Dan Ellis on Twitter, BizNasty on Life

Goooood morning folks!

Today begins the five-columns-a-week schedule I’ll be keeping up over the course of this NHL season, which means a change in protocol for Bourne’s Blog.

Posts will now go up close to 3:00 p.m. MST (it was usually between 9-10 a.m. before), as the mornings will be spent researching, writing, etc.  Just thought I’d keep you informed.

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Wearing his specialist clothing.

Dan Ellis’ soon-to-be-deleted Twitter Account

The twitter feed of Dan Ellis (@33dellis) has become the topic of conversation in the last day or two because A) there’s not much else going on in the NHL and B) he had the audacity to complain about money while making $3 shmill over the next two seasons, while having summers off.  (And yes, those summers are off.  You can lift, do cardio and be done skating by noon.)

To be clear, I like two things about his mistake: one, he broke away from the cliche-spewers, earning him a spot on my two-day old Top Seven NHL Quote-Givers list, which is in the right sidebar of this page below the ad.  And two, his complaint about escrow isn’t all that silly.  That’s a lot of money to give up.  That said….

WTF, man?  You don’t complain about having to share your massive Thanksgiving dinner to a starving family. 

There are certain things that’re hard about being a professional hockey player.  I’m fairly certain it’s harder to be an ECHLer than an NHLer (buses and minimum wage puts it over the top), and I can attest that the ECHL lifestyle is actually pretty damn good.

He seems to imply college was a tough financial time, and this is just as bad.  I’d bet a month of my life he was on college scholarship as I was (he started every game at University of Nebraska-Omaha, of course he was). I had tuition/books/room and board and stipend, all provided.  I had no extra money, but I also had zero debt from college, as I’m sure was his case.  Which means it’s never been all that hard (cash-wise) for the guy.

Has since moved on to Tampa Bay

Taking his current money stresses to the public - some whom are dealing with foreclosure, bankruptcy, etc. and saying “my money situation is no easier than those tough college days” makes it smell like he simply doesn’t get it, and takes him out of the “he’s just a normal guy” status so many fans enjoy.  Did he expect a bunch of “boy, that does seem tough, Dan” style responses?

I’ve written plenty of columns that bitched about certain aspects of playing pro hockey.  But at the same time, I’ve done my best to stop short of saying “people don’t get how tough athletes have it”, because frankly…. c’mon, Bourne.  It was never that hard.

I think back to how much guys complained about certain promotional events (the worst part of being a minor leaguer), and compare it to the worst parts of other people’s jobs…. and holy shit, you can’t even compare the two.

Anyway, before this gets away from me, just thought I’d say: I’m okay with him being open and honest – in fact, I really enjoy it, even when guys say stupid things.  But with their right to say those things, comes my right to point out the idiocy in them.  …There just has to be a bit of a filter there, a little social grace, some tact.

Predicted next Ellis problem: “Man, I hate how all these girls in Florida want me for being a millionaire in the spotlight. Can’t a guy get a little down time?”

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BizNasty Thoughts:

So, for the Quote-Standings on the right, we contemplated taking Biz out of the running, the way Gretzky used to get taken out of scoring pools cause it was so obvious he was going to win.  But I have a theory why he might not….

Biz Nasty and his lady friend.

That twitter feed of his, at some point, is going to bite him in the ass.  Who knows if he’ll be able to maintain having it all year long.  So let’s say he loses it:

He plays in Phoenix, which doesn’t get the most coverage in the league.  Also, he’s a fourth line guy who gets in about half the games.  So he’s not exactly the first guy reporters look to for an interview in the dressing room (though he’s definitely moving himself up the queue).

So if he loses twitter, we lose the majority of quotes from Biz.  And then what?  He could be beaten!

My other Biz thought:  Could his spiel get tiring?  He reminds of a certain breed of guy in the locker room that’s a blast 90% of the time, but to be avoided the other ten.  As Crushasaurus was the first to say…. we’ll see if the Biz-love last the whole season and beyond.  For now: lovin’ it.

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Here’s a fun one to bat around.  From a reader email, Hobbit says:

“Here it is:  IF the NHLPA had a strong leader and Bettman and Co. offered the 40 year old cut-off date, what should the response have been?

Answer:  No problem Mr. Commissioner, in return we only ask that each team be allowed one players salary be exempt from the cap hit.”

Whaddya think?  I think I kinda like it.

Caps Goaltending, Modano, and Quality Sportswriting

It’s that time of year – NHL news is at a minimum, and summer fun is at a maximum.  Although, I live in Phoenix, so it’s “winter” here (you don’t go outside for very long if you can avoid it).  I will say this about the heat though – it’s not as bad as people say. 

It was supposedly 115 here last Saturday, and we spent four middle-of-the-day hours floating on tubes down Salt River.  We still sit by the pool periodically.  Basically, if water is involved, you can make it work.

Anyway, the point is that there isn’t much to discuss around the NHL.  I, for one, care zero percent about prospect camps.  I mean, literally, zero.  So, until something relevant comes up (Kovy signing!), lets BS about random, puck-based stuff.

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It's not that he's bad, it's that you're too close to a Cup to accept anything but great.

So, the Flyers Capitals are really going through with the whole “nah, we’re good on a goalie” thing?  To those fans who keep saying Varlamov will get better and will be able to get it done, I ask you – why are you okay with rebuilding at one position?  Do it everywhere or nowhere.  The rest of your team is ready now.  Actually, it’s been ready for two years, both of which you’ve squandered by accepting mediocrity in net. 

Fine, Varlamov is going to be great some day.  So let him back up til that day.  Or trade the potential he (or Neuvirth) has for a decent defender, and sign one of the million quality goaltenders looking for work.  Y’know, so you can try and win that Cup thingy.  This team is ready, if they’d just adresss their very few weaknesses.  If you don’t, you risk becoming the Flyers.

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Do you want Mike Modano to come to your team?  As in, a guy playing the role of third line checker with a goal scorer’s body and a good amount of gray in his beard?  Probably not right?  Yet for some reason, I can see it working under Babcock in Detroit.  And only there.

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Follow this link to read borderline NHLer Paul Bissonette’s hilarious (though somewhat offensive) tweet-binge about how women aren’t as funny as men.  Or as smart.

The tweets remind me of being in a locker room, so you may enjoy them.  Raw stuff.  Feel free to poke around that site too, it belongs to friend of the blog, Callum McCarthy.

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He's got a pretty good life goin...

SPORTS WRITING: As many of you are aware, my favourite sportswriter is Bill Simmons (though, oddly, that’s been waning a bit of late – undoubtedly something to do with him just making podcasts and retro-diaries, AKA lazy stuff).  It’s hard to write 5,000-8,000 words coherently, and this guy composes clear arguments that seem to span the length of entire books.  Unfortunately, Bill rarely covers hockey.

Between Simmons and my favourite hockey writer is a guy who acts as a nice segueway for me here, Bruce Arthur.  I’m a new reader and twitter follower, but from what I’ve taken in thus far, he’s kinda half-hockey half-basketball.  There’s some clever bite in his writing, and the guy seems like a good thinker.

And, as I’ve also mentioned before, my colleague (and general superior) Greg Wyshynski makes the grade as my favourite hockey writer.  Of course, I’m far too involved in hockey to agree with everything anyone says (like I do with Simmons on basketball), but 96.75% of the time, I can get on Greg’s page.  He’s fair, funny, knows WAY too much about players, teams and history, and writes well.  Best of all, he doesn’t take the sport too seriously, like, say, every single writer from the Toronto area.

Today’s post on free agency is great, and includes a line from agents (about their players) that Islanders fans can choke on: “The money was pretty much the same everywhere. Guys were just deciding on where they wanted to play the most,” said one agent.  Hey Isles, nobody’s choosing you for your low house prices and Cup-winning potential.  Might have to go a bit above and beyond matching offers these days.

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I’m convinced Steve Yzerman is gonna be a rockin’ GM.  The Teddy Purcell signing was a nice way to get a good player in on a low salary, something he’s going to have to do since three of his players make something like a combined $25 million.

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The Hockey Greats Fantasy Camp is almost full.  We’re down to about a half-dozen available spots – email me at jtbourne@gmail.com if you’d like to inquire… it’s a once-in-a-lifetime summer vacation.  And when I say that, I don’t just do it as a pitch – I never try to sell my readers a damn thing, am I right?  My name is on this camp, and I’m proud of it.  We see more tears and hugs on the final day than I ever thought possible.  I’d love to have some more readers there (we already have two!)

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Happy Humpday.  Hope it’s a doozy!

Love-of-Team Tilts and The Skate-By

When Clark Gillies is your Dad, you can say this:

During the Coyotes/Lightnight game, Paul Bissonnette fought Matt Walker (first names learned after extensive Googling).  Bri, Clarks daughter and my fiance, says “Oh…. oh this is awkward.  I can’t watch.  *glancing through fingers* …Just so embarrassing…” 

I laughed my ass off.  Cause really… a fight where two semi-mad guys have good defensive jersey holds…. ain’t no Clark Gillies tilt (Bossy gets run in the corner just before the fight - long version is on YouTube): 

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And actually, that video is a nice intro to this weeks USA Today column.  I write a bit of a theory on why we’re seeing more players get their cantaloupe’s cracked with no suspension and rarely a real follow-up fight.  Enjoy.

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I hate the “goal-score skate-by”.

HATE IT.

There’s no quicker way for your teammates to build lingering resentment towards you than to score a goal, and insist on skating somewhere past the closest guy to get your extra four seconds of glory.  Curtis Glencross, my teammate in Alaska, was the king of this.  He’d skate by your open arms after a back-door pass he tapped in to go jump into the glass.  God, he loved him some glass jump.

This was not me.  The whole fun of the celebration is the stupid nonsensical shit that gets said in the pile anyways.  Especially in college, where skating down the bench is allowed -- guys are so fired up half they time they hustle more than they did on the actual goal.

But watching the NHL today, there’s still a large number of (*cough*euros*cough*) people doing the skate-by.  Which is why I was extremely happy to see the Penguins overtime winner the other day.  Dupuis scores, starts to skate mach six in the other direction, realizes that Staal went behind the net, stole the puck and passed it to him, and throws on the breaks.  I officially like Dupuis now.  Showed he has a conscience.

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What a finish to that game.  You know it’s a dangerous 3 on 2 when Sidney Crosby has the least dangerous shot on the rush.  Attaway Billy G.