New Puck Daddy: hey, your boy’s on the main Yahoo! sports page today apparently, wwwwwhut’s up. On coaches willingness to adapt, and why Tampa needs to throw a new look at Boston for a few periods in game three. (Puck Daddy – post up a little later than usual today)

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Yesterday, notoriously wise offensive threat Ben Eager played like a moron. (/Reads over post from two days ago, starts fresh).

In last night’s game, Ben Eager took some really un-wise penalties that cost his team, and didn’t represent himself very well in the process (especially the part where he talked smack to Luongo after he pulled his team within four, which is widely considered to be the worst lead in absolutely nothing).

Playing with a meathead teammate is tough, because you know them so well off the ice.  But often, they keep doing things that make you go “y’know, I just never associate Off-Ice You with whoever that guy is.”

Solid beard.

The tough part is, you can often feel it coming, like they just get a look in their eye or something, but you’re still not allowed to Minority Report them and give them shit.  Comments like “take it easy out there, don’t do anything stupid” don’t imply that you respect their level of intelligence or commitment to the team very much, so they get snappy.  As a guy who, 90% of the time was one of the more cool heads on the bench, I’ve been told to shut the truck up more than a few times.

And regardless of if something gets said in advance or not - and again, you can see it coming (hell, we can often see it coming from our homes watching TV) – your Dan Carcillo or Ben Eager or Micheal Haley or Whoever is going to act anyway.  It’s an incredible phenomenon that these guys are almost oblivious to their own very obvious anger.  They just get lost in the moment.

I don’t give those guys a lot of credit, as others do, for “pre-meditating” their madness – I don’t think Eager saw Bieksa fight Marleau and thus vowed to run a Sedin.  I think watching Marleau fight a guy who probably shouldn’t fight him made him angry, and he would’ve thrown that hit on whomever happened to be in his way, because he was upset.  Anger makes logic go bye-bye, and since physical play is part of his role, we end up with stuff like this:

 As many of the Canucks said (I think they probably talked about this after the game), they didn’t think the hit was suspension-worthy.  I doubt they say that in the regular season, but given that it’s playoffs?  They WANT that dude in the lineup. 

Sure, he’s scary to play – a man of that size that skates like that is an absolute force, but anytime you have a guy who’s willing to let the Sedins run a powerplay on his short-handed teammates repeatedly, you want him to stay in the lineup.

But anyway, enough about the guy - anyone think the Sharks are going to make this series interesting?

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Well, it appears the Habs are out to make me look like an asshole…. again.  If you remember last year (or saw the comment on yesterday’s post), last year I predicted the Habs to get beat by the Capitals in….three games.  Not even four, I was so sure the Caps would steamroll them.  And we all know how that turned out – the Habs made the Eastern Conference final.

I picked them again to get swept, and again, they come out and win.  Brutes.

Anyway, at least it’ll make for an interesting series (as long as they lose in the end so I can collect on my bet about them, y’know, losing in the first round).

As for the other gambly updates: Jordan Staal had an apple in game one, so that’s good.  Three bottom seeded teams won, which doesn’t scare me all that much.  And we’ll find out more tonight if the series I predicted to go long can get knotted up!

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I thought this was a great pic of one of the Gillies three Newfoundlands, the eldest, Hunter:

Hunty-hoo. Big boah.

Good lookin’ ol fella.

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So Joe Pavelski got it done for the San Jose Sharks last night, which is not out of the ordinary for him.  He was money in last year’s playoffs, and it reminded me of a little story from college.

My freshman year of college, we beat the Wisconsin Badgers in a best of three at the Kohl Center to go to the Final Five in St. Paul.  We were an eight-seed, and they were the three-seed.  My sophomore year, we met in playoffs again as the same seeds…..only they had Joe Pavelski now.

Great picture, no?

I can’t explain why, but we had them on the ropes again.  We lost game one after blowing a third period lead, but came out the next night and took it to them to knot the series up at three (BTW, we played this series in some other rink in Wisconsin that looked like Madison Square Garden on the inside, if Madison Square Garden was weird. Dane County something-or-other?).

Well, we actually got off to a good start, when one of our lower line guys scored a short-handed goal on a pure breakaway snipe.  By the third period, we were up 4-2. 

And then we got Pavelski’d, and never made it to overtime.

It wasn’t just that he took the game over (I’m pretty sure he had three points in the third period of their 5-4 win), it was the way he did it.  I have to describe his goal that either tied it or put them ahead (it all blends together now):

So, our d-men are doing a good job keeping him on the paint in our zone – he’s got solid possession in the corner, and somehow, through a poor switch or a good move, he ends up getting an opening to take the puck to the net.  He’s still behind the goal line though, so he could go in front or behind.

At one point, he looks like he’s going to go deeper behind the goal line and take the puck behind the net.  He’s a righty, coming from the right, so when the puck is on his forhand, it’s near the boards.

But as he’s skating towards the cage, he brings it way across to his backhand – maybe six inches above the goal line – and in a smooth stick-handle, goes backhand-crossbar-down with his skates still at least a foot behind the goal-line.  Nobody had a sniff what happened it was so slick.

It was our “well, we just don’t have talent like that on our team, good for you assholes” moment.

The guy is clutch, has been clutch, and will always be clutch.  Dude can flat-out play.

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TGIF.  Yessssssss….

New Puck Daddy: a look inside the pre-playoff series meetings teams have

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If you missed it, yesterday I wrote about the interesting stories I’ll be keeping an eye on from the five playoff series that started yesterday.  Today, I’ll be doing the same for the other three.  Without further ado….. MORE PLAYOFFS!

(2) Philadelphia Flyers vs. (7) Buffalo Sabres

Two things immediately spring to mind: the phrase “upset watch” and the Philadelphia Flyers goaltending.  If you’re as sick of hearing about it as I am mentioning it, blame Philly’s GM, not me.  It’s quite possible that the two things I just mentioned go hand-in-hand.

Sabres were solid down the stretch, Flyers, nahsomuch.

Let me be clear: I don’t think the Sabres will beat the Flyers.  Philly’s forwards are as deep – okay, deeper – than any other team in the NHL (Boston is in the conversation), and their defense is just too good, even with Pronger out.  Yes, they will have a tough time getting pucks behind Ryan Miller, but you may have noticed Buffalo is a seven-seed — as in, he’s been scored on before.

I’ll be watching to see if Bobrovsky can keep enough pucks out of the Flyers net to help the team avoid getting that upset seed planted in their head.  If he let’s a few shaky ones in during the series’ first contest or Buffalo wins game one…. things will be a lot more interesting.

Underlying story: What the shit happened to the Flyers down the stretch?  You want to peak at the right time, and they seemed like they were dragging their asses through a rut down the homestretch.  I’m curious to see if it was the fact that they didn’t have a meaningful game for like, two months, or if something has seriously gone awry with that team.  More reason to keep this series on upset alert.

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(2) San Jose Sharks vs. (7) Los Angeles Kings

You know what I’m curious about?  If there’s any plausible reason we can dig up to say LA could win more than one game.  The statement Dean Lombardi has made over the past couple years – trying to bring in a big name like Kovalchuk, Iginla, just anyone who could provide some offensive help – leads me to believe he has a pretty good idea of where they need help to win.

Their talent isn't too old to win.... yet.

Then Kopitar gets hurt, and they’re left with…. Dustin Penner.

This, for the Sharks, could be like going through one of those arrow things in Mario Cart that gives you a burst of speed heading into playoffs.  As Dave Lozo told us, you either win early in round one or you don’t win the Stanley Cup (“The last 32 teams to win their first-round series in seven games have failed to win the Stanley Cup.“).  They could polish off LA early, rest up, and make a push.

Will the Kings give their fans some breath of hope, somehow, some way?

Underlying story: For me, two little stories: one, the Sharks killed it in the second half of the NHL season, so my question is, could this team be way better than most people think?  They’re still pretty stacked.

And two, Antti Niemi.  He’s taken slow but steady steps towards being one of the NHL’s elite goaltenders.  Another solid playoff run would have him cemented there for years to come.  Without being flashy, might we be watching one of the NHL’s best emerge?

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(3) Boston Bruins vs. (6) Montreal Canadiens

I’m excited to see if the Canadiens have any push-back in them.  I know I’ve been very outspoken about this series, but it’s for a reason – I just can’t find a reason to believe the Habs could beat the Bruins, for one simple fucking reason: the Bruins have better players.  Phew – how’s that for in-depth analysis?

These teams? They no like each otha.

It’s not even close.  And the Bruins have the most intimidating team in the league to top it off, because their tough guys can play.  They don’t have to send a brainless thug out there to get justice, they inflict pain just with the natural way their players play, and that’s no fun in a seven game series. 

Milan Lucic and Nathan Horton combined for 206 PIMS (for context, Clark Gillies never got 100 PIMS in a season), and these two combined for 56 goals on top of that.  Cammalleri and Plecanec scored a combined 41(in 15 less games) and are more one-dimensional players.

The Habs have a couple more players with Cup experience, so basically, the story I’m most interested in (much like the San Jose/LA series) is if there’s any reason to believe the Habs have a shot.  Maybe it’s that experience (I think they have four guys with Cups versus the B’s two), but thus far, I can’t convince myself that they won’t be overwhelmed in four or five games.

Underlying story: The interesting names in this series.  Can Tim Thomas play like he did during the regular season in playoffs, or will it be Tuuka Time before it’s all said and done?  Will Tomas Kaberle have a shot at his first Cup?  How will he hold up under the pressure?  Can Carey Price stay in the good graces of Habs fans? 

There’s just a lot of fun NHL stars to track in this one.  Can’t wait to see what unfolds.

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Night one of the NHL playoffs was as fun as to be expected.  Four of my five series winner picks won (save for Tampa), so we’re off to a good start.  I’ll check in on my gambling status early next week.  Enjoy tonight!

New Puck Daddy: on getting cute with the puck, featuring a goal by Mattias Tendenby, and a turnover by Ilya Kovalchuk

Oh, and from yesterday….

The Hockey News: me once again railing about “shoot from everywhere” being stupid - it actually relates nicely to today’s PD piece, in that it leads to a point - if guys need to shoot less and wait for better scoring chances in today’s NHL, then guys who are good at “getting cute” have more value.

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Okay, should I drop the Jiggs pictures on you now, or wait?  Let’s start with one, then some hockey, then a few more.  Lots to discuss today. 

I give you…. JIGGS!

All ur hartz are belong to meee

Dude is a maniac. Got his paw inexplicably stuck in chair thingy, wedged it in so good I had to pry it out.

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So, the St. Louis Blues acquired Kyle Wellwood from wherever the hell he was, and as is protocol, they had to run him through waivers first.  San Jose picked him up, and now St. Louis gets a kick in the nads, and the Sharks get a hockey player.

Really dude, a wood blade?

Whatever the reason is for teams to do this to STL, whether it’s to fortify their own rosters or keep St. Louis’ depleted, it’s stupid that it can happen.

First off, offer sheets are a taboo in the league, but this isn’t?  I realize the guy isn’t officially on the first team that claims him (as the offer sheeted player is), but how silly is it that the other teams can sit back and poach a player nobody wanted until they did?

The best idea we cooked up on twitter (we being friend of the blog, Kennedy aka @skennedy39) is that that the NHL should make the new team, in this case San Jose, at least have to pay, say, 5% more than St. Louis was going to (the minimum).  And then you offer St. Louis the chance to re-raise on that another 5%, so that the team who’s serious enough about wanting the player can still attain him, and the guy getting signed gets what he deserves.  If multiple people want you, you earn more money, that’s the supply and demand of sports.

When this shit happens, I can’t help but think of whoever the call-up 4th liner on the Blues is, who’s making three grand EVERY DAY he’s on an NHL roster (where he probably makes $70k in the AHL), so he’s on a roller coaster.

We acquired Wellwood?  Fak.  Back to the minors.

The Sharks claimed him?!

And then he celebrates like PK Subban after an overtime winner (which I loved, by the way.  Sick wrister, sick celly).  And of course, the reverse is going on over in San Jose.

The Sharks making some changes, hey?  And good on ‘em.  If you suck, somethings gotta give.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve gotta say about that, it just seems ridiculous that it can happen.  And while we’re talking SJ, check out this pic I took of a dude with a chopper and  a Sharks tattoo….think he’s a fan?

It's actually a damn cool tattoo

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In other news, there were rumours Crosby might hold out of the all-star game because he’s bitter about head shots.  Turns out it was just complete speculation from one slightly convoluted “opinion piece” by David Shoalts.

The reason I knew that wouldn’t happen and immediately shook my head at the rumour: Crosby doesn’t make waves, he avoids them.  This would be completely unprecedented.  And if there’s anything we’ve come to expect from Sid, it’s same ‘ol same ‘ol, evvvverrrryyyday.

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If you like twitter and sports, I recommend checking out the website www.quickish.com – it’s like twitter, only you don’t participate.  Basically, it’s a sports news aggregator that provides links to stories and quotes of interest around all the major sports and college leagues.  It doesn’t have a ton of hockey, but it’s branched out into “some” since launching I think a week ago.

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The NHL All-Star game captains have been named: Eric Staal and Nick Lidstrom.

So now they’ll flip a coin and start picking players – I’m really excited about that part, but not the captains, just because they’re a couple of guys who say the right things, and are in general polite dudes.  I was hoping for a little more chaos than I expect out of those two, but still, excited to watch the whole thing go down.

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And for the finale….let’s get Jiggy with it:

Tha boys

Tyson giving us the "what the fuck did you bring into my kingdom?" look.

Day four, as close as they've ever got. Jiggs snuck in there while Ty was out.

Last one, for now

Have a solid Tuesday folks, see ya tomorrow.

So, does Darren McCarty not have teeth, or does he just choose not to wear them?  And as a follow up, which of those two things would be more messed up?

Suit, check. Shaved, check. Teeth, f**k it.

On the “doesn’t have them” hand, he’s just said eff it.  I’m not doin’ the whole teeth thing.  People know I played hockey, they know I was a tough, they don’t expect me to have any chompers.  It’s a hassle, it’s expensive, I’m just not doin’ it.  I don’t care if I’m an analyst with Versus.  I’m not going through with it. (note: I actually like having him on the panel there.  A little personality never hurt anyone.)

On the ”chooses not to wear them” hand, he’s completely socially oblivious.  Because he knows enough to have the teeth, but doesn’t think TV is the right time to be wearing them.  He’s gone through the whole procedure.  Dentist appointments, fittings, root canals, who knows.  But he deems national television an unworthy tooth-sporting event.  I guess he didn’t think many people were gonna see him.  After all, he is on Versus.  BOOM!  So if not then…. WHEN?

My best guess:  He knows he looks better with them in, but they inhibit his ability to speak clearly.  You know, without having a lisp or something.  (Which probably just comes from getting your brain puchisized for free for a dozen+ years, but hey, I’m fine with blaming the teeth.)

{Random tooth tale: My college teammate got a new retainer-style front jib right before our road trip to Minneapolis.  We went out that night after our game for his 21st birthday.  Gets cross-eyed drunk (t-bombs at Brothers), goes home and pukes in the little hotel garbage can by the desk.  The next day, he wakes up at 4:45 hungover as all hell and frantic about missing our 5:00 a.m. team bus.  He throws his stuff together but can’t find his tooth.  So he has to check, y’know?  Nauseous and near-puking, he looks in the can and sees a glimmer of steel from the retainer of his front tooth.  ….And plunges his hand in.  GAG.}

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Sharks/Wingys

Last night the Detroit Red Wings blew a two-goal lead at home to the always clutch, unwaveringly relentless Joe Thornton and Patrick Marleau.  You just can’t beat consistency when it comes from team leaders.  (“…well you should, cause I’m layin’ it on pretty thick.”)

Great goal. 

Frankly, Jimmy Howard let them down.  I don’t care how many great saves he made over the course of the night – the Shark’s first tally in the dying seconds of the first period was a terrible, momentum-swinging moment, and the goal line sneaker is, as usual, frowned upon.

For my money, Marleau wasn't NEARLY excited enough after scoring.

I swear to god, when it was 2-0 Wings I almost tweeted “Was there anyone out there who didn’t think the Wings were going to pump San Jose tonight?”  And really, it still would’ve been a fair question.  Didn’t we all think that the first game at the Joe was going to be an “oh yeahhhh, now I remember, the RED WINGS, right…” night?

But  San Jose didn’t give up against a tough team in their home barn, and the big boys answered the bell when it was rung.  If you’re a Bill Simmons reader, you know the value of them somehow having the “no one believed in us” factor (the same way the Coyotes did), despite being a one seed.  That’s a dangerous combination, no?

Two things: 

1) Sometimes when a team is down 3-0, you can pretty much stop watching the series.  But with the reputations of these two teams (choking dogs, straight-up winners, respectively), doesn’t this kinda fit the formula for a series that could still get real scary, real quick, IF yaknowhatImean?  I say the Red Wings win the next game handily, like, 4-1 or so, just to make even the most ardent Sharks supporter poop just a little.

2) In fairness, San Jose does look like the team who’ll be moving on, which makes me uber-excited for the Western Conference finals.  Either series would be awesome (vs. Van or vs. Chi), because all three teams have fan bases and teams that can never seem to get over the hump, but deserve to.  Looking into the future: I think I’d pick the Sharks to beat Chicago, but not Vancouver.  I’ll explain when the time comes.

Pitt beats Montreal two-spit

Thus far, this series is only interesting for Penguins and Habs fans, which is probably somewhere near 50% of the total fans of the sport thanks to bandwagonners and traditionalists.  Watching the Habs is like watching a cup-winning Devils team, only without the confidence.

And really, that’s it: Montreal is playing this well because they lack confidence (umm, and they’re smart), so that know they have to play the perfect team defensive game to have any hope.  Whiiiiich they keep doing.  So when they run into a hot (decent?) goalie, the mere 18 shots they’ve generated in two of the four games is simply not going to get it done, even with shutting down the Penguins high-flyin’ offense.

Just another Mexican-Alaskan spending the lockout in the ECHL

Sorry Habs fans, but you’ve got too much skill and talent on that team to be this boring.  This isn’t who you are. 

Last thought: How badly do you think Scott Gomez’s career highlight reel was squashed by being at his peak during “The Devils Years”? (Which is a memory that makes most hockey fans shudder).  I may have said this before, but if I could pick any guy to carry the puck in on the powerplay, I’m going with him.  He’s just so light on his skates, man.

*****

That’s all for today people.  Join me at 1PM EST on Puck Daddy’s site for a playoff hockey chat.  I’ll be saying things like “oh big time”, “but that’s just not true” and maybe even “arrrriba!”  Don’t miss out.

The floor is now yours to discuss McCarty’s teeth.

I did a bad job of explaining my predictions before the second round (less “bad job” and more “completely didn’t do it”), and now I have the advantage of having seen a game from each series.  So, my bad on that.  Thus, in the interest of keeping this entry from War and Peace-like length, I’ll cut to the chase on why I picked whom.

I picked Detroit, and explained it was because I can’t pick against The Zettersyuk.  I intend to do an old school, serious piece of prose about the poetic way Datsyuk plays later today.  Sheer artistry.

Boy, I never want this to happen again. ...wish I was on THAT team...

I picked Vancouver on the Luongo-is-better-than-Niemi tiebreaker, and because I only recently discovered that bandwagon Blackhawks fans are plutonium-level-volatile right now.  They’re entering the “holy crap, if we don’t win this year….” panic phase , where they’re studying salary cap rules at all hours of the night, and realizing that Hossa is basically becoming a one-man Buffalo Bills of the early ’90′s. WIDE RIGHT!  WIDE RIGHT!

I picked Pittsburgh because…. forget it, same reasons you did.

I picked Boston on the Rask-is-better-than-Boucher tiebreaker, and because Jeff Carter and Simon Gagne aren’t playing.  Also because Philly likes effing with it’s own fans by pretending it wants to win the cup, when really all the owners want is to get deep enough to get a few more home games for revenue. (Emery is out for the year?  It’s trade deadline time?  I have an idea…. what it we ride out this average goalie/great team thing and see where it takes us?  Haven’t tried that yet.)

I will say this about the Boston/Philly series – I would have predicted these two teams to be in the second round at the start of the year.  Surprisingly, they both struggled during the regular season, but I do actually think they’re more than capable of being competitive with the best teams.  The right eight teams made it from the East, and if you had looked at the rosters they went with for playoffs like eight months ago, you probably would’ve picked Boston to beat Buffalo, and Philly to beat Jersey.

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During Olympic time, I wrote a blog on Luongo the night before the gold medal game, on the topic of him making me feel slightly uneasy when he’s in net, for whatever reason.  (I took it down for fear of looking like a dissident at such a positive time.)

Guh. Aeweh.

To me, this is his career-defining series. 

Team vs. team, Chicago and Vancouver are pretty even – maybe Chicago is a little better.  Vancouver’s advantage is supposed to be in net.  When he’s won, he’s almost always had the better team.  When he’s lost, he’s almost always had the worse team.  He’s not getting any younger, and this is one of the first occasions I can remember that it’s his series to win or lose. 

If he wants to be the player Canuck fans think he is, now is his time to shine, like the bright lights hitting his greasy hair.

*****

My buddy bought a Phoenix Coyotes playoff ticket package, which for those of you that don’t know, means you buy them right through game seven of the finals.  If your team doesn’t make it that far, you get reimbursed.

If they don’t call him soon to offer him tickets for next year instead of just sending him a cheque back (which it appears they’re going to do), it’ll be disheartening as a guy rooting for the team to succeed here.  Coyote’s marketing: he’d take the tickets, I’m telling you.  Make those calls while their season is fresh in everyone’s mind.  DO THIS RIGHT!

*****

The guys from PTI asked Dwight Howard to pick who he thought should be the league MVP, and he named two players, neither of which were Lebron.  What a hater.

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I’ve seen the Marc Savard reaction to his overtime winner about eighty-hundred times thus far, and I’m still 100% on getting chills.  I love that shit.  Great stick-to-crowd toss.

"Back in black (hit the sack) been too long I'm glad to be back"

*****

I just found out that Jaroslav Halak made 800K this year.  Vesa Toskala made 4SHMIL.  If you believe that there’s any justice in the universe, expect a bank error in Halak’s favour, where he collects 3.2 million, then passes GO for an extra 200 bucks.

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Have to mention this (sorry in advance): yesterday I heard “throwing the snake” used as the all-time-funniest euphemism EVAR.  Some guy, just off the cuff: I bet Jim Ballsillie is so depressed after losing the Coyotes he just sits around “throwing the snake” all day, if you know what I’m sayin’.

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And last but not least, some quick thoughts on each series for ya, while I’m on my way out the door:

San Jose/Detoit:  San Jose has had success so far in playoffs with the complete and utter absence of it’s best players.  Last night, Thornton got the GWG and Heatley had three assists.  This should scare a lot of teams in the West, like say, Detroit.

Vancouver/Chicago: Don’t expect another VanCity beat down.  That Chicago team is too talented, cocky and proud to get run-over like a dog on the highway again.  They need their young gunners to act like THIS DOG and pull them in the right direction, as I fully expect them to do.

Montreal/Pittsburgh: Hey, lookit them Canadiens go. Part of the reason Detoit is so good is because they’ve always been able to get offense from skill (Datsyuk/Zetterberg) or grit (Holmstrom/Franzen).  Jordan Staal was the second part of Pittsburghs offensive equation (and the first part of its defensive one).  Washington didn’t have a second way to score against Halak, and I think it’ll really hurt Pitt that they lost a big chunk of their second style too.  Seems like Halak can make every first save in the book, and Montreal’s D is doing a great job of clearing away second chance opportunities.

Philly/Boston:  The best news for Pittsburgh, who will eventually win that series or I’m folding my blog and becoming a monk, is that this Philly/Boston series is close, so it’s going to be a war.  The teams hate each other.  It’s a battle of attrition, and the winning side is going to limp in front of the conference-finals-firing-squad on one limb.  Pittsburgh, Merry Christmas…. you’re in the finals.

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In case you missed it:  On Friday I uncovered footage of Ovechkin and the evil genius boss who sent him to Earth to capture the Stanley Cup.  You can watch it here.

The Brooks Laich changing a tire story is great.  Our tendancy is to blow things out of proportion, so lets not do that here – it was just a really refreshing thing to hear.  As I’ve been saying, it makes me proud to be a hockey player.  Or maybe just a human.

Laich

I learned to change a tire in the summer of 2008, because I read somewhere it’s one of the basic things you need to be able to do to consider yourself a man.  That, tie a tie, and something else…. climb a frozen waterfall in bowling shoes or something.

The year I was taught (and by “taught”, I mean holy-crap-its-so-easy-Paula-Abdul-could-figure-it-out) I was staying at the Gillies and training before my AHL tryout with the Hershey Bears.  Mapquest told me it was about five hours from Long Island, and our check-in and first meeting was around 3:00PM.  I was on the road by 7:30AM to give myself lots of time.  Sadly, my GPS took me down Manhattan’s 34th Avenue, which slowed me considerably.  The second I got through the Holland Tunnel, I saw open road, and hit the gas.  Got ‘er right up to 70 before hitting a pothole deeper than a Jack Handy thought.  Immediately, my car started pulling hard to the right.  F**k.

I’m talkin’, car packed with literally everything I owned, and I had to unload the trunk to get at the spare.  Baseball glove, lamps, pillows, the works.

Anyway, because I knew what to do, I coasted into town on a bike tire just in time to check-in, and start the hellacious injury-riddled season that led to me being a writer.  Shoulda known that was “don’t go” sign.  At least I got a Hershey chocolate bar at check-in, I guess.

Wonder if the climate in SJ is better than his college days at Wisco

(1) San Jose Sharks vs. (5) Detroit Red Wings 

This is a tough one to call, because of the mental gift the Sharks have been given; this time, hardly anyone expects them to win.

Even though they’re the one seed, they’re playing the perceived one seed.  And for Thronton, Boyle and crew, they’ve never had the luxury of even semi-underdog status before.  70% of people are picking Detroit to win, which is SO. NICE. if you’re on San Jose.  It free’s you up to just play.  Not sure why it’s different, but it is.

So then it’s obvious that I’m picking…..

DETROIT IN SEVEN

Wait, what?  Here’s how I made my pick:

Goaltending: It’s a pick ‘em, as far as I’m concerned.  Evgeni Nabakov is supposed to be better, and has lots of experience.  Unfortunately, he hasn’t exactly built a reputation as a clutch playoff performer during those experiences.  And we have no idea about Howard in playoffs yet.  We do know that in the same game he can be good, he can give up a shot off the draw to Vernon Fiddler that hasn’t gone in since pee wee hockey.  Sure, it’s a factor that could affect the series if one guy gets too hot or too cold, but I’m expecting them both to be right around par.

Defense: Slight edge to Detroit.  Studs like Lidstrom and Rafalski are getting a little older, but they can still get it done.  Niklas Kronwall is one of my new favourite players (I LOVE THIS COMMERCIAL), and Brad Stuart is above average.  San Jose has Dan Boyle, but after that all you have is the corpse of Rob Blake and Douglas Murray.

Oh right, thaaat's what scoring feels like.

Offense: Both teams have great forwards, just in different ways.  Datsyuk and Zetterberg are unlike any other two forwards in the NHL – talented, shifty, f***ing crazy smart, and defensively aware.  San Jose’s top dogs are good at… getting goals.  But, there is three of them.  Then there’s the bonus guy: Joe Pavelski.  He’s the wild card (who’s off to a great start in the series) that can put SJ over the top.  Can he keep being super-human?  Will Detroits gritty studs (Holmstrom and Franzen) prove to be too playoff-built to be stopped? WILL I STOP ASKING RHETORICAL QUESTIONS?  (I only “kinda like” this commercial in comparison, but still good)

Coach: Babcock.  BabcockBabcockBabcock.  I’d pick him vs. a super-coach that combined the know-how of Scotty Bowman, Phil Jackson and Bill Belichick.  Mclellan is apparently a good coach, but Mike B could coach the Jersey Shore cast into British accents.

So, when it came down Detroit’s experience and confidence vs. San Jose’s first crack at mental underdoggery, I gotta take the uber-beast, Zetsyuk.  Datsberg.  Whatever…. they are just way too special to pick against.

Other series predictions explained later, but I’ve picked Boston, Pittsburgh and Vancouver for my other three.  The Vancouver pick goes against everything I said about Chicago all year, but after watching a series where goaltending mattered so much (the Halak v Varladore trial), I’m taking Luongo over Niemi every time.

TGIF, kids.  Our weekend plans have been taken care of with the $26 we spent yesterday – a $13 inflatible pool float with a cup holder, and 18 Coors light for $13.  Weeee!

*****

One more thing – Just tinkering around this morning, and I discovered a lil conversation between Ovechkin and the evil genius from his home planet, who sent him to Earth to capture the elusive Stanley Cup.  It’s pretty intense.  Watch it here.

Happy Friday folks.  And believe me, it is a happy one over here!  My SOB of a brother is staying with Bri and I until Tuesday (wait… sorry mom). 

Jeff, at my neighborhood pub, Nates Third Base

You may remember Jeff from earlier blogs.  Like his coverage of the paralympics, or that time he stopped breathing a few months ago and almost died, or where I explained that sledge hockey is a well-organized car accident.  Or, you Isles fans may remember him from my Dad’s Islanders-Hall-of-Fame induction, where the team donated Jeff the money for a new, multi-thousand dollar sled for sledge hockey, which he promptly used to t-bone my uber-ghetto sled and nearly made me need my own wheelchair.  (Who needs gifts when you get to shake Alexi. Freakin’. Yashin’s hand.  *gasps, fans himself, faints.)

Either way, we’re extremely pumped to have him – wasn’t sure he was gonna make it there for a bit, now the guy’s got a new shunt and he’s brand spankin’ new.  Crazy.  I mean, overnight, the guy got a new lease on life.  Miraculous.

Anyways, we’ll be sitting at McFadden’s outside Jobing.com Arena tonight before/during the Coyotes/Red Wings game (sold out of accessible seats, boo), so feel free to come say hello if you see us.

HOCKEY!

As the New Jersey Devils remembered last night, the moment your season ends is surreal.

You’re sitting in your stalls, largely in silence.  Okay, complete silence, except for that one guy who has to be different, and is taking the tape off his socks.  Nobody wants to be the first guy to take his jersey off.  After an extended period of time, coach makes some statement to the team, usually the nicest stuff he’s said all year (unless you’re a two-seed that loses in five games).

And the finger pointing starts.... now.

I mean, anytime Logan Couture and Dwight Helminen can take the game over (and your big line gets the chance to score meaningless goals again), you have to be impressed….. don’t you?  No?  Hmm.

Well, either way, they are still a one seed, which means if (sorry, when) they get by the Avs, they would draw the lowest seeded team left.  Whoooo you probably wouldn’t pick them to beat anyways.  Ah well.  At least it won’t be a total post-season write off this year.  It’ll be like a serious car accident where nobody dies – it was horrible, but at least there’s some upside.  No one died.

*****

The only team I’ve probably been harder on this year than the Coyotes has been the Senators.  I’ve yet to give the Sens an ounce of respect.  As far as I’m concerned, they have a couple good forwards, solid defense, and mediocre goaltending.  Not exactly the formula for a fear-inducing playoff team.  Plus, fifth in the Eastern Conference rarely equals “Cup contender”.

But still, good for them for not rolling over in Pittsburgh last night.  They came to play and managed to squeak it out.  But, unfortunately, just as Sens fans (MikeB) would expect, I’m chalking that one as a loss to Pittsburgh, not a win for the Sens.  I don’t care who you’re playing, if you win the Cup the year before, and have the chance to close out your round one opponent at home in game five and blow it…. yikes.  I got a dollar that says a Penguins player gets hurt tonight and misses game one of round two.  Karma for not closing.

*****

Time to walk to get bagels and coffee with Jeff.  Tough life, this blogging (as I overdraft and end up paying $38 for my bagel and coffee.  Maybe it is a tough life.)

As a tribute to my bro, here’s the type of stuff he loves.  He couldn’t wait to have me watch this.  Jeff loves “…my brain hurts…”

 (My lastest piece for The Hockey News is here, on fans implying the league is against their team.  Though I admit, there could be refs like Tim Donaghy trying to influence things for their own gain, THERE IS NO grandiose puppet-master pulling pro-Penguin strings.  Exhale.  Exhale.)  Follow me on Twitter here.

Today’s blog has the potential to be a bit weird.  Or at least angry.  I’m one of those people that allergy season treats about as well as Clark Gillies treated Ed Hospodar’s face (two-word hint: reconstructive surgery).

I spend about a month every year feeling like when you have a cold, and whichever side you lay on, your bottom nostril is plugged – only last night, I was priveleged to have both sides shut down.  So I sat on the couch at 3:45, started eating watermelon and started writing this, strictly because that seemed like a better option than the only other thing I could think of, sticking my head a blender and hitting “liquify”.

Before I launch into hockey playoffs – have you seen the actual commercial for the “shake weight”?  The first few times I saw the ads, I mumbled “wtf”, and chuckled like every other male on the planet.  For those of you who don’t care to follow that link, just know that the product SNL parodied is actually real.  Here’s the good stuff:

Ahhh, priceless.  SNL was gold last week.  If you’re a fan and missed it, you gotta check out Andy Samberg in the Hip Hop Kids skit.   “What’re the odds?!”    “…That a bear would be in a bear cave?  Like 100%!”

*****

Okay, on to hockey:

Daniel Carcillo reacts to scoring goals like Keanu Reeves reacts to going on totally excellent adventures.

*****

 The Sharks knotted their series up at two, after Joe “I’m getting a bit of a reputation for doing this” Pavelski buried one top corner on Craig “really, Brodeur’s year was better than mine?” Anderson.  And for the Sharks, thank god he did.

But if I’m in that San Jose room, I’m still a little rattled at going to overtime again.

Not seeing this nearly enough.

For an underdog to pull out a playoff upset, they need to get some bounces, and they need to get some calls.  Unlike the top dog, they know that every game is going to take maximum effort for them to have any hope of winning.

Even with that formula, in a best-of-seven series the underdog can’t get the breaks every night.  Usually along the way, like in the case of Washington/Montreal, the better team will just have one of those nights where they play to their potential, and win 5-1.  Or like how the Pens looked like defending Cup champs just a few nights after losing game one.  And I suspect one of these nights we’ll see the same thing in the Nashville/Chicago series, where they’ll play the type of game where the better roster gets some luck, brings their work ethic, and wins in convincing fashion.  Not saying Chicago will win the series (wait, yes I am), but they’ll have a night where they flex their muscles.

For San Jose, holy shit fellas, strike a pose. 

There hasn’t been a single game out of the four where a Heatley/Marleau/Thornton/Pavelski/Boyle-laden team can put together a convincing win?  I don’t care how good their goalie is, pick some corners, move the puck, what the f**k!

If you want any of us to believe in your squad (and you want to believe in yourselves), we gotta see some something bodybuilder-like, and soon.  Oil yourself up, get a fake tan, and flex those offensive muscles tomorrow.

*****

When Valterri Filpula banked the puck off the back of Bryzgalov, it landed on the goal line in the only conceivable way for it to not continue moving across the line, and I immediately thought the Coyotes were just destined to win.  Turns out, Jimmy Howard and Henrik Zetterberg had something to say about that.

(Phoenix takes the best overhead pics.  Love this one from game three.)

Two seconds PDF (Pre-Doan Face).

 .

 (DoanFace photoshop gallery)

As a hockey fan, it’s frustrating having Doan miss time in this series.  One, because no one in the entire NHL deserves playoff hockey more than him (and I mean that – he’s like Steve Nash.  98% of the league would have bailed on this organization for a better title shot by now), but also because I want what everyone else wants – a clear winner.  A way to say “this is the better team” definitively.  But Shane Doan is such a crucial piece of the Coyotes puzzle, the Red Wings getting wins with him not in the lineup feels like we all go cheated. (Rumour is he’ll play in game five, so yay to that!)

Kudos to the Red Wings though, they took care of business on home ice with the other team’s captain out, just like they’re supposed to.  And all the while, Zetterberg keeps performing like a first ballot Hall-of-Famer.

*****

So, this was brought to my attention yesterday: The Ref Cam.  It’s in a USHL game, Chicago vs. Green Bay.  We need more of this.

Can you imagine how much refs would resist a product that proves the offside they just whistled down was actually the wrong call, but the guy just made a panic decision?  Horrible feeling.  Thanks for the video, Jeff:

(What a toolbox reaction from the goalie)

*****

Before I shut’er down for the day, I need to say a major thank you to reader Steve Croteau.  Steve noticed that a couple times I’ve bitched about not actually having a computer, which means I wreck my fiancee’s all day, with a combination of food, grease and questionable downloads.

So, since his family was moving on to a new one, he sent me their old Dell, which works wonderfully (and only weighs slightly more than Todd Bertuzzi).  Now Bri and I can be on Facebook/Twitter at the same time and never talk, awesome.  Ooo, and I can live blog more now, cause she’ll have stuff to do.  So goooo Steve!  Thanks again, man.

*****

If you didn’t get enough randomness (or shake weightery) today, here’s an entertaining display from a couple of college baseball teams during a rain delay.  It’s worth a couple chuckles.

Hockey!

Don’t you hate that I don’t often blog on the weekends?  So much happened.  Let discuss….

Dan Boyle shoots the puck into the net in overtime, only… it was his own.

"Let me just rim this around the...ohhhhcrapitsinournet, isn't it?"

Dan Boyle shot the puck into the net in overtime, only, it was his own.  Not sure if you heard about that.

This is one of those f**k-ups that’s so exceptionally f**ked-up that it doesn’t even affect you as a player, if that makes any sense.  If you’re playing a game, and your best isn’t as good as your opponents best, it can get to you.  You start to doubt yourself, you start trying other things, and you get worse.  But this play was so ridiculous I wouldn’t even be that rattled. 

For the record, I don’t think O’Reilly tipped it.  It’s just one of those plays where you go, crap, no way that just happened.  I’m gonna go change, go home, and prepare for the next game.

What it does mean, for a Sharks team who needs extra hurdles like Ben Roethlisberger needs another accuser, is that they’re down 2-1 to a team they’re better than.  It also means they gave life and hope to a young squad who needed exactly that.  San Jose played great last night – absolutely dominated and looked they were on the powerplay most of the night.  Only Craig Anderson was so phenomenal they should have credited him with the game winner.

Even if San Jose does win this series, it’s going to be longer and more stressful than they’d hoped.  Which is too bad, cause it’d be fun to see them advance (in full health) to a round where they got to play another top seeded team.  Maybe they just need to get away from pesky underdogs to show their true colours. (teal!)

Every series was knotted up at 1-1.

Which is pretty cool, if you’re into watching exciting hockey.  As I mentioned before, any desperate, defensive NHL squad could beat the best teams one time out of seven (even Edmonton!).  I was appalled by the amount of people that were jumping on underdog bandwagons, like we were gonna see the eight lower seeds advance.

Love Chicago, but find this series the least interesting to date.

The Sens aren’t gonna beat the Penguins.  The Habs aren’t gonna beat the Capitals.  And the Islanders aren’t playing hockey in late April.  Some things you just know to be true.

The most realistic upset scenario is Philadelphia giving the boots to New Jersey, provided Boucher avoids getting the yips for the remainder of the series (Example of the goalie yips: Detroit’s first goal of playoffs, where Bryzgalov caught a case of the yips instead of the puck on Holmstrom’s shot.  A random body twitch that prevents you from doing something easy. A bit of a Philadelphia-goaltending-epidemic).  All year I thought NJ was higher up the standings than the quality of their team, and Philly was sitting lower than their potential.  It’s a pretty even match-up, so I like the Flyers odds, being up 2-1 and all (plus, Carcillo’s goal is proof that good things happen to good people.  What a guy).

Random sidenote – I could totally see Buffalo in the Eastern conference finals.  They’re one of those teams that doesn’t get much TV love, and not a team I ever chose to watch with other options on.  After seeing them play a few times, I’m muchos impressed.  Moreso than I am with Jersey/Philly/Boston, who are the teams they’d have to beat to get there.

Alex Ovechkin had four points in game two.

LOVE that he celly's linemate's goals with the exact same enthusiasm.

His no shots in game one prompted “what’s wrong with Ovechkin” talk from folks all over. 

I feel like the hockey community is dying to chuck this guy under the next passing bus some reason, like he’s ever done anything wrong aside from some excessive celebrating (which I love).   It’s like we can’t wait to give Crosby the reins as the games best player.  I dunno if anyone else feels that, it’s just sort of a vibe I get.

Hate to break it to y’all, but barring injury, the games best goal scorer is gonna be co-holder of those reins for a long, long time.  He’ll streak and slump like everyone else.

Coyotes/Red Wings became the most exciting series in playoffs.

And plenty of 'em!

Most exciting by an absolute landslide (shout out to LA/Van, Boston/Buffalo).

Ilya Bryzgalov (by the way, I call my fiancee “Breeze” or “Breezer”, which has evolved to Ilya Breezegalov) was an absolute stud in the third period of the last game, and Jimmy Howard wasn’t.

I really felt like this would be one of those series that no one would ever score in.  Two well coached teams doing the right thing, y’know?

But it’s been thrilling.  Scads of goals, lead changes, and a fast, young Coyote team that’s giving the supposed Cup contending Wings all they can handle.  Can Detroit beat Phoenix three of the next four games and pull it out?  I dunno, man.  I just don’t know.

I was at the first two games here in Phoenix, and feel the need to say props to the Coyotes fans.  It’s been a lot of fun. 

Until you see some of these guy’s play in person, it’s tough to know why some guys score while others don’t.  Pretty easy to see once you see Datsyuk’s wizardry in person.

*****

Sorry about the late post – I was putting the finishing touches on a column that should be up today or tomorrow on USA Today’s website - I’ll put the link up when it posts.

In the meantime, I’m on the computer all day, so if you’d like to discuss any other playoff topics, fire away.  I’ll be here to respond.

Monday, wweeeee!