Team Canada Finds Olympic Glory

 

First, a major thank-you to the Americans and all the other countries for being, from what I’ve read, great guests up in Vancouver, BC.  After starting the Olympics on such a horrible, sad note, it sounds to me like things pulled together nicely, save for a few not-so-serious gaffes. 

Apparently security did a wonderful job of keeping fans and participants safe, all while not showing so much as a single weapon.  The games were the most eco-friendly to date, had the least doping violations ever, and the events were thrilling the whole way through (so much so that I keep hearing Americans talk about CURLING).  And the best part is, you know the athletes were getting along just fine as well, cause the Olympic village ran out of their initial shipment of ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND CONDOMS.

Second, a holy-shit to the American team for playing the tournament they played over the past ten days.  What a frustrating, talented group of guys Brian Burke assembled, and with Ryan Miller in net, they limited the firepower-filled Canadian roster to three goals twice.  So congrats on that well-earned silver medal.

And third, TEAM CANADA and that damn hockey game:

You know when you’re about to play a big game, and you’re getting lined up for the draw, and there’s that little bit of fun/nervous anticipation?  Then the pace of play for the first minute is like, mach six, until everyone realizes, “holy crap, we can’t keep this up for 60″ and drops back into normal game mode?  Yesterday’s game never dropped into normal game mode.

As I tend write on loop, difference-makers are the key to having success in hockey.  It’s a team game, but if you don’t have “that guy” to make that big play and break the score open, it’s hard to win when it counts.

The US has plenty of difference-makers, of course, but very few make a difference like Sidney Crosby does, at anything.  The goal wasn’t exceptional, you may say, but it’s how he gets to that shot that is.  After almost losing the puck in the ref’s skates, he makes a one-handed stick poke to get the puck low to Iginla in the corner, then breaks to the net, and out-skates the same man who buried the Canadians in the round-robin game, Brian Rafalski.  The touch of the puck he makes before the quick release, to move it out away from his feet was special – he had that thing in a shooting position before Miller could even flinch.

I’m handing out a tournament report card to each one of Steve Yzerman’s picks, because I feel like it.  Settle in for the long haul folks, and lets pick the Canadian squad apart.

Goalies:

 

1 ROBERTO LUONGO  (Vancouver)

Grade:  A -

The goalie that wins you the gold medal has to get some variation of an “A”, at least, right?  He faced a career-defining opportunity, and answered the bell.  If Canada hadn’t got it done last night, he’s Mickelson before his first major.  Actually, more accurately, he’d probably be Sergio Garcia today (best to never win the big one).  His defenders have been leaning on “he’s never been on a good enough team to get it done” forever, and knew this was a no-excuses moment for Bobby Lu.  Well played sir.  Well played.

29 MARC-ANDRE FLEURY (Pittsburgh)

30 MARTIN BRODEUR (New Jersey)

Grade: C

The reality is, things didn’t go well for Marty – the only time he played well was in the shootout versus Switzerland, and that wasn’t exactly the moment we needed our goalie to rise up.  That moment was two days later, and he simply wasn’t on when we needed him the most.  No big deal.

Defense:

2  DUNCAN KEITH (Chicago)

Grade: A+

One of the few Canadians that earned the elusive “plus”.  Holy crap was he great – I thought he took a major step in the public understanding of just how reliable, fast and talented he is.  He’s the type of guy you put on Belarus, give the guy 40 minutes of ice time and suddenly Belarus is tough to beat.

6  SHEA WEBER (Nashville)

Grade: A+

Contrary to the impression Canadian fans probably got, he wasn’t paired with Niedermeyer to have some veteran experience with youthful skill.  He was there so Niedermeyer could have someone to pick him up when things melted down.  The guy slapped a puck through the net, put people through the boards, and confirmed that he’s probably in the top five NHL defenseman today.

7  BRENT SEABROOK  (Chicago)

Grade: B

He was fine.  Playing with the probable Norris Trophy favourite right now helps, but he looked good in his own right.  He did exactly what was asked of him – nothing crazy, play defense-first, and trust that we had forwards capable of getting us goals.

8  DREW DOUGHTY  (Los Angeles)

Grade:  A-

He wasn’t asked to be a member of the Canadian team to be a game breaker, he was asked because he’s one hell of a fine d-man today with an even brighter tomorrow ahead of him.  I thought he played physical and smart, and Babcock did a great job of using him in an effective way without ever heaping too much responsibility on him.

20 CHRIS PRONGER (Philadelphia)

Grade: C

He gets a “plus” because it’s impossible to look really bad when you play with the guys Chris was playing with on Team Canada, but Pronger fans, it’s over.  He’s still got the big shot, but when you’re a physical d-man, and you get slow, you start playing like Andy Sutton.  Which is to say, you get yourself out of position by trying to be physical instead of it coming naturally.  He’s forcin’ it, at this point.

22  DAN BOYLE  (San Jose)

Grade:  A

Boyle played a key part in the biggest moment of the tournament for Canada – coming out against Russia like a house-on-fire.  Even if Canada wins that game but struggles doing it, the confidence to do what their team did may never get built.  He played within himself (in a good way), and when we needed someone to step the f**k up, he came at Russia like angry pitbull.

27 SCOTT NIEDERMEYER (Anaheim)

Grade: C +

Over his career, Niedermeyer has proven again and again that he’s got the tools necessary to be a threat offensively, and sound defensively.  Earlier in the tournament, I even mentioned I felt comfortable with him out there.  By the end of the tournament, I was just thankful we got away without getting too badly burnt by him.  Jack Johnson skated around him like he was ankle deep in mud, and what’s worse, is he’s supposed to handle the puck so well, but turned the puck over far more often the “young gun” d-men he was supposed to be leading.  When he had time, he still made some good plays, and transitioned the Canadian forwards well, but as I mentioned earlier, I was just happy he had Weber to back him up when he needed it most.

Forwards:

10  BRENADN MORROW (Dallas)

Grade: B+

For me, Morrow was a “I just don’t see him making a big enough difference to justify his spot” pick.  It seemed like he was there out of obligation.  As the tournament wore on though, and the games got more serious, I was pumped to have him out there.  Difference-makers are doubly effective when they play with guys doing it the right way, and I though Morrow complimented the skill guys well.

11 PATRICK MARLEAU

Grade: B -

Marleau made a nice play on the Perry goal in the finals to make it 2-0 by driving the net, but beyond that, I hardly noticed the guy.  For a guy with his goal scoring history, to play with the studs he plays with and see powerplay time, I can honestly say I hardly ever noticed him, and was surprised when I did. 

12  JAROME IGINLA (Calgary)

Grade: A

Crazy, right?  But the fact of the matter is, over this tournament, he earned that A.  I know his goals were against the dog teams, but you felt good with Iggy out there knowing a few things:  One, he’s a work horse with the need to win, not the “want” to win that a guy like Thornton seems to have.  Two, if he gets it in a danger zone, he has one of the best shots in the world.  And three, he’s smart with the puck.  Limits tournovers, passes when he needs to, but thinks shot first.  I thought he was great, just like in 2002. (Oh, and the slick play on the OT winner helps)

15 DANY HEATLEY (San Jose)

Grade: B

Shark fans, you scared yet?  I thought Heatley was the most dangerous player on the Sharks line, getting a couple good opportunities every night, and scored a few nice goals for the boys in red and white.  That said, he’s a fairly one-dimensional player, and if he’s not scoring, his VORP (value over replacement player, baseball stat) is pretty low.

16  JONATHAN TOEWS  (Chicago)

Grade: A+

A few days ago, I made a joke about Toews not scoring a goal that was totally sarcastic, and I got a few questions about it – trust me, it was sarcastic.  He was the best forward on Team Canada throughout the tournament, bar none, and if Ryan Miller wasn’t the Second Coming I’d proclaim JT tourney MVP.  I don’t think he was on the ice once in the entire tournament for a goal against, he was a dishing machine, a work-horse, reliable, and scored the huge, huge first goal in the final game, from the exact same spot that Pavel Demitra hit iron from about 40 hours earlier.  Chicago is fahking scary right now.

18  MIKE RICHARDS  (Philadelphia)

Grade: A

Part of the fun of these events is cheering for guys you normally root for getting sent down to the SPHL (real league), and Richards is one of them.  He was the most pleasant surprise of the tournament, proving how his all-around game makes him one of the best linemates to have in the league.  He plays physical, but also pays unwavering attention to defense.  More than anything, he has all the offensive tools, and is by no means a grinder.  He was the reason Toews got the look he did on the first goal, and deserves much praise for his play in Vancouver.

19 JOE THORNTON  (San Jose)

Grade: C +

Same ‘ol, same ‘ol for Playoff Joe, huh?  It’s tough to describe where he goes at times like this, but I know one thing – you can’t fake “fire”, and deep inside Joe burns a firepit…. around which he’s strumming a guitar, drinking a corona, and roasting a pig. 

21  ERIC STAAL  (Carolina)

Grade: A -

The danger when you chuck together these national all-star teams is the fancy-pantsery goes overboard and effective play dwindles (see: the Russians).  Having a guy like Staal on your team takes care of that, by combining a talented finisher with an old-school Canadian mentality – drive the middle, finish your checks, take care of your own end first.  The promotion to the Crosby line was a great thing for Canada, cause it meant he’d get more ice time.

24  COREY PERRY  (Anaheim)

Grade: B

Probably the toughest guy to grade, because I literally don’t remember seeing him until he’d score.  I can’t think of any defensive meltdowns, and he scored a few big goals for Canada, so you have to give the guy a good grade, but in the end, I just can’t think of him controlling the play.  Whatever.  I’ll take a few snipes and a vanishing act from Corey this year.

37  PATRICE BERGERON  (Boston)

Grade:  C +

I always hated getting judged when I didn’t get the chance to prove myself (see: playing on the fourth line during an American League call up), but the facts are this, Patrice:  you weren’t in the lane 40 seconds into the round-robin game against the US, and Rafalski scored.  You’re a winger, the defensive part of your job isn’t that hard, and us Canadians were kind of taking that game seriously.  So sit down and wait for a penalty to go kill.

51  RYAN GETZLAF  (Anaheim)

Grade: B +

Getzlaf was plenty of effective plenty of times, but he also showed a disturbing penchant for making really shitty, what-the-f**k-was-that? type plays.  You expect, when you watch the best players in the world, not to see guys relying so heavily on talent over smarts.  You don’t expect to see plays that are so obviously guesses.  On the other hand, he was an offensive force who finished his checks and made a difference.  B +.

61  RICK NASH  (Columbus)

Grade: A

I’m a little disappointed, because I thought he could’ve been an A + guy early on in the tournament.  Maybe I just haven’t watched him enough, but he looked next to impossible to contain like 95% of the time.  His stat line and the fact that he wasn’t in on the biggest moments are the only thing stopping me from chucking out a +, but I was really wow’ed by the kind of player he is.  And actually, he was physical as all-hell too, something I didn’t know he had in ‘im.  I bet a trade and some linemates would do amazing things for the guy.

And last, but not least….

87  SIDNEY CROSBY  (Pittsburgh)

Grade: A

 Sid scored the game-winning overtime goal in the gold medal game, so for that he gets a plus in all our hearts.  He was a constant threat, made his linemates better, and controlled the play down low whenever he got his mitts on the puck.  I think he only had about seven points on his teams thirty-some goals, but he did what he needed to do, once again.  It was the perfect stage for sid to grow his legend, and grow he did.  Funny, I wonder if anybody saw the stage was set and knew he’d cash in on it….

jtbourne – First sip of Molson Canadian went down like smooth deliciousness. I predict a positive Crosby highlight from today that we’ll see for years. sent 22 hours ago via mobile web

 So congratulations to Steve Yzerman, Mike Babcock, the players, and the fans in Canada on  job well done.  Mission accomplished guys.

HOW FUN WAS THAT?!?

Canadian Lines, Getzlaf, and Ovy on Jagr

 

I ran this song a while back, but I figured I’d run it again because I’m “Beggin’” Team Canada to figure it the f**k out.

 *****

Goooood morning!  It’s a new day, and I’m feeling much better after spending yesterday dealing with Canada’s loss like a bad breakup.  Face it, accept it, and move on kids.

Today’s the public disembowling of Germany, (still with me on that right?  Guys?) so that’ll feel good.  Nothing like beating up some kid at school cause you failed a test.  Now let’s talk lines:

I’ve mentioned before that I’m not a big fan of the concept of “chemistry”.  Sure, you might figure out the tendencies of your linemates after a few games, but the only people that I believe have true ”chemistry” are the Sedins.

I like the term “clicking” better, because that’s what it is.  Alex Burrows “clicks” with the Sedins, because his style suits what they need to be successful, that being, they need the puck to be effective, and he goes and gets it. 

So I’m not sure that keeping Heatley/Thornton/Marleau together is as necessary as we’ve all been acting.  The only guy really benefitting from that line is Marleau - the other two are on pace for the same years they always have.  The line is just so deadly because there’s three dangerous players on the ice, not cause they have any particular chemistry (in fact, Thornton got more points the year he played with the CHEECHOO train). 

Here’s what I’d like to see:

Nash – Crosby – Staal
Toews – Thornton – Heatley
Marleau – Richards – Getzlaf
Iggy – Morrow – Perry – Bergeron

…Or something to that effect.  The point being that Staal and Toews are playing too well and are too effective to be toiling with Brendan Morrow and Patrice Bergeron on the fourth line.

What would you like to see with who-where-when-why-how? (Or just answer the who part, maybe).

*****

I was explaining to a buddy how Getzlaf plays last night, and it’s tough to describe, so bear with me.  I’ve skated with him a bunch in summer hockey, and here’s the best I can do:

You know the move where a guy comes down on a defenseman, stick to the middle, and fakes a shot while pulling it between his own legs, then picks it up on the other side of the d-man?  You know the move I’m talking about?

Point is, kids from 13 and up do the move.  Or the move where, a guy is standing behind the net, a d-man comes to get him, so the player banks it off the back/bottom of the net and picks it up on the other side of the d-man?  You know those moves.

Anyways, most players reach a point where, they can do them all very easily, but they stop working, because professional d-men aren’t retarded and we’re not playing Junior B anymore. 

Well, apparently, if you’re 6’4″ 235, you can still do them.

Guys occasionally read his somewhat-obvious, junior-style moves, but he’s so big that he just out-reaches, or out-muscles guys to make the play work.  His reach makes such a difference, and he uses his body well.  So, it’s not that his moves are lame, that’s not my point - you can’t blame the guy for using moves that work, no matter where they came from.  It’s just that he’s not exactly… a revolutionary, he’s just one of those guys that are physically built from birth to have success at hockey.

The problem is, when the moves don’t involve muscle and size, ie. sneaky passes, he’ll sometimes look like a junior player again.  Whiiiich might by why last game, he had flashes of looking too young to buy booze in Alberta.

*****

I figured I’d weigh-in on an entry by my buddy Greg Wyshynski over at Puck Daddy, who chose to question the legality of the Oveckin/Jagr hit.  My thoughts: if we ever change a rule that makes that body check illegal, I’m switching favourite sports.

Jagr, in open ice with full possession, tries to cut back across the grain on a guy who’s coming from that direction (redundant, but REALLY, Jagr?).  Again, with the puck – not like he was trying to corral a pass. 

If you can’t hit a guy then and there, with no strides taken and your shoulder down, holy shit our game has no hope.  Sure, his head gets hit because it’s in the way of his body (read: down), but that’s not a “head shot”, as the dangerous infractions have been termed - surely we can discern the difference between that hit and Richards-on-Booth, no?  The point of contact is to separate the man from the puck, like Ovy did, not the head from the body, like Richards tried.

Our game won’t be served well if we implement a black-and-white interpretation of head shots - Jagr buries his head to fully commit to the direction change, and Ovy is sure as shit allowed to hit him there, otherwise everyone should skate around head-first for protection (the hit starts at the 50 second point of the video). 

So yeah.  I vote “legal”.

(I wish I had longer video to show how long Ovechkin goes without taking a stride before the hit, haters.)

*****

Canada.  Germany.  Anyone wanna put something on Germany against Canada?  I’ll give you odds.

WHAT DO YOU THINK TODAY’S BLOG IS ABOUT???

 

Sorry, was that title a little testy?

Well, it looks like our Canadian boys feel like taking the road NOBODY TRAVELS BECAUSE IT’S COVERED IN POISON AND THORNS AND SHARKS WITH LEGS, but hey, who can blame ‘em? 

Oh, I can?  Sweet.  I love writing.

Right from the Rafalski nightmare 41 seconds in, the game shaped up the exact way an underdog upsets an, um, …overdog:

*Weather the early storm (or in this case, quell it entirely).
*Have your goalie come up big while you rope-a-dope the shot chart.
*Get a couple breaks (you all know Rafalski fanned on his second goal, right?  Badly?)
*Keep the crowd out by answering any momentum turning plays (the US responded masterfully to Canada’s goals)
*And lean, lean, lean on team defense and goaltending.
(*also, make a pact with Satan promising any and all future children to his service)

And just like that, the Americans got it done, and wowee are they positioned nicely.  Not only did they get a quarterfinal bye and the one-seed, but Russia’s round-robin loss to Slovakia ensured that the US side of the pool is clearly the shallow end.

After beating Germany (a foregone conclusion …isn’t it?  Guys?), Canada will once again have to play Russia in the quarterfinals, just like in Torino.  And we all know how well that went (“We’re number seven!  We’re number seven!”).  If they did get by Russia, they’d probably see Sweden.  And then hopefully the US again in the finals.  Baru – tal.

It’s like a video game, where you can see the health meter of your character, and each hit he takes brings it down a notch.  Think there’ll be enough notches to get us to a US – Canada rematch?

OF COURSE BOURNE’S BLOGGERS DO, WE’RE ALL PRO-CANADA, REMEMBER!?

In all seriousness, congrats to the American team.  You can only chalk up so much to luck and our failure.  The US boys played a great game.

A few thoughts from the game:

*Great one-handed empty-netter by Kesler, a guy who, if he had Twitter, would’ve lost like 6,000 Canadian followers in the past two days.

*I dogged the Niedermeyer pick, but I gotta say, I’m pretty comfortable with him out there over a few other guys.

*Rick Nash, Rick Nash, Rick Nash.  The guy just looks unstoppable, man.  I love pairing him with Sid.  How many people have made the joke about them being unable to find their “Stills”?

*I watched the game at a bar with 17 TV’s, all on hockey, with dollar beers and only one other Canadian fan amongst the swarm of Americans - and we all had a blast.  Good, fun ribbing from the victorious Americans who played “Born in the USA” at the final buzzer.  Good times.

*Bri and I drove over the hills and through the woods around Phoenix to find a USA t-shirt for her. It didn’t even have to be hockey, but still nothing.  Not in the whole mall, Just Sports, Dicks Sporting Goods, Sports Authority, the Nike store, nothing.  Our last ditch effort to TARGET provided one.  What’s going on, US merchandisers?  THE OLYMPICS ARE ON!

*****

Player I’d like to see more of:

 

Shea Weber

Everyone bounces off this guy like a bouncy-ball hit with a tennis racquet.  He’s got a booming slapper, but when they put him out on the powerplay, he plays with Doughty, also a right shot, and they have Doughty on the one-timer side.  I don’t think he saw nearly enough minutes (or proper usage) for a guy who could well be in the top few in the NHL.

Honorable mention:

Duncan Keith

Even in one of the fastest games I’ve seen since the ’09 playoffs (okay, the fastest), he looks like he’s in fast forward.  And like Scott Niedermeyer, he made a lot of great first passes to help transition Canada from defense to offense.  Also: Rick Nash and Jonathan Toews.

Player I’d like to see less of:

 

Sigh…. Marty Brodeur

Everyone likes to say that Luongo has “never won anything”, but he certainly hasn’t been given a lot of chances to (bad Florida teams, bad Canuck teams, and just recently a couple good ones).  If we’re going on history, didn’t MA Fleury win the most recent Stanley Cup, while Brodeur single-handedly puked an entire series to Carolina over the span of one minute?  I’m a Brodeur fan, but I think it’s time we look to one of the other two guys.  He made some big saves, but we expect that from the best in our country.

Dishonorable mention:

Corey Perry, holy crap, Corey Perry.  I shouldn’t call it dishonorable mention for the following guys, really, but I’d like to see more from Brent Seabrook, Drew Doughty, and Patrice Bergeron (not that he’ll see many minutes).

*****

What a great tournament.  Hope you guys enjoyed last night too, and for those of you who enjoy my writing, you can be thankful I chose to stay alive and see the tournament through.

GO CANADA!

(Olympic Hockey) LIVE BLOG, Tiger Woods Press Conference

 

LIVE BLOG starts a few paragraphs below, skip on down if you don’t care about my thoughts on Olympic hockey.  I don’t blame you if you don’t.  I barely do.

*****

Resuming a debate from yesterday:  If you were a GM building a team, would you rather have Rick Nash or Ilya Kovalchuk?  Tough call right?  Nash is a handful out there man, I certainly don’t envy d-men trying to stop him.  I feel like he gets 10 chances to Kovalchuk’s one, but Kovalchuk buries his like he’s hiding a dead body.

*****

So, Canada struggles against the Swiss (who, you would assume, DOMINATE the neutral zone).  I DVR’ed the game and chucked it on again when Bri went to bed to see what I could see. 

I saw Canada looking just fine.  They created a ton of chances, and really, the Swiss didn’t have many of their own (though I would’ve liked to see their first goal, THANKS CNBC for rolling out your newest hockey coverage feature, COMPLETELY ARBITRARY COMMERCIAL BREAKS.  Now seems like a good time, sell the people some detergent.

What that game did do, was make the Canada/US game that much more exciting for me.  The way the tournament format works, those top four spots are crucial, and both teams could still easily grab one.  And while we were floundering against the Swiss (again), it wasn’t like the US was running through Norway (until the end). But then, I know, it’s kinda hard to when you know you can win in autopilot.  Plus, Norway has TORE VIKINGSTAD, so they’ve got that goin’ for them.

But hockey isn’t the big news story of the day.  Tiger is.  And what you don’t need, is some media outlets moralistic view of what Tiger needs to do to make amends for being a slimy scuzzbucket.  What you need is the view of Bourne’s Blog - all the guy is to me is an entertainer, and that’s what he’s going to do again.  So take the stage Tiger, and dance, playboy, dance!

*****

TIGER WOODS LIVE BLOG PRESS CONFERENCE

Alright, first note – if Tiger says he won’t play in the Masters, the live blog immediately ends so I can shatter the nearest glass and eat the shards.

Tiger’s therapy called for a week off, which is why he’s doing the press conference today.  So yeah, it has nothing to do with taking away eyes from the tournament being sponsored by the same people who just dropped him from their sponsorship list.  Seriously.

And the last note before we get underway, is yes, I realize this is lowest common denominator stuff.  But let me have this.  Sometimes it’s fun to live down to the title “blogger”.

*****

8:35: ESPN has the ghost of Rick Reilly chime in on his thoughts about Tiger.  The guy looks like all that rain in Vancouver actually did soak his skin to a wrinkly, pruny mess.  Sor-ee, Rick.

8:55:  Tiger has serious security detail with him.  There’s three dudes with guns, and Elin with a nine iron.

8:56:  As Justin_Stangel tweeted, the official press conference rules are as follows:  No multiple cameras, no questions and no fat chicks.

8:59:  Did you hear that Phil Mickelson called Elin Nordegren? He asked her for some tips on beating Tiger.  (Ahhh, what a gold mine of material.  Thanks Tiggs)

9:00:  Just had this one sent to me:  “The police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. “I can’t remember,” Elin said, “just put me down for a 5.”

9:03:  This feels 100% like an SNL skit.  LIVE FROM NEW YORK, ITS SATURDAY NIGHT!

9:05:  Oh wow, this is actually really sad.

9:06:  Wait, no it isn’t.  Did he just remind us of his charity work?  Holy crap Tiger, you really missed the mark with the “I’m actually still great” hint.

9:08:  Okay, it’s funny again.  Thanks for this one:” Tiger’s other women aren’t mistresses. They’re provisionals.”

9:10:  It wouldn’t have killed the guy to give this a run-through in the mirror once or twice, hey?  Did he get to see the script before they turned the cameras on for his monologue?

9:11:  Why do I feel like I’m being scolded?  Great point by Josh in comments – he should just put a ball down on a tee and swing.  I’d golf clap and forget this speech ever happened.

9:13:  I’m boggled that people can talk this long without making an actual point.

9:14:  Buddhism!  Yes!  What a twist!  Tiger’s a big fan of rubbing belly’s, apparently.

9:15:  HOW DID HE NOT WEAR RED FOR THE BIGGEST MOMENT OF HIS CAREER?

9:16:  Therrreee’s the orchaestrated tears.  I thought we’d see more of those. 

9:18:  Tiger hugs his old college teammate, who knows he’s crying because now he actually only gets one woman for the rest of his life.  Tiger sobs “I’m just too famous to get … sob… away now.”

9:20: No mention of the Masters, but a mention of Buddhism.  I did NOT see that coming.  Aight, I’m out people.  What’d you think?

Olympic Hockey: Day One

 

Ahhh, that Canadian hockey rap kills me.  I used to love that Tupac song.  So much so that I just YouTubed the actual song and realized how much I miss the “Westsiiieeede!” sign.  I lived in Kelowna’s Westside growing up, so I didn’t actually play for “Kelowna”, I played for “Wesst-siiddde!” – I was straight hood throwing up that gang sign.

On to the puck.

*****

USA: 3 – Switzerland: 1

There just wasn’t a whole lot to be gleaned about the quality of the American team from watching this game.  Nothing changed in what I think of their team – they’re talented, young and fast, but probably not quiiite as top-tier-dangerous as Russia, Sweden or Canada.  Granted, this tournament boils down to one game eliminations, and they have the best goalie, so don’t rule ‘em out.

Switzerland played a pretty defensive style for the first half of the game (which, frankly, was not exactly a thrilling spectacle of hockey), but when they did fall behind, the game opened up and made it infinitely more watchable.

The one the thing (aside from Ryan Miller) the US does have going for them, is that Patrick Kane is officially one of the ten best players in the National Hockey League.  For the first time in his career, you start getting that “oh… oh… oh crap” feeling when he gets the puck in the neutral zone and starts winding it up, the same way you get it when Ovechkin has the puck against your team.  (They also have Bobby Ryan going for them.  I’m fantasy hockey stalking him for next year.)

*****

Canada: 8 – Bosnia & Herzegovina: 0

Why doesn’t Norway have a better hockey team?  I mean that seriously.

They’re one of three Scandanavian countries that are at the same degree of latitude as Alaska, and the other two (Sweden and Finland) rip shit up on frozen ponds.  To top it off, it’s not like Norway doesn’t rock the party that rocks the party at winter sports.  They cross-country ski the crap out of the Olympics every year.  And are you kidding me with the biathalon?  Those MF’ers can snipe a squirrel out of a tree in Oregon after skiing the Iditarod, but we can’t strap a set of Bauer 60′s on some of these guys and make them NHL’ers?  Baffling.

Canada got what we needed – the blowout that alleviates the media vultures (hey look, it’s me!) who are dying to Stamkos/Spezza/Green poor Yzerman to death the second the team under produces.

Canadians score in a totally different way than Russia.  Russia does talented fancy stuff until the net is crazy open, or wait to shoot until it’s almost a guarantee (generalization, of course).  Canada creates by throwing the puck at the net, shooting through screens and tracking down rebounds.  We’re far less prone to puck possession.  Get it deep, go get it.  Shoot it, find the rebound.  One way isn’t better than the other (unless you’re a coach, in which case you love Canada’s style – far less risky), I’m just pointing out the difference.

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Bourne’s Bloggers from Phoenix.  Lets watch Canada/USA Together.

The “Hoser Hut”, as Cactus Jacks was affectionately dubed by a BB reader (Elliot and 48th, off the 101, near Walgreens and Safeway), will be host to a number of both Canadian and American hockey fans (okay, largely American) on Sunday, and the bar has accomodated us.

The game starts at 5:40, I’m told, and they’re doing this for us from 2:00 til 8:00:

$1 pints of Canadian (love the concept, the beer is vile)
$1 pints of Coors Light (as a result of my complaining about the Molson – and actually, they’re listing it as pints of Canadian VERSUS pints of Coors Light, so maybe I have to drink the Canadian. Should I mix the two since I’m a duelly?)
25 cent wings
$1 Chicago Dogs

So bring a ten dollar bill (a $20 if you’re crazy), your TEAM CANADA apparel and let’s have some fun!

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Random Q: New Yorkers, when I visit, do I say I’m ”in” Long Island or “on” Long Island?

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Last and least, a link to the Latvian hockey roster, because I’m obsessed with their names.  It’s like they went with plural forms of muppet names, right?  Oskars Snufalufagus.  Gonzos Cookiemonsters.