New for USA Today: On the NHL’s All-Star draft, and I what I see it looking like (knowing the nature of hockey players)

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Maybe he was relevant in...what's his shirt say? '03?

The NHL All-Star game has hired an anthem singer.  They has hired Clay Aiken. 

Yes, seriously.  They has.

As my boy Greg Wyshynski pointed out, this isn’t horrific because of Clay’s sexuality (obviously), it’s because he’s horrible to listen to.  He’s just a glarlingly mismatched fit for the musical tastes of hockey fans, whether he’s from Carolina or not.  He hasn’t even been relevant in the music scene, since, well, ever.

So yeah, boo on that.

On the other hand, who really gives a shit, I guess. 

Let’s talk football, and shockingly, NOT the Jets! (HOW DO YOU CALL TWO PASS PLAYS WITH FOUR DOWNS FROM THE ONE???)

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Weighing in on Jay Cutler, and him sitting out the second half of the Bears/Packers game with an MCL tear:

Jay Cutler is getting abused pretty thoroughly, and getting defended just as adamantly on the internet today.  Most people think that he could have played, and therefore should have played after tearing his MCL in the NFC Championship game.

pout pout pout

In general, I would agree with that statement, especially when said game is either going to get you into the Superbowl or end your season.  As many atheletes have said, I myself played through some pretty brutal stuff, including games where I played on percaset and other unhealthy things.  I never missed a hockey game (ten years, I think?) until I tore my MCL (yes, it sucks), and then later got that slapper in the face.

But I also think this: Jay Cutler is not soft.  As someone pointed out today (I believe on Deadspin or The Big Lead, which heavily influenced my thoughts on this), he was sacked more than any other quarterback in the NFL this year (by TWELVE), and still played 15 of 16 games.  He’s not afraid to go out there and get murdered, including the game he got sacked NINE TIMES in the first half, and stayed in the game.

So the guy knows himself and what he can take.  (He’s certainly not afraid to stay in when he’s playing bad either, as evidenced by his love of multiple interception games.)

THROW IT HE'S COMINGGGG

But like when I tore my MCL, I knew I’d be less effective on the ice, combined with being in pain.  I could’ve hobbled around, been distracted, and been less effective, but at what point is a team just better off with a healthy, slightly lower on the depth chart guy?  Only Cutler knows how much less he would’ve been able to do than when he’s at 100%.

The big difference for me is, if I had to leave the game due to injury, I would immediately strap on the pom poms and try to help the boys out.  I’d love to put on a headset and help with reads, or just pick guys up when they’re down and stay involved with the team, with the game.

But the reality is, Jay Cutler has never done that, where I was inclined to do it even when healthy.  He’s never been a rah-rah guy.  So it’s not like he quit and packed it in for just that game, he’s just constantly that…..meh.

My hunch is that he made the right decision (the Bears did mount a little charge with Caleb Haine or whatever his name was), a legit decision that he thought would help the Bears more than if he stuck around and airmailed more picks all day (and ultimately, it is his call, not the doctors.  You can always bust out enough “I’m fine’s” and stay in).

It’s okay to point out as I have that others would’ve stayed in the game where Cutler didn’t, and maybe he could have , in fact, continued as the Bears QB in the biggest game of the year (also, his life).

But it’s also okay that Cutler probably made the decision that was best for the Bears, not his image.

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Last, because I denied you of Jiggs update pics pre-weekend…. here he is!

The good: he’s a good kitty, shares the litter box with Tyson well (who does the same), uses his scratching posts and all that good stuff.  Loves being around us, isn’t scared of anything. 

The bad: he’s got a little limp.  We’re not sure from what, but we’re monitoring it to make sure Ty doesn’t kick his ass so much throughout the day, which he sorta does (in fun).

mreow.

Tha boys.

Y’know what I don’t need when asking for directions?  Options.  “Well, you can either take the 40 to the 105, or you can just stay on 3rd street and take it up to -” NO.  I obviously don’t know WTF I’m doing, which is why I’m asking.  Narrow it down to one route for me and go with that set.  THANKS.

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Y’know what else is stupid?  When a bunch of people go out for dinner, the bill comes, and one or a few of the people don’t address it immediately.  It’s not that they don’t want to pay, they’re just not in any rush to deal with it.  The no-rush comes with a hint of “I’m so rich I could care less what the final number even is.” 

I sit there and stress out about the server coming back and looking to run cards or cash, and we haven’t addressed the situation.  WHY ARE YOU ALL SO CASUAL ABOUT THIS, THE BILL IS HERE!  {Also, don’t call it “the cheque”.  You pay bills, you get paid with a cheque.} *nothing to do with this past weekend Char, it’s a saved note in my phone

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I recently met Fred Couples ex-girlfriend (who had apparently just installed FJ’s, by the way.  …As in, fake jammers).  Freddy’s been my favourite golfer for as long as I can remember, but I’m a little weirded out by how he was living – at her house, with her roommates.  Hardly the palatial situation I saw for Freddy, his money, his smooth swing and his flowing hair.

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I busted out a column for USA Today on how being a free agent is like a choose your own adventure novel.  Spoiler: I didn’t finish the novel without failing the first time.

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I like that baseball’s All-Star Game means something.  All fans of other sports (hi, hockey fans) do is complain about their sport’s ASG, so it’s nice that there’s some relevance in one sport.  I don’t necessarily want to take away from the team with the best record, but surely there’s some reward we can give the NHL conference that wins.  Last change in game one?  A designated hitter that gets to roam the ice?  Extra ice girls?  Just something.

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Puck Daddy Live Chat at 1 PM EST, lets do dis like Brutus.  Puck Daddy

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It’s almost time for the British Open!  I’m pumped – I’ll actually be around the place this weekend, and my good ‘ol DVR machine is gonna let me watch Tiger’s triumphant return to glory (yes, I just predicted he’ll win).  It’s too bad golf’s majors get less interesting as the year goes on (okay, the first two are probably tied), but at least there’s always the, um… Fedex Cup?  Boo.

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So far in the “easier to get a passport in Canada or the US” debate, the US is wayyyy out in front.  Chill, Canada, it’s just me, Justin.

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Okay, I’ve gotta go chat with the boys at PD!  What’s up in the hockey world that we can discuss today?

A couple weeks back in late April, my lovely mother was in Phoenix with two of her girlfriends.  (My parents just got a place down here last year, which was how Bri and I came to visit and say “hmm, wanna live here?”)

After a busy day followed by dinner at our place, the call came.

Somewhere in Mom’s travels that day – her place, mall hopping, lunch out, dinner here – the diamond had come out of her ring. 

I scoured our house, and especially the pool area, where we had eaten our classy feast of pizza and wine.  It wasn’t a huge diamond or anything, but combining sentimental value you with a few thousand dollars of actual value make it crisis worthy.  And we never found it.  It could’ve been anywhere in Phoenix.

So yesterday, my allergies are killing me.  I can’t breathe.  I figure I might be able to clear my sinuses by heading to the steam room at my complex.  I turn the steam room on, and decided to um, have a sit-down in a nearby bathroom stall to have a little me time.  After a few seconds, I see a shard of glass.  But wait, that’s a sparkly shard of…. there, 200 yards and two weeks later, was her freaking diamond.

No idea how it could have feasibly ended up that far away, let alone in my line of vision.  But it did.  Crazy.

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My new column is up on USA Today.  It’s on what’s being discussed during a last-minute timeout in a close game.  Speaking of crazy things….

I wrote the rough draft for that column, and fired it off to my uncle to see what he thought of it.  He thought it was good, but had a few recommendations.  I took those recommendations and ran with it, re-writing about 30% of the column.  Happy with my final work, I fired it off.

"I've been coaching here for 8 years, you better know what to do by now."

The sports editor said he liked it, and that it would run.  I went to check it out and…. I had sent the rough draft in.  First time I’ve ever done that.  But since the editor liked the column, I figured, eh, let’s leave it.

Sooo, the slightly-rougher-than-planned version doesn’t mention the focus inside the defensive team’s huddle, but that’s a pretty short couple paragraphs anyways: don’t leave anybody uncovered low in the zone (just one guy left to cover high players), keep player’s sticks up around the net, and keep your sticks in passing lanes.  Pretty simple, meatheads.  Work hard and block shots.

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Blackhawks/Canucks

2-2 with a couple minutes to go in the third, and Brent Seabrook fires a rocket pass through a seam to Kris Versteeg, the type of pass you simply can’t make in rec hockey.  A laser.

Versteeg shows great patience, and reads the sliding d-man with a pull-up/cut.  He looks at his options, and sees everyone falling all over Luongo’s crease.  As he takes it to his forehand, everyone commits to him shooting.  Then he tries to pull it to his backhand, which I saw developing – to a wide open side of the net, to one of the prettiest goals of the year…. and loses it.  I was bummed, just because I love slick goals off the rush.

Odd celly, I thought. So... that's you being happy, then?

Then Chicago makes a couple passes only Chicago and Washington make.  They regain composure, fire it up to Keith, who fires it back to Versteeg (Chicago’s what, 6th best forward?) who’s able to stop it and fire a perfect wrister over a sliding Luongo.  That play is why I’m so enamoured with this Blackhawks team (but still, I’m rooting for the Canuckleheads).

The same way I mentioned that Pittsburgh and Detroit can score with skill or grit, the Canucks have their own options (Sedin/Sedin for skill, Kesler/Burrows for grit).  With a quality goaltender, I think the Canucks could cause Chicago (and beyond) absolute fits in playoffs.

This series easily gets the nod as the best series of all the conferece semi’s.

Boston/Philadelphia

As we begin the three or four game march to Philly’s funeral, here’s what I want to talk about:

Post-game interviews.

This picture could not be less relevant to my topic.

Often, I complain that hockey players are too generic in their responses, and holycrapsaysomethinginterestingsoon.

But the reporters are just as often to blame, because they force players into those answers.  And sometimes, they force you into full-out lying to not make them look like idiots.  This is the hardest thing to do as a player sometimes, it’s like taking an SAT question after doing cardio on a spin bike.

For example: I assume Lucic scored the winning goal yesterday, because they were interviewing him after the game.  Yes, that’s how little of that game I watched last night (went with some of Dexter season three until Bri went to bed, then watched the DVR’ed Canucks/Hawks game).

Anyways, the guy says to Milan:  “All three Bruins goals were on the shooters sticks for a combined total of under five seconds, how much did you guys preach quick release?”

How much did we preach quick release?

Well, not at all, actually, we always shoot it as quickly as possible when trying to score.  Y’know, so the goalie doesn’t have time to set?  That’d be like preaching “hey guys, when there’s a stick in the way of somewhere you want to pass, let’s really try this new saucer thing that takes advantage of the air above the guy’s blade.”

To Lucic’s credit, he saved the guy “Well, y’know, that’s the way you score on any goalie in this league, so we knew that….” blah blah blah.

It happens all the time.  One year I remember constantly being asked by our beat reporter some variation of ”what was your game plan on your opponents goalie tonight?”.  By the end of the year I had to tell the guy I couldn’t find any more jibber-jabber for that question “look, you try to find a hole and hit it.  If you have more time, you try to make him think you’re shooting somewhere you’re not with a fake, a look, a move.  Goalie’s with obvious weak spots can’t play professional hockey, so we didn’t ‘game plan’ anything.”  It’s not like NHL ’93 where everytime you skate across the crease the goalie gets caught on the post or something.  Half the time you’re just shooting for rebounds.

And then I shanked him with a shattered Synergy, cause I’m badass. (*note: that part may not have actually happened)

But seriously, c’mon guys, you’re better than that.

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Anywho, happy tuesday people!  Hope spring has sprung, wherever you’re at!

My “rec hockey tip of the week” is for defenceman, on stick position.

When a guy is coming down on you one-on-one (or two-on-two, whatever), you aren’t being sneaky by keeping your stick out to the side for the big swing check.  I’m aware you have a stick, I haven’t forgotten from the previous thousand games I’ve played, like a puppy re-biting on the fake-thrown tennis ball.  Hiding it isn’t helping your cause. 

With huge eyes and head.

Lil silver tiger.

In fact, 90% of the time, I’m looking for your stick to put the puck under.  And when you swing it, I’m gonna skate to the side you’re swinging from everytime, slide the puck close to your feet so said stick misses badly, and cross you over.  The stick-swing weight-shift f**ks you.  Keep it in front of you, “on” the puck. 

{kitten just walked up my legs, and stuck his stupid round head over the screen, like a whack-a-mole.  He’s a healthy happy boy, judging by the purrs/terrorism}.

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Is Hannah Storm hot or not?  I’m confused.

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Hey, fellow Canadians.  Inconsisent but talented defenseman Tomas Kaberle just passed Tim freaking Horton on the all-time assist-list for Toronto Maple Leafs.  Nothing warms your heart like that I bet.  Save for the occassional double-double.  Those things are like crack.

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Being 100% honest, my blog is less fun to write now than when I started it in January/Febuary of this year, minus the fact that I can open my mouth to consume sustinence now (see: the tale of Bourne’s busted face).  Big perk.  Reason being is that now I make an effort to keep it about hockey, which occassionally doesn’t hold my interest.  It was more of a poorly-written review of documentaries and stand-up comedy in it’s inception, my two favourite things to watch (or Seinfeldian “what’s the deal with’s”). 

Point is, I have a running argument with a friend where I explain that sugar cookies are at the bottom of the cookie totem pole, and he’s in denial (my mom makes mmm, ballpark, 90 varieties of Christmas cookies/squares, general deliciousnesses, and he picks the sugar cookies off the chocolate-laden tray).  Which brings me to a long-time-due re-running of this Gary Gulman bit on sugar cookies that I ran allll the way back then:

[frustratedly still searching for clip I know is somewhere on the internet]

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The ice cream on the back of the lid rules. 

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So, after watching Rick Nash fall post-shootout attempt (again), it’s safe to say that, as a goalie, he’s the last person you want to see coming down on a breakaway, right?  Three reasons -- A) He can score  B) He’s huge, and very well might fall/run you over  C) He might do them simultaneously.

‘

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJCwh8aKR4Q

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKOrK0uua4Y

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhtH2cioCxw

Also on Nash: If you do a Youtube search of his shootout goals, they’re identical.  I don’t know why goalies don’t know this yet.  Everytime he almost falls, it’s because he’s doing something different.  We have the internet now. Goalies need to Nash is going forehand to the blocker side.  Tambellini is going high glove.  EVERY TIME.  Research, people!

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And last, a little bit of disappointing news.

Dan Friedell

This summer, I got a call from a guy named Dan Friedell.  Dan was the online hockey editor for USA Today, and at the urgings of a mutual friend, had read a little of my hockey writing.

Dan called me out of the blue one day, thinking we might be able to help each other out.  I agreed to write a hockey “blog” for them (aka the best I could possibly write a column ever), they get free hockey content, and in turn, I got the hope that if the stories were good, and people liked them, he would push to have me on as staff for the 09-10 season.

Well, the blogumns went well, and true to his word, Dan hired me to write a bi-weekly column.  I was ecstatic.

Dan got laid off yesterday (hopefully not for hiring me), as a result of the newspaper industry’s continued need to hack costs (and in turn, often quality) in an attempt to keep up with us “new media” folk and all our free content.  Because nothing say “news” like “Is Hannah Storm hot?”

So anyways, thanks Dan.  I really appreciate you giving me the opportunity to do what I do on a larger scale, and I’ll do my best to make that column something people look forward to reading, to show you’re a guy who makes good decisions.  My most recent, on old school coaches, came out yesterday.

Let’s hit the links.

Yesterday, ESPN’s John Buccigross posted the Brendan Burke story - as was to be expected, the article has been passed around on Twitter like  it’s running a five-on-three powerplay.  As a result, I’m back in the mix (“the mix”, being the 286 comments received on my gay slurs article for USA Today).

I did an email interview on the story for Yahoo! hockey blogger “Puck Daddy” (Greg Wyshynski).  You can check that out here.

Also, I responded via email to a Buccigross question – he’ll be running that response later today, and of course, that’ll be up on here when he puts it up.

For my Canadian readers, I’ll be going on CBC’s primetime show “Connect with Mark Kelley” if one of the Burke’s are unable to make it – that’s at five o’clock today.  All I can say is, I’m cut out for radio today, not TV.  I look like I got lost in the woods, found and drank some grain alcohol, fought Manny Pacquiao, then slept in a ditch.  In reality, I just haven’t shaved in a week and couldn’t sleep because of late-night rec hockey.  …and I may have had a Stella or two.

***AMENDED*** – Apparently, it IS for TV.  Five o’clock Arizona time on the CBC.  I just scraped a razor over my dumb face, and will be heading to the studio in a bit, if the CBC can track down a willing partner in this.

And again, I received further confirmation in my inbox today that, yes, I am indeed a “flaming homo”.  So… I’ve got that going for me.

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Since I’m receiving a bit of an influx in the ‘ol number-of-hits category today, I thought I’d direct some first-time Bourne’s Bloggers to a few things I wrote that managed to not suck.

*An inordinately serious column on leaving the game of hockey, for The Hockey News

*The “How I Met Your Mother” of Bourne’s Blog.  The story written for Islanders Point Blank on how I ended up engaged to Clark Gillies daughter, Brianna.

*And the story of how I ended up being a writer, for The Hockey News – I’m having trouble getting their site to work right now, so you can find it as the bottom article on this page.

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So that’s all you get today, friends.  Looking forward to more feedback, and when the ESPN bit gets posted, you’ll be the first to know.

I’m excited today.  My USA Today column on homosexuals in professional hockey is “out” this morning (did you gasp?  You gasped didn’t you.)  Major thank you’s to the people there for allowing me to run it, and for only editing out certain sentences, like, “I’ve said fag more times than a British smoker”, which was at one point my entire intro paragraph.  Please give it a read people, I think I make a fair point.

Secondly, Bourne’s Blog had it’s best reader comment ever, in regards to head injuries.  Verbatim, jbrown:

This is what watching game 73 of 162 on TV feels like.

“We’ve covered NFL and NHL in this thread, but what about MLB? Baseball is responsible for some of the worst head injuries around. The other day I accidentally left the TV on Sportsnet and the World Series was on when I walked by. I vaguely recall being overcome with an intense malaise and dizzying level of apathy. When I came to, I was laying on the ground beside the coffee table with a small cut on my forehead.” 

I still can’t read that without laughing. 

I’m not sure what’s happening with me and baseball.  It makes no sense that I can love to play a sport so much, and have so much fun going to a game in person, yet can’t watch so much as a full inning of the World Series final on TV, even with two of the leagues most interesting teams playing.

I literally found it hard to flip back to the baseball game last night because the football game was so good, and the Coyotes were tied 3-3 in the third.  That’s how I knew I was really over baseball on TV.

HD TV has done well by so many sports, but I think baseball needs to go back to low-def.  Maybe seeing guys eating Spitz and not paying attention to their own game takes some of the fire out of it for me.  Imagine eating seeds on the bench in hockey?  You’d choke and die.  Hearing that Manny took a shower mid-game last series says a lot about baseball, unfortunately.

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Some quick hits:

...thinking "boy-oh-boy do I like finishing my checks and playing defensively responsible hockey"

The Coyotes were one win away from a blogged apology last night.  I saw they were up 3-1, and I wrote in my phone “admit you were wrong to Coyotes fans tomorrow”.  Then they puked on their shoes.  Now you’re going to have to wait a little longer for that apology.  …I hear a rattling… did a few screws get loosened around the bandwagon wheels?

Here’s the problem with this – I moved here intending to like the Coyotes, but I “knew” they were going to be bad.  So I wrote my opinion.  Now, they have a fast, hardworking, probably likable team (Shane Doan as the superstar made me type “likable” while cringing.  Nice guy, but as exciting as beige), but I want my prediction to come true, so I root against them.  At the very least, I offer the fans this:  I’ll stop rooting against them.  There.  That’s what you get.

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In hockey, did you know team bus drivers honk the horn twice when pulling away from an arena after a road win?  Wasn’t sure if fans knew that or not.  Every level, every team.

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Blog would have been up earlier, but I google imaged "tartan skirt". My bad.

In reference to a Paul Shirley tweet, isn’t it amazing that any Catholic school anywhere still makes teenage girls wear Tartan skirts as a uniform?  Are they that socially oblivious to what those have come to represent?

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Is switch-hitting the most impressive thing in sports?  It has my vote.  I can’t imagine the spinal damage I’d incur trying to hit a slider left-handed.

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I tweeted this in the past (God we need a better word for microblogs), but in the cap era of team building, is prolonged suckage the best path to success?  Isles are 4-0-2 in their last six, the Pens have been in two finals in two years, and the Blackhawks might win the Presidents trophy.  And those three teams sucked, sucked and sucked the first half of this decade.

Weird, the case was made by a UNH alum.

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I had someone make the case to me about James Van Riemsdyk in Philly being a potential Calder Trophy winner.  I’m sold.  Seven points in his last six, and looking like he’s just getting more comfortable.

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That’s all for today.  Again, check out my USA Today piece, and let me know what you’re thoughts on the issue are.  Preferably on their site, not this one.  Thanks!

Let’s be clear on something Phoenix fans – I don’t dislike the Coyotes.  I keep saying they aren’t going to do well because I don’t think they’re going to do well.  I don’t like Carolina.  I think your team is bad.  There’s a difference.

I did my Power Rankings for USA Today… today… and I feel good about them.  I’ll link to the rest of my rankings tomorrow, but for today, I’ll just run my top ten teams:

1. Pittsburgh
2. Colorado
3. Washington
4. New York Rangers
5. Buffalo
6. Calgary
7. Los Angeles
8. Chicago
9. New Jersey
10. Phoenix

Worth noting

* Philly dropped from second to out of my top ten this week.  5-3-1 in 9 games with a roster as impressive as theirs just continues to defy logic.  Why aren’t they better?

* Phoenix crept into my top ten.  I’m never quite sure if a power ranking is supposed to be “top ten seasons so far” or “top ten teams who’ll win the cup” or something totally different.  I tend to think its a reflection of the season to date, with a minor bias towards those teams with more promise.  And up til now, the Coyotes have had the tenth best season in the NHL (and of course, that’s judging them as a real team with no “…for the Coyotes” kicker.  I bet it feels good to shed that kicker with their good start).

* Both at 6-3 in nine games, I have New Jersey ahead of Phoenix because they’re 5-0-0 on the road. 1-3 at home sucks, but five road wins makes their season to date better.

* My top five has four Eastern Conference teams.  When you look at the records, it’s tough to argue – even though Buffalo has only played 8 times, it’s still impressive to only have one loss (6-1-1).

* How about some of the teams I thought would struggle in the West flying outta the gates?  Phoenix, LA, and Dallas all started surprisingly well.  Unfortunately, someone has to lose every time a game is played.  Watch for a trend towards reality in the coming weeks.

* I realize I have Washington high again.  They’re 6-2-2, and that “slight bias towards teams with promise” did it to me again.  If you were the GM of a team that was a goalie away from being a legit Cup threat, wouldn’t you be making calls around the league every day?  Twice a day?  TO EVERY TEAM?

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 For hockey fans in Phoenix (and they do exist), coverage of your home boys isn’t great.  Actually, coverage of hockey period isn’t great.

I have good news.

Ahh.... I heart you CJ's

Bourne’s Blog has a new sponsor.  In general, as I start adding more sponsors, I may have to lie to you.  “Oh, I really love using Glidden paint, and you should too”.  “When I score goals, I do it using Hammertime’s double-shafted lead sticks – it’s got a built-in cup holder!”.  But this one is no lie - Cactus Jack’s bar is awesome.

With more than 15 flat screens, the NHL package, TSN and CBC… if you wanna see a game covered at all, or better than Versus does it, it’s at 4747 Elliot Road by the Safeway in Ahwatukee.  Good food and cheap drinks.  And I mean cheap.  And though it’s not my cup of tea, they have three pool tables, Golden Tee, all the good bar staples.

So, here’s what I’m thinkin Phoenix fans.

You hate me.  That’s fine.  But lots of you hit my site everyday, I have that sort of technology that exposes you, believe it or not.

This Saturday, let’s go watch Hockey Night in Canada.  Let’s talk hockey.  Let’s hash this out.  I’m just trying to get a feel for this idea, so you can comment on here or write me an email, whatever.  My new sponsor wins, and I get to actually get to know you.  Thankfully, while drinking. 

How many of you would want to watch some hockey on a million-inch (give or take) with real commentators with me?  We’ll even put the Phoenix game on an adjacent TV, and I won’t make any smart-ass remarks (everyone who already knows me in person just spit water on their monitors).  You in?

Before we get too deep into anything on the blog (you know, cause I usually discuss such deep topics), check out my latest column for USA Today here.  It’s on team identity, how tough it is to find one when you’re losing, and how the Toronto Maple Leafs are the perfect example of that.  Don’t be shy to comment, recommend, and just generally make the major newspaper provider feel like they’ve made a good hire.

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It’s weird, how getting older means you see your friends less.  People move, get married, have kids, all that.  So of course, it’s always nice when you get the chance to reconnect. 

One of those ridiculous-looking sponsors supplemented his salary directly. Do we think this doesn't happen in NA to circumvent the salary cap?

In junior, my roommate Andrew Derton was like a part of my family.  He’s down in Phoenix playing for the CHL team (er, change of plans on that, but anyways), so he’s spending some time over at my place.  It’s been nearly FIVE YEARS since I’ve seen the guy I once lived with for two years, won a championship with, and endured Mussonlini-as-a-coach with.

And just like yesterday’s blog involved some hockey thoughts that I mentioned came up over beer with a different guy, the following came up over red wine with Derts:

Derty played in Belgium and Holland a bit last year, and in talking about that, we got onto an important point for players making the “where to play” decision after junior or college.  North American hockey matters on your resume.

A little known fact about going to play overseas for fans, is that they really want you to have some experience over here before you go over there.  For the small and talented ”he’ll be great in Europe” guys, they should really stick it out over here for a year before they go (especially since it’s a LOT harder to go Europe to NA than NA to Europe). 

Good experience here can earn you double/triple what a similar player to you will be earning, strictly because you have North American pro under your belt. 

Before I broke my face in shattery-five places last year, I was in the midst of negotiating a deal in Europe, and had just had a deal for 750 Euro a week in The Hague (Netherlands) fall through (teams there are only allowed two imports per team, and there were some complications I don’t feel like writing out).  They pay housing and bills on top of that, and there’s almost no tax.  Neato.  Glad I broke my face and took up writing… stupid computer…

{<——- No, you’re right, fate, a broken face in Boise is much better than being overpaid near Amsterdam… I look like Artie Lange there.}

Anyway, he was telling me that on his CHL team, there were Europeans coming across to play in North America for two reasons:  One, the money is gone in a lot of lower European leagues (not all are mob backed.  I’m looking at you, KHL…).  Apparently the economy isn’t just bad here.  But the bigger one, two, is that they were trying to better build their resumes to earn better money. 

He was playing with a Dane, a French fella, Czechs, a Slovak and some Russians.  And, as is to be expected, and is typical, most to all of them hate “our” style of game (here comes the flood of “then go home thoughts” from readers).  I don’t mean that in a derogatory anti-Euro way at all; I’m stating a fact.  Most of them hate the dump and chase buffonery North American coaches employ (and I side with them on that).

*****

I have my “to blog about” file on my phone that I update when I chat with people and think of something.  I add stuff at sporting events, at red lights, wherever.  The downside of this, is that I think I get good ideas in the middle of the night, so I enter them in the file.

I consistently wake up to some cryptic, garbled nonsense that I have no clue how to decipher.  My favourite, by far, came last night, apparently around two a.m.

PopTart from an Oscar Envelope?

…yeah.  See?  These are the type of insights you’d miss if you didn’t read this blog.  (I love the question mark, like I wasn’t certain if it was a good idea or not.)

It’s too bad you can’t up and punch people anymore.

"Hahaha, guys, did you see? I toootally rubbed our win in that guys face!"

In our society, things have changed, and largely for the better.  You can’t smoke in bars, we recycle more, and we’re more tolerant of alternative lifestyles.

But you just can’t hit a dude.  And for the most part, that’s too bad.

I can kinda see what’s happened in the NHL happening in real life.  Back when my dad and dad-to-be played in the league, there was a lot less spearing, high-sticking and mouth-running, because you couldn’t get to the “uck” part of the phrase that ends in “you” without taking your first bite of knuckle sandwich.  Guys were held accountable, so they were less likely to flap their gums just to look tough.

Now, the league protects so heavily against guys getting randomly popped, that players spend time after every other whistle getting through a lot more than just ”f*** you” (which is still a clever, intelligent thing to say), because they never have to physically back it up.

And that’s on the ice.

Off the ice, you can’t hit anyone ever.  I think you have to file paperwork at City Hall if two people agree they wanna scrap.  Here’s where I’m going with this:

This is what you get by Googling "club promoter". The law protects these guys from being hit, why?

Why does anyone care that Braylon Edwards might have popped a “club promoter”  (Lebron Jame’s friend) at 2:30 a.m?

Club promoters are the exact type of  people that we need to taste a few flavours of knuckle on a nightly basis anyway.  A guy gets drunk at a club and punches the promoter… and we’re calling that “an alleged assault”?  Can we not devalue the phrase “assault” so much?  That’s an alleged “straightening out of the food chain”, isn’t it?

Lebron is saying that his club promoter friend is “like 130 pounds, it’d be like hitting someones little brother”.  Okay – if you’re 130 pounds, don’t run your mouth to a professional football player, right?  Just a thought.

*****

As my Facebook status mentioned yesterday, I’m dropping more columns than a bomb at the Parthenon today. (Still only me that thinks thats funny?  My bad).  The following are links to those pieces:

USA Today – A New Season Begins

The Hockey News – Life After Hockey

Un-cured ham.

*****

Ahhh Monday, October 5th – the start of everything great.

Great:   This week kicks off the start of the 2009 – 2010 NHL season, and the excitment in North America is at it’s highest level in years.  08-09 saw the league make great strides towards regaining national interest, and this season got out of the gates even quicker than the one past.  It’s year five of the channel Versus’ NHL coverage, and though they do a slightly worse job of covering it than the Detroit Lions defense does of covering anything, it’s still a positive sign that this year’s opening day game had the highest ratings they’ve ever had by a run-away. 

Welcome back NHL season, and a welcome to Bourne’s fantasy hockey dominance – my guys have 12 points already, and my goalies have an average save percentage of like  .952!  …wait… what??  I’m losing with those stats?  Someone must have created a stupid league.

Also great: The NFL season just finished it’s fourth week, and we’re finally getting into the heart of the year.  My Jets are 3-1, which, despite a Mark Sanchez implosion last game, is the type of start any team would happily accept.  Good stuff from Gang Green.

Two points, thanks.

Also great: The NBA season starts soon.  Not that I care all that much, but I like watching Lebron dunk on fools like the league is playing on Fischer-Price hoops.  I like the phrase ”posterize” (the act of dunking so hard on someone that they become the guy getting dunked-on in the poster on the wall of a kid’s room), and I like buzzer-beaters.  But really, it’s about Lebron (and the Cavs awesome team chemistry).  He’s like Tiger Woods – he makes an otherwise barely interesting sport mandatory to watch when he’s involved. 

Also great: My lady-friend and I are moving into our first place on Thursday.  Well, the first one we’re trading our own money to stay in, anyways.  As the Phoenix residents have explained, we’ve now entered the second six-month season, simply known here as “bragging”.  88, blue and clear here today.  How’s things Alaska?  Boston?  (Sorry, I had to).

Also great: 46″ Sharp Aquos, in the box, waiting to be opened.  Next topic.

Also great: Now that I got my Negative Nancy article out of my system (the firestorm-inducing piece in the Arizona Republic), I have a bunch of positive-ish columns coming out this week.  I’ll be linking to them here, because I’m not certain I’ll have time to blog later this week with the move and all.  The article’s title will become a link the second they become available around the ‘net.

Monday: HockeyPrimetime.com – The Last Two Cents For Fleury

Tuesday: USA Today – A New Season Begins

Wednesday: The Hockey News – Life After Hockey

Whenever Botta Wants: Islanders Point Blank – Trevor Smith

Two more quick things:

One: Give HockeyPrimetime a thorough check-out in the coming weeks.  They’re focused on providing quality original content, while amalagamating some of the best hockey stuff from around the ‘net.  They have radio shows in the works, and they built this site.  Hence, I’m a fan.

Two: If I may, I’d recommend reading the pieces for USA Today and The Hockey News.  The USA Today piece is a nice, light piece on how the start of the season feels, right before the marathon season begins.  If you like the piece, please, let them know, since they took the (massive) risk in hiring me.  The Hockey News piece is an article that stands in stark contrast to the USA Today one, but is strong in it’s own, different way.  It carries a lot of my own honest emotion about leaving the game, and was theraputic to write.

I hope you enjoy them all, and most of all, enjoy this hockey season.  Islanders, for the Cup! (enjoy the money I lost on that bet, Vegas…)