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Topic Tourette's

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This “having a life” thing is making finding blog time more difficult, and I miss it.  I don’t however, miss being unable to eat or talk, so I guess you win some you lose some.  Here’s today’s brain overflow:

Veggie Tray:  The obvious solution to the snack-fattery that has been my face.  Where was that recommendation, people?  Exercise?  You’re no help.

My fellow ESPN viewers:  Who the hell is this beady-eyed egghead John Clayton, and why do we let him speak about football?  I’m fairly certain he was last picked in flag football, never picked for a prom date, and picked as most-likely-to-drop-any-object-thrown-to-him, just now by me.  Don’t you need some sports playing background to gain a little credibility?  Like, even wallyball?  I want Chris Berman to go high-school-bully on this guy, bonk him on the head and take his lunch money.

Two things I enjoyed yesterday:  Sauntering around downtown yesterday, Bri and I passed three outdoor skating rinks (Rockefeller Center, South Street Seaport, and Central Park, below).  I’ve come up with a great idea for American’s who are sick of getting beat by Canada at hockey: GIVE THOSE KIDS STICKS.  Man.  They’re out there going NASCAR on that sheet of ice anyways, chuck em some lumber and make use of those horse apples in Central Park.

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Other neat sight:  It seems a hundred years ago when people paid tribute to God, they did it in the largest, scariest,  most awe-inspiring way possible (don’t skip on the grandeur).  I can’t fathom the time, effort and money that must have gone into some of the intense rockwork, sculptures and stained glass windows.  I fail to see the connection between gargoyles and God, but then, I blog about puppies and snuggies, so I’m gonna let a topic like that pass.  St. Pat’s Cathedral, taken by Bri:

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Why isn’t the E-Trade baby getting old yet (not literally)?  He just keeps hitting home runs:

Great quote: “I’ll tell you what I like about Chinese people.  They’re hanging in there with the chopsticks, aren’t they? You know they’ve seen the fork.  They’re staying with the sticks.  I don’t know how they missed it.  Chinese farmer gets up, works in the field with a shovel all day… Shovel.  Spoon.  Come on.  You’re not plowing 40 acres with a couple of pool cues.”       – A classic Jerry Seinfeld gem

For those of you cheering for the Isles to lose so you can get the number one overall pick:  Stop it, you’re killing us.  You know how this stuff works.  You root for them to lose, they’ll win.  Every game for the rest of the year, they will win.  We’ll end up picking Hachminev Albastor from Lithuania in the 44th round if you keep this up.  Cheer for your team like a good fan, and things will take care of themselves.

Fact:  Bri found the first two gray hairs of my life.  Nothing turns chicks on like the overlapping years of gray hair and acne.  Double threat guy…

That’ll be all today!  My seven-part series on the life off a hockey player is underway, and will run on Max Hockey.com, a piece at a time over the next month or so.  I’m open to suggestions for my next blog on The Hockey News.com if you have something you’d like to read about.  I have a planner full of ideas, and just need to pick the right one.  So I’d love more ideas, or simply your input:

[polldaddy poll=1460421]

Comments

6 Responses to “Topic Tourette's”
  1. Miller Time! says:

    I love the comments on John Clayton. You hit the nail right on the head! I’ve never quite understood how this man got his position in Football, of all sports! I can’t even hear him speak without my brain thinking about how he looks like the gay teacher on south park. As soon as I opened your column and saw his face I already started laughing as I knew what was about to come. P.S I can’t wait till you come home for a bit, mabey we will get away from the New York topic for awile! Don’t forget your roots!

  2. Hockeyman says:

    I’ve always called John Clayton Beetlejuice. Little teeny tiny head on a large body.

    And I will never cheer for the Isles to finish last. EVER. Who wants to hear the crap from the Rangers fans anyway. I root for the Isles to win and the Rag$ to lose. Every game.

  3. Travelchic59 says:

    You are cracking me up with the Joe Tourist thing. j/k Glad to see your enjoying all the sights in the City. Nice pic of you and Briana.

    And I’m with Hockeyman – I NEVER EVER root against my NY Isles (or my other teams for that matter – Mets/Jets). I don’t care what’s at stake. I want my team to WIN!

  4. sullyfan says:

    LOVE your blogs! Glad someone else has the same issues I do – a brain full of ideas and not enough time to write about them.

    And thank you for dispelling the rumor that rooting AGAINST your team actually works! I’ve always thought that was the stupidest thing on the planet, but the fans here in Los Angeles get diseased with it more than I’d like. You’re on the right side of that argument.

  5. Andrea says:

    I got a chance to watch Peter Mannino when he was in Utah for conditioning….what a pleasure. I’m a Hawks fan, so it was tough to root for them AND him.
    Keep up the good work, I love your blog!

  6. JZ says:

    1) Jerry’s bit about the chopsticks is one of my favorites.

    2) Ditto to the other comments about how rooting against one’s favorite team is stupid. Ordinarily that’s the case, but I think it’s especially true in this situation where the Nassau County politicians are looking for any excuse to stick it to Mr. Wang & the team. “Why should we bother to keep the team here? Your fans don’t even want you to win!”

    3) I voted for blogginess about surviving a locker room. Having been the only girl on a boys’ team in high school I find this topic fascinating/frightening.

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