NHL Standings Chat
Happy Monday morning, friends! Hope you had a good weekend – it was a beauty in PHX, minus my double bogey on 18. More on that tomorrow..
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NHL standings talk! First, the West:
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LEGEND ›
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| DIV | GP | W | L | OT | Pts | GF | GA | DIFF | Home | Away | L10 | Streak | ||
| 1 | CEN | 71 | 45 | 19 | 7 | 97 | 234 | 179 | +55 | 26-7-3 | 19-12-4 | 4-4-2 | ||
| 2 |
* - Phoenix Coyotes
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PAC | 73 | 46 | 22 | 5 | 97 | 201 | 179 | +22 | 26-10-2 | 20-12-3 | 9-1-0 | Won 9 |
| 3 | NW | 72 | 44 | 24 | 4 | 92 | 236 | 187 | +49 | 26-8-2 | 18-16-2 | 6-2-2 | ||
| 4 | PAC | 72 | 43 | 19 | 10 | 96 | 232 | 192 | +40 | 22-6-8 | 21-13-2 | 3-6-1 | Lost 5 | |
| 5 | CEN | 73 | 42 | 26 | 5 | 89 | 206 | 203 | +3 | 21-12-2 | 21-14-3 | 7-3-0 | Won 6 | |
| 6 | PAC | 70 | 41 | 24 | 5 | 87 | 207 | 185 | +22 | 20-12-3 | 21-12-2 | 5-4-1 | Won 1 | |
| 7 | NW | 71 | 40 | 25 | 6 | 86 | 213 | 190 | +23 | 22-11-2 | 18-14-4 | 5-5-0 | Lost 2 | |
| 8 | CEN | 71 | 35 | 23 | 13 | 83 | 193 | 192 | +1 | 19-10-5 | 16-13-8 | 7-2-1 | Won 1 | |
| 9 | NW | 72 | 36 | 27 | 9 | 81 | 184 | 181 | +3 | 18-16-3 | 18-11-6 | 6-4-0 | Lost 1 | |
| 10 | CEN | 72 | 34 | 29 | 9 | 77 | 196 | 199 | -3 | 12-18-5 | 22-11-4 | 6-4-0 | Lost 1 | |
| 11 | PAC | 71 | 34 | 29 | 8 | 76 | 203 | 217 | -14 | 23-11-3 | 11-18-5 | 5-4-1 | Won 4 | |
| 12 | NW | 72 | 35 | 31 | 6 | 76 | 198 | 211 | -13 | 24-9-3 | 11-22-3 | 4-4-2 | Won 1 | |
| 13 | PAC | 72 | 31 | 27 | 14 | 76 | 208 | 230 | -22 | 20-10-7 | 11-17-7 | 3-5-2 | ||
| 14 | CEN | 72 | 29 | 31 | 12 | 70 | 187 | 229 | -42 | 18-11-7 | 11-20-5 | 4-3-3 | ||
| 15 | NW | 72 | 23 | 42 | 7 | 53 | 184 | 248 | -64 | 15-18-4 | 8-24-3 | 4-5-1 | Won 2 | |
Since none of us believe that Detroit is going to miss the playoffs – y’know, cause they aren’t going to – the real number for Calgary, St. Louis, Anaheim, Minnesota and Dallas to shoot for is the Avalanche’s 86 – ten points ahead with ten games to go. We could very well be looking at the exact same teams above the cutoff line ten games from now. In fact, I think we will be.
Because of that, this is the first year I’m thinking more about the playoff seeding of our eight qualifiers than who they actually are.
For San Jose, the best thing that could happen to their Cup chances would be to finish fourth, and play at least one of the “happy to make it this far” teams – that being Los Angeles, Nashville, and Colorado. All three of those teams were predicted to miss the playoffs at the start of the season, and when contrasted to their expectations, I think they’d be far more likely to roll over and die (or better put, be too content with their over-achieving regular seasons) than, well, any of the other four opponents in the West.
Will Phoenix finish above San Jose? It’s gonna be close – Phoenix has a tough road ahead with six of their last nine on the road (road gmes: Chicago, Nashville, Vancouver, Calgary, Los Angeles and San Jose), but I’ve finally learned my lesson on betting against them. The best part, as demonstrated in parantheses above, is that the last game of the year is San Jose versus Phoenix, and it could very well have huge who-plays-who implications.
As for the East….
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LEGEND ›
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| DIV | GP | W | L | OT | Pts | GF | GA | DIFF | Home | Away | L10 | Streak | ||
| 1 | SE | 72 | 48 | 14 | 10 | 106 | 283 | 203 | +80 | 26-4-4 | 22-10-6 | 7-1-2 | Won 1 | |
| 2 | ATL | 72 | 42 | 24 | 6 | 90 | 224 | 205 | +19 | 21-10-4 | 21-14-2 | 6-2-2 | ||
| 3 |
* - Buffalo Sabres
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NE | 71 | 39 | 22 | 10 | 88 | 200 | 180 | +20 | 21-9-6 | 18-13-4 | 6-3-1 | Won 3 |
| 4 | ATL | 71 | 42 | 25 | 4 | 88 | 189 | 169 | +20 | 24-10-1 | 18-15-3 | 5-4-1 | Lost 1 | |
| 5 | NE | 72 | 37 | 30 | 5 | 79 | 194 | 212 | -18 | 23-10-4 | 14-20-1 | 2-7-1 | Lost 5 | |
| 6 | ATL | 72 | 37 | 30 | 5 | 79 | 212 | 199 | +13 | 21-13-2 | 16-17-3 | 4-4-2 | Lost 2 | |
| 7 | NE | 72 | 36 | 29 | 7 | 79 | 196 | 198 | -2 | 18-13-4 | 18-16-3 | 7-2-1 | ||
| 8 | NE | 71 | 32 | 27 | 12 | 76 | 176 | 181 | -5 | 15-14-6 | 17-13-6 | 5-4-1 | Won 1 | |
| 9 | SE | 72 | 32 | 29 | 11 | 75 | 218 | 230 | -12 | 18-13-5 | 14-16-6 | 4-5-1 | Won 4 | |
| 10 | ATL | 72 | 31 | 32 | 9 | 71 | 186 | 197 | -11 | 15-17-6 | 16-15-3 | 3-5-2 | Lost 3 | |
| 11 | SE | 71 | 29 | 31 | 11 | 69 | 186 | 209 | -23 | 15-13-8 | 14-18-3 | 5-4-1 | Won 1 | |
| 12 | SE | 72 | 30 | 34 | 8 | 68 | 201 | 226 | -25 | 19-15-3 | 11-19-5 | 5-4-1 | Lost 1 | |
| 13 | ATL | 72 | 29 | 33 | 10 | 68 | 189 | 222 | -33 | 19-13-3 | 10-20-7 | 4-4-2 | Lost 1 | |
| 14 | SE | 72 | 28 | 32 | 12 | 68 | 188 | 225 | -37 | 18-12-6 | 10-20-6 | 2-7-1 | Lost 5 | |
| 15 | NE | 72 | 26 | 34 | 12 | 64 | 192 | 238 | -46 | 16-14-5 | 10-20-7 | 7-2-1 | Won 3 | |
A few things surprise me:
1) To teams on the bubble that have been trying to crack playoffs and be taken seriously for years (Atlanta, Tampa Bay, Florida…. okay, you too, New York teams): How bad do you need the other teams to be? They’ve done everything they can this year to lose and fail. Perennial playoff teams like Boston and Philly CANNOT be any worse than they’ve been. At some point, you’re gonna have to grab the bull by the horns and win some big games. To quote Floyd Mayweather, “step ya game up”.
2) As far as I know, neither Boston or Montreal has played consecutive good games this year. I’m amazed they’re in 7th and 8th. And poor Philly – better than Buffalo at every position, if you entirely ignore the fact that they have to play with AHL goalies. AGAIN.
Yep. Poor, poor Philly.
3) The crazy divide between the top four teams and the bottom four in the East is weird – it basically means the top four teams get a first round bye, which is nice in the NHL playoff marathon. The only team I’m not fully sold on that’s up there is Buffalo, simply because if Miller has a couple bad games, they can be beaten. Actually, y’know what might be fun? A Philly/Buffalo playoff series where Philly beats Buffalo like a drum for 50 of the 60 minutes every game, and loses 3-2 and 2-1 four straight times (after Biron Eche Cechmanek Boucher lets in a few soft ones).
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Kudos to Teemu Selanne for scoring 600 goals…. crazy that I’m old enough to remember his amazing rookie year.
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Even crazier? Kudos to ME for crawling from 16th out of the Bourne’s Blog Hockey League 20-team alley-fight (yes, that’s even crazier than Selanne’s 600 NHL goals, apparently), and climbing into a playoff spot the last week of the year. I chipped all the way up to seventh, and it’s a new season kiddies, look out!
Only five more days til Friday. And only a few more pounds til I go on Drew Magary’s twitter public humiliation diet. Dude is down 45 pounds so far.
No Suspension For Cooke – Idiocy Revealed
I received a great email from a reader today, which I think people should see. He made the following point:
“Campbell said the Richards hit set a precedent. I’ve not had a problem with the NHL’s suspensions and reasons for suspension this season unlike many others, but this one is absolutely ridiculous. There have been a couple precedents set, and one that directly involves Cooke.
Authors note: the following were video links, embedded below.
Precedent
Suspension
in reference to previously set precedent
The Anisimov hit Cooke was suspended for was ‘a check to the neck/head area.’”
Enjoy the videos in succession.
Reference:
Precedent:
In reference to previously set precedence:
Think those hits are accidents?
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I wrote a piece for The Hockey News on what I think should be a factor in making head shots legal/illegal. The GMs made nearly the exact same proposal I was hinting at. Check it out here.
Options For Avenging a Cheapshot Are Pretty Limited
Interesting timing – I was going through some columns that I had deemed unfit to release from a few months ago, and found this one about what David Booth can do to avenge getting his brain shaken by Mike Richards (short answer: nothing). But after Matt Cooke played the role of Richards in a recent re-enactment with Mark Savard, it seems relevant again.
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What Now?
-by Justin Bourne
Mike Richards scrambled David Booth’s eggs so thoroughly that the guy was no longer free range. It happened on a hit you’d be polite to describe as “questionable”.
Confined to the couch and bed, he avoided exercise like all concussion-cases, letting things heal themselves using the best known medication – time – and has since made his return to the Florida Panthers.
He watched Mike Richards get punished in the form of… um… he got punished by… er… really, he didn’t even get a game suspension? What the crap?
From David Booth’s perspective, you have to think the fella’s a little pissed. He narrowly missed being named to the US Olympic team, and was denied the chance to prove his worth over the course of this season, while Richards snuck onto one Team Canada as one of the last forwards chosen (they like that he plays a physical game, you see).
Without their top goal scorer (Booth had 31 goals last year), the team is currently a few points out of a playoff spot, and just behind… the Philadelphia Flyers, who are now technically in the playoffs.
Needless to say, the aftershocks of a decision made by Richards that happened in a split second are still reverberating throughout the Eastern Conference standings.
Florida played Philly about a month back and lumped them up 4-1, even without their star Booth. That was nice, but had they had him all season, who knows how many 2-1 games would have gone Florida’s way, or shootout losses would’ve gotten nullified with Booth in the lineup. Game breakers are tough to come by, and to be so close to the playoffs without theirs, the Panthers have a right to gripe.
In these cases, when you or a teammate gets drilled, people always tell you to beat them on the scoreboard. That doing that is the best revenge. That the scoreboard is where it really hurts.
Is it though? What’s Booth supposed to do when he comes back, try really really hard to win? You don’t think he was doing that before, and every other night of his career? He can’t control how the rest of his team plays. Maybe he’ll show up with his “A” game to beat the Flyers the next time they play but Florida won’t win. In hockey, you’re just one piece in a big team puzzle.
Tying to beat up your assailant isn’t the right answer either. Though noble, by the “fight him” logic, the toughest guys on the ice have free rein to destroy people, because you can’t ever get real physical revenge on a fight-winning human like George Laraques (though I’m sure Nicklas Kronwall would like to try, stick in hand, of course). You can always try, but if you get hit by a tougher dude, the only thing you get by going after him when you’re healthy is a chance to be made unhealthy again.
Also, there’s the whole moral thing, which can be a hassle. You’re supposed to be above that, you know.
There’s the idea that the player who injures another player illegally should be out as long as the player he injured, but that theory’s got more holes than an OJ alibi. I won’t even go into that theory.
So if you’re David Booth, how do you avenge the Richards hit?
Maybe you don’t. Maybe you just take your lumps, acknowledge you play in a contact league, and that hits like that – whoever’s to blame for them - are periodically gonna happen.
But that’s frustrating bullshit too.
The second you see Richards you’re going to want to hit him with a tire iron.
There’s just nothing you can do. When you get seriously injured in the NHL, not only do you suffer temporary and long-term health concerns, you suffer the mental misery from not having a way to settle the score.
This is why the reaction towards dangerous hits from the league is so crucial. Low-balling the seriousness of a hit is a crime nearly as bad as the hit itself.
I’m a Canadian hockey player who loves watching the rough stuff. But in an era where players have to answer less and less for their actions on the ice, we need to hold them more and more responsible from the offices off the ice. Especially in light of the recent data the NFL has been digging up about the seriously harmful long term effects of concussions.
The only way to get players to exercise more caution is to keep dropping suspensions that get players to snap awake like we dumped cold water on them. They’ll bitch, they’ll complain ….and they’ll stop finishing “questionable” plays.
Too little, too late for David Booth, but don’t worry. He’ll get ‘em on the scoreboard, where it hurts the most.
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Authors note: As you probably know, David Booth did try to fight Mike Richards. After seeing how it went down, I was glad it happened. Nobody got hurt, Richards gave Booth his fair shot, and it was over. That said, other than gaining respect in the hockey world, nothing changed in the big picture. Booth missed half a season while Richards didn’t miss a shift, the Panthers are still just out of playoffs, and Booth missed the Olympics while Richards has a gold medal. And, Richards team will most likely make playoffs. Some of you may not have thought that hit was bad, but I did, so I’m just using it as an example to illustrate a point. This article isn’t just about those two.
A Little Insight Into “Show Dough”
Occassionally, I’m going to do a little feature called call-up madness, explained, where I’ll answer any questions you have (email me) about what goes on behind the scenes of an NHL farm system. Today, I’ll talk about something I never personally got to experience, but still know how it works from being around it. You know, the part of playing professionally where you get rich: the NHL call-up, and how it affects your bankroll.
“Show Dough” is the term used to describe making NHL money by everyone not making it, AKA players in the AHL/ECHL and beneath. The term is best served slathered in jealousy and bitterness.
You’ve heard the all-too-true stories: guy signs a big deal and has a Cadillac Escalade by the end of the week, cause, y’know, how else are people gonna know he makes show dough if he keeps his old car? (See how nicely the bitterness sets off the phrase?)
One of the fun parts about playing professional hockey below the Escalade pay-grade is that you get used to the fact that you could be rich or broke with a call-up or send down on any given day. You have to, or you’d go crazy trying to Gilloly your teammates (that reference too dated yet?), so you sort of get numb to the whole thing.
What this means is, sometimes the mook who accidentally drinks his own chew spit, has no front teeth and made out with that chick-at-the-bar-that-turned-out-to-be-a-dude will just suddenly get “rich” when the phone rings one day. It’s really weird to see who changes (and how) with the show dough earned from a call-up.
When guys permanently make it, they tend to quickly adjust to the next tax bracket, so they don’t really appreciate it like the guys who only get to go up for a couple days – because that couple days of show dough sounds glorious.
To over-simplify, league minimum is somewhere around (or maybe a bit above now) $450,000.00 a year, so getting called up for ONE SINGLE DAY is pro-rated to $3,000.00 in your bank acount, $2,000.00ish after taxes. That means a week in the bigs equals $21k, $14 after tax.
These call ups are for real.
For a guy making $50,000 a year, a very common AHL amount, a few day call up is a nice kick in the pants. And for guys who have an NHL deal that make more than the minimum when they go up, it starts getting crazy. Upon getting sent back to Bridgeport with the rest of us shlubs, Jeff Tambellini told me that his call-up (around three weeks or so) had earned him more than he made over the six/seven months of the entire AHL season.
So often, you’ll see a guy who gets called up to an NHL team for a few games get sent down for the two days between games, and fans go “well what the hell was that all about?” — and the answer is pretty obvious. If a guy is making $300 a day in AHL, they stand to save $2,700 for every day they don’t have to have the kid practice, travel, or rest on an NHL roster (also why it’s nice to have your affiliate team close). Clearly, not the best thing for the kids ability to succeed, but hey, them’s the breaks - you can take the days you get or don’t, bud.
Just thought I’d fill-in those of you who didn’t know how call-ups got paid, because hey, I’m here to help.
Next week in call-up madness, explained: coaches that dress extra guys for warm-up, then tap one or two of them on the shoulder to tell them they aren’t playing, just before the game…. and why they should be ice-picked in the face for doing it.
{Note: at Islander camp, we got $100 a day for meal money, in an envelope just stuffed with hundreds for the week ….and they provided two meals a day, including an omlette station with our buffet breakfast. Guys under contract got $1500 for the week for “meals”, somehow. ECHL “per diem” as they eloquently call meal money (which you only get on the road, of course), is up to $34 a day.}
Buy and Sell: Some NHL Teams As Stocks
Snap back to reality, and just like that, the multicolored rings, skin-tight lycra and Giant Inflatable Beavers are a thing of the past. Last night, the puck dropped on Colorado – Detroit, and some very important points changed hands.
Before last nights NHL game, I was seriously contemplating putting a chunk of money down on Detroit, but simply don’t have a large chunk of it, which makes putting it somewhere kinda difficult.
I once heard that the NHL, gambling-wise, is the most predictable of the major sports. That is to say that, for the most part, the good teams are usually the good teams, and Columbus will flouder in perpetuity. I almost made that bet, because there’s still some inevitable leveling that needs to happen for the NHL season to get back to normal, and two teams played last night that moved in the directions they’re probably going in the second half.
And that’s no knock on Colorado – I believe in them a lot more than a few of the other surprise teams – it’s a testament to Detroit’s being-Detroit-ness, and having too much team to miss the playoffs. Combine that with the now-healthy/running-out-of-time factor, and picking against the Wings (who have a rested goalie) down the stretch is madness.
Here’s five teams (as stocks), and I’ll letcha know what to do with your money!
Detroit:
As I just mentioned, they’re decent. Pavel Datsyuk, Henrik Zetterberg, Johan Fransen, Tomas Holmstrom, Brian Rafalski, Nicklas Lidstrom, Nick Kronwall and the discovery of Jimmy Howard are the oh-so obvious reasons why (oh, and that Babcock guy). They haven’t been healthy, and haven’t had a chance to be “them” yet. BUY! BUY!
Phoenix
I wrote an article at the start of the year for the Arizona Republic trying to defend the fans lack of attendance here. My defense for them was, the team has sucked, sucks and will suck (you can teach English as a second language using that sentence, PS). It turns out that that wasn’t a very smart angle to take upon moving to Phoenix, as it’s made getting credentialed in the press box a skosh harder, only made worse by the fact that I was horribly, horribly wrong.
So to take the angle I’m about to take is not something I want to do. It’s just…. look, Coyotes fans: Your roster has to catch up to you eventually, but that’s not a good argument for you because you love your roster. Try this on: your d-corps is playing over their heads out of this world (leading the NHL in goals by d-men, really?). They’ve done great up ’til now. But Anaheim is about to get a bunch better. Detroit is too. So is St. Louis. Then you’ve got San Jose, Chicago and the rest of the conference to contend with.
The problem? 11 of your last 15 games are on the road (I want to say nine in a row at one point). I’m not sure how far I expect the fall, but it’s definitely out of home ice advantage. So sorry, sell. (NOT LITERALLY, BALSILLIE, PUT YOUR WALLET DOWN!).
Anaheim
As Hiller showed with the Swiss in the Olympics, he’s the real deal. Anaheim did a great thing in committing to him. What they haven’t done great this year, is win. I’m sure last year the system of finish eighth then reveal your true colours isn’t exactly the game plan, so I think we’ll see them revealved a little sooner this year. San Jose is praying I’m wrong – they see the potential 7/8 seeds as Detroit/Anaheim and are already packing for an early summer. Buy yourself a little bitta Duckstock.
St. Louis
Since Davis Payne’s arrival, St.Louis has been 11 – 8 – 3, not exactly setting the world on fire. But any team that’s leaning on a foundation of David Backes, TJ Oshie, Eric Johnson and an under-achieving goalie can get itself righted. They’re young guys, for sure, but they’re gaining experience and confidence as they go, so buy, BUY, BUY!
Buffalo
Down the stretch, I’m less trusting of the teams that have blown expectations out of the water, because there’s a reason people didn’t pick them to finish that high in the first place (looking at their roster, how can they be this good?). People knew Ryan Miller was good, but “world’s best” good? They may falter because they use this guy for not just a crutch, but a walker with tennis balls on the front to slide around on. (Would you rather finish fourth with a burned-out Miller, or sixth/seventh with a rested one? They should let him chill down the stretch a bit). Miller has, in the past, started much better than he’s finished, because he’s a slight guy who gets overplayed and worn down. Look for reality to set in a bit for the Sabres, sell!
Worth Mentioning:
I think the Kovalchuk trade was huge for the Devils – I’d be picking them to drop without that move. But there’s another reason why it’s tough to pick them to drop: The bottom half of the Eastern Conference is horrible. Just horrible. Atlanta, Florida, Carolina…. there’s just too many free wins for the boys at the top to pick teams like NJ to drop.
I’d mention the Isles as a team headed south if there hadn’t already set up permanent residence there (Hey, Ricky’s hurt!) ….2-8 in their last ten (horrible prediction – the Isles finish in the bottom five, get crazy lucky and win the draft lottery, then a few months later trade some sparklingly talented kid for draft picks cause they don’t actually want to have to pay too many good players).
As for penny-stock moves, I think you’ll see Tampa Bay and Toronto finish the season stronger than the first two-thirds.
So there ya have it! Where am I a horrible idiot (Jim Cramer from Mad Money), and where am I an awesome genius (Justin Bourne from Bourne’s Blog)?
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Tomorrow I’ll be live blogging trade deadline day with the team at Hockey Primetime.com (here, on my blog), from like 9:30 a.m. (EST) til forever. I’ll be on a few radio shows. I’ll be texting my friends that play for dirt. Come by and say hi!
“Phaneuf” Sounds Onomatopoeic
Really, the title has nothing to do with anything. Just an observation, reallly. That’s the sound you make when you get hit by him, maybe. “Ph-neuf!”
Because today is gonna be sooo fun, lets start with huge news from the hockey world:
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So yeah, good morning!
The Toronto Maple Leafs are the best team ever of all-time and they’re gonna win the Cup, right? Big time.
I see no need for any further review.
Okay, just a little: I thought it was awesome that Phaneuf fought in his first period. If you’re Dion, you know it’s all eyez on you in that first period, so what better way to show you’re committed to being a Leaf than to have a go with Colin White? Every time I ever fought it took a period-plus of self-convincing that I needed to do it (with the odd sticking-up-for-a-teammate skirmish, of course). Phaneuf clearly needed less time. He just seems like a Maple Leaf.
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Dion has gone from the Western Conference to the East, and I found myself thinking about how cool that would be. Playing in new cities, cities like New York, Philadelphia, Boston, all those old-school east coast cities (Raleigh-Durham!).
Which leads to the question: which would be the better conference to play in? They both have their warm cities (Phoenix & San Jose vs. Tampa Bay & “Sunrise” (Panthers), they both have their Canadian cities (Toronto, Ottawa & Montreal vs. Vancouver, Calgary & Edmonton), and they both win their share of Cups. What’s your vote?
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You know what always surprises me? How different players hold their stick with their top hand. It’s something you just assume everyone does the same, but they totally don’t. And, it makes a huge difference in the things you can do with a stick and puck.
I assume most new players just grab the stick and go, and don’t give it another thought, which is how you should decide what you like. But a good rule of thumb is, if you’re “choking up” on the stick with your top hand, you probably aren’t a great player. Sorry.
Some guys jam the butt-end of their stick into their palm (I’m not even gonna try to make that sound more appropriate, you’re an adult. Stop it), like, completely perpendicular to it. I’m somewhere in the middle. My palm wraps around the very top like a claw, but the rest of my fingers wrap around pretty normal. You’ll find the real handsy guys have their palm and stick in that 90 degree-angle-claw hold (90 degrees is an exaggeration, they obviously have to have some fingers wrapped around, but the butt-end will be jammed into the palm), while guys with hard shots and simpler games just grab the damn thing like they’re holding on to a railing, and fire when ready. Those guys (d-men, usually) have no idea what I’m talking about right now.
I’m guessing how you hold the top of your stick hasn’t crossed your mind all that often? I probably just did the classic golf jinx to like, 400 people. “Do you inhale or exhale when you swing?”
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Happy Humpday folks. I hope the Lost premier was as good as EVERY PERSON ON FACEBOOK EVER hoped it was.
Western Conference Playoff Spots
The battle for playoff spots in the West is always a little more intriguing when some unexpected teams blow up and have good seasons, and this is one of those years. Phoenix, Nashville and LA are all better than I expected, and I think better than the rest of the West had hoped.
So without really any ado, here’s how I see the bubble teams finishing up:
4th, Vancouver Canucks, 52 games played, 66 points
The only reason the Canucks get a blurb in the “bubble teams” section at all is their upcoming road trip. They set an NHL record by being gone for something like six weeks, and playing 14 straight road games (Olympic preparation in Vancouver). They’re 22-7-1 at home, but below .500 at 10-11-1 on the road this year. If they survive the trip at .500, they’ll be in great shape.
{Only Washington, Pittsburgh and San Jose have scored more goals than the Canucks this year, and only New Jersey, Buffalo and Chicago have given up less. Not bad, VanCity. Not bad.}
5th, Phoenix Coyotes, 52 games played, 63 points
The ‘Yotes have played the majority of their games to date at home in the friendly confines of Jobing.com Arena (29), where they’re a dominant 19-8-2. On the road, the Coyotes are an even 10-10-3 (23 games), sort of how your record is supposed to look. With a third of the season left to play, they’re in position to push for a quality playoff spot.
Have you noticed a trend in the teams that are “overachieving”? The Coyotes, Sabres, and Avalanche all have similar team builds, to some extent. They’re fast over big, mostly young over mostly old, they’ve got great goaltending and most importantly, their top six forwards are almost all interchangeable as ”first line” guys. Instead of the NBA method – pay one player to be your star and build around him – they all seem to be deeper teams without “that guy” to watch out for (the top two scorers from the teams I just listed are Tim Connolly and Paul Stastny, both below a point a game at 48 points in 51 games).
The Coyotes are going to make playoffs this year, but to have any hope of moving beyond a quick round one exit, they need to finish in 5th or 6th – 7th or 8th (versus San Jose or Chicago) would be hopeless.
6th, Los Angeles Kings, 51 games played, 61 points
The Kings seem fragile, don’t they? Points are always easier to come by before Christmas, just like wins. When Anze Kopitar has Ryan Smyth to help him out, he’s useful, but his production has seriously slowed down. He just doesn’t seem like a guy who can get it done when his opponents key on him, they way the real elite stars can. That says to me he’s not ready to be “the guy” on a team that needs one. They’re good enough to win even with him struggling, so they’ll hang on to playoffs, but you certainly get the impression they aren’t headed the right direction.
7th, Nashville Predators, 51 games played, 61 points
I almost included the Preds in the group of “overachieving teams with the same build” from the Coyotes paragraph, but in the end, I didn’t think their Dan Ellis or Pekka Rinne deserved to be in the same class as Bryzgalov, Miller and Anderson. Nashville could be the best team to miss playoffs this year… and I see it happening.
8th, Detroit Red Wings, 51 games played, 58 points
The depressing part for the teams on the wrong side of the playoff cutoff line looking in right now is, you’re not trying to catch Detroit’s 58 points, you’re looking at Nashvilles 61. Detroit has played with half a team all year. They’re the best coached team in the league, with some of the best names in the entire NHL in their dressing room (even with all they lost from last year). The Canucks and Avalanche can start stressing now about which one of them is going to get unfortunately stuck in a (4) vs. (5) battle with Detroit.
9th, Calgary Flames, 52 games played, 58 points
What the hell happened to the Flames? I feel like I fell asleep for an hour and they dropped a half-dozen spots. Hmm. 1-8-1 in their last ten, with six straight losses. By all logic, the Flames should be okay: great goaltender, maybe the best defensive trio in the league, and a couple of guys up front who can score. For me, the major difference between their offensive firepower and the teams “overacheiving” this year, is that their goal scorers aren’t young and energetic. They don’t have that legs churning, relentless effort type threat right now – they’re scary in the “HolyCrapDon’tLetHimShootFromThereAWww. They scored.” type of way.
10th, Anaheim Ducks, 52 games played, 55 points
This is the difference between the Eastern and Western conference. The 10th and 11th place teams in the West are still really good (so are the Isles, but um, I just…. crap). The problem is, they can’t all make playoffs, and Anaheim didn’t get off to a great start. I don’t think they’re good enough to have a huge second half and make up for it.
11th, Dallas Stars, 52 games played, 55 points
I was waiting for them to end up in this spot in the conference, and here they are. Dallas is a good team, but when teams like Phoenix and LA are good too, it toughens up their usually soft division.
12th, Minnesota Wild, 52 games played, 54 points
I don’t know a lot about Minnesota this year, and that’s not a good sign. I do know when you’ve pinned a chunk of your offensive hopes on Chuck Kobasew and Andrew Ebbett, you’re in a whole heap of trouble (both are good enough players, but very shutdownable. Yep, I can make up words on my blog.) I guess their go-to guy is Havlat, I’m just not sure what else they’ve got. I’m sure my oddly heavy Wild readership can fill me in on them, but from what I can tell, they don’t have a hockey teams chance in Phoenix snowballs chance in an oven.
13th, St. Louis Blues, 52 games played, 54 points
I’m sticking to my guns on the Blues, especially with the addition of Davis Payne. They’ve got good top six forwards, good goaltending, and hopefully enough D to get into contention during the last few weeks. I still think they’ll make a push.
Eastern Conference Playoff Spots
Bear with me, hockey fans… In my last blog, I made a couple football predictions – I said the Colts would beat the Jets 24 – 17 with a late pick thrown by Sanzchez: Colts beat the Jets 30 – 17 with a late pick thrown by Sanchez. I also said the Saints would win on a late field goal, 31 – 30: The Saints won on a late field goal, 31 – 28. Damn. I should make this a football blog.
Now that my back has been sufficiently patted, I’ll move on.
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Dennis Wideman, a member of my fantasy hockey team, was minus three when he got hit in the face with a puck last night. He celebrated by returning and moving to minus four. I’m celebrating by publicly chastising him on my blog. Dennis Wideman sucks.
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Spots 6 – 13 in the Eastern Conference standings are separated by three points right now (55 points to 52 points), with the Senators in 5th, ahead of the pack by five points (60). Unfortunately for Ottawa, they could be on the wrong side of the line come playoffs.
If we bring them into the mix, because lets face it, they are in the mix, that means there’s nine teams vying for four spots. Here’s the who’s out/who’s in predictions, according to my dumb self:
5th, Ottawa Senators, 53 games played, 60 points
As I just alluded to, I don’t like the Sens team this year. They’ve got one of the best lines in the NHL with Spezza and Alfredsson, but that’s really the only leg they’ve got to stand on. Mediocre goaltending, suspect D, and just not enough firepower to get it done (also, they have to play essentially shorthanded when Kovalev is on the ice notgivingafuck for a living). They’ll be in the battle for the eight spot in April.
6th, Philadelphia Flyers, 51 games played, 55 points
Didn’t I just write about them being a scary low seed? Apparently they made a push. Philly is definitely one of the teams who’ll stick, and with the return of Emery, I think they’re looking at the five seed, just high enough to “upset” a then-staggering Buffalo or New Jersey.
7th, New York Rangers, 52 games played, 55 points
I remember thinking the Rangers would finally be one of the leagues top teams this year, but with Torterella proving himself to be more of a yeller/motivator than a guy focused on strategy and keeping his team level, I’m not sure what to think. I can see them getting into playoffs as a seven seed, and, anytime you have a legitimate goaltender in playoffs, you’re going to stress out your opponent. Maybe they can pull it together by then.
8th, Montreal Canadiens, 53 games played, 55 points
I’m calling them “in”, but if I’m wrong anywhere, it’s here. I think we knew they’d be a team fighting for a playoff spot this year, so every night matters. That means they need to stay healthy to squeak in – either way, the Capitals are going to ROLL OVER them if they earn this spot.
9th, Boston Bruins, 51 games played, 54 points
The Bruins will make the playoffs, probably as a six seed, and why not: proven goaltending, some good d-men including shut-down defender and Norris winner Zdeno Chara, and enough pieces up front (when healthy) to put the puck in the net.
10th, New York Islanders, 52 games played, 54 points
My Isles need to fight tooth-and-nail to win every possible point on every possible night, cause it’s a long-shot. Coaching and goaltending are keeping them afloat right now, so two things have to happen down the stretch for them to have any hope (barring trading for Kovalchuk or someone else substantial): The d-corps will have to play way over their collective head (after Streit, their D are basically all 5th/6th d-men on most teams), and the young guns (Tavares, Okposo, Bailey, Moulson) need to find some way to keep/improve their pace as the point-getting gets tougher after Christmas…. It always does. Here’s to hoping!
11th, Florida Panthers, 52 games played, 53 points
Losing David Booth buried the Panthers this year. They’ve actually got a pretty squad over there – not many teams can afford to have a 30 goal guy miss the season (while banking six million of your teams money), especially not perennial strugglers like Florida. Their hopes hinge on him returning sooner than later.
12th, Atlanta Thrashers, 51 games played, 52 points
Only Carolina and Toronto give up more goals than the Thrashers, and they’re talking about trading the major cog in their offensive machine in Ilya Kovalchuk. They need Kari Lehtonen to be who he can be ASAP if they’re to have any hope. Which they don’t have much of.
13th, Tampa Bay Lightning, 51 games played, 52 points
Tampa’s a good team. I mentioned my “Tocchet is a bad coach” theory before, and after a little roster evaluation, I’m even more certain of this. Lecavalier, St. Louis, Ryan Malone, Stamkos, and Tanguay can all play, while they’ve got some good role players, average d-men and good goaltending. I see them battling for that 8th spot with Ottawa and Montreal come April.
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That’s all folks! Agree? Disagree? Let’s hear it!
Hockey, Holiday Thoughts
Major thanks to Ms. Conduct for yesterday’s great entry - always nice to change the pace up a little bit over here at Bourne’s Blog, and lord knows featuring Vesa Toskala does that.
I haven’t had the chance to blog about the Winter Classic yet myself, so sorry this is a little late… but wasn’t that amazing?
Dude, I cried like four times. Not even sure why. It was like watching The-Masters-style montages about pond hockey, all those people, outdoors, toques everywhere, just the whole damn thing… I dunno…. the game has just done so much for myself and my family. From my Dad’s living to my own, we all owe a great deal of what we have to this sport, and to see it honored the way the Winter Classic does just tugged at my heartstrings. I could cry again. Moving on.
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Just watching the NHL Network here, as I tend to do in the mornings - not sure who ”Scott Cullen” is, but he apparently does a power rankings list (like the rest of the hockey watching free world, including me). He has the Canadiens ranked 11th and the Penguins 12th, which is backed up by neither stats nor logic. I am continuously befuddled by analysts insistence on placing originality over common sense.
So lemme ask… You buying the Canadiens right now? Their goaltending has been great, but still, I can’t imagine another cusp-playoff squad I’d want my favourite team to go up against more than the Habs. I’d be way more scared to see Atlanta or Philly in that eight seed if I’m in the top spot.
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What are you supposed to say to people around January 1st, Happy New Year or Happy New Years?
The Seinfeldian discussion I had with my buddy established this – the holiday is “New Years Eve”. Thus, wishing someone “Happy New Years” (as is the most common form, I think) is wishing for them to have one good day. “Happy new year”, then, blankets the whole year, and doesn’t need the event capitalization. So, happy new year to you.
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Christmas lights: You can have other colors than the staples of red, green and white, but not on their own. You can’t go with just an all-purple strand on your house, can you? You can do every colour, mashed together, but the isolated non event-themed strand? What are you trying to achieve here??
Also, I have no words for people like this ——->
On a related note, go take your lights down. It’s over.
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That Santa, boy. He’s one special cat. Apparently, I made the ”nice” list this year, because check out the latest edition to the Bourne abode on the left.
Oh by golly have a holly jolly Christmas – this yearrrrr.
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Who thanks who on the way out of a restaurant?
Should they be thanking me for my business, or should I be thanking them for their service? There has to be some “your welcomes” at some point, I think. If it were a big, mutual happy experience we were both benefiting from, we’d dine out all the time. It’s expensive, so we don’t. Thus, I believe (as does my heavily re-tweeted friend Dave) that as a customer, we pay for the service we get in tip form, so the “thank you” is taking it too far. Cash or thanks, your call, restaurants. I will now commence “your welcoming” thank you’s.
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I’ve noticed that every time a team gives up a huge number of shots, people automatically heap praise on the goaltender.
If our back-up goalie went in at any level, he always did better for himself if he saw 50 shots over 20, no matter how many actually went in. We tend to act like giving up three on 20 is so much worse than four on 50, but I’ve gotta believe that’s not always the case. I think we all agree that sometimes it has to be harder to play the 20 shot game, and, giving up three is better than four everytime.
The tendency for beat writers and analysts is to forget the most important fact: context is needed for every evaluation of goaltender performance. Just because a goalie makes 46 saves doesn’t qualify it as a well played game. Just because a goalie gets over the coveted 90% save mark doesn’t mean he played well either. It comes down to “should he have stopped that shot”, each one as an isolated incident. On any given night, maybe the answer to all 50 shots taken is “yes”.
The ONLY thing that matters is that context. A guy can give up four goals on 16 shots, but if he faced eleven breakaways and a two-on-one, he’s the first star. Maybe he went post-to-post for six minutes of 5 on 3 penalty-kill time without seeing a shot, but still managed to discourage players from pulling the trigger. The point is this: quit lavishing goaltenders with praise for performances based on scrolling ticker stats like ”stopped 46 of 50″ without doing a little actual processing of the game played.
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Thats all for today! Hope your new year is off to a great start.
The Sedins, Free Skating at Fenway
When the Sedin brothers got drafted 2-3, it was a bit hokey.
As in, yes Mr. Burke, it would be neat if there was this pair of odd-looking Swedish brothers with crazy twin-sense that could dominate the league, but come on. Tons of brothers have played in the NHL, and nobody got to call “we’re a package” before. Lame.

Would you be more surprised to find out Tigers a cheater or they're robots? The Tiger thing, right?
A lot of Canucks fans, used to being dumped on by their team, figured they were too soft. They started calling them “The Sedin Sisters” and all that stuff. College kids were taking a shot every time one of them got knocked off the puck, and were needing their stomachs pumped by the third period.
Well, for those of you who hadn’t noticed yet, the investment has been seriously paying off.
Fans in Vanvouver definitely know by now, but is the rest of the league’s fan base aware? Aware that these guys are in the leagues top 20 players, and there’s probably only a couple player-pairs on other teams you’d rather have? They were scary good last night. Again. In the past, I’ve just said “scary” (read: appearance). But they’d make me damn nervous if I was a defenseman and they had solid possession. They certainly don’t need it long to score.
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I just read Deadspin’s article about free skating at Fenway before the Winter Classic.
What a neat thing that the people putting on the game have done for the fans (the article is about how scalpers got the free tickets first and are selling them for human babies + a Kings ransom).
I just wanted to mention something about the skate, and it isn’t meant to take away from the intent of the promoters letting people skate – it’s a really nice solution actually.
I’ve gotta believe they’re having people out there skating, because (not sure if this is common knowledge) new ice is awful.
Playing professional hockey means playing in a big buildings, which also tend to host concerts, basketball games, conventions and all that other jazz. For the most part, they’re able to just lay boards over the ice and make that the floor, but occasionally you’ll play somewhere that they just put the ice back in.

Pleasedon'tlettheFlyerswin, pleasedon'tlettheFlyerswin...
ITS HORRIBLE.
The ice comes up in big chunks, the puck slides like it does on a driveway, and it feels like the rink is uphill in every direction.
Only once it gets carved up, flooded, hacked apart, flooded, scarred and healed does it function like a normal sheet, which, I’m sure, is why the promoters have the rink in early and are “letting” locals have a free skate on it. Well played, good sirs.
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Congrats to Michael Vick for winning the Eagles award for commitment to the principles of sportsmanship and courageppppfffffffffffff!!! Haha, sorry, I almost kept it together there.
He really won that award though.
Commitment to sportsmanship and courage, or to not breaking parole and paying off his debts? Yep, kids, there goes a shining example of how to do it right.
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Here are some of my thoughts on shot blockers. Oh, and check back tomorrow for an extra special Christmas edition! Santa is guest blogging! Or Jesus might – still waiting to hear back from his PR guy.
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Thats all for today folks. Happy holiday shopping. I’m gonna go buy my fiance a knife set, because it’s the easiest present you can wield to make the line shuffle left… OR ELSE.
Videos and Conversation Starters
WAKE UP! Let’s get today goin’ with three must-see videos:
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You only need the first 30 seconds or so of this next one. A “fake robbery” prank gone wrong… I love how shady the guy is after, like “nothing to see here…”:
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Have you seen “Jersey Shore” yet? God I hope not. Unfortunately, some of us live with east coast girls who think reality TV is hilarious, and I’ll admit, this one is tough to turn away from for all the wrong reasons. For my Canadian friends, here’s a sneak peek at the high-quality television MTV is running these days (by the way, a million thanks to the news anchors for their insightful commentary on the show.)
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(*high-pitched* WHAT GUY DOES THAT??)
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Thinking: "I haven't used this thing in years, since I discovered hockey."
I understand how some things are tough for countries to change, like for the US, it would be expensive to switch to the reasonable system of measurement, metric. What I don’t get, is why it would be a huge, raging difficulty for both Canada and the US to simply change our national sports to what our countries national sports actually are.
Really, Canada? Lacrosse? At least Americans can debate over a couple stupid loopholes, like the word “pasttime”. What’s our excuse for ignoring the obvious? And not to sound like Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler, but REALLY, USA? Baseball? Can you be proud of yourselves being represented by A NON-CONTACT sport? That doesn’t seem very American to me. What gets better ratings, the Superbowl or MLB playoff “action”?

The toque can't overcome sabotage, bastard.
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Jose Theodore spent two months sabotaging my fantasy hockey team from the inside, like a double agent. After the discovery of his bad intentions and his subsequent release, he went back to his true owner, whoever it is I’m playing this week (I believe that’s you, AiH).
Theodore nearly put up a shutout for my opponent (head-to-head league) in a 6-1 win with a huge save percentage. I wanted to like you, Jose, I really did. In the prime of your career, you wore a toque on your helmet for an outdoor game. And now, all you have are reservations for one at Justin Bourne’s Sports Hate Bar and Grill.
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Isn’t having “divisions” in sports just a generally horrible idea? In all seriousness, why do we need them, just to lower travel expenses? What would be so bad about just having two conferences and the top teams making it?

Yeah that seems fair.
It just makes no sense to me that you can get the three seed in playoffs when you don’t have the third best record in your conference. It also make no sense to me that good teams like the Toronto Blue Jays routinely have to take the no-jock crotch-kick of being in the same division with the Yankees and Red Sox, while teams like the Washington Capitals get 20-some night-off-free-W’s a year by being good enough to coast past Carolina, Florida, Tampa Bay or Atlanta once every few games.
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Happy humpday. Time to start holiday shopping?
Teams, Trophies and Tenders
Let me plug you into my ever-so-nimble Tuesday brain.
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Don't make me watch Kobasew! nooooOOO
1) I went to the Coyotes game last night, versus the Wild. I Clockwork Oranged my eyeballs open as best as possible, but really, a 2-0 Monday night game against a piss-poor Wild team was a battle to endure. Buuut, the Coyotes continue to look really sound defensively (Bryzgalov is ridiculous), so I’ll give my hard-done-by Coyote readership this – your boys will be looking at a tight “every point matters” six through 10 seed battle heading into the playoff push.
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2) It’s time to change the Hart Trophy from “Most Valuable Player” to “Best Year”. Voting for “Most Valuable” misses the point, and clouds what most of us really want to judge.
Most people are just debating who had the best season anyway – but there’s always a few people following the technicalities of the award title, which leaves people arguing about different things… which sucks crappy suckballs. It ends up being a circular argument “yes, but without the waterboy, the guys would die of thirst, thus his value is…” shut up. I wonder if the NHL admits that the guy who had the best season won’t always win the award?
Also, it punishes players on good teams. Maybe Joe Thornton scores 120 points this year, but the Sharks would still be a good squad without him, because they’re so deep. Same with Chicago – are all their players ineligible? Without Tavares, the Isles are probably teasing the basement again. Maybe Matt Moulson doesn’t get a few big goals early that develop huge confidence. Maybe John Tavares has the most value to his team. But nobody’s giving him the Hart, are they?
Let’s just call it the “Best Year” award, and judge the best few offensive players against the best defensive and goaltenders, and give it to that guy. Congrats. You had the best year.
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With greatness, you too can achieve living in Michigan and Buffalo
3) There seems to be an inordinate amount of goaltender parity in the league these days. You gotta believe, with only 60 NHL jobs available, NHL scouts don’t have to try too hard to find quality goaltending. Seems like every team has at least a “pretty good” goalie. I mean, really, teams could just rummage through another teams trash to dig up a viable tender at this point.
This is why having one of the few real top-end elite guys, like Ryan Miller, makes such a huge difference. What’s the Sabres record this year with Chris Osgood in net? (Sorry to pick on Chris, he’s a great guy, and had a great career. But c’mon. He’s in the home stretch now.)
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4) There’s a captainly duty that’s both hilarious and stressful. I talked to a guy playing pro somewhere yesterday, and he had to go to deal with it.

"Who's calling??" "COACH?"
Lets say the boys have a day off on Sunday, and played at home that Saturday night. The guys are going out after the game. You’re the captain, and thus, you’re expected to communicate well with coach. You have three missed calls from coach on Sunday morning, you’re just waking up, and it’s 11 a.m. You’re a bit foggy. (Coach doesn’t call to “chat”, FYI.). Someone is in trouble.
This is the captains job – you need to put out the fire (and make sure you’re not in it) before the truth gets back to coach, so it can be dealt with by the guys, and not made into a “lock the door” team-meeting crisis. Clearly, something has happened. Somebody did some dirt. Did the bar kick a bunch of teammates out? Is it something serious, like someone got a DUI? Or is it something funny, like guys broke into the arena and “wrote their names” in the crease?
The hidden captain’s job: Damage control (especially in college).
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5) Some like, 19 year old dude at NYPD Pizza here in Phoenix, brought my fiance (27) her slice, put it down, and proceeded to give her a real fatherly ”there ya go sweetheart”… then walks away.
“Sweetheart” is reserved for a) A Grandfather to his grand-daughter b) Father to daughter c) A couple in love or D) Trying to get punched by people who find you condescending. He deserved a D+. What is this, the ’50′s? Slap her on the ass and give her a wink at least, pops. Jeesh.
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That’s all for Tuesday kiddo’s. Closer to my birthday (and the huge donation you’ll be giving to the blog on it). Closer to Christmas. And most importantly, closer to my birthday. …Did I mention that already?
Sugar Cookies Suck. And Other Stuff.
Ahh, I’m back and feeling refreshed today. Lets dive in.
My “rec hockey tip of the week” is for defenceman, on stick position.
When a guy is coming down on you one-on-one (or two-on-two, whatever), you aren’t being sneaky by keeping your stick out to the side for the big swing check. I’m aware you have a stick, I haven’t forgotten from the previous thousand games I’ve played, like a puppy re-biting on the fake-thrown tennis ball. Hiding it isn’t helping your cause.

With huge eyes and head.

Lil silver tiger.
In fact, 90% of the time, I’m looking for your stick to put the puck under. And when you swing it, I’m gonna skate to the side you’re swinging from everytime, slide the puck close to your feet so said stick misses badly, and cross you over. The stick-swing weight-shift f**ks you. Keep it in front of you, “on” the puck.
{kitten just walked up my legs, and stuck his stupid round head over the screen, like a whack-a-mole. He’s a healthy happy boy, judging by the purrs/terrorism}.
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Is Hannah Storm hot or not? I’m confused.
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Hey, fellow Canadians. Inconsisent but talented defenseman Tomas Kaberle just passed Tim freaking Horton on the all-time assist-list for Toronto Maple Leafs. Nothing warms your heart like that I bet. Save for the occassional double-double. Those things are like crack.
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Being 100% honest, my blog is less fun to write now than when I started it in January/Febuary of this year, minus the fact that I can open my mouth to consume sustinence now (see: the tale of Bourne’s busted face). Big perk. Reason being is that now I make an effort to keep it about hockey, which occassionally doesn’t hold my interest. It was more of a poorly-written review of documentaries and stand-up comedy in it’s inception, my two favourite things to watch (or Seinfeldian “what’s the deal with’s”).
Point is, I have a running argument with a friend where I explain that sugar cookies are at the bottom of the cookie totem pole, and he’s in denial (my mom makes mmm, ballpark, 90 varieties of Christmas cookies/squares, general deliciousnesses, and he picks the sugar cookies off the chocolate-laden tray). Which brings me to a long-time-due re-running of this Gary Gulman bit on sugar cookies that I ran allll the way back then:
[frustratedly still searching for clip I know is somewhere on the internet]
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The ice cream on the back of the lid rules.
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So, after watching Rick Nash fall post-shootout attempt (again), it’s safe to say that, as a goalie, he’s the last person you want to see coming down on a breakaway, right? Three reasons -- A) He can score B) He’s huge, and very well might fall/run you over C) He might do them simultaneously.
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Third Video: Shootout where he destroys tender and net, scores (still looking for that too)
Also on Nash: If you do a Youtube search of his shootout goals, they’re identical. I don’t know why goalies don’t know this yet. Everytime he almost falls, it’s because he’s doing something different. We have the internet now. Goalies need to Nash is going forehand to the blocker side. Tambellini is going high glove. EVERY TIME. Research, people!
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And last, a little bit of disappointing news.

Dan Friedell
This summer, I got a call from a guy named Dan Friedell. Dan was the online hockey editor for USA Today, and at the urgings of a mutual friend, had read a little of my hockey writing.
Dan called me out of the blue one day, thinking we might be able to help each other out. I agreed to write a hockey “blog” for them (aka the best I could possibly write a column ever), they get free hockey content, and in turn, I got the hope that if the stories were good, and people liked them, he would push to have me on as staff for the 09-10 season.
Well, the blogumns went well, and true to his word, Dan hired me to write a bi-weekly column. I was ecstatic.
Dan got laid off yesterday (hopefully not for hiring me), as a result of the newspaper industry’s continued need to hack costs (and in turn, often quality) in an attempt to keep up with us “new media” folk and all our free content. Because nothing say “news” like “Is Hannah Storm hot?”
So anyways, thanks Dan. I really appreciate you giving me the opportunity to do what I do on a larger scale, and I’ll do my best to make that column something people look forward to reading, to show you’re a guy who makes good decisions. My most recent, on old school coaches, came out yesterday.
Kittens and Sucker Punches
(Quick thought on this blog title – is “Sucker-Punching Kittens” the best band name ever, or is it just me that thinks that? Just me? Crap.)
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Ahhh, another beautiful day in the sports world.
A badass MNF game, a good slate of hockey, and the confirmation that yes… this week Bri and I get our first pet, a Scottish Fold/American Shorthair cat. And, like a pregnant couple noticing everyone else who’s pregnant, we’re noticing all things cats. For example, this lolcat is, um, noteworthy. For being awesome:
Here’s the little bastard we’re picking up Wednesday:

Tyson (face tat)? Darius (street Bri and I grew up on)? Whaddya think for a name?
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A friend of mine is playing over in Norway, and sent me this hilarious clip of himself I had to share - it’s basically a three-second flipbook, but on the internet. It came with the caption “These Norwegians think they can run their mouths and nothing will happen”. Cue the sucker punch. Yeah. Those Norwegians, man…
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Sooo, I just learned this yesterday, which basically explains: 2010 Olympic hockey? Not gonna be played on “Olympic” ice. Seems kinda counterintuitive, doesn’t it?
They didn’t want to take out seating, which makes sense. As most of you know, an NHL rink is 200 x 85. An olympic sheet is more like 200 x 100 (actually, it’s 60 meters by 30, making it 200 x 98.5), giving the skaters more room, but making the game less physical. Ah. Ohhhh…. less physical. Did I just stumble onto another major reason? Smaller sheet, more physical game, better for the Canadians? Ignore this segment.
GO CANADA!!!
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Recently I linked to the Shane Doan article where he explained that “if we win, fans will come”, because I like to pat myself on the back. It was my “I sorta made that point too!” moment.
Well, here I go again.
Not sure if you read my last column for USA Today – basically it explained, from my point of view, that the game is less safe because of things like the salary cap and instigator penalties.
And, here’s the link to the article I wrote for The Hockey News on head shots. And so, for the Bourne-on-Bourne back-pat, here’s New York Rangers coach John Tortorella a few days back- explaining we need to do something about head shots and the instigator penalty. Not like it’s breaking news, but hey, indulge me.
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Those of you who follow me on twitter already read these, but they’re too good not to share with the blog crew. The best TextFromLastNight ever came a few days ago: “I guess I finally out-drove Tiger Woods this morning…”
Followed by the tremendous tweet: “@nealbrennan Tiger Woods: half black/half Asian. Beef with wife – black. Can’t control car – Asian.
Ohhh, the joke deposit these comedians found to mine…
And For His Next Act, Dorsett Slips On A Banana Peel
And now, your bi-daily violent hit review -- the hit-from-behind on Columbus player Derek Dorsett, courtesy James Neal.
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First, thanks to Bob Mckenzie for the review of “I think there’s a chance there could be a suspension here”. Let’s continue discussing while we scour the ice for the rest of Dorsett’s frontal lobe.
Second, WEAR A FUCKING VISOR, Derek.
Third, okay, the hit is horrible. Dorsett is really really hurt. We need to stop this stuff. ….But that was funny, right? I mean, wasn’t it exactly how a vaudeville actor would have played “getting knocked unconscious?” Or like, in a pre-teeny-after-school-special type show? Right over backwards, arms out wide? Okay, okay, you’re right, it was brutal. ….Ohscrewyou, that was funny.
*****
Pre-season this year, I predicted the St. Louis Blues to be a sneak-into-playoffs type team, then they got off to a real crap start. Then, I predicted the Coyotes to get off to a real crap start, and they came out looking like a sneak-into-playoffs type team (or Stanley Cup winner, depending on who you ask).

He shoots, he's old!
Though I’ve backed off on the Coyote bashing, I’ll take this chance to re-affirm my stance that the Blues are good. With their goaltending, and depth at forwards, their ship has to turn around eventually. And if not, I’ll start blaming totally arbitrary things like their schedule, or being stuck in a tough division with Nashville and Columbus.
I also predicted Chicago to win the Presidents trophy. I’m not far off on that one, but I may have overlooked the fact that the Capitals division -- Atlanta, Tampa Bay, Carolina and Florida is the most nauseatingly poor grouping of teams since the WNBA (ahhh, felt good to get another shot in. Been awhile).
*****
You can say what you like about last nights Toronto/Carolina game -- battle for the basement, two teams who can’t hold a lead, whatever… but for fans buying a ticket to a hockey game, that was epic.
Not many fans out there appreciate the nuances of a fine goaltending duel - but they all love what they saw out there last night. Props to those who stayed to watch the last 30 seconds after the ‘Canes did their best to puke the game away in the last minute. No, no… not props. Big ups. I’m switching to using “big ups” more. Big ups to ‘Canes fans.
*****

Stan, the very very Jewish man.
Everyone who had the Devils leading their division (vs. Philly, Pitt, the Rangers and… my Isles) raise their hand. Liars. Put your hand down.
On the topic of the Devils, I put in a call to my buddy Stan Fischler yesterday -- “The Maven” as he’s affectionately known, deserves at least a whole post, and I will get to that. For now, I want to do two things -- One, thank him for applying to get me NHL credentials (I’ll occassionally submit pieces on the Coyotes for his newsletter, in exchange), and two, plug his new book Who’s Better: Rangers, Devils, Islanders or the Flyers? (Hint: it’s not the Rangers)
It’s a full comparison of each team’s history, everything from goaltending to tough guys to best Cup-winning team. Oh, and I wrote the story of Dad’s end-to-end rush against the Rangers for Stan. So, you know… that was sorta cool.
*****
Have a great weekend folks. Oh, and watch this. I legitimately “lol’ed”:
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I'm a hockey player turned writer. After playing for Alaska Anchorage in the WCHA (NCAA), I carried on with an NHL tryout (New York Islanders in 2007) before spending a couple seasons in the AHL/ECHL (last year was 2008-09). My father, Bob Bourne, won four Stanley Cups with the Islanders in the '80's, as did my fiancee's dad, Clark Gillies. I'm now the web editor for theScore's hockey blog "Backhand Shelf."