Cinqo de OhMyGod, He’s Not Wearing Teeth On TV

 

So, does Darren McCarty not have teeth, or does he just choose not to wear them?  And as a follow up, which of those two things would be more messed up?

On the “doesn’t have them” hand, he’s just said eff it.  I’m not doin’ the whole teeth thing.  People know I played hockey, they know I was a tough, they don’t expect me to have any chompers.  It’s a hassle, it’s expensive, I’m just not doin’ it.  I don’t care if I’m an analyst with Versus.  I’m not going through with it. (note: I actually like having him on the panel there.  A little personality never hurt anyone.)

On the ”chooses not to wear them” hand, he’s completely socially oblivious.  Because he knows enough to have the teeth, but doesn’t think TV is the right time to be wearing them.  He’s gone through the whole procedure.  Dentist appointments, fittings, root canals, who knows.  But he deems national television an unworthy tooth-sporting event.  I guess he didn’t think many people were gonna see him.  After all, he is on Versus.  BOOM!  So if not then…. WHEN?

My best guess:  He knows he looks better with them in, but they inhibit his ability to speak clearly.  You know, without having a lisp or something.  (Which probably just comes from getting your brain puchisized for free for a dozen+ years, but hey, I’m fine with blaming the teeth.)

{Random tooth tale: My college teammate got a new retainer-style front jib right before our road trip to Minneapolis.  We went out that night after our game for his 21st birthday.  Gets cross-eyed drunk (t-bombs at Brothers), goes home and pukes in the little hotel garbage can by the desk.  The next day, he wakes up at 4:45 hungover as all hell and frantic about missing our 5:00 a.m. team bus.  He throws his stuff together but can’t find his tooth.  So he has to check, y’know?  Nauseous and near-puking, he looks in the can and sees a glimmer of steel from the retainer of his front tooth.  ….And plunges his hand in.  GAG.}

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Sharks/Wingys

Last night the Detroit Red Wings blew a two-goal lead at home to the always clutch, unwaveringly relentless Joe Thornton and Patrick Marleau.  You just can’t beat consistency when it comes from team leaders.  (“…well you should, cause I’m layin’ it on pretty thick.”)

 

Great goal. 

Frankly, Jimmy Howard let them down.  I don’t care how many great saves he made over the course of the night – the Shark’s first tally in the dying seconds of the first period was a terrible, momentum-swinging moment, and the goal line sneaker is, as usual, frowned upon.

I swear to god, when it was 2-0 Wings I almost tweeted “Was there anyone out there who didn’t think the Wings were going to pump San Jose tonight?”  And really, it still would’ve been a fair question.  Didn’t we all think that the first game at the Joe was going to be an “oh yeahhhh, now I remember, the RED WINGS, right…” night?

But  San Jose didn’t give up against a tough team in their home barn, and the big boys answered the bell when it was rung.  If you’re a Bill Simmons reader, you know the value of them somehow having the “no one believed in us” factor (the same way the Coyotes did), despite being a one seed.  That’s a dangerous combination, no?

Two things: 

1) Sometimes when a team is down 3-0, you can pretty much stop watching the series.  But with the reputations of these two teams (choking dogs, straight-up winners, respectively), doesn’t this kinda fit the formula for a series that could still get real scary, real quick, IF yaknowhatImean?  I say the Red Wings win the next game handily, like, 4-1 or so, just to make even the most ardent Sharks supporter poop just a little.

2) In fairness, San Jose does look like the team who’ll be moving on, which makes me uber-excited for the Western Conference finals.  Either series would be awesome (vs. Van or vs. Chi), because all three teams have fan bases and teams that can never seem to get over the hump, but deserve to.  Looking into the future: I think I’d pick the Sharks to beat Chicago, but not Vancouver.  I’ll explain when the time comes.

Pitt beats Montreal two-spit

Thus far, this series is only interesting for Penguins and Habs fans, which is probably somewhere near 50% of the total fans of the sport thanks to bandwagonners and traditionalists.  Watching the Habs is like watching a cup-winning Devils team, only without the confidence.

And really, that’s it: Montreal is playing this well because they lack confidence (umm, and they’re smart), so that know they have to play the perfect team defensive game to have any hope.  Whiiiiich they keep doing.  So when they run into a hot (decent?) goalie, the mere 18 shots they’ve generated in two of the four games is simply not going to get it done, even with shutting down the Penguins high-flyin’ offense.

Sorry Habs fans, but you’ve got too much skill and talent on that team to be this boring.  This isn’t who you are. 

Last thought: How badly do you think Scott Gomez’s career highlight reel was squashed by being at his peak during “The Devils Years”? (Which is a memory that makes most hockey fans shudder).  I may have said this before, but if I could pick any guy to carry the puck in on the powerplay, I’m going with him.  He’s just so light on his skates, man.

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That’s all for today people.  Join me at 1PM EST on Puck Daddy’s site for a playoff hockey chat.  I’ll be saying things like “oh big time”, “but that’s just not true” and maybe even “arrrriba!”  Don’t miss out.

The floor is now yours to discuss McCarty’s teeth.

Picks, Coyote Tix and Quick Hits

 

I did a bad job of explaining my predictions before the second round (less “bad job” and more “completely didn’t do it”), and now I have the advantage of having seen a game from each series.  So, my bad on that.  Thus, in the interest of keeping this entry from War and Peace-like length, I’ll cut to the chase on why I picked whom.

I picked Detroit, and explained it was because I can’t pick against The Zettersyuk.  I intend to do an old school, serious piece of prose about the poetic way Datsyuk plays later today.  Sheer artistry.

I picked Vancouver on the Luongo-is-better-than-Niemi tiebreaker, and because I only recently discovered that bandwagon Blackhawks fans are plutonium-level-volatile right now.  They’re entering the “holy crap, if we don’t win this year….” panic phase , where they’re studying salary cap rules at all hours of the night, and realizing that Hossa is basically becoming a one-man Buffalo Bills of the early ’90′s. WIDE RIGHT!  WIDE RIGHT!

I picked Pittsburgh because…. forget it, same reasons you did.

I picked Boston on the Rask-is-better-than-Boucher tiebreaker, and because Jeff Carter and Simon Gagne aren’t playing.  Also because Philly likes effing with it’s own fans by pretending it wants to win the cup, when really all the owners want is to get deep enough to get a few more home games for revenue. (Emery is out for the year?  It’s trade deadline time?  I have an idea…. what it we ride out this average goalie/great team thing and see where it takes us?  Haven’t tried that yet.)

I will say this about the Boston/Philly series – I would have predicted these two teams to be in the second round at the start of the year.  Surprisingly, they both struggled during the regular season, but I do actually think they’re more than capable of being competitive with the best teams.  The right eight teams made it from the East, and if you had looked at the rosters they went with for playoffs like eight months ago, you probably would’ve picked Boston to beat Buffalo, and Philly to beat Jersey.

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During Olympic time, I wrote a blog on Luongo the night before the gold medal game, on the topic of him making me feel slightly uneasy when he’s in net, for whatever reason.  (I took it down for fear of looking like a dissident at such a positive time.)

To me, this is his career-defining series. 

Team vs. team, Chicago and Vancouver are pretty even – maybe Chicago is a little better.  Vancouver’s advantage is supposed to be in net.  When he’s won, he’s almost always had the better team.  When he’s lost, he’s almost always had the worse team.  He’s not getting any younger, and this is one of the first occasions I can remember that it’s his series to win or lose. 

If he wants to be the player Canuck fans think he is, now is his time to shine, like the bright lights hitting his greasy hair.

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My buddy bought a Phoenix Coyotes playoff ticket package, which for those of you that don’t know, means you buy them right through game seven of the finals.  If your team doesn’t make it that far, you get reimbursed.

If they don’t call him soon to offer him tickets for next year instead of just sending him a cheque back (which it appears they’re going to do), it’ll be disheartening as a guy rooting for the team to succeed here.  Coyote’s marketing: he’d take the tickets, I’m telling you.  Make those calls while their season is fresh in everyone’s mind.  DO THIS RIGHT!

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The guys from PTI asked Dwight Howard to pick who he thought should be the league MVP, and he named two players, neither of which were Lebron.  What a hater.

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I’ve seen the Marc Savard reaction to his overtime winner about eighty-hundred times thus far, and I’m still 100% on getting chills.  I love that shit.  Great stick-to-crowd toss.

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I just found out that Jaroslav Halak made 800K this year.  Vesa Toskala made 4SHMIL.  If you believe that there’s any justice in the universe, expect a bank error in Halak’s favour, where he collects 3.2 million, then passes GO for an extra 200 bucks.

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Have to mention this (sorry in advance): yesterday I heard “throwing the snake” used as the all-time-funniest euphemism EVAR.  Some guy, just off the cuff: I bet Jim Ballsillie is so depressed after losing the Coyotes he just sits around “throwing the snake” all day, if you know what I’m sayin’.

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And last but not least, some quick thoughts on each series for ya, while I’m on my way out the door:

San Jose/Detoit:  San Jose has had success so far in playoffs with the complete and utter absence of it’s best players.  Last night, Thornton got the GWG and Heatley had three assists.  This should scare a lot of teams in the West, like say, Detroit.

Vancouver/Chicago: Don’t expect another VanCity beat down.  That Chicago team is too talented, cocky and proud to get run-over like a dog on the highway again.  They need their young gunners to act like THIS DOG and pull them in the right direction, as I fully expect them to do.

Montreal/Pittsburgh: Hey, lookit them Canadiens go. Part of the reason Detoit is so good is because they’ve always been able to get offense from skill (Datsyuk/Zetterberg) or grit (Holmstrom/Franzen).  Jordan Staal was the second part of Pittsburghs offensive equation (and the first part of its defensive one).  Washington didn’t have a second way to score against Halak, and I think it’ll really hurt Pitt that they lost a big chunk of their second style too.  Seems like Halak can make every first save in the book, and Montreal’s D is doing a great job of clearing away second chance opportunities.

Philly/Boston:  The best news for Pittsburgh, who will eventually win that series or I’m folding my blog and becoming a monk, is that this Philly/Boston series is close, so it’s going to be a war.  The teams hate each other.  It’s a battle of attrition, and the winning side is going to limp in front of the conference-finals-firing-squad on one limb.  Pittsburgh, Merry Christmas…. you’re in the finals.

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In case you missed it:  On Friday I uncovered footage of Ovechkin and the evil genius boss who sent him to Earth to capture the Stanley Cup.  You can watch it here.

Changing Tires, San Jose Trying To Keep The Wheels On

 

The Brooks Laich changing a tire story is great.  Our tendancy is to blow things out of proportion, so lets not do that here – it was just a really refreshing thing to hear.  As I’ve been saying, it makes me proud to be a hockey player.  Or maybe just a human.

I learned to change a tire in the summer of 2008, because I read somewhere it’s one of the basic things you need to be able to do to consider yourself a man.  That, tie a tie, and something else…. climb a frozen waterfall in bowling shoes or something.

The year I was taught (and by “taught”, I mean holy-crap-its-so-easy-Paula-Abdul-could-figure-it-out) I was staying at the Gillies and training before my AHL tryout with the Hershey Bears.  Mapquest told me it was about five hours from Long Island, and our check-in and first meeting was around 3:00PM.  I was on the road by 7:30AM to give myself lots of time.  Sadly, my GPS took me down Manhattan’s 34th Avenue, which slowed me considerably.  The second I got through the Holland Tunnel, I saw open road, and hit the gas.  Got ‘er right up to 70 before hitting a pothole deeper than a Jack Handy thought.  Immediately, my car started pulling hard to the right.  F**k.

I’m talkin’, car packed with literally everything I owned, and I had to unload the trunk to get at the spare.  Baseball glove, lamps, pillows, the works.

Anyway, because I knew what to do, I coasted into town on a bike tire just in time to check-in, and start the hellacious injury-riddled season that led to me being a writer.  Shoulda known that was “don’t go” sign.  At least I got a Hershey chocolate bar at check-in, I guess.

(1) San Jose Sharks vs. (5) Detroit Red Wings 

This is a tough one to call, because of the mental gift the Sharks have been given; this time, hardly anyone expects them to win.

Even though they’re the one seed, they’re playing the perceived one seed.  And for Thronton, Boyle and crew, they’ve never had the luxury of even semi-underdog status before.  70% of people are picking Detroit to win, which is SO. NICE. if you’re on San Jose.  It free’s you up to just play.  Not sure why it’s different, but it is.

So then it’s obvious that I’m picking…..

DETROIT IN SEVEN

Wait, what?  Here’s how I made my pick:

Goaltending: It’s a pick ‘em, as far as I’m concerned.  Evgeni Nabakov is supposed to be better, and has lots of experience.  Unfortunately, he hasn’t exactly built a reputation as a clutch playoff performer during those experiences.  And we have no idea about Howard in playoffs yet.  We do know that in the same game he can be good, he can give up a shot off the draw to Vernon Fiddler that hasn’t gone in since pee wee hockey.  Sure, it’s a factor that could affect the series if one guy gets too hot or too cold, but I’m expecting them both to be right around par.

Defense: Slight edge to Detroit.  Studs like Lidstrom and Rafalski are getting a little older, but they can still get it done.  Niklas Kronwall is one of my new favourite players (I LOVE THIS COMMERCIAL), and Brad Stuart is above average.  San Jose has Dan Boyle, but after that all you have is the corpse of Rob Blake and Douglas Murray.

Offense: Both teams have great forwards, just in different ways.  Datsyuk and Zetterberg are unlike any other two forwards in the NHL – talented, shifty, f***ing crazy smart, and defensively aware.  San Jose’s top dogs are good at… getting goals.  But, there is three of them.  Then there’s the bonus guy: Joe Pavelski.  He’s the wild card (who’s off to a great start in the series) that can put SJ over the top.  Can he keep being super-human?  Will Detroits gritty studs (Holmstrom and Franzen) prove to be too playoff-built to be stopped? WILL I STOP ASKING RHETORICAL QUESTIONS?  (I only “kinda like” this commercial in comparison, but still good)

Coach: Babcock.  BabcockBabcockBabcock.  I’d pick him vs. a super-coach that combined the know-how of Scotty Bowman, Phil Jackson and Bill Belichick.  Mclellan is apparently a good coach, but Mike B could coach the Jersey Shore cast into British accents.

So, when it came down Detroit’s experience and confidence vs. San Jose’s first crack at mental underdoggery, I gotta take the uber-beast, Zetsyuk.  Datsberg.  Whatever…. they are just way too special to pick against.

Other series predictions explained later, but I’ve picked Boston, Pittsburgh and Vancouver for my other three.  The Vancouver pick goes against everything I said about Chicago all year, but after watching a series where goaltending mattered so much (the Halak v Varladore trial), I’m taking Luongo over Niemi every time.

TGIF, kids.  Our weekend plans have been taken care of with the $26 we spent yesterday – a $13 inflatible pool float with a cup holder, and 18 Coors light for $13.  Weeee!

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One more thing – Just tinkering around this morning, and I discovered a lil conversation between Ovechkin and the evil genius from his home planet, who sent him to Earth to capture the elusive Stanley Cup.  It’s pretty intense.  Watch it here.

Devils Jenga Blocks Fall, The Sharks Flex Some Muscle

 

Happy Friday folks.  And believe me, it is a happy one over here!  My SOB of a brother is staying with Bri and I until Tuesday (wait… sorry mom). 

You may remember Jeff from earlier blogs.  Like his coverage of the paralympics, or that time he stopped breathing a few months ago and almost died, or where I explained that sledge hockey is a well-organized car accident.  Or, you Isles fans may remember him from my Dad’s Islanders-Hall-of-Fame induction, where the team donated Jeff the money for a new, multi-thousand dollar sled for sledge hockey, which he promptly used to t-bone my uber-ghetto sled and nearly made me need my own wheelchair.  (Who needs gifts when you get to shake Alexi. Freakin’. Yashin’s hand.  *gasps, fans himself, faints.)

Either way, we’re extremely pumped to have him – wasn’t sure he was gonna make it there for a bit, now the guy’s got a new shunt and he’s brand spankin’ new.  Crazy.  I mean, overnight, the guy got a new lease on life.  Miraculous.

Anyways, we’ll be sitting at McFadden’s outside Jobing.com Arena tonight before/during the Coyotes/Red Wings game (sold out of accessible seats, boo), so feel free to come say hello if you see us.

HOCKEY!

 

As the New Jersey Devils remembered last night, the moment your season ends is surreal.

You’re sitting in your stalls, largely in silence.  Okay, complete silence, except for that one guy who has to be different, and is taking the tape off his socks.  Nobody wants to be the first guy to take his jersey off.  After an extended period of time, coach makes some statement to the team, usually the nicest stuff he’s said all year (unless you’re a two-seed that loses in five games).

I mean, anytime Logan Couture and Dwight Helminen can take the game over (and your big line gets the chance to score meaningless goals again), you have to be impressed….. don’t you?  No?  Hmm.

Well, either way, they are still a one seed, which means if (sorry, when) they get by the Avs, they would draw the lowest seeded team left.  Whoooo you probably wouldn’t pick them to beat anyways.  Ah well.  At least it won’t be a total post-season write off this year.  It’ll be like a serious car accident where nobody dies – it was horrible, but at least there’s some upside.  No one died.

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The only team I’ve probably been harder on this year than the Coyotes has been the Senators.  I’ve yet to give the Sens an ounce of respect.  As far as I’m concerned, they have a couple good forwards, solid defense, and mediocre goaltending.  Not exactly the formula for a fear-inducing playoff team.  Plus, fifth in the Eastern Conference rarely equals “Cup contender”.

But still, good for them for not rolling over in Pittsburgh last night.  They came to play and managed to squeak it out.  But, unfortunately, just as Sens fans (MikeB) would expect, I’m chalking that one as a loss to Pittsburgh, not a win for the Sens.  I don’t care who you’re playing, if you win the Cup the year before, and have the chance to close out your round one opponent at home in game five and blow it…. yikes.  I got a dollar that says a Penguins player gets hurt tonight and misses game one of round two.  Karma for not closing.

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Time to walk to get bagels and coffee with Jeff.  Tough life, this blogging (as I overdraft and end up paying $38 for my bagel and coffee.  Maybe it is a tough life.)

As a tribute to my bro, here’s the type of stuff he loves.  He couldn’t wait to have me watch this.  Jeff loves “…my brain hurts…”

 

Shark Psychology, Shane Doan’s Injury, and the Shake Weight

 

 (My lastest piece for The Hockey News is here, on fans implying the league is against their team.  Though I admit, there could be refs like Tim Donaghy trying to influence things for their own gain, THERE IS NO grandiose puppet-master pulling pro-Penguin strings.  Exhale.  Exhale.)  Follow me on Twitter here.

 

Today’s blog has the potential to be a bit weird.  Or at least angry.  I’m one of those people that allergy season treats about as well as Clark Gillies treated Ed Hospodar’s face (two-word hint: reconstructive surgery).

I spend about a month every year feeling like when you have a cold, and whichever side you lay on, your bottom nostril is plugged – only last night, I was priveleged to have both sides shut down.  So I sat on the couch at 3:45, started eating watermelon and started writing this, strictly because that seemed like a better option than the only other thing I could think of, sticking my head a blender and hitting “liquify”.

Before I launch into hockey playoffs – have you seen the actual commercial for the “shake weight”?  The first few times I saw the ads, I mumbled “wtf”, and chuckled like every other male on the planet.  For those of you who don’t care to follow that link, just know that the product SNL parodied is actually real.  Here’s the good stuff:

Ahhh, priceless.  SNL was gold last week.  If you’re a fan and missed it, you gotta check out Andy Samberg in the Hip Hop Kids skit.   “What’re the odds?!”    “…That a bear would be in a bear cave?  Like 100%!”

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Okay, on to hockey:

Daniel Carcillo reacts to scoring goals like Keanu Reeves reacts to going on totally excellent adventures.

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 The Sharks knotted their series up at two, after Joe “I’m getting a bit of a reputation for doing this” Pavelski buried one top corner on Craig “really, Brodeur’s year was better than mine?” Anderson.  And for the Sharks, thank god he did.

But if I’m in that San Jose room, I’m still a little rattled at going to overtime again.

For an underdog to pull out a playoff upset, they need to get some bounces, and they need to get some calls.  Unlike the top dog, they know that every game is going to take maximum effort for them to have any hope of winning.

Even with that formula, in a best-of-seven series the underdog can’t get the breaks every night.  Usually along the way, like in the case of Washington/Montreal, the better team will just have one of those nights where they play to their potential, and win 5-1.  Or like how the Pens looked like defending Cup champs just a few nights after losing game one.  And I suspect one of these nights we’ll see the same thing in the Nashville/Chicago series, where they’ll play the type of game where the better roster gets some luck, brings their work ethic, and wins in convincing fashion.  Not saying Chicago will win the series (wait, yes I am), but they’ll have a night where they flex their muscles.

For San Jose, holy shit fellas, strike a pose. 

There hasn’t been a single game out of the four where a Heatley/Marleau/Thornton/Pavelski/Boyle-laden team can put together a convincing win?  I don’t care how good their goalie is, pick some corners, move the puck, what the f**k!

If you want any of us to believe in your squad (and you want to believe in yourselves), we gotta see some something bodybuilder-like, and soon.  Oil yourself up, get a fake tan, and flex those offensive muscles tomorrow.

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When Valterri Filpula banked the puck off the back of Bryzgalov, it landed on the goal line in the only conceivable way for it to not continue moving across the line, and I immediately thought the Coyotes were just destined to win.  Turns out, Jimmy Howard and Henrik Zetterberg had something to say about that.

(Phoenix takes the best overhead pics.  Love this one from game three.)

 .

 (DoanFace photoshop gallery)

As a hockey fan, it’s frustrating having Doan miss time in this series.  One, because no one in the entire NHL deserves playoff hockey more than him (and I mean that – he’s like Steve Nash.  98% of the league would have bailed on this organization for a better title shot by now), but also because I want what everyone else wants – a clear winner.  A way to say “this is the better team” definitively.  But Shane Doan is such a crucial piece of the Coyotes puzzle, the Red Wings getting wins with him not in the lineup feels like we all go cheated. (Rumour is he’ll play in game five, so yay to that!)

Kudos to the Red Wings though, they took care of business on home ice with the other team’s captain out, just like they’re supposed to.  And all the while, Zetterberg keeps performing like a first ballot Hall-of-Famer.

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So, this was brought to my attention yesterday: The Ref Cam.  It’s in a USHL game, Chicago vs. Green Bay.  We need more of this.

Can you imagine how much refs would resist a product that proves the offside they just whistled down was actually the wrong call, but the guy just made a panic decision?  Horrible feeling.  Thanks for the video, Jeff:

 

(What a toolbox reaction from the goalie)

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Before I shut’er down for the day, I need to say a major thank you to reader Steve Croteau.  Steve noticed that a couple times I’ve bitched about not actually having a computer, which means I wreck my fiancee’s all day, with a combination of food, grease and questionable downloads.

So, since his family was moving on to a new one, he sent me their old Dell, which works wonderfully (and only weighs slightly more than Todd Bertuzzi).  Now Bri and I can be on Facebook/Twitter at the same time and never talk, awesome.  Ooo, and I can live blog more now, cause she’ll have stuff to do.  So goooo Steve!  Thanks again, man.

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If you didn’t get enough randomness (or shake weightery) today, here’s an entertaining display from a couple of college baseball teams during a rain delay.  It’s worth a couple chuckles.

Boyle “Scores”, Ovy’s Awake, and Red Wings/Coyotes Talk

 

Hockey!

Don’t you hate that I don’t often blog on the weekends?  So much happened.  Let discuss….

Dan Boyle shoots the puck into the net in overtime, only… it was his own.

Dan Boyle shot the puck into the net in overtime, only, it was his own.  Not sure if you heard about that.

This is one of those f**k-ups that’s so exceptionally f**ked-up that it doesn’t even affect you as a player, if that makes any sense.  If you’re playing a game, and your best isn’t as good as your opponents best, it can get to you.  You start to doubt yourself, you start trying other things, and you get worse.  But this play was so ridiculous I wouldn’t even be that rattled. 

For the record, I don’t think O’Reilly tipped it.  It’s just one of those plays where you go, crap, no way that just happened.  I’m gonna go change, go home, and prepare for the next game.

What it does mean, for a Sharks team who needs extra hurdles like Ben Roethlisberger needs another accuser, is that they’re down 2-1 to a team they’re better than.  It also means they gave life and hope to a young squad who needed exactly that.  San Jose played great last night – absolutely dominated and looked they were on the powerplay most of the night.  Only Craig Anderson was so phenomenal they should have credited him with the game winner.

Even if San Jose does win this series, it’s going to be longer and more stressful than they’d hoped.  Which is too bad, cause it’d be fun to see them advance (in full health) to a round where they got to play another top seeded team.  Maybe they just need to get away from pesky underdogs to show their true colours. (teal!)

Every series was knotted up at 1-1.

Which is pretty cool, if you’re into watching exciting hockey.  As I mentioned before, any desperate, defensive NHL squad could beat the best teams one time out of seven (even Edmonton!).  I was appalled by the amount of people that were jumping on underdog bandwagons, like we were gonna see the eight lower seeds advance.

The Sens aren’t gonna beat the Penguins.  The Habs aren’t gonna beat the Capitals.  And the Islanders aren’t playing hockey in late April.  Some things you just know to be true.

The most realistic upset scenario is Philadelphia giving the boots to New Jersey, provided Boucher avoids getting the yips for the remainder of the series (Example of the goalie yips: Detroit’s first goal of playoffs, where Bryzgalov caught a case of the yips instead of the puck on Holmstrom’s shot.  A random body twitch that prevents you from doing something easy. A bit of a Philadelphia-goaltending-epidemic).  All year I thought NJ was higher up the standings than the quality of their team, and Philly was sitting lower than their potential.  It’s a pretty even match-up, so I like the Flyers odds, being up 2-1 and all (plus, Carcillo’s goal is proof that good things happen to good people.  What a guy).

Random sidenote – I could totally see Buffalo in the Eastern conference finals.  They’re one of those teams that doesn’t get much TV love, and not a team I ever chose to watch with other options on.  After seeing them play a few times, I’m muchos impressed.  Moreso than I am with Jersey/Philly/Boston, who are the teams they’d have to beat to get there.

Alex Ovechkin had four points in game two.

His no shots in game one prompted “what’s wrong with Ovechkin” talk from folks all over. 

I feel like the hockey community is dying to chuck this guy under the next passing bus some reason, like he’s ever done anything wrong aside from some excessive celebrating (which I love).   It’s like we can’t wait to give Crosby the reins as the games best player.  I dunno if anyone else feels that, it’s just sort of a vibe I get.

Hate to break it to y’all, but barring injury, the games best goal scorer is gonna be co-holder of those reins for a long, long time.  He’ll streak and slump like everyone else.

Coyotes/Red Wings became the most exciting series in playoffs.

Most exciting by an absolute landslide (shout out to LA/Van, Boston/Buffalo).

Ilya Bryzgalov (by the way, I call my fiancee “Breeze” or “Breezer”, which has evolved to Ilya Breezegalov) was an absolute stud in the third period of the last game, and Jimmy Howard wasn’t.

I really felt like this would be one of those series that no one would ever score in.  Two well coached teams doing the right thing, y’know?

But it’s been thrilling.  Scads of goals, lead changes, and a fast, young Coyote team that’s giving the supposed Cup contending Wings all they can handle.  Can Detroit beat Phoenix three of the next four games and pull it out?  I dunno, man.  I just don’t know.

I was at the first two games here in Phoenix, and feel the need to say props to the Coyotes fans.  It’s been a lot of fun. 

Until you see some of these guy’s play in person, it’s tough to know why some guys score while others don’t.  Pretty easy to see once you see Datsyuk’s wizardry in person.

*****

Sorry about the late post – I was putting the finishing touches on a column that should be up today or tomorrow on USA Today’s website - I’ll put the link up when it posts.

In the meantime, I’m on the computer all day, so if you’d like to discuss any other playoff topics, fire away.  I’ll be here to respond.

Monday, wweeeee!

Conference & Cup Winners, Mild Schizophrenia

 

Predictions are the most ridiculous thing I have to do in my line of work.  People who write about sports for a living shouldn’t be rewarded for their ability to predict the future, but rather for their ability to cover the past.

But whatever, it’s fun to do anyways, so put on your seatbelt.  There’s some more tough calls to be made.

In reality, there are only five legitimate Stanley Cup hopefuls:

Pittsburgh Penguins
Washington Capitals
Chicago Blackhawks
Detroit Red Wings
San Jose Sharks

Quick thoughts on each club:

Penguins:  The Penguins are an all-around solid team.  Good at every position, play as a unit, and have proven they can do it.  Plus they have some Cindy kid or something I heard about somewhere.  And didn’t some guy on their team win the Conn Smythe recently?

Capitals:  A one-dimensional offensive juggernaut that is so strong at it’s one dimension, they don’t look so bad in other areas.  If the other team never has the puck, you don’t have to play defense.  A nice perk.

Blackhawks: Grossly talented, huge fans of riding shirtless in limos - you almost get the impression that it’s leaders (Toews and Kane, mainly) are so young they don’t even realize the pressure.  Naturally, this makes them twice as dangerous, like how baby scorpions are more venemous than the big daddy’s.

Red Wings:  What’s talented, gritty and experienced all over?  Datsyuk and Zetterberg are disgustingly good, and they’re up for the Selke every year since they lead the league in take-aways.  So nothing special, just good D, nice grit, good goaltending and great coaching.

Sharks:  The big line they rely on to win doesn’t play with any youthful pep.  What they do do, is put skill and smarts in front of quality goaltending and get the job done.  Assuming the job they were trying to get done is making the playoffs.

So!  To the results show:

WESTERN CONFERENCE FINALS

CHICAGO vs. DETROIT

This series makes me nervous to even think about, there’s so much talent on the ice.  Did you see game 82, where Detroit had to win to get the fifth seed?  Teams like Edmonton and Toronto were watching that on TV going, “man, someday I’d like to play in that league.”

EASTERN CONFERENCE FINALS

PITTSBURGH vs. NEW JERSEY

What sucks about the East is, Pittsburgh puked away the TV dream of a conference finals with Washington by placing fourth.  What they almost certainly did do, is guarantee us getting to see that series in the second round of playoffs.

The Pittsburgh/Washington series is kind of a crapshoot.  It went seven games last year, and if both teams are healthy, it very well could go that far again this year.  One of these two teams will be missing guys by then, and the healthier team will prevail.  If they’re both healthy… what’s changed from last year?  Knuble and Leopold?  Not all that much.

For the two and three seeded Buffalo and New Jersey, it means that one of them gets to prove they were the real deal this year by earning the right to lose to Pittsburgh in the conference finals.  Quite an honor.  How bout that gift of a bracket?  Buffalo, Boston, Philly and New Jersey.  Anyone’s guess.

STANLEY CUP FINALS

PITTSBURGH vs. HOLY CRAP I HAVE NO IDEA WHO WOULD WIN THE SERIES BEFORE WOULD BRIAN CAMPBELL BE BACK DOES HOWARD WITHSTAND THE PLAYOFF PRESSURE I BETTER PICK SOMEONE LET’S GO WITH….. DETROIT!

Pittsburgh/Detroit, huh Bourne?  Way to take it out on a limb this year.

You want a limb?  Fine, here goes….

….AND THE WINNER IS…

THE PENGUINS!  NO WAIT!  THE RED WINGS!  NONO, PENGUINS!

THIS IS WHY THE PLAYOFFS ARE FUN, PEOPLE.

In all seriousness.  Ahem.  I choose:

The Pittsburgh Penguins. Sorry about the boring answer.  I’d love to see the Hawks or someone win.

Hey, the Isles dynasty was built on a core group of dudes who knew how to win.  I see a formula here (ignore the fact that Detroit has it too, and now that they have solid goaltending, are a much better model of the old Islanders).  Whatever, I had to pick someone, and Detroit is the more likely to lose in round one.  I’m taking Pittsburgh.  Good luck to all!

 

2010 NHL Playoffs – The Bestern Conference

 

I’m picking the Sharks to win the Cup.

*waits*

AhhhhGotcha!  They suck.  Let’s make some picks.

*****

SAN JOSE SHARKS (1)

vs.

COLORADO AVALANCHE (8)

Before the season, I didn’t have Colorado pegged to be a playoff team.  Halfway through the year I looked Barry Melrose level wrong on that (y’know, the guy who didn’t think Stamkos was gonna amount to much of an NHLer?  Love the guy, but he’s building a solid reputation for his wrongitude).  By the end of the season, I had almost come full circle back to right.

They’ve got a ton of badass young talent.  But I wouldn’t bet on Colorado to win this series if Vegas doubled the odds and you paid for my wager.

Contrary to my “they suck” joke about San Jose to open this blog, I don’t think they suck.  I’m picking them to go deep – like, conference finals deep – but I wouldn’t pick them to win a series against Chicago or Detroit (both would be epic series), and the bad news for SJ is, both those teams happen to be in the Western Conference.  Which they’re in too.

I think you’ll see a great first round out of big Joe and crew, cause they’ll be fired up as all hell to prove themselves.  More than any team in the NHL this post-season, they know an early round exit means a bunch of people getting new zip codes in the off-season.

Colorado’s pace will be amazing, and Stastny will be money.  But with Nabokov in net, the Avs upset hopes are some of the lowest in the league this post-season. (Here comes an Avs sweep after that prediction, huh?)

PREDICTION:  SHARKS in FIVE

*****

CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS (2)

vs.

NASHVILLE PREDATORS (7)

Shocking truth – I don’t think Chicago’s goaltending is bad as every human on Earth seems to think it is.

Now Washington – Washington has two horrific goaltenders.  Antti Niemi and Cristobal Huet may not be the elites of the league, but they certainly aren’t the dregs either.

As I mentioned in yesterday’s blog, Nashville – despite reaching 100 POINTS this year – was EVEN in goal differential during five-on-five regular season play.  Well that’s not very good, is it?

If they struggled to create offense in the regular season, I can’t imagine it’s going to go much better in the tighter checking post-season.  And if you could sum up the general point I’ll be making in my predictions, it’s that “teams that score by committee are f****d”.  Depth is good.  No-big-guns is bad (though I will race you to pick Hornqvist in fantasy hockey next year).

In reality, the Predators are not going to lose because of the Predators.  They’re going to lose because they’re playing a team that’s gone all-in this year.  Every chip they’ve got has been pushed to the middle, with very little regard to what happens after this season.  This equals one thing: an all-star team.

Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane, Duncan Keith, Brent Seabrook, Kris Versteeg, Patrick Sharp, Dave Bolland, Dustin Byfuglien….. really I could just type roster names til I’m out of them.  This one won’t be close.

PREDICTION: HAWKS in FOUR

*****

 

VANCOUVER CANUCKS (3)

vs.

LOS ANGELES KINGS (6)

As Bob McKenzie adamantly pointed out today, the LA Kings finished two – count ‘em, two – points behind Vancouver in the standings. It’s not so much a “3 vs 6″ matchup as it is two 4.5 seeds going at it.

This is one of those series you know is going to go six or seven games, but I’m not sure why.  Vancouver is better in net.  And up front.  And on D.

That’s not to say LA isn’t strong in all those places, because they are (101 points!).  But those Sedins have gone from point-getting and bothersome to venemous and unbelievable.  Both sides have game breakers in this one, which is why it’s going to be a blast (which, incidentally, is why Boston/Buffalo is going to be a painfully long, close series – they don’t have any).  It just so happens that the Canucks have the better ones.

Luongo finally took a step passed his “never won anything” reputation in the Olympics.  As shaky as it may have been, or whatever you may think of him, mentally, that’s huge for a guy’s confidence.  You want him in net over either of the Kings tenders, every time.

The Canucks will miss Willie Mitchell.  He’s a big part of that d-corps, but he’s not the only piece.  The Canucks will get it done, but the Kings will take a lot out of them.

PREDICTION: CANUCKS in SEVEN

*****

PHOENIX COYOTES (4)

vs.

DETROIT RED WINGS (5)

You may remember, eight or nine days ago, I wrote a column on how unfortunate (but inevitable) it was the the ‘Yotes would draw the Red Wings in the first round. 

Nothing has changed since then.

{Well, one thing has – there’s the movement, started via Five For Howling‘s Travis Hair (@TravisHair) on Twitter, to have Coyote fans throw fake rattlesnakes on the ice, I think after warm-up (check out #ThrowTheSnake on twitter).  I know folks will be worried about it costing the ‘Yotes a penalty, but it rarely does after the first occurance at any given game. 

You’ll get a warning, so just don’t do it after the first “hey stop that” (if the team has half a marketing brain – and I think they do – they’ll embrace this.  They could sell them, jack the price up and cash in).  Either way, it’s a great bit of potential hockey culture down here in the desert.  I’m tellin’ ya man, the fans need something to call their own, and this can be the start of Phoenix’s first “own thing”.  I’m on board.  But anyways, back to the series….}

These are the two best coached teams in the NHL.  Babcock coached his team through a kabillion injuries and somehow got them to 100 points for the bloody TENTH STRAIGHT YEAR, while Dave Tippett took a team most people picked to finish one place behind last, and at times, teased being the conference’s best.

The Coyotes have rock solid goaltending in Ilya Bryzgalov, which was going to be their huge advantage in a playoff series.  Unfortunately for them, Jimmy Howard found his game at the NHL level, learned to battle, and got himself into MVP talk, somehow.  At the very least, he’s a Calder top two.

But here’s where I rehash that same old point – when a game needs to be broken open, Coyotes fans will bite their fingernails halfway off everytime Henrik Zetterberg or Pavel Datsyuk has the puck.  Scoring by committee isn’t impossible, you just hope that your committee doesn’t have a first round defensive opponent of Nicklas Lidstrom, Brian Rafalski, Niklas Kronwall, Brad Stuart and crew.

At the other end, guys like Lepisto, Vandermeer and Michalek (okay, and Jovo at the defensive end) – as good as their years were – probably aren’t going to be able to stop the mix of Datsyuk/Zetterberg skill with Franzen/Holmstrom grit.

Here’s the thing.  I WANT the Coyotes to win.  I want this team to look like a great “buy low” deal for the contemplating future owners.  I want a hockey culture here.  I’m jumping in an RV with about a dozen other guys, driving up an hour before the game, getting my white out on and cheering like everyone else (yes, for the ‘Yotes).  But as a sports writer, I have to be honest.  I’d be surprised if the Coyotes won.

But then again, Coyotes fans, you may recall…. I’ve been wrong about them before.  Here’s to hoping they surprise me again.

PREDICTION: RED WINGS in SIX

*****

(Leastern Conference picks later today)

NHL’s Quarterly Review

 

Alright, NHL, let’s do a little quarterly review and see if you deserve a raise.

Mmhmm…. yep… mhmm… everything looks pretty good.  Off to a real nice start.  Just a couple things:  We’ve discussed head shots a few times now, and it doesn’t appear you’ve done anything to fix that problem.  You see, we’re attaching a cover sheet to all our TPS Reports now…

Oh, and, tone down the injuries.  Then you can get your raise.

*****

Our USA Today bi-weekly Power Rankings came out today, and look pretty good.  My own Top Ten Teams is little different – here’s how I see it thus far.

1. Chicago Blackhawks
2. New Jersey Devils
3. San Jose Sharks
4. Washington Capitals
5. Pittsburgh Penguins
6. Calgary Flames
7. Colorado Avalanche
8. Buffalo Sabres
9. Columbus Blue Jackets
10. Detroit Red Wings

We aren’t all going to agree, but feel free to sway my opinion – why am I wrong (or right) on this?  Oh, and keep in mind, it was submitted before last nights games.

*****

And the race for the Hart Trophy?  Here’s how I see the first quarter:

1. Alex Ovechkin
2. Ilya Kovalchuk
3. Ryan Miller
4. Anze Kopitar
5. Marion Gaborik

Thoughts?

*****

How much higher would Dwayne Roloson’s status be if his name wasn’t Dwayne?  Dwayne has to be the english language’s worst male name.  Y’know, aside from some ahem… football player names (see: D’Brickashaw). 

Like Blaze.  Blaze Roloson.  We’d be like… “Damn.  That Blaze is quick.  What an apt name”.  Just like that.  That’s what we’d be like.

*****

 

Congrats to college teammate Jay Beagle on his first NHL goal.  Excuse me while I take a kerosene shower in a room full of candles.

*****

When USA Today ran my article on gay slurs, a lotta stuff happened.  All the sudden I was on the phone with GLAAD, discussing getting media trained to speak on TV about the issue.  And, courtesy a few less-than-polite readers, I found out that, apparently, contrary my own (or fiance’s) knowledge, it turns out that I myself am  not-so-into the ladyfolk.

Most note-worthy was an email I got from Brendan Burke, son of Leafs GM Brian Burke.  After that, I corresponded with him and his brother, and got the go ahead from big Burke to write Brendan’s story.  That same day, Brendan found out he had the opportunity to have his story be seen by more eyes, and heard by more ears, so I let the story be told with the most exposure possible.  ESPN’s John Buccigross posted Brendan’s story today (and did a nice job), and tomorrow, he’ll be plugging Bourne’s Blog and running a little response I gave him during our email correspondance.  So everybody be on your best behaviour when our new guests arrive then.  Dress nice.

*****

Anybody else get the vibe that Detroit is gonna limp around all year, beat some teams, lose some games, start getting healthy in Febuary, start clicking in March, and be the world’s scariest 6/7/8 seed?  Y’know, assuming Jimmy Howard gets hot too? (insert “Chris Osgood is a Hall-of-Famer” comments here.  ….Yeah, and maybe he’ll bring Kurt Warner as his date to the induction)

*****

I’m really looking forward to the Flyers getting home ice in playoffs (again), looking nearly unbeatable (again), putting up a really good fight (again), and having their hearts ripped out by weak goaltending when they need it the most (again).

*****

I’m also really looking forward to the chaos that is playoffs, since some of the best teams in the league have mediocre goaltending.  I think Chicago and Washington have the best teams, but by having ”decent” goaltending (too generous?), the door gets opened up for teams like Calgary, San Jose, and… and… f**k.  Why am I having trouble convincing myself New Jersey is a top team, especially after such a great start?

*****

Thanks for your continued support of the blog.  If you don’t already, you can follow me on twitter at http://twitter.com/jtbourne

Stanley Cup Frontrunners

 

Contributing to the Power Rankings for USA Today each couple weeks really makes me think about where teams in the NHL are at.  These are the left-over thought nuggets from this weeks edition.

*****

Carolina - In last years playoffs, Bourne’s Blog became a forum for a quality back and forth with some of the Carolina faithful about their team (mostly because I was treating the ‘Canes like I’ve been treating Phoenix this year), and somewhere along the way I got convinced that they weren’t all that bad.  It made sense that they wouldn’t be – Eric Staal is worthy of having a team built around him, Cam Ward is one of the best goalies in the NHL, and I thought Paul Maurice was a pretty good coach.

When we did our  pre-season predictions, we got some static about the lack of Carolina love.  I had debated whether or not to include them, but we were only asked to pick division and conference winners, not playoff teams, so it made no sense to mention them.  Playoffs, yes, top team, no.

So what the f**k is going on down there?

And now the two players I mentioned before are hurt?  They’re worse than my Isles?  The Leafs?  Hit that “comment” button ‘Canes fans.  Explain yourselves.

*****

I can’t help but think that there’s about a 20% chance the Cup winner comes out of the Western Conference this year.

Who looks like a Cup threat right now?  I mean, you can say the Colorado Avalanche, but you don’t mean that.  You’re aware they’re still a “good young team”, right?  It’s okay to say that they’re legit.  Tons of up-and-coming talent.  But I don’t see a whole lot of “crap, I don’t want to play that team in playoffs” on their roster.  I do see a whole lot of “crap, I really don’t feel like playing this mid-season game, can someone get a leash on Wolski? Stastny? O’Reilly? Duchene?  CAN SOMEONE GET A BELL ON DUCHENE!??”

Name another threat with a straight face right now. 

The Sharks? 

I’d agree, if they didn’t play in the the Pacific Division, or as it’s better known, the ”try-to-gage-a-team-in-a-division-with-LA-Phoenix-and-Dallas” group. Heatley was a massive pick-up.  Fine.  He makes them the West’s best hope until Chicago inevitably wakes from it’s slumber.  But there’s still something that doesn’t feel right about calling the Sharks a Cup contender.  What does it mean that when I picture the Pacific Division, I picture a train going over some old wooden tressel bridge, only nobody knows the wood is rotten beneath?  I feel like every passing train (game?) is one closer to the utter collapse of the whole thing.  Combine that with a history of playoff failure, and it’s hard to be too sold on the Teal Trainwrecks Titans.

I know you can only beat the teams you play (the Boise State football problem), it’s just tough to tell if they’re actually good, or playing bad opponents.  But, they will be a top three seed again, so here’s to hoping that they can break the same mold they built.

How about this:  If I were to say “for a thousand dollars, will the Stanley Cup come out of the Western Conference, or the Atlantic Division?” - which one are you picking?

Atlantic Division

	GP	W	L	OT	Pts	GF	GA	Home	Away	L10	Streak
Pittsburgh Penguins	17	12	5	0	24	54	44	5-3-0	7-2-0	6-4-0	Lost 2
New Jersey Devils	15	11	4	0	22	39	33	3-4-0	8-0-0	8-2-0	Won 5
New York Rangers	18	10	7	1	21	56	48	6-2-0	4-5-1	3-6-1	Lost 1
Philadelphia Flyers	14	9	4	1	19	52	37	6-2-1	3-2-0	6-3-1	Won 4
New York Islanders	17	6	6	5	17	44	50	5-2-2	1-4-3	5-3-2	Won 1

 

You know what I’d pick?  I’d pick to complain that it’s NO WONDER THE ISLES STRUGGLE SO BAD. 

This is what makes the NHL playoffs so great.  It’s not accurate to gage a team based strictly on their record, since head-to-head is the only undeniable measuring stick for “who’s-better-than-who”.  In the ever-popular BCS, strength of schedule is a heavy factory in determining the best teams.  Fortunately for us, the NHL has a playoff format, so we actually get to watch the “I wonder who’s actually better” questions play out.

And who’s actually better?

The Stanley Cup Champion Penguins, my friend.  That’s not just picking the obvious – at this point in the season, it’s picking correctly.

*****

And last, I wanted to give a shout-out to the reader who read my USA Today article, found my blog, tracked down my email, then wrote me the following email, which is printed below, unedited:

“you smoke pickle”

And so, I laughed.

Capitalizing at Home

 

One game tonight?  What is this, the third round?

It’s okay… I’m talking myself through it.  Maybe I could watch a basketball game after… or, I suppose I could get a life and leave my house on a Friday night.  Or,  just watch a basketball game.  Yeah, I’ll do that.

(2) Caps / (7) Rangers tonight folks.  Do or die time for the Washington Funtowatchitals.  Back into that crazy sea of red.

Lundqvist is going to have to come up big  for the Rangers tonight or it could be a beat down.  A desperate young team, back at home, playing with their backs against the wall… I think we might see a little pace outta the Ovi-led Caps.  All they need is Vaslav Fomich Nijinsky (I think that’s his name) to play well in net tonight and they’ll be fine.

*****

I’m up to 3-0 in my playoff predictions, but it’s looking like a series other than the Caps one is in serious jeopardy.  The (1) San Jose Sharks are on the verge of having to answer a whole host of awkward questions I’m sure they don’t feel like answering, questions along the line of “What the f*** was that?”

I really do think Anaheim has put together a nice little playoff squad over there, but that’s not supposed to matter.  Breaking news San Jose, you’re the Presidents Trophy winner.  You’ve got a nice little squad too.  I was really hoping for better for Thornton, he seems like one of the good guys.  But you know what they say.  Nice guys finish first, but only until playoffs.

*****

I’m gonna do a little 180 here and ask a few non-hockey questions, because apparently there’s an entire world happening off the ice.  But they’re still about sports.  Let’s not get too crazy.

***

- Isn’t saying Bocci-ball a bit redundant?  “Bocci” is pretty self-explanatory, really.  There’s not much chance of us playing Bocci fork, or Bocci wheels, is there?

***

- How tragic is John Madden retiring?  You know you had the career of a legend when people reflect on it, and they realize you managed to trademark words like “Boom!” and “Turduchen”, while gambling websites offered less than one to one odds that you would make more than three food references during any given telecast.

***

- Doesn’t it suck that TCIKG  (The Completely Insane Kevin Garnett, as labelled by Bill Simmons) is missing the post-season for the Celtics?  You know you’re a guy teetering on the brink of madness when PTI sets the over/under at three for ”how many on-camera profanities will viewers at home be able to discern from Garnetts mouth”

***

- Have Alaskans officially crossed the line to  crazy?  Occasionally I get invited to join a group on Facebook called “conceal and carry on campus” for Alaskans, a state of people who are already allowed to be packing heat in their belt, and would like to be able to do it on University Campuses as well.  …yeah… I see nothing wrong with that.

***

- Why does Bill Simmons have to love basketball so much?  The guy’s writing makes me laugh everytime, even when it’s about a sport I don’t pay a ton of attention to.  My favourite recent explanation of his was that it’s easy to tell that someone is an a-hole if someone describes a person by using their own name. 

“How’re things working out with Bill lately?”

“Well, you know, Bill is Bill.  He’s gonna do his thing…”

*****

Alrighty folks.  My next piece for THN was just sent in, so keep your eyes peeled for that.  Also, The Hockey News just sent me five copies of their April 26 magazine, the first one I’ve had an actual print article in.  So that was kinda neat. 

Also, the lady and I have recently set our sights on Scottsdale (or Glendale) for a home.  She got a nice job offer, and I’ve got a meeting with the Coyotes marketing guy Monday (assuming the Coyotes don’t move).  And hey, who out there isn’t aching for an increase in Coyotes coverage

Tune in to TSN tonight so you can catch the Caps thumping the Rangers!