A Brief Thought on Knuckles
Posted by jtbourne on October 6, 2009 · 15 Comments
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It’s too bad you can’t up and punch people anymore.
"Hahaha, guys, did you see? I toootally rubbed our win in that guys face!"
In our society, things have changed, and largely for the better. You can’t smoke in bars, we recycle more, and we’re more tolerant of alternative lifestyles.
But you just can’t hit a dude. And for the most part, that’s too bad.
I can kinda see what’s happened in the NHL happening in real life. Back when my dad and dad-to-be played in the league, there was a lot less spearing, high-sticking and mouth-running, because you couldn’t get to the “uck” part of the phrase that ends in “you” without taking your first bite of knuckle sandwich. Guys were held accountable, so they were less likely to flap their gums just to look tough.
Now, the league protects so heavily against guys getting randomly popped, that players spend time after every other whistle getting through a lot more than just ”f*** you” (which is still a clever, intelligent thing to say), because they never have to physically back it up.
And that’s on the ice.
Off the ice, you can’t hit anyone ever. I think you have to file paperwork at City Hall if two people agree they wanna scrap. Here’s where I’m going with this:
This is what you get by Googling "club promoter". The law protects these guys from being hit, why?
Why does anyone care that Braylon Edwards might have popped a “club promoter” (Lebron Jame’s friend) at 2:30 a.m?
Club promoters are the exact type of people that we need to taste a few flavours of knuckle on a nightly basis anyway. A guy gets drunk at a club and punches the promoter… and we’re calling that “an alleged assault”? Can we not devalue the phrase “assault” so much? That’s an alleged “straightening out of the food chain”, isn’t it?
Lebron is saying that his club promoter friend is “like 130 pounds, it’d be like hitting someones little brother”. Okay – if you’re 130 pounds, don’t run your mouth to a professional football player, right? Just a thought.
*****
As my Facebook status mentioned yesterday, I’m dropping more columns than a bomb at the Parthenon today. (Still only me that thinks thats funny? My bad). The following are links to those pieces:
USA Today – A New Season Begins
The Hockey News – Life After Hockey
I'm a hockey player turned writer. After playing for Alaska Anchorage in the WCHA (NCAA), I carried on with an NHL tryout (New York Islanders in 2007) before spending a couple seasons in the AHL/ECHL (last year was 2008-09). My father, Bob Bourne, won four Stanley Cups with the Islanders in the '80's, as did my fiancee's dad, Clark Gillies. I'm now the web editor for theScore's hockey blog "Backhand Shelf."
Great article on the hockey news really enjoyed it, after getting the last cut at tryouts in second year bantam its given me something to think about, And by the way the end sentence was all true.
Justin, that article on the hockey news was awesome! I bet you there are a ton of guys (and girls) that can relate to that…even if its just playing a sport into college. I live in Minnesota (buy from massachusetts) and met some former hockey players this past weekend and there is just something in the tone of their voices that change when talking about not playing hockey anymore. its sad really. but either way I really enjoyed the article!
JB, what is your take on the whole goalie as captain situation in Van City? I think it’s legit in the sense that Luongo is probably the most respected, most likely-to-be-listened to guy in that room, but beyond that I don’t know how much leadership he can provide. A big save could get the boys going I suppose, but it’s not like he can go out there and lay a big hit or get in a scrap after a couple quick goals by the other team. In that sense, there is little he can do to control the timing of his leadership, which is so important. Furthermore, what about a game in which he is pulled? It’s hard as a player to draw inspiration from a recently tugged tender, let alone for that goalie to be in a mental state condusive to providing valuable leadership. I’m interested to hear your opinion.
Once again Justin, great articles. I have recently been dealing with that “what do I want to do when I grow up question” (let’s just say your former linemate Nick Lowe might be facing similar questions in 15 or so years). It is a difficult question, especially if you are coming from career that is very structured with respect to how your time is allocated and if you feel “guilt” for taking time off and having fun rather than spending that extra time trying to improve yourself at your given career.
As for the “start of the season” USA Today article, it is a nice reminder of what the crisp autumn weather (ok, in the south/southwest temps in the upper 80′s, rather than upper 90′s
) and a clean sheet of ice mean, no matter what level of hockey you play. Maybe as a kid, this is the year you make the travel team, or if you are quite a bit older, maybe this is the year you lead your beer league in goals, or that your rec league team doesn’t finish last in the division.
Sometime in the 90′s USA Hockey had a contest or slogan, something to the effect of “what would you write on a clean sheet of ice”. Your article reminded me of that… the possibilities are endless.
I thoroughly believe hitting has its place, but the problem you run into is then you got people punching other people more than they should and for no reason. Ultimately, we need some kind of standardized test to see if someone DESERVES to get punched. Then, if they’ve met the necessary requirements, they can be punched.
A checklist could do it:
Fake tan? Check.
Sideways hat? Check.
T-shirt that costs more than 80 bucks? Check.
Makes the Zoolander face in pictures without any sense of irony? Check.
Called me bro? Punch.
See the thing I find is most reasonable people aren’t really at all against punching if they think the guy had it coming. One time I punched a guy I work with (well, it was an elbow but it did the trick) but it was unanimously agreed he deserved it. It did nothing but help my career. We just need to make sure we only hit the people that deserve it.
Maybe the problem therein is that everybody deserves to be punched once in a while.
Hey, on a side note, can you do a post on what exactly is said during the trash talking and face washing? I realize it’ll be (heavily) censored, and I can take a guess at what they’re saying, but what are some of the best things you’ve ever heard? Did you have canned phrased you’d go to? All I have to go on is this video, which frankly makes me wish I could always hear what players were saying because it’s absolutely fantastic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0KPHqU-K00
JBrown: I like this one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1angy_kjuk
Also notice the monster linesman moving bodies. Big Mike Civik. I think he only does games on the west coast, I’m not sure how their schedule works.
On the topic of punching, I see that everyones favorite ferret is leading the face punch poll.
If I’m losing that vote to Glen Beck……..I’m punching MYSELF in the face!!
jbrown, your list is missing anyone wearing Brut 33!
Isn’t paying a cover at a nightclub like signing a waiver saying yes, I know and willingly accept the fact that I can, and most likely will, have some droopy-jean, side-hatter throw his thumb ring at my face!
How about your top ten hockey fights JT?
Pretty funny… Braylon Edwards just got traded to the Jets. I forget where you’re football loyalty is JT, personally I’m a Jet fan. Liking him as our deep threat.
Yep… excited to have him (I’m Jets too). My only thought other than the positive stuff was “wait… he was getting in too much trouble in CLEVELAND, so the Jets brought him to New York? Hmm.”
Interesting story, Julian: I was cut second year bantam too. We had an “A Rep” team, a “B Rep” team, and a “house team” that only practiced/played once a week. After making the “B” team my first year Bantam, I got cut to “house” the second year. I’ve been meaning to write about this, actually. I’ll get around to it… I only made the “A Rep” team in Midget the next year because there weren’t enough kids in my town still playing at that age (I was captain the next year). Don’t give up!
Seems kinda silly, right? I have no problem with goalies being allowed to be captain, but all goalies lead in the same way: by playing solid. If they choose to talk in the room, and lead that way, they don’t need the “C” to do that. You can talk all you like in there. The “C” is supposed to give special privileges with the ref – other than that, the actual, physical having of the letter “C” is meaningless. And, it’s not like Luongo is skating to the refs circle to argue penalties and relay messages from coach. So in the end, I’d say “fine that he’s allowed to have it, stupid that he does”.
Nice work on both pieces Justin – especially the one for the Hockey News. Time heals and you’ll be better able to embrace the game again given some time. And you’re doing a great job with the writing gig even in its relative infancy. Looking forward to plenty more of that from you.
Thanks man I wasn’t planning to try out next year but ill give it a try now but at least i’m still the first call up, by the way keep up the good work as always!
Thanks Koharski. That was gold.
Justin,
I just found out about your writing through Point Blank’s Chris Botta. I’m glad that he gave you to us! I remember hearing something about you earlier, maybe in the summer where Chris also spoke of some story about you and Bill Guerin and buying dinner or sharing a burger or whatnot. Anyway, Great stuff. I love all your articles that I’ve caught up with so far. Please keep it coming. Maybe you can write something about the travel and the phone calls and such when you’re living the life of those 2-way contracts? By the way…is Gillies a cool cat? How did you guys hook up, you and Brianna. Long Island (Commack) here and out!
Mike.