Timing, Tiger and Tomatoes

Breakaways are pretty rare.  In practice, if you beat the goalie on a deke, he sort of gives up and slides out of the net.  There’s no desperate swing/dive reaction, because, whatever.  It’s practice.  And most of the time, Tendy’s not even gonna go down. He’s going through the motions out there, with that “starter” spot pretty well locked up.

So it’s hard to know just how effective your moves are.  Thus, when you’d get a breakaway in the olden days, it was panic central.  Holy-crap, holy-crap, holy-crap-time.

The shootout era has changed this.  It’s given guys more opportunities to take uncontested breakaways on goalies that are actually trying.  Guys are getting a better feel for what’s effective, what timing and what pacing works, all that good stuff. 

So here’s what I learned thanks to shootouts: the speed of attack is key.  Mostly, that the goalie can’t vary his speed as easy as the shooter can.

So, starting out top speed will get the tender backing up quick, then you can slow it right down, let him back up damn-near under the crossbar, and shoot.  For deke’s, the opposite.  Start slow, and pick up speed so the goalie is still at the top of his crease.

Thanks for the help on breakaways, whoever introduced the shootout!

‘

*****

I love the “do athletes deserve privacy” question that keeps coming up as a result of the Tiger Woods case. 

Yyyyyes.  Yes they do.

I don’t get it.  People say stuff like “if you take all that money, and you’re in the spotlight, you’re willingly sacrificing your privacy for a public life”.  Why?

So you’re really really good at hockey as a kid, dominating everyone, and an NHL team wants to sign you.  They offer you millions of dollars.  You’re supposed to pass up being a millionaire because you don’t want people to know when you fight with your wife?  “Sorry, Blackhawks, I appreciate the millions of dollars you offered, but I’d rather not have my picture taken.  Like, ever”.  Athletes need to choose between being successful at their sport and not being TMZStalked now?

In Tiger’s case, maybe you can argue that by doing advertisements for stuff, he’s sacrificed some right to his own privacy, but honestly, I’m not seeing that either (but it’s still super-petty to hock razors as a f**king billionaire).

{Tangent Brackets: I said this in a comment below, but thought it was worth running in the body of the blog:

The “Hey… It’s Tiger” is funny in so many ways I’m not sure where to start.  ….it’s like the phrase the police would try to get you to say to officially incriminate you in a drug bust “…so you’re, willing to sell me this COCAINE for MONEY. What’s the powdery white stuff called again?” is equal to “Hi, it’s TIGER”.}

"I'm Josh Elliot" --- "And I've got a porn name"

*****

Hannah Storm wore straight-up camo today. 

*****

If you get up and pour a bowl Special K Red Berries, and don’t actually get any red berries, do you think it forecasts your day?  Like, lets say you were eating Lucky Charms.  You pour a bowl.  ZERO marshmallows.  The odds of that are near impossible.  Do you let that convince you that that day is going to suck?

*****

And last -- the slightly more expensive “on the vine” tomatoes at the grocery store.  What’s the etiquette on just picking the ones I need, like, right off the vine?  You pay by weight, and I don’t need to donate 18 cents to stems do I? 

I needed two tomatoes for a salad yesterday.  Some guy is watching me pick my tomatoes off-the-vine at the on-the-vine section.  There was an audible “pff”.  Like, disappointed in me.  F**k him, right?

*****

 (Language warning for those of you who take life to seriously)

Report: Most College Males Admit To Regularly Getting Stoked