, and he had to go to deal with it.

"Who's calling??" "COACH?"

"Who's calling??" "COACH?"

Lets say the boys have a day off on Sunday, and played at home that Saturday night.  The guys are going out after the game.  You’re the captain, and thus, you’re expected to communicate well with coach.  You have three missed calls from coach on Sunday morning, you’re just waking up, and it’s 11 a.m.  You’re a bit foggy.  (Coach doesn’t call to “chat”, FYI.).  Someone is in trouble.

This is the captains job – you need to put out the fire (and make sure you’re not in it) before the truth gets back to coach, so it can be dealt with by the guys, and not made into a “lock the door” team-meeting crisis.  Clearly, something has happened.  Somebody did some dirt.  Did the bar kick a bunch of teammates out?  Is it something serious, like someone got a DUI?  Or is it something funny, like guys broke into the arena and “wrote their names” in the crease? 

The hidden captain’s job: Damage control (especially in college).


5) Some like, 19 year old dude at NYPD Pizza here in Phoenix, brought my fiance (27) her slice, put it down, and proceeded to give her a real fatherly ”there ya go sweetheart”… then walks away.

“Sweetheart” is reserved for a) A Grandfather to his grand-daughter  b) Father to daughter  c) A couple in love  or D) Trying to get punched by people who find you condescending.  He deserved a D+.  What is this, the ’50′s?  Slap her on the ass and give her a wink at least, pops.  Jeesh.


That’s all for Tuesday kiddo’s.  Closer to my birthday (and the huge donation you’ll be giving to the blog on it).  Closer to Christmas.  And most importantly, closer to my birthday.  …Did I mention that already?


11 Responses to “Teams, Trophies and Tenders”
  1. Will77 says:

    2) The “MVP” debate at least happens in every sport, where the whole best year vs most valuable always comes up. Every once in a while it does come together, like Mauer getting the MVP in baseball this year. I think guys like Crosby (saving a franchise certainly adds value) and Ovechkin are great examples of guys that fill both categories at least. Oh, and forget this whole renaming of the trophies I’ve read in a few places.

    3) I was thinking about this when the season started, I can’t remember any other time when there were this many good goalies in the league. Or even this many elite. I doesn’t seem like too long ago it was Hasek-Brodeur-Roy and then everyone else.

    4) Thats why we had a house in college that passed down through the hockey team for about 10years before I even got there… always safer to party with the boys in a house then out on the town… if only we managed to stay IN the house the whole night… damnit…

  2. Pete L says:

    Justin, Clockwork Orange as a verb–that is classic.!

    It may be worth a birthday donation. Isn’t your birthday coming up?

  3. Amy Jo says:

    Coyotes/Wild game ~ Oh. my. God. Even as a pretty damn rabid fan, I couldn’t get into the game last night. ZZzzzzzzz goal? Zzzzzzzz Jovo hit? Zzzzzz fight after the horn? Could the Wild’s name possibly be less ironic because they are the least wild team ever? Minnesota Mild?

    Anyways, you love us! You really love us! Thanks for tossing us that meager bone slick.

    MVP ~ Best year is so bland. Who wants to win that? Can’t we name it like the Studdy McStuderton?

  4. jtbourne says:

    Hey, you could still name it something sweet, just give it out for the right thing. Get it sponsored even, who cares?
    It could be the Internation House of Awesome award, by IHOP. I mean, the NHL needs some dough. Hell, I’ll even sponsor the Lady Bing and re-name it, just to take the sting out of winning the sportsmanship award. “Really, LADY is in the title? Was that a necessary barb?” It can be the Bourne’s Reasonable Non-Idiot Award For Hockey-Minded Players.

  5. Goody says:

    FWIW, prior to last night, the “MILD” have earned points in 8 of the previous 10 games. Only two of those points being “loser points” (won 6 of the 10). In that time, they scored 34 goals and gave up 31.

    PHX on the other hand earned points in 9 of the previous 10 games. Only one of the points was a “loser point” (won 8 of 10). In that time, they scored 28 goals and gave up 18.

    One might argue that the snooze fest presented last night was a result of two somewhat evenly matched teams meeting on a Monday night.

    Justin, any thoughts on the hit Jovanovski (PHX) put on Ebbett (MIN) last night? I have not seen any video, but accounts I have read seem to indicate he left his feet to deliver both forearms to the head of Ebbett? How did it look to you?

  6. Char says:

    Does this mean I can’t call you sweetheart, Justin? ::is sad::

  7. St. Cloud Gopher says:

    Minnesota hockey:
    Richards has wrong team for right system.
    Lucia has right team for…2012.
    St. Cloud has best talent in years, but its coach is apparently coming off of the dreaded “contract-extension-means-I-try less” problem usually reserved for players.
    Duluth, well, at least they try.
    Mankato will make a run. Some year. Maybe.
    Bemidji? Yeah, the Beavs are the high point of Minn. puck. Bemidji.

  8. minnesotagirl71 says:

    I saw the hit from close to ice level. Left his feet and forearms to the face looked bad! Wild were lacking energy. Should be hell to pay when these teams next meet.

  9. Lowsie says:

    YESSSS, I forgot about that picture. Char looks amazing in that dress

  10. pat says:

    OK Ok HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!

  11. mattycakes says:

    I just want to hear the story behind the picture in what looks like a guy wearing… a tutu?

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