Sacre Bleu! C’est Armstrong de Lance!

The NHL schedule is out today.  In a related story, the Islanders were just mathamatically elimated from the 2010 playoffs.  Tough start.

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Livestrong, Lance Armstrong (or live really strong, with slightly elevated testosterone levels):

I’m not sure what to make of this “nearly-leading-the-Tour-de-France” thing he’s throwing at us.

In regards to steroid use, you have to believe there’s no way he’d be using during this years ride for charity.  He wouldn’t put every previous win he’s ever had at risk by getting caught in the twilight of his career.  He wouldn’t be stupid enough to roll that dice now (if he ever was).

So then I’m left to assume he really just dominates that race, and is legitimately in the mix again, which makes “impressive” an understatement.

It’s made me reflect on his career a bit.

It’s tough to say if he was ever a cheater or not.  You really hope not, for one obvious reason.  If he did, he’s been exploiting his own cancer, holding himself up as a hero, “guiding the way” for those who need a leader.  And somehow, in the last few years, Lance has gone from an abrasive, cheating-accused Texan cycling champion to a celebrity-dating, movie cameo’ed, Mother Teresa brand name.

The upside is that, even if he did cheat, he’s made a ton of money for cancer research.  But then again, how awful would it be to find out some guy has been using his cancer as a platform to celebrityhood, willingly accepting the praise (and book sales) that come with actually overcoming such a hardship? 

I like Lance, and want it all to go down as pure (a little late for “pure” maybe.  This guy’s been accused of drug-use more times than Ricky Williams) strictly because you know the French are pulling out their hair every time he succeeds, yelling “tabernac!” and tearing apart their croissants like Tommy Boy does his pretty little pet.

At the very least, it’ll make for interesting TV, which I’d watch, if it weren’t cycling.

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If you hire a financial planner who looks like this, and is on record as saying he doesn’t like reading because “all them little words confuse me”, then you lose all your money, who’s the idiot?

Lenny Dykstra – $31 shmill. in debt.  Thanks for playin’.

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I’m issuing a cease and desist order on players calling their fans “the best in ______”.  Albert Pujols called the St. Louis fans “the best in baseball” yesterday, which seems unlikely.

Go... Mets?

Maybe he’s right in this particular instance (anybody else skeptical out there? Anyone..? Bueller… Bueller…), but it’s got to stop.  I played junior B hockey against a kid who called the Beaver Valley Thunder Hawks fans “the best in hockey”.  Probably not.

Players get stuck on loop, not because they’re incapable of thinking of something good to say, it’s just the nomenclature of the business, the same way the Bush administration would call my shattered jaw a “puck-assisted bone reorganization”.  I understand it at sports’ highest levels:  They get asked 13,000 questions a day, so they put it on auto-pilot.  Plus, any semi-inflammatory thing that crawls out of their mouth is on 98 different talk shows before it’s halfway out, so you can see why the daily message would stay bland.

Part of the job of a professional athlete is talking for the sake of sound bites, but please, lets try to think before declaring something unoriginal (and simply not true).

But on a more serious note… my readers are the best in the world.  Best readers ever.  I just love these guys.  Proud to be a part of something special with ‘em.  It’s a team game.