The Tapas Meal of Blogs
Posted by jtbourne on October 2, 2009 · 16 Comments
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Just like my high school locker used to get so jammed that I’d eventually have to do something about it (in which case I’d almost always track down a slice of mystery meat or a piece of well-aged fruit), it’s time to clean out my “to blog about files”. I’ll keep each thought as short as possible, and promise to discard the molding orange-esque ideas I jotted down while drinking because “it seemed like a good idea at the time”. Enjoy.
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My thoughts on the start of the new NHL season will run in the USA Today on Tuesday (and online), so hold your horses on that. We’re talking about other stuff today (though I will say – retro-ish Flames jerseys? Those were sick). If you do want to read a piece of real hockey writing I’ve done, my article on the Coyotes struggles in Phoenix ran in the Arizona Republic today, and you can find that here. (Good chance you’ll get a kick out of reader response on that gem).
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The king of overtime winners
A kind word: Congratualtions to Joe Sakic, the consummate professional, the sneaky scorer, and the future hall-of-famer. Joe was my favourite player growing up (especially after Lemieux retired… Dad, you were okay too), and the guy did everything the right way. The images of him scorching the Americans in the 2002 gold medal game are forever burned into my memory-machine (low blocker to make if 5-2 was vintage Burnaby Joe). I hope he finds happiness after his playing days, he deserves it.
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Great Seinfeld line - “If I’m the best man, why’s she marrying him?”
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Occasionally, I’ll leave the TV on and forget about it. When I come back and realize the show has switched to something mind-numbing like NASCAR (see also: poker, leagues that start with W, games that end in “occer”), I panic and run to the remote to hit the nearest button, for one main reason: I’m afraid I’m giving that show additional ratings that might make them show that “sport” more. Please, please don’t put more of that on TV…
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Anyone else feel like Crosby winning the Cup saved us years upon years of bitter interviews, like the ones Mickelson used to give before he ever won a major? Like, there would always be that seething undertone of “F you, I’m trying”, until he actually won? I think winning a cup early is gonna be great for his long-term likability.
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From what I can tell, dealing with a dentist in the US is a little like dealing with a used-car salesman. It’s so different than Canada. Both times I’ve gone here they try to up-sell me to the point of taking swipes at my oh-so-sensitive feelings. Before installing the crown on my front tooth: ”Do you want us to put it in crooked like your teeth are now, or why don’t we just take out your other front tooth so we can put them both in straight. It’s only another $1200.” Oh is that all? Fak. I thought they were straight.
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Every fan who actually watches football has taken their turn verbally abusing the “prevent” defense the second their team is trying to stop a last-minute drive (or “pree-vent”, as I hear so often in the US of A). I just don’t get it. Teams go the whole game, get in a position to win, then decide that the only part of the field they want to leave open is a 15-20 yard pass. Oh, is that all? Smart defensive scheme, Lebeau. Four of those, field goal. Yeah that prevented a lot.
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I lived in Alaska for four years, home of the conceal and carry (as in, you can legally conceal and carry a registered gun on your person. Lord knows who’s carrying one). Thanks to local legislation (sidebar – is it weird that John McCain is still relevant here? He’s the frickin’ Senator from this state), you’re now allowed to carry guns into bars in Arizona too. And good thing. How else were drunk people going to kill the people that they hate?
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Steve Shutt, on relationships: “Women wish their man would change, and men wish their woman wouldn’t. It’s the fundamental problem in every relationship”. He’s been with his wife for about 50 years or so.
Thank god for polarized lenses
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Tiger Woods won the Fedex Cup, and the 10 million dollars that goes along with that, putting him over the BILLION DOLLAR MARK in career earnings (with endorsements). Maybe he’ll spend some of it to get his teeth de-whitened. It’s like staring at a solar flare.
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Overtalkers, too much information people, you just aren’t welcome in my world. People who answer un-asked questions drive me banana’s, and deserve a lecture. Never, in any social setting, should “My sister is moving to Boise tomorrow” come out of your mouth if the person you’re saying it to DOESN’T EVEN KNOW YOU HAVE A SISTER.
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I’ve always been an avid “Get Fuzzy” fan (newspaper cartoon), but a new one is making a push for my heart - Pearls Before Swine. It’s really funny and dry, with the sort of jokes that end with a period and a straight face.
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The Phoenix Mercury are in the WNBA finals – and I recently had to change my article from saying the Coyotes have ”the star power of the WNBA” to “the star power of an indie film” because the Mercury are getting almost 10,000 people to their games in the finals. I was shocked, til I heard the reason: Their coach, Steve Kerr (go ahead, say it: Steve Kerr is their coach?), apparently bought SEVEN THOUSAND OF THEM and gave them away.
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I’m guilty of this, but it’s still a good point: Why does saying ”having said that” void what you’ve previously said? “Michael Vick is a criminal who’s made poor decisions, blown his money, killed countless animals and has no respect for anything – having said that, I think he’s probably a pretty good guy”. No. You did say that, so the last part of your sentence obviously needs a quick re-evaluation.
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Has anyone ever said “When I first started in this business, my goal was to…” and finished it with an honest phrase? There’s not a person on the planet who started a business to “make a pizza with all sustainable ingredients” or “to help people borrow money with comfort and trust”. Businesses get started to make money. “When I first started in this business, my goal was to not go tits-up in the first eight weeks”. THAT, I believe.
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Phew. Felt good to get all that off my chest. Hope you enjoyed it, and hope you’re enjoying the start of the NHL season. Don’t worry, my fantasy hockey team is already on the road to greatness!
I'm a hockey player turned writer. After playing for Alaska Anchorage in the WCHA (NCAA), I carried on with an NHL tryout (New York Islanders in 2007) before spending a couple seasons in the AHL/ECHL (last year was 2008-09). My father, Bob Bourne, won four Stanley Cups with the Islanders in the '80's, as did my fiancee's dad, Clark Gillies. I'm now the web editor for theScore's hockey blog "Backhand Shelf."
When I first started in this business of leaving blog comments, my goal was to look like a know-it-all douchenozzle. Having said that, I think I succeed quite admirably.
Oh, and your AZCentral/Republic commentary kicked ass. If it didn’t mean forcing you to watch bad hockey and be the idol of a small but extremely passionate knot of Coyotes fans for the better part of a year, I’d totally recommend you as Jim Gintonio’s replacement. (Full disclosure: I actually applied for a job with the Republic as a writer, but – and you’re going to love this – it was for a position on their auto racing beat. Considering that they shut down that beat in favor of AP/Reuters feeds, I think I dodged a nice layoff bullet there.)
Lastly: Discovered a new Junior A team starting up in Peoria called the Arizona RedHawks. More hockey less than five miles from my house? Bliss – and it’ll still be there if the Mutts move.
Pearls Before Swine is my favorite. I actually have a couple older strips on my wall next to my desk at work – for when I need a laugh here…
As a boston fan I am NOT enjoying the start of the hockey season…buut to their defense…hmmm i dont know… i got nothing… ovechkin maybe? hmmm
Sakic is a legend. He is one of those few guys who, even though you weren’t a huge fan of them during their career, it is IMPOSSIBLE not to respect as a player and a person. The man is pure class, and as good an ambassador the game of hockey could ever have. He still visits SW Sask. (his wife is from Swift Current) every summer, and accomodates every autograph/conversation seeker when he’s out with his family. I’ll always remember how he passed Bourque the Cup in ’01 before he lifted it himself – just one example of the humility he possessed.
Is Arizona over-populated? That’s the only reasoning I can think of that would justify such an asinine piece of legislation.
I still want to steal that street sign for Joe Sakic Way.
I think the gun/bar bill is meant to eliminate all of the hockey fans in Arizona once the Coyotes move – they’ll all get plastered out of grief and then shoot each other to death. Problem solved.
Well, except that I don’t drink, don’t carry a gun, and don’t go to bars. TAKE THAT, ARIZONA LEGISLATURE!
You tell’em, Zyllyx. You tell the world.
Guns really freak me out, man. Like, I don’t care if you passed a background check and a psych exam, if you have a gun on you, you exponentially increase the odds of me being shot. I’m all for the right to own a gun but there is almost no legitimate reason a normal citizen would need to conceal a firearm. Real men use Machetes.
That comic is pretty clever, I’ve never seen it run here in NY though. My favorite is Perry Bible Fellowship, the most sardonic and clever strip ever written. Here are my two favorites, when I saw these, I found myself reading strip after strip for an hour.
http://pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF106-Billy_the_Bunny.jpg
http://www.inertia.fi/sotfx/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/pbf006bcballerinaslippers.jpg
Haha. Love that comment.
I love Get Fuzzy! I get my dad a desktop calendar each year for Christmas, he likes starting each morning with a dose of Bucky and Satchel. Satchel rules! I also love how they occasionally work in a hockey themed strip.
I totally agree on Joe Sakic. Classy guy, played the game right. Right up there with Stevie Y (and that is coming from someone who does not like the Red Wings). Nice article on the Coyotes and congrats on the USA Today gig. Given how bad the ‘yotes are, how much are they charging for tickets? Any interesting 6 or 10 game discount packs where you can pick the games/teams you want to see?
The Coyotes piece was great, Justin and some of the comments on it were hilarious….like the one that stated “Justin Bourne is just another know nothing Canadian. As everyone in Phoenix knows, Canadians know nothing about hockey and don’t deserve to have any NHL teams anyway!”
Whoever wrote that comment needs to go to an NHL game in, say, Calgary and see how much more the fans know/appreciate the game.
Justin, as you know all too well, we face the same challenge at UAA that Phoenix faces…..one of the big reasons I go to the UAA games is that it’s fun to watch WCHA hockey. For $20, I get to see guys play who in 2 years will be in the NHL where it will cost $150 for the same quality seats. I imagine most Phoenix attendance is made up of local people who enjoy NHL hockey in general at good price….or Canadians taking winter trips and seeing their teams play on road for a much cheaper price than tickets at home.
Thanks for the links Officer Koharski, those comics are hilarious
I enjoyed the reader comments in the Arizona Republic (as well as your article). What are they defending? Not much turnover from last year so the team is in no better position to be winning. Clearly they have watched too many reruns of the movie “Miracle”. I would put more money on Kansas City winning a World Series than Phoenix making playoffs.
Disagree on Crosby, JB. I’m more likely to believe that years of “F you, I’m trying” would do more to enhance his likability. As it stands now, there’s very little to sway the haters away from the crybaby reputation they’ve foisted on Crosby.
Then again, I’m one of the haters who is glad that his friend’s son was born just before Game 6 so he can say he was alive in the pre-Crosby-on-the-Cup era.
I really hope that when you say the Calgary Flames throwback jerseys are sick you mean that in the make me want to puke kind of sick and not the super freaking awesome kind of sick. Those jerseys are not impressive at all.
Like my dad always says, “Prevent defense prevents you from winning.”