Thursday at The Masters
Posted by jtbourne on April 9, 2009 · 15 Comments
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The Masters came roaring out of the gates with one of the best hokey montages ever. And just like Pacino’s speech in Any Given Sunday, I was at peak intensity by the end (by peak intensity, I mean slumped on the couch with one slipper on). Whatever, I love them.
The first one ended with a close up of a bee on a flower, falling over backwards and pumping his wings to no avail. What kind of camera’s are these guys using? Are the filmmakers of Planet Earth covering The Masters? Do they dye that grass green?
I defy you to name me one single thing better to couch-nap to than golf in HD. It’s tough to stay conscious as an avid fan. I swear to God if Morgan Freeman or David Attenborough were commentators we could cure insomnia.
Plus, I liked one other thing: They played golf.
Thoughts:
1. Canadian boy and defending champ Mike Weir shot an opening day 68 (-4). TV ratings in Canada just tripled.
2. A huge reason to watch The Masters: Their commitment to their viewers. They guarantee 56 minutes out of every hour to be golf coverage. A mere four minutes of advertising an hour. Do you have any idea what the ratio is on other programs? American idol is actually eight minutes long. This might be one of the greatest hidden secrets of this tournament.
3. Good weather always gives lessers underdogs a chance to contend. It could rain ninja’s and Tiger would still break par, but the second it’s a happy spring day, Average Andy, No-chance Nick and Chad Campbell have the chance to win a major.
4. Watching Chad Campbell eat that course for breakfast for 16 holes was incredible, because it never looked like he played a tough hole. There’s always that hole that they cut to with a scoring average of 11.46, but for some reason Campbell never seemed to have to play it; it just looked easy (you know, easy like making nine birdies in 15 holes is at a major).
-PS, he’s in the running for “Person’s head I could most likely roll a strike with”-
But man, did Campbell (and Mahan) get eaten alive by 17 and 18, not because they’re super tough holes, but because Masters pressure is some ever-present, eerie force that steals dreams.
Also, Chad Campbell is about as fun as porridge, and there should be some rule about penalty strokes for bad interviews.
5. Attire: Okay, I get it. Young guys on the tour are wearing crazy pants now (“look, it’s golf – with an attitude!”). But Zach Johnson wearing the neon red pants? I appreciate the effort from the guy, who generally makes Campbell look like a firecracker, but lets use a little discretion, it’s the classiest tournament of the year.
And, excuse the language, but here’s what my day one diary reads, verbatim, on Aaron Baddely:
Baddely – Nice hair, fuck. Really emo bud.
I’m probably going to comment daily on Tigers digs too, because the concept of a company dressing someone boggles me. Didn’t care for the purple striped-blue sleeved-black shirt Nike selected for Le Tigre on Thursday. However, I will say his biceps are getting increasingly mammoth, toned and intimidating. No homo.
6. Tiger doesn’t compound errors like other players. For example, he hits his drive in the pine straw on the back nine, whenever it was, and procedes to hit a low hook off a mountain of horse hay to 10 feet. Kinda lets you take some risks when you’ve got that in your bag.
7. I’m bummed that Phil and Sergio are +1. Not that I want them to win, but for drama sake, you want all the main cast members in the final scene. Furyk is a legit threat though. Don’t be suprised to see him hanging around with late weekend tee times.
8. The course got shredded. Most rounds below par (37) in an opening round since ’92 (35), when the course was hundreds of yards shorter with wider fairways.
9. Sadly, “get-in-the-hole!”-guy managed to make it to this years Masters, an event that is usually spared this low-brow frat-boy Coors-Light induced buffoonery. Thank goodness Faldo set him straight. “Oh please, not at Augusta”. So eloquent.
I really wanted to do a live blog thingy, but I don’t have wireless near the good TV set-up, so for now, this will be the type of coverage to expect. What else to expect? Expect a -3 under 69 from the always lurking Woods, while a number of one-day-wonders pack their balls up and vanish from site. The leader will be around nine under heading into the weekend, well within striking distance of the greatest pressure player of all-time.
Last note: Don’t worry hockey fans, The Masters ends the same day the NHL regular season does, and this will be a full on playoffs blog. Round predictions to follow. Early forecast – Isles in six… years?
I'm a hockey player turned writer. After playing for Alaska Anchorage in the WCHA (NCAA), I carried on with an NHL tryout (New York Islanders in 2007) before spending a couple seasons in the AHL/ECHL (last year was 2008-09). My father, Bob Bourne, won four Stanley Cups with the Islanders in the '80's, as did my fiancee's dad, Clark Gillies. I'm now the web editor for theScore's hockey blog "Backhand Shelf."
I suck at golf and I don’t watch it much (although I had a fantastic HD golf-inspired nap this afternoon) but I enjoy your golf blogs. It kinda gives me simple things to watch for to try and get into it, I wonder if this means you’d be a good colour guy…?
Your various blogs/articles are my new guilty pleasure. Would love to hear your take via blog on Max or THN about who makes the Show and why? You’ve experienced play at every level of hockey and must have some great insight/opinions. Is it all about skill, is it about size, are there politics involved? Perhaps all of the above? Are there players in NHL who you can’t believe are there? Are there players in AHL who you can’t believe are not in NHL? If we have two guys of equal talent, why does one make the Show and the other not?
Do you know the Brooklyn Aces? They are in the new Eastern Professional Hockey League. It is equiv of Single-A baseball. Next stop up for Aces players is Utah Grizzlies. I think several players got called up this year. I don’t think any of those call-ups parlayed into AHL.
Here is the thing though, the pace of play in EPHL seems fast as all hell. I had been to a Ranger game the week before and sat very close, and I would say the pace at Aces game seemed faster than NHL. I once had a few beers with a guy who had been a ref in both NHL and AHL, and he said AHL was faster pace because the guys are smaller on average and can move more quickly. EPHL players are even smaller than AHL players, so if the ref’s theory holds, the pace there would be even faster there. Would love to hear your take on this.
Sorry to post this as reply to your golf blog, but I had to put it somewhere. Keep up the great work!
Ok I admit it last night I watched the 1/2 hour Masters recap @11:35 and your right it did help me sleep(I love my Sony HD). I needed that after watching Bruins/Canadians game . NOW that was a real hockey game !!!! Real hockey fights ( just one real cheap shot yes by a Bruin) and some great hockey skills on display…Hey arent you supposed to be Working at the Hockey camp? So when can we expect your hockey picks?
I might leave you for Trevor Immelman and his baby blues.. just fyi. ly <3
I love golf. I love golf in HD even more. I was at Bay Hill 2 weeks ago and that was even better because you actually don’t nap. Until you’re wasted that is. I play golf ok in real life. But the damn piano will put me to sleep faster than Nascar in HD. Yup, Nascar will produce naps faster than golf. Why the hell do the announcers whisper during a putt? They are in an effing studio FAR AWAY from the actual golf being played. They could talk the entire time and it would bother no players except maybe the ones on the driving range. “Get-in-the-hole” guy needs to get shot. I feel sorry for anyone who sits next to him. Imagine being stuck near him at a hockey game too. I bet he’s so inventive that he shouts “get-in-the-net” every time someone takes a shot. Something tells me this is the guy they film for infomercials. You know, the bumbling fools who can’t do simple tasks and therefore NEED the product being sold?
Go Tiger.
John, that was a whole bunch of legitimate questions, and I think I have a lot of answers for you. I will, in fact, save most of them for an article, but I can tell you a couple things here quick:
There are a host of reasons players do and don’t make it, and yes, there are players I can’t believe did, and ones that I’m shocked haven’t yet. I’ll expand on that later.
The AHL isn’t faster than the NHL, the NHL is more controlled. This is probably why the EPHL seemed fast to you; it’s more chaotic, more errors, turnovers and chances because players are out of position and making worse decisions.
I’ll be sure to get back to hockey here post weekend, once we’re done with the golf!
The Bruins/Canadiens game was the first one I’d seen in a highlight package since I was back home and it got me FIRED UP for hockey. I’m super excited for playoffs now, can’t wait!
NASCAR? NASCAR. Better that golf for napping? Come on bud. If you can nap at all to roaring cars, it’s just pure hypnosis from watching repetitve lefts for 2 hours. Man I hate NASCAR.
Ha, I dunno. I did colour in Idaho when I was hurt (knee, not jaw… great year), and did okay. My uncle is pushing me into doing a few video blogs to show I’m capable of stringing sentences into coherent points in real time.
I would too. Plus he has a cool accent and is rich. I’ve got… a blo..g…
My favourite part of the whole NHL season is coming up soon..(even more exciting this year since my team is actually in the running.) Certainly am looking forward to the playoff blogs!!
Here’s hopin for another epic Habs-Bruins 1st seed vs. 8th seed series! Looked like the Bruins thought last night was the real game 1.
A friend on facebook picked their 5 favourite athletes the other day and three were NASCAR drivers…. I don’t like figure skating, but I get it. Dancing with the Stars, ridiculous, but I get it. The overwhelming popularity of wrestling and NASCAR is something I am not making much progress on.
After the front nine today it really looked like my dreams had come true and Phil was going to miss the cut….Love how Garcia turned it on, after Tiger he’s the one guy I would pay to watch play…Couch napping to Blue Jays Baseball or Grand Slam Tennis does it for me
Might be doing more sleeping than watching this year… little concerned about off-season changes to the Jays rotation. Oh, and concerned about the ones the damn Yankees made.
Heyyy!
First of all- LOVE your blog… you’re hilarious… i maay or may not check it daily to see what you have to say.. hah
Second of all- you mentioned a while back either here or in another blog/article you may have written about the adrenaline and what have you before a game and this is why the guys are soo figity before the puck drops.. wellll i go to UMass-Amherst (hockey east power house! hahah not really) and a few of the guys go to the church i go to and there is this one who is super super figity.. and just curious if u thought thiiss was a hockey/athlete thiing or just straight up ADHD kicking in.. hahah