“8th Seeds, Who Wants Some 8th Seeds?”

 
White rabbits!

Anyone else say that at the start of every month for luck?  I’m gonna say my family’s been doing it for like, 15 years – the earlier you say it on the 1st, the better the luck that month.

Also, throwing perfectly good money into a well is good luck.  Mutated clovers are too.  Totally makes sense.

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Speaking of luck – with a little of it, could you see Calgary or St. Louis sneaking ahead of Colorado for eighth in the Western Conference?

Yeesssssss you could.

Colorado’s remaining six games see them play the Flames head-to-head once (tomorrow!  Ooo), the Sharks, the Blackhawks, the Kings, the Canucks and a freebie against the Oilers (or is it?!).

They’re up two points on the Flamers (with a game-in-hand… at-hand?), so for conversation sake, lets say Calgary beats them tomorrow.  They’d both have 89 points, and I could see Colorado being below .500 in those last five games, since, y’know, four of the five teams are ahead of them in the standings.

Weee, winning is fun!

Calgary, admittedly, doesn’t have a much easier schedule – Blackhawks, Sharks, Wild, Canucks – but all they’d have to do down the stretch is win three to catch the Avs.  Exciting stuff.

I’ve included the Blues in the hunt too – six points out with six games to go, largely because they seem to be turning it around, and you never know.  After winning three straight, they’re schedule includes games versus the Predators, the Stars, Blue Jackets, Ducks and Blackhawks.  Five wins isn’t completely impossible, and might be enough to get it done, if the two teams ahead of them act like it’s the Eastern Conference.

So here’s to a great finish out West!

As for the East….

All I’m wondering is, “the Isles are three points up on the Maple Laffs, and play Pittsburgh, New Jersey, Pittsburgh to end the season.  Could they fall far enough to steal the increased lottery odds?”

A fair question, no?

I think they can, only cause the Laffs can’t do ANYTHING right this year.

On a more relevant note, Boston, Montreal and Philadelphia all have 82 points while the Thrashers have 80 and the Rangers have 78.  What a mess (congrats to Tampa for being 3-7 in its last ten, taking the title of “biggest blown opportunity” away from the Rangers at the last second).

Montreal has one less game left, but a joke of a schedule coming home (After the Flyers they have the Islanders, Hurricanes, Maple Leafs and an SPHL team, I think).

So wait… Boston/Montreal won’t be a 1-8 or 2-7 matchup this year?  But it’s always like that….

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The NHL’s biggest “I can’t believe that guy doesn’t wear a visor” has to be Ruslan Fedetenko, right?  Baby face, happy guy, plays a skill game, seems afraid, gets hurt (but not injured) a lot….  Everytime I see him I’m surprised.  Who else is on this list?

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The NHL’s biggest “numbers-inflating roster spot” has to be A) Alex Burrows spot with the Sedins  B) Steve Downie’s spot with St. Louis/Stamkos line  or C)  ???  Whatchu got?  (Getting to wear a Capitals jersey?)

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The guy pumping it out in the picture below (Nick Lowe) is here for a golf weekend, then a few days at my place.  You may remember his picture from a previous blog.  In this pic, he just tied the game up with minutes left – I score on the next shift to beat North Dakota (that years version of the Sioux had Toews, Stafford, Smaby, Zajac, Oshie, Brian Lee, and was goaltended by Lamoureux or Jordan Parise), the weekend my Dad was in Alaska.  Special times.

Solid one-knee pump.

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Western Conference Playoff Spots

The battle for playoff spots in the West is always a little more intriguing when some unexpected teams blow up and have good seasons, and this is one of those years.  Phoenix, Nashville and LA are all better than I expected, and I think better than the rest of the West had hoped.

So without really any ado, here’s how I see the bubble teams finishing up:

4th, Vancouver Canucks, 52 games played, 66 points

The only reason the Canucks get a blurb in the “bubble teams” section at all is their upcoming road trip.  They set an NHL record by being gone for something like six weeks, and playing 14 straight road games (Olympic preparation in Vancouver).  They’re 22-7-1 at home, but below .500 at 10-11-1 on the road this year.  If they survive the trip at .500, they’ll be in great shape.

{Only Washington, Pittsburgh and San Jose have scored more goals than the Canucks this year, and only New Jersey, Buffalo and Chicago have given up less.  Not bad, VanCity.  Not bad.}

5th, Phoenix Coyotes, 52 games played, 63 points

The ‘Yotes have played the majority of their games to date at home in the friendly confines of Jobing.com Arena (29), where they’re a dominant 19-8-2.  On the road, the Coyotes are an even 10-10-3 (23 games), sort of how your record is supposed to look.  With a third of the season left to play, they’re in position to push for a quality playoff spot.

Have you noticed a trend in the teams that are “overachieving”?  The Coyotes, Sabres, and Avalanche all have similar team builds, to some extent.  They’re fast over big, mostly young over mostly old, they’ve got great goaltending and most importantly, their top six forwards are almost all interchangeable as ”first line” guys.  Instead of the NBA method – pay one player to be your star and build around him – they all seem to be deeper teams without “that guy” to watch out for (the top two scorers from the teams I just listed are Tim Connolly and Paul Stastny, both below a point a game at 48 points in 51 games).

The Coyotes are going to make playoffs this year, but to have any hope of moving beyond a quick round one exit, they need to finish in 5th or 6th – 7th or 8th (versus San Jose or Chicago) would be hopeless.

6th, Los Angeles Kings, 51 games played, 61 points

The Kings seem fragile, don’t they?  Points are always easier to come by before Christmas, just like wins.  When Anze Kopitar has Ryan Smyth to help him out, he’s useful, but his production has seriously slowed down.  He just doesn’t seem like a guy who can get it done when his opponents key on him, they way the real elite stars can.  That says to me he’s not ready to be “the guy” on a team that needs one.  They’re good enough to win even with him struggling, so they’ll hang on to playoffs, but you certainly get the impression they aren’t headed the right direction.

7th, Nashville Predators, 51 games played, 61 points

I almost included the Preds in the group of “overachieving teams with the same build” from the Coyotes paragraph, but in the end, I didn’t think their Dan Ellis or Pekka Rinne deserved to be in the same class as Bryzgalov, Miller and Anderson.  Nashville could be the best team to miss playoffs this year… and I see it happening.

8th, Detroit Red Wings, 51 games played, 58 points

The depressing part for the teams on the wrong side of the playoff cutoff line looking in right now is, you’re not trying to catch Detroit’s 58 points, you’re looking at Nashvilles 61.  Detroit has played with half a team all year.  They’re the best coached team in the league, with some of the best names in the entire NHL in their dressing room (even with all they lost from last year).  The Canucks and Avalanche can start stressing now about which one of them is going to get unfortunately stuck in a (4) vs. (5) battle with Detroit.

9th, Calgary Flames, 52 games played, 58 points

What the hell happened to the Flames?  I feel like I fell asleep for an hour and they dropped a half-dozen spots.  Hmm.  1-8-1 in their last ten, with six straight losses.  By all logic, the Flames should be okay:  great goaltender, maybe the best defensive trio in the league, and a couple of guys up front who can score.  For me, the major difference between their offensive firepower and the teams “overacheiving” this year, is that their goal scorers aren’t young and energetic.  They don’t have that legs churning, relentless effort type threat right now – they’re scary in the “HolyCrapDon’tLetHimShootFromThereAWww.  They scored.” type of way.

10th, Anaheim Ducks, 52 games played, 55 points

This is the difference between the Eastern and Western conference.  The 10th and 11th place teams in the West are still really good (so are the Isles, but um, I just…. crap).  The problem is, they can’t all make playoffs, and Anaheim didn’t get off to a great start.  I don’t think they’re good enough to have a huge second half and make up for it.

11th, Dallas Stars, 52 games played, 55 points

I was waiting for them to end up in this spot in the conference, and here they are.  Dallas is a good team, but when teams like Phoenix and LA are good too, it toughens up their usually soft division.

12th, Minnesota Wild, 52 games played, 54 points

I don’t know a lot about Minnesota this year, and that’s not a good sign.  I do know when you’ve pinned a chunk of your offensive hopes on Chuck Kobasew and Andrew Ebbett, you’re in a whole heap of trouble (both are good enough players, but very shutdownable.  Yep, I can make up words on my blog.)  I guess their go-to guy is Havlat, I’m just not sure what else they’ve got.  I’m sure my oddly heavy Wild readership can fill me in on them, but from what I can tell, they don’t have a hockey teams chance in Phoenix snowballs chance in an oven.

13th, St. Louis Blues, 52 games played, 54 points

I’m sticking to my guns on the Blues, especially with the addition of Davis Payne.  They’ve got good top six forwards, good goaltending, and hopefully enough D to get into contention during the last few weeks.  I still think they’ll make a push.

And For His Next Act, Dorsett Slips On A Banana Peel

And now, your bi-daily violent hit review -- the hit-from-behind on Columbus player Derek Dorsett, courtesy James Neal.

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First, thanks to Bob Mckenzie for the review of “I think there’s a chance there could be a suspension here”.  Let’s continue discussing while we scour the ice for the rest of Dorsett’s frontal lobe.

Second, WEAR A FUCKING VISOR, Derek. 

Third, okay, the hit is horrible.  Dorsett is really really hurt.  We need to stop this stuff.  ….But that was funny, right?  I mean, wasn’t it exactly how a vaudeville actor would have played “getting knocked unconscious?”  Or like, in a pre-teeny-after-school-special type show?  Right over backwards, arms out wide?  Okay, okay, you’re right, it was brutal.    ….Ohscrewyou, that was funny.

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Pre-season this year, I predicted the St. Louis Blues to be a sneak-into-playoffs type team, then they got off to a real crap start.  Then, I predicted the Coyotes to get off to a real crap start, and they came out looking like a sneak-into-playoffs type team (or Stanley Cup winner, depending on who you ask).

He shoots, he's old!

Though I’ve backed off on the Coyote bashing, I’ll take this chance to re-affirm my stance that the Blues are good.  With their goaltending, and depth at forwards, their ship has to turn around eventually.  And if not, I’ll start blaming totally arbitrary things like their schedule, or being stuck in a tough division with Nashville and Columbus.

I also predicted Chicago to win the Presidents trophy.  I’m not far off on that one, but I may have overlooked the fact that the Capitals division -- Atlanta, Tampa Bay, Carolina and Florida is the most nauseatingly poor grouping of teams since the WNBA (ahhh, felt good to get another shot in.  Been awhile).

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You can say what you like about last nights Toronto/Carolina game -- battle for the basement, two teams who can’t hold a lead, whatever… but for fans buying a ticket to a hockey game, that was epic.

Not many fans out there appreciate the nuances of a fine goaltending duel - but they all love what they saw out there last night.  Props to those who stayed to watch the last 30 seconds after the ‘Canes did their best to puke the game away in the last minute.  No, no… not props.  Big ups.  I’m switching to using “big ups” more.  Big ups to ‘Canes fans.

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Stan, the very very Jewish man.

Everyone who had the Devils leading their division (vs. Philly, Pitt, the Rangers and… my Isles) raise their hand.  Liars.  Put your hand down.

On the topic of the Devils, I put in a call to my buddy Stan Fischler yesterday -- “The Maven” as he’s affectionately known, deserves at least a whole post, and I will get to that.  For now, I want to do two things -- One, thank him for applying to get me NHL credentials (I’ll occassionally submit pieces on the Coyotes for his newsletter, in exchange), and two, plug his new book Who’s Better: Rangers, Devils, Islanders or the Flyers? (Hint: it’s not the Rangers)

It’s a full comparison of each team’s history, everything from goaltending to tough guys to best Cup-winning team.  Oh, and I wrote the story of Dad’s end-to-end rush against the Rangers for Stan.  So, you know… that was sorta cool.

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Have a great weekend folks.  Oh, and watch this.  I legitimately “lol’ed”:

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Two Videos, One Face-Punch

The Detroit Lions finally w0n a damn football game this Sunday, the first since 2007.  And so, things are finally turning around for this group of bright-eyed hopefuls.  Could it be because of a very special visit from some very special friends?

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Okay, you get one punch, free of consequence, to anyone in America (I narrowed it to the US, cause otherwise you’ll get all intelligent on me and pick someone like Kim Jung Il).  It’s the fight-club game, but not limited to celebrities.  Who’s it gonna be?

Mine?  The guy who runs TMZ.

It’s a bit of a guilty pleasure of the wife’s, so it’s on occasionally.  Unbelievable show.  Has to be seen to be believed.  They chase psuedo-stars around and yell questions at them, then make snide remarks about the responses.  Boggling, boggling stuff.  I’ve been boggled.

My selection is a right cross to the mouth-hole, preferably while he’s talking.

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 Alright, as I promised, here’s another Bourne’s Blog prediction, video style.  Ignore the fact that it looks like I recorded this while sleep-walking.  I get started on these things pretty early.

 This one focuses on a couple overlooked teams that aren’t real threats to win the cup, but will be better than what analysts are giving them credit for.  Coulda picked Nashville from the West, but I hate them, so it would’ve been hard.  Your thoughts? 

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