Coyotes/Red Wings Analysis, Habs/Caps Preview

The Phoenix Coyotes are done.

They pushed the two-time defending conference champion Detroit Red Wings to the brink before petering out in game seven, effectively losing to the conference’s one seed dressed as a five.

Sadly, game seven looked like the last lap of a 1500 meter Olympic race, where the leader came out of the gate sprinting instead of pacing himself.  There was simply nothing left in the Coyotes tank.

Detroit took it to them for the majority of the game, starting from a Martin Hanzal penalty early in the first, and carrying on until Nicklas Lidstrom’s second goal, for which he immediately looked sincerely apologetic. 

Positives were few and far between for the home squad.  One, was that it might have been the best performance from a goalie who gave up six goals I’ve ever seen.  The Wings were just relentless, and as you expect from a proven team, just when they needed to get it done they got big performances from their stars.

GeeDubGee

Datsyuk looked unflappable.  Captain Nick Lidstrom sniped a pair.  Even some sasquatch named Bodd Tertuzzi or something scored.  When the core of a team who’s won the Cup once and the conference twice in the last two playoffs has the switch flipped to “on”, you expect it to look like that 6-1 win did.  (I found myself cursing the Coyotes for beating LA and Nashville down the stretch… wait for playoffs!  Dress your back-ups back-up!  LET GRETZKY COACH.)

The Coyotes were missing Shane Doan, arguably the biggest cog in their team-first machine.  With him in the lineup, who’s to say how momentum changes?  Doan played like a man possessed when he was in the lineup, which would undeniably affected Detroits older d-corp over a long series.  It could have been one more straw on the back of Detroits camel (what?).

Oh we're so totally gonna hug right now.

Between the pipes, there’s only one play I’m pinning on the Almighty Bryz – Brad Stuart’s goal, which was Detroits fourth, scored in the period’s dying seconds, HAS to be stopped.  I realize it’s a breakaway and a tough save, but great goalies come up big in big moments, and that fourth goal was a twist of the knife in Phoenix’s side.  And it was Brad Stuart half-falling, not Pavel Datsyuk opening up before pulling it cross-crease.  Phoenix needed a save there, and when they didn’t get it, I would’ve flipped to a different game had one been on.

At the other end, Jimmy Howard made 32 saves in a one (bad) goal against performance.  If you’re like me, you didn’t feel fully comfortable that he would play well in there (the same way Luongo makes me feel).  And though he did play well (great at times), he had the luxury of not facing any tough shots until his team was up about three goals.  Not taking anything away from the guy (who again, 1.00 G.A. in his first game seven, rookie year), but it’s a little easier to play when the team in front of you looks like they put in a pre-game cheat code.

So that’s where it ends for this year’s Cinderella story.  The carriage is a pumpkin again, but good will come of this, Coyotes fans.  You guys got your team “back”, a lot of attention, and plenty of hope for the future.  And Wojtek Wolski!

(I’m writing a more thorough analysis for a column I’ve pitched to the AZ Republic as a bookend to my pre-season column.  I’ll keep you posted on that)

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As we move closer to round two’s start, I’ve been thinking about a comment the blog received yesterday (totally random thought before I forget – blog hits have been killer for a non-team-specific site.  Almost 9,000 hits last week or something like that, so thanks so much for your support.  And that includes you crazy Maple Leaf fans sent this way via DownGoesBrown).  It’s a valid point on why predictions are interesting to read – basically, it’s fun to assess what’s fair to expect, not what will happen.  The comment is towards the bottom, by reader “Brett”.  Check it out here.

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Mini preview, Capitals Habs:

Here’s what’s “fair to expect” tonight.

Underdogs often succeed by outworking the superior club that’s trying to get by on talent alone.  And thus far, Washington has tried to get by on talent alone.

Now it’s like the Capitals are in the library working on a bonus credit project they need just to pass at the end of the semester, while their friends are out drinking because their semester is over.  Had the Caps just done the work in the first place, they wouldn’t be in this situation.  (*author may or may not be able to relate to this)

Halak's eyes are on Ovy.

Anyways, if work ethic is equal, which it should be in a game seven, the Capitals will smoke the Habs like salmon, the same way Detroit showed who they really were when the chips were down.

The Caps, for all the unnecessary abuse they take {and they do take abuse, it’s crazy.  I’m no Caps fan, but it’s like old school hockey people are annoyed that they have the gall to think they can win playing a tic-tac-toe style over a (*coughslightly-more-Canadian*cough) boom-bam-hit-and-jam playoff style}, the Capitals have won some playoff games with this team. 

Their style is money.  If they had half a goalie, they’d be unstoppable (I guess Theodore is small enough to qualify for half).  For all of you that want less concussions and more skill, cheer for teams like the Capitals that apparently have a team-imposed “everyone touch it before we shoot” rule.  Something about their style reminds me of ultimate frisbee.

Halak looked unbeatable in game six, but that had to be a tiring night.  Players always have trouble falling asleep after high-intensity games - more on that in the future, it’s awful.  So he gets a short sleep, hops on a plane, maybe touches the ice once in two days before tonights game, and tries to give a repeat performance.  But if (no no, when), the Caps generate another 40-50 shots (money on the higher number there), I can’t see him doing it again unless he’s in crazy good shape.  Hey, maybe Price’s start will end up helping him in this series after all. 

Montreal has one thing Phoenix didn’t – a couple guys who can make game-breaking plays.  Cammalleri (and even Gomez if he blacks out) can do it.

Montreal’s best hope is to challenge Washington’s shaky goaltending and offense-first defenseman in the first period (after weathering the initial storm), and see if they can’t get one more out of a jello-legged Halak.  Cause you never know.  You never know.

But sometimes, you have a pretty good idea of what to expect.

5-2 Capitals.

Shark Psychology, Shane Doan’s Injury, and the Shake Weight

 (My lastest piece for The Hockey News is here, on fans implying the league is against their team.  Though I admit, there could be refs like Tim Donaghy trying to influence things for their own gain, THERE IS NO grandiose puppet-master pulling pro-Penguin strings.  Exhale.  Exhale.)  Follow me on Twitter here.

Today’s blog has the potential to be a bit weird.  Or at least angry.  I’m one of those people that allergy season treats about as well as Clark Gillies treated Ed Hospodar’s face (two-word hint: reconstructive surgery).

I spend about a month every year feeling like when you have a cold, and whichever side you lay on, your bottom nostril is plugged – only last night, I was priveleged to have both sides shut down.  So I sat on the couch at 3:45, started eating watermelon and started writing this, strictly because that seemed like a better option than the only other thing I could think of, sticking my head a blender and hitting “liquify”.

Before I launch into hockey playoffs – have you seen the actual commercial for the “shake weight”?  The first few times I saw the ads, I mumbled “wtf”, and chuckled like every other male on the planet.  For those of you who don’t care to follow that link, just know that the product SNL parodied is actually real.  Here’s the good stuff:

Ahhh, priceless.  SNL was gold last week.  If you’re a fan and missed it, you gotta check out Andy Samberg in the Hip Hop Kids skit.   “What’re the odds?!”    “…That a bear would be in a bear cave?  Like 100%!”

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Okay, on to hockey:

Daniel Carcillo reacts to scoring goals like Keanu Reeves reacts to going on totally excellent adventures.

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 The Sharks knotted their series up at two, after Joe “I’m getting a bit of a reputation for doing this” Pavelski buried one top corner on Craig “really, Brodeur’s year was better than mine?” Anderson.  And for the Sharks, thank god he did.

But if I’m in that San Jose room, I’m still a little rattled at going to overtime again.

Not seeing this nearly enough.

For an underdog to pull out a playoff upset, they need to get some bounces, and they need to get some calls.  Unlike the top dog, they know that every game is going to take maximum effort for them to have any hope of winning.

Even with that formula, in a best-of-seven series the underdog can’t get the breaks every night.  Usually along the way, like in the case of Washington/Montreal, the better team will just have one of those nights where they play to their potential, and win 5-1.  Or like how the Pens looked like defending Cup champs just a few nights after losing game one.  And I suspect one of these nights we’ll see the same thing in the Nashville/Chicago series, where they’ll play the type of game where the better roster gets some luck, brings their work ethic, and wins in convincing fashion.  Not saying Chicago will win the series (wait, yes I am), but they’ll have a night where they flex their muscles.

For San Jose, holy shit fellas, strike a pose. 

There hasn’t been a single game out of the four where a Heatley/Marleau/Thornton/Pavelski/Boyle-laden team can put together a convincing win?  I don’t care how good their goalie is, pick some corners, move the puck, what the f**k!

If you want any of us to believe in your squad (and you want to believe in yourselves), we gotta see some something bodybuilder-like, and soon.  Oil yourself up, get a fake tan, and flex those offensive muscles tomorrow.

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When Valterri Filpula banked the puck off the back of Bryzgalov, it landed on the goal line in the only conceivable way for it to not continue moving across the line, and I immediately thought the Coyotes were just destined to win.  Turns out, Jimmy Howard and Henrik Zetterberg had something to say about that.

(Phoenix takes the best overhead pics.  Love this one from game three.)

Two seconds PDF (Pre-Doan Face).

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 (DoanFace photoshop gallery)

As a hockey fan, it’s frustrating having Doan miss time in this series.  One, because no one in the entire NHL deserves playoff hockey more than him (and I mean that – he’s like Steve Nash.  98% of the league would have bailed on this organization for a better title shot by now), but also because I want what everyone else wants – a clear winner.  A way to say “this is the better team” definitively.  But Shane Doan is such a crucial piece of the Coyotes puzzle, the Red Wings getting wins with him not in the lineup feels like we all go cheated. (Rumour is he’ll play in game five, so yay to that!)

Kudos to the Red Wings though, they took care of business on home ice with the other team’s captain out, just like they’re supposed to.  And all the while, Zetterberg keeps performing like a first ballot Hall-of-Famer.

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So, this was brought to my attention yesterday: The Ref Cam.  It’s in a USHL game, Chicago vs. Green Bay.  We need more of this.

Can you imagine how much refs would resist a product that proves the offside they just whistled down was actually the wrong call, but the guy just made a panic decision?  Horrible feeling.  Thanks for the video, Jeff:

(What a toolbox reaction from the goalie)

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Before I shut’er down for the day, I need to say a major thank you to reader Steve Croteau.  Steve noticed that a couple times I’ve bitched about not actually having a computer, which means I wreck my fiancee’s all day, with a combination of food, grease and questionable downloads.

So, since his family was moving on to a new one, he sent me their old Dell, which works wonderfully (and only weighs slightly more than Todd Bertuzzi).  Now Bri and I can be on Facebook/Twitter at the same time and never talk, awesome.  Ooo, and I can live blog more now, cause she’ll have stuff to do.  So goooo Steve!  Thanks again, man.

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If you didn’t get enough randomness (or shake weightery) today, here’s an entertaining display from a couple of college baseball teams during a rain delay.  It’s worth a couple chuckles.

Couple Blurbs ‘N Links

I know it’s been a long time -  I shouldn’t have left you… without a dope beat to step to, but I was having some holiday hullabaloo with the fam.  Had my brother in town which was cool.  We rocked a lil Buck Hunter, a Coyotes game, hit the zoo, the whole deal.  I’m back on the Bourne’s Blog horse today.

Tyson’s Lolcat tribute:

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1000 NHL games.

The Coyotes game we went to was great.  Major thanks to Doug Moss for taking care of my family.  And congratulations to Shane Doan on his 1000th career game… that’s crazy man.  My Dad played 14 years and got to 962, and my father-in-law-to-be played 14 years and hit 958 (though it might be worth noting that they combined for over 300 playoff games too, compared to Shane’s 32, but still, wow…. his achievement makes me feel old, I feel like I remember his whole career.)

Far and away, the highlight of the game was the blanket giveaway – we had three girls at the game, and nothing ruins everyones mood like cold girls.  So that was sweet.

*mumbling* AlsotheCoyoteslookreallygoodthisyear,Ireallyamimpressed… it turns out I WAS WRONG.

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We have a gay superstar.  Only, not on this continent.  One of Rugby’s biggest stars, Gareth Thomas, has come out.

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You must be pining for a new column from me, it’s been ages.  It’s tough to focus on hockey around the holiday season.  Let me tell ya aboot the players take on how that goes.  (If you like the article, feel free to comment or click “recommend” – I’d love to contribute more to their newpaper than a column every two weeks.)

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He hangs out with richer people than me, it looks like.

Name-dropping:  I sent Goligoski a text complaining about his fantasy hockey performance of late (he’s been hurt a few times), and he told me to trade his stock while it’s still worth something, cause he sucks. 

What other sport do players so consistently turn to self-deprication?  I have to believe it’s because we play such a humbling sport.  Just when you think you’ve got it figured, some guy puts it through your wickets, you toe pick and chip a tooth.  Or this whole “nobody’s bigger than the game thing” is really working out well, one of the two.

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Oh, and then there’s this -  the puppy dog re-creation of the Snooki punch from that high-quality TV drama “Jersey Shore”.  Pure, unadulterated win.

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 More to come later – I gotta catch up on the work that earns me money!  Thanks for readin!

Homophobia in Hockey

I’m excited today.  My USA Today column on homosexuals in professional hockey is “out” this morning (did you gasp?  You gasped didn’t you.)  Major thank you’s to the people there for allowing me to run it, and for only editing out certain sentences, like, “I’ve said fag more times than a British smoker”, which was at one point my entire intro paragraph.  Please give it a read people, I think I make a fair point.

Secondly, Bourne’s Blog had it’s best reader comment ever, in regards to head injuries.  Verbatim, jbrown:

This is what watching game 73 of 162 on TV feels like.

“We’ve covered NFL and NHL in this thread, but what about MLB? Baseball is responsible for some of the worst head injuries around. The other day I accidentally left the TV on Sportsnet and the World Series was on when I walked by. I vaguely recall being overcome with an intense malaise and dizzying level of apathy. When I came to, I was laying on the ground beside the coffee table with a small cut on my forehead.” 

I still can’t read that without laughing. 

I’m not sure what’s happening with me and baseball.  It makes no sense that I can love to play a sport so much, and have so much fun going to a game in person, yet can’t watch so much as a full inning of the World Series final on TV, even with two of the leagues most interesting teams playing.

I literally found it hard to flip back to the baseball game last night because the football game was so good, and the Coyotes were tied 3-3 in the third.  That’s how I knew I was really over baseball on TV.

HD TV has done well by so many sports, but I think baseball needs to go back to low-def.  Maybe seeing guys eating Spitz and not paying attention to their own game takes some of the fire out of it for me.  Imagine eating seeds on the bench in hockey?  You’d choke and die.  Hearing that Manny took a shower mid-game last series says a lot about baseball, unfortunately.

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Some quick hits:

...thinking "boy-oh-boy do I like finishing my checks and playing defensively responsible hockey"

The Coyotes were one win away from a blogged apology last night.  I saw they were up 3-1, and I wrote in my phone “admit you were wrong to Coyotes fans tomorrow”.  Then they puked on their shoes.  Now you’re going to have to wait a little longer for that apology.  …I hear a rattling… did a few screws get loosened around the bandwagon wheels?

Here’s the problem with this – I moved here intending to like the Coyotes, but I “knew” they were going to be bad.  So I wrote my opinion.  Now, they have a fast, hardworking, probably likable team (Shane Doan as the superstar made me type “likable” while cringing.  Nice guy, but as exciting as beige), but I want my prediction to come true, so I root against them.  At the very least, I offer the fans this:  I’ll stop rooting against them.  There.  That’s what you get.

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In hockey, did you know team bus drivers honk the horn twice when pulling away from an arena after a road win?  Wasn’t sure if fans knew that or not.  Every level, every team.

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Blog would have been up earlier, but I google imaged "tartan skirt". My bad.

In reference to a Paul Shirley tweet, isn’t it amazing that any Catholic school anywhere still makes teenage girls wear Tartan skirts as a uniform?  Are they that socially oblivious to what those have come to represent?

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Is switch-hitting the most impressive thing in sports?  It has my vote.  I can’t imagine the spinal damage I’d incur trying to hit a slider left-handed.

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I tweeted this in the past (God we need a better word for microblogs), but in the cap era of team building, is prolonged suckage the best path to success?  Isles are 4-0-2 in their last six, the Pens have been in two finals in two years, and the Blackhawks might win the Presidents trophy.  And those three teams sucked, sucked and sucked the first half of this decade.

Weird, the case was made by a UNH alum.

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I had someone make the case to me about James Van Riemsdyk in Philly being a potential Calder Trophy winner.  I’m sold.  Seven points in his last six, and looking like he’s just getting more comfortable.

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That’s all for today.  Again, check out my USA Today piece, and let me know what you’re thoughts on the issue are.  Preferably on their site, not this one.  Thanks!