New Puck Daddy: hey, your boy’s on the main Yahoo! sports page today apparently, wwwwwhut’s up. On coaches willingness to adapt, and why Tampa needs to throw a new look at Boston for a few periods in game three. (Puck Daddy – post up a little later than usual today)

*****

Yesterday, notoriously wise offensive threat Ben Eager played like a moron. (/Reads over post from two days ago, starts fresh).

In last night’s game, Ben Eager took some really un-wise penalties that cost his team, and didn’t represent himself very well in the process (especially the part where he talked smack to Luongo after he pulled his team within four, which is widely considered to be the worst lead in absolutely nothing).

Playing with a meathead teammate is tough, because you know them so well off the ice.  But often, they keep doing things that make you go “y’know, I just never associate Off-Ice You with whoever that guy is.”

Solid beard.

The tough part is, you can often feel it coming, like they just get a look in their eye or something, but you’re still not allowed to Minority Report them and give them shit.  Comments like “take it easy out there, don’t do anything stupid” don’t imply that you respect their level of intelligence or commitment to the team very much, so they get snappy.  As a guy who, 90% of the time was one of the more cool heads on the bench, I’ve been told to shut the truck up more than a few times.

And regardless of if something gets said in advance or not - and again, you can see it coming (hell, we can often see it coming from our homes watching TV) – your Dan Carcillo or Ben Eager or Micheal Haley or Whoever is going to act anyway.  It’s an incredible phenomenon that these guys are almost oblivious to their own very obvious anger.  They just get lost in the moment.

I don’t give those guys a lot of credit, as others do, for “pre-meditating” their madness – I don’t think Eager saw Bieksa fight Marleau and thus vowed to run a Sedin.  I think watching Marleau fight a guy who probably shouldn’t fight him made him angry, and he would’ve thrown that hit on whomever happened to be in his way, because he was upset.  Anger makes logic go bye-bye, and since physical play is part of his role, we end up with stuff like this:

 As many of the Canucks said (I think they probably talked about this after the game), they didn’t think the hit was suspension-worthy.  I doubt they say that in the regular season, but given that it’s playoffs?  They WANT that dude in the lineup. 

Sure, he’s scary to play – a man of that size that skates like that is an absolute force, but anytime you have a guy who’s willing to let the Sedins run a powerplay on his short-handed teammates repeatedly, you want him to stay in the lineup.

But anyway, enough about the guy - anyone think the Sharks are going to make this series interesting?

*****

Well, it appears the Habs are out to make me look like an asshole…. again.  If you remember last year (or saw the comment on yesterday’s post), last year I predicted the Habs to get beat by the Capitals in….three games.  Not even four, I was so sure the Caps would steamroll them.  And we all know how that turned out – the Habs made the Eastern Conference final.

I picked them again to get swept, and again, they come out and win.  Brutes.

Anyway, at least it’ll make for an interesting series (as long as they lose in the end so I can collect on my bet about them, y’know, losing in the first round).

As for the other gambly updates: Jordan Staal had an apple in game one, so that’s good.  Three bottom seeded teams won, which doesn’t scare me all that much.  And we’ll find out more tonight if the series I predicted to go long can get knotted up!

*****

I thought this was a great pic of one of the Gillies three Newfoundlands, the eldest, Hunter:

Hunty-hoo. Big boah.

Good lookin’ ol fella.

*****

So Joe Pavelski got it done for the San Jose Sharks last night, which is not out of the ordinary for him.  He was money in last year’s playoffs, and it reminded me of a little story from college.

My freshman year of college, we beat the Wisconsin Badgers in a best of three at the Kohl Center to go to the Final Five in St. Paul.  We were an eight-seed, and they were the three-seed.  My sophomore year, we met in playoffs again as the same seeds…..only they had Joe Pavelski now.

Great picture, no?

I can’t explain why, but we had them on the ropes again.  We lost game one after blowing a third period lead, but came out the next night and took it to them to knot the series up at three (BTW, we played this series in some other rink in Wisconsin that looked like Madison Square Garden on the inside, if Madison Square Garden was weird. Dane County something-or-other?).

Well, we actually got off to a good start, when one of our lower line guys scored a short-handed goal on a pure breakaway snipe.  By the third period, we were up 4-2. 

And then we got Pavelski’d, and never made it to overtime.

It wasn’t just that he took the game over (I’m pretty sure he had three points in the third period of their 5-4 win), it was the way he did it.  I have to describe his goal that either tied it or put them ahead (it all blends together now):

So, our d-men are doing a good job keeping him on the paint in our zone – he’s got solid possession in the corner, and somehow, through a poor switch or a good move, he ends up getting an opening to take the puck to the net.  He’s still behind the goal line though, so he could go in front or behind.

At one point, he looks like he’s going to go deeper behind the goal line and take the puck behind the net.  He’s a righty, coming from the right, so when the puck is on his forhand, it’s near the boards.

But as he’s skating towards the cage, he brings it way across to his backhand – maybe six inches above the goal line – and in a smooth stick-handle, goes backhand-crossbar-down with his skates still at least a foot behind the goal-line.  Nobody had a sniff what happened it was so slick.

It was our “well, we just don’t have talent like that on our team, good for you assholes” moment.

The guy is clutch, has been clutch, and will always be clutch.  Dude can flat-out play.

*****

TGIF.  Yessssssss….

New Puck Daddy: a look inside the pre-playoff series meetings teams have

*****

If you missed it, yesterday I wrote about the interesting stories I’ll be keeping an eye on from the five playoff series that started yesterday.  Today, I’ll be doing the same for the other three.  Without further ado….. MORE PLAYOFFS!

(2) Philadelphia Flyers vs. (7) Buffalo Sabres

Two things immediately spring to mind: the phrase “upset watch” and the Philadelphia Flyers goaltending.  If you’re as sick of hearing about it as I am mentioning it, blame Philly’s GM, not me.  It’s quite possible that the two things I just mentioned go hand-in-hand.

Sabres were solid down the stretch, Flyers, nahsomuch.

Let me be clear: I don’t think the Sabres will beat the Flyers.  Philly’s forwards are as deep – okay, deeper – than any other team in the NHL (Boston is in the conversation), and their defense is just too good, even with Pronger out.  Yes, they will have a tough time getting pucks behind Ryan Miller, but you may have noticed Buffalo is a seven-seed — as in, he’s been scored on before.

I’ll be watching to see if Bobrovsky can keep enough pucks out of the Flyers net to help the team avoid getting that upset seed planted in their head.  If he let’s a few shaky ones in during the series’ first contest or Buffalo wins game one…. things will be a lot more interesting.

Underlying story: What the shit happened to the Flyers down the stretch?  You want to peak at the right time, and they seemed like they were dragging their asses through a rut down the homestretch.  I’m curious to see if it was the fact that they didn’t have a meaningful game for like, two months, or if something has seriously gone awry with that team.  More reason to keep this series on upset alert.

*****

(2) San Jose Sharks vs. (7) Los Angeles Kings

You know what I’m curious about?  If there’s any plausible reason we can dig up to say LA could win more than one game.  The statement Dean Lombardi has made over the past couple years – trying to bring in a big name like Kovalchuk, Iginla, just anyone who could provide some offensive help – leads me to believe he has a pretty good idea of where they need help to win.

Their talent isn't too old to win.... yet.

Then Kopitar gets hurt, and they’re left with…. Dustin Penner.

This, for the Sharks, could be like going through one of those arrow things in Mario Cart that gives you a burst of speed heading into playoffs.  As Dave Lozo told us, you either win early in round one or you don’t win the Stanley Cup (“The last 32 teams to win their first-round series in seven games have failed to win the Stanley Cup.“).  They could polish off LA early, rest up, and make a push.

Will the Kings give their fans some breath of hope, somehow, some way?

Underlying story: For me, two little stories: one, the Sharks killed it in the second half of the NHL season, so my question is, could this team be way better than most people think?  They’re still pretty stacked.

And two, Antti Niemi.  He’s taken slow but steady steps towards being one of the NHL’s elite goaltenders.  Another solid playoff run would have him cemented there for years to come.  Without being flashy, might we be watching one of the NHL’s best emerge?

*****

(3) Boston Bruins vs. (6) Montreal Canadiens

I’m excited to see if the Canadiens have any push-back in them.  I know I’ve been very outspoken about this series, but it’s for a reason – I just can’t find a reason to believe the Habs could beat the Bruins, for one simple fucking reason: the Bruins have better players.  Phew – how’s that for in-depth analysis?

These teams? They no like each otha.

It’s not even close.  And the Bruins have the most intimidating team in the league to top it off, because their tough guys can play.  They don’t have to send a brainless thug out there to get justice, they inflict pain just with the natural way their players play, and that’s no fun in a seven game series. 

Milan Lucic and Nathan Horton combined for 206 PIMS (for context, Clark Gillies never got 100 PIMS in a season), and these two combined for 56 goals on top of that.  Cammalleri and Plecanec scored a combined 41(in 15 less games) and are more one-dimensional players.

The Habs have a couple more players with Cup experience, so basically, the story I’m most interested in (much like the San Jose/LA series) is if there’s any reason to believe the Habs have a shot.  Maybe it’s that experience (I think they have four guys with Cups versus the B’s two), but thus far, I can’t convince myself that they won’t be overwhelmed in four or five games.

Underlying story: The interesting names in this series.  Can Tim Thomas play like he did during the regular season in playoffs, or will it be Tuuka Time before it’s all said and done?  Will Tomas Kaberle have a shot at his first Cup?  How will he hold up under the pressure?  Can Carey Price stay in the good graces of Habs fans? 

There’s just a lot of fun NHL stars to track in this one.  Can’t wait to see what unfolds.

*****

Night one of the NHL playoffs was as fun as to be expected.  Four of my five series winner picks won (save for Tampa), so we’re off to a good start.  I’ll check in on my gambling status early next week.  Enjoy tonight!

The always entertaining (and inflammatory) Ryan Lambert of Puck Daddy is back, folks.  My apologies on the delay – he sent me this over a day ago.  Hope you enjoy!

Follow him on twitter.

*****

Shut Up, Ray Shero

-by Ryan Lambert

An actual thing an NHL general manager said about one of his own players:
 
“The suspension is warranted because that’s exactly the kind of hit we’re trying to get out of the game.”

I can be your Shero bayyyby. (Bourne on caption patrol)

 And with that, Ray Shero was showered with smiles and plaudits and flowers from all angles. What courage it took for Shero to come out and say that! About his own player! This really shows the Penguins care about the headshot issue!
 
What this all ignored, of course, was that Matt Cooke was his own player to begin with.
 
Boy, that’s troublesome, huh? The team that’s been so far out in front of all this reprehensible and irredeemable dirty play in the league this year just happens to have its most dangerous player on payroll for a sizeable chunk of money, and has been since 2008.
 
Since the start of that 2008-09 season, Cooke has received four suspensions from the league totaling as many as 25 games, and probably should have gotten more for the type of vicious knee-to-knee and flying elbow shots that have become his grisly trademark.
 
So to say that Shero is not being duplicitous when he praises the league for suspending Cooke is more than a little bit incorrect. We heard that Shero sat down and talked with Cooke over the summer, spelling out that the kind of play that resulted in, say, Marc Savard’s brain injury, is simply not acceptable.
 
And we heard that through backchannels. Never once did Shero come out and say that elbows like those on Savard or Artem Anisimov were unacceptable and didn’t belong in hockey in, I don’t know, some sort of press release.

I be he actually bites his *own* kids in the sandbox.

Let’s not pretend, however, that they didn’t sign Cooke to a three-year, $5.4 million extension knowing full well what they were getting. In that famous little “Matt Cooke cheapshotting history” video CBC put together last postseason, 10 of the 17 or 20 hits they highlighted came when he was wearing a Penguins jersey. Now, those were of varying brutality and he was suspended for two of them, but that’s at least an average of five borderline or outright dirty players per year that resulted in someone being hurt for at least a short while.
 
The team also stood by when at least seven more questionable plays (according to this) happened this year, offering either silent affirmation that this type of play is acceptable — by not benching him — or, in the case of that horrifying hit from behind on Fedor Tyutin, for which Cooke was suspended four games, outright supporting him and blaming the victim (right, Danny Bylsma?).
 
But now after this latest elbow, Shero chose to break his silence, when the tide of public and league sentiment safely turned against his guy, aided (only as a matter of coincidence, I’m sure) by team owner Mario Lemieux bitching out league officials over that Islanders game. And, if you watch the DiPietro/Cooke video in the above link, you’ll see that Cooke fueled some of that bad blood in no small way earlier in the year.
 
And now he puts out that statement, leans back smugly in his chair, and looks like some sort of hero to any idiot who opts to take everything at face value.
 
But really, he’s nothing more than the father who accepts no responsibility for his poorly-behaved child, getting scolded at a parent-teacher conference.
 
Matt Cooke is as much the toddler who bites kids in the sandbox as anything else. In fact, he won’t stop biting kids. Stealing their toys. Pulling their hair. And Shero sits there condoning it by letting the kid get time in the sandbox day after day, just waiting for the next kid to start wailing while Cooke stands there sheepishly with that detestable “What did I do?” face of his.

"Cooke for Avery, straight up."

 But now Shero’s been called into school, after Mario led the anti-bullying campaign, and he sits there saying, “I know it’s not acceptable and I’ve told him that but he just doesn’t listen!”
 
Now Matt’s got a couple weeks worth of detention to sit there and think about what he’s done, and daddy dearest totally agrees with it. But the kid’s not going to learn because in the end, Shero already promised to take him out for $3.6 million worth of ice cream over the next two years.

We’ve also heard the talk from Cooke, who’s saying all the right things about knowing he has to change how he plays, but we’ve also heard it before, so the only way we’ll know he’s changed is in practical application.
 
I guess the lesson we should take from this is that we have to judge people by their actions and not their words. Cooke can say he’s sorry but the next time he tries to take someone’s head off (and believe me, there will be a next time), what will that have meant? Shero and Lemieux can say they don’t condone his actions, but they’re still going to pay him a lot of money.
 
And don’t get me wrong. Cooke is a very effective hockey player when he’s playing hockey. He’s worth the $1.8 million a year in that regard. But to get that type of strong defensive play, you also have to put up with the cheapshot, injurious nonsense.
 
The Penguins had two years to figure it out. That Cooke has continued to play that way — and admittedly, he’s gotten appreciably worse this season — isn’t a light-dawns-on-Marblehead revelation to anyone in the league except, apparently, Ray Shero.
 
So Shero’s either one of two things: an idiot to have not recognized it before, or someone who is willing to tolerate the depths to which the league’s most dangerous dirty player will sink because goddamn is he ever good at killing penalties.
 
Neither one of those things is praiseworthy. And no self-congratulatory press release is going to change that.

*****

Matt Cooke – A history of cheapshots:

I’ve been on the receiving end of a fairly decent twitter-drubbing from Columbus Blue Jackets fans about a few Rick Nash tweets I made yesterday, especially about the comment that he’s “drowning” in Columbus.  Which was a little much, maybe. 

The intent was to praise Nash, not take pot-shots at CBJ, but I can fully understand why fans didn’t appreciate the barbs.  For what it’s worth Jackets fans, if you follow me with any regularity, you’re well aware I’m consistent in my criticisms - my own favourite team (the Islanders) has been far from sarcasm-exempt on this blog and twitter.

Great style.

That should probably make it hurt more, because it points to the fact that I’m usually without bias with those comments, meaning I wasn’t just taking pot shots without a point.

Let me explain myself:

I hate that Rick Nash plays for the Blue Jackets, because the majority of North America doesn’t care about the Blue Jackets.  Ohio is a great hockey state, and there seems to be plenty of proud, smart fans of the team.  But outside of that region, the national interest isn’t there.  It’s in Original Six teams, Washington, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia and so on.

Thus, when games are televised in primetime, or the Winter Classic teams are selected, Columbus is nowhere near to getting a second thought about being picked.  I know that hurts, and believe me, I can relate to that misery, but denying it is just silly fan bias thinking.  In turn, I never get (nobody ever gets, actually) to see Nash play unless they have the NHL package or they live in Ohio.

I do have the package, but again, I’m just not that interested in Columbus as a team, so it’s not worth watching the games all that often just to watch one player. (Unless Lebron is playing.  I’d tooootally tune in just to watch him. ….Oops, sorry Ohio ) 

Woo-hoo, n stuff.

Beyond that, I’m frustrated for him because he should be one of the top few names mentioned when someone talks about the best players in the game.  If he played for the Maple Leafs or the Red Wings, best believe that would be the case.  He’s just out of the national spotlight there.

It’s even more endearing that he’s so loyal about staying there, given that he’s aware of all the things I’ve written above.  And better still, you know he believes they can win a Cup there in Columbus the way Carolina did in 2006.

And maybe they can.

But in playing for a team that doesn’t spend to bring in supporting talent, for one that instead shrewdly thrifts together a pretty good squad year after year, it greatly minimizes his Cup-winning odds.  Yes, the odd team in history has gotten it done without spending a ton, but it’s a rarity.  The playoffs are a long, tough grind that requires secondary scoring, tremendous defense and great goaltending.  While possible, it’s tough (and rare) to acquire the whole package on a budget.

Just a big, strong dude.

What that means then, is that a player who can do so much and be so great will swim upstream against the current until he’s forced to do the inevitable Ray Bourque-to-Colorado thing, and it may not work out.  A guy who could have a massive effect on a Stanley Cup Final may never get the chance to live out a defining moment.

Like I said, more power to the guy for being willing to battle for that city, but as a fan of the game, I think I’m allowed to wish he were on a different team. 

And something else to remember: just because I want him to go to a different team doesn’t mean that’s happening, like I’m the GM or something.  A lot of the responses I got from Blue Jackets supporters were along the lines of “just let us keep him,” or panicky-sounding, frenzied keyboard mashing, like when you take a baby’s favourite stuffy away. 

@akrygier —  @jtbourne is the sarah palin of hockey writing, who cares what he thinks.

Uh…..fair enough, I guess?

The moral of the story is this: I’m sure Columbus fans wish, say…. I dunno, Shea Weber or some other stud in a small market like that were on the Penguins.  He’s a great talent you’d like to see in primetime more, you’d like to see in the Winter Classic, you’d like to see in the late rounds of playoffs on a fully-funded team trying to win Cups, as opposed to a team that squeaks into playoffs and makes a first round exit.

I score in pictures with white jerseys! (But only skate when I'm in blue)

It’s not gonna happen, of course, but from a fan’s standpoint, and the standpoint of the history of hockey, I feel like Nash is a diamond, locked in a safety deposit box for no one to see. 

But Ohio, it’s your safety deposit box, and you get to see him plenty over the course of the season.  So, enjoy him, root for him, and hopefully he can bring you that Carolina-esque Cup your fans deserve.  But don’t hate on me because I want to have a peek at the stone once in awhile too.

Oh, and *ahem* …..sorry for the term “drowning.”  ‘Twas a bit much.

Happy humpday, folks.

New Puck Daddy: on getting cute with the puck, featuring a goal by Mattias Tendenby, and a turnover by Ilya Kovalchuk

Oh, and from yesterday….

The Hockey News: me once again railing about “shoot from everywhere” being stupid - it actually relates nicely to today’s PD piece, in that it leads to a point - if guys need to shoot less and wait for better scoring chances in today’s NHL, then guys who are good at “getting cute” have more value.

*****

Okay, should I drop the Jiggs pictures on you now, or wait?  Let’s start with one, then some hockey, then a few more.  Lots to discuss today. 

I give you…. JIGGS!

All ur hartz are belong to meee

Dude is a maniac. Got his paw inexplicably stuck in chair thingy, wedged it in so good I had to pry it out.

*****

So, the St. Louis Blues acquired Kyle Wellwood from wherever the hell he was, and as is protocol, they had to run him through waivers first.  San Jose picked him up, and now St. Louis gets a kick in the nads, and the Sharks get a hockey player.

Really dude, a wood blade?

Whatever the reason is for teams to do this to STL, whether it’s to fortify their own rosters or keep St. Louis’ depleted, it’s stupid that it can happen.

First off, offer sheets are a taboo in the league, but this isn’t?  I realize the guy isn’t officially on the first team that claims him (as the offer sheeted player is), but how silly is it that the other teams can sit back and poach a player nobody wanted until they did?

The best idea we cooked up on twitter (we being friend of the blog, Kennedy aka @skennedy39) is that that the NHL should make the new team, in this case San Jose, at least have to pay, say, 5% more than St. Louis was going to (the minimum).  And then you offer St. Louis the chance to re-raise on that another 5%, so that the team who’s serious enough about wanting the player can still attain him, and the guy getting signed gets what he deserves.  If multiple people want you, you earn more money, that’s the supply and demand of sports.

When this shit happens, I can’t help but think of whoever the call-up 4th liner on the Blues is, who’s making three grand EVERY DAY he’s on an NHL roster (where he probably makes $70k in the AHL), so he’s on a roller coaster.

We acquired Wellwood?  Fak.  Back to the minors.

The Sharks claimed him?!

And then he celebrates like PK Subban after an overtime winner (which I loved, by the way.  Sick wrister, sick celly).  And of course, the reverse is going on over in San Jose.

The Sharks making some changes, hey?  And good on ‘em.  If you suck, somethings gotta give.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve gotta say about that, it just seems ridiculous that it can happen.  And while we’re talking SJ, check out this pic I took of a dude with a chopper and  a Sharks tattoo….think he’s a fan?

It's actually a damn cool tattoo

*****

In other news, there were rumours Crosby might hold out of the all-star game because he’s bitter about head shots.  Turns out it was just complete speculation from one slightly convoluted “opinion piece” by David Shoalts.

The reason I knew that wouldn’t happen and immediately shook my head at the rumour: Crosby doesn’t make waves, he avoids them.  This would be completely unprecedented.  And if there’s anything we’ve come to expect from Sid, it’s same ‘ol same ‘ol, evvvverrrryyyday.

*****

If you like twitter and sports, I recommend checking out the website www.quickish.com – it’s like twitter, only you don’t participate.  Basically, it’s a sports news aggregator that provides links to stories and quotes of interest around all the major sports and college leagues.  It doesn’t have a ton of hockey, but it’s branched out into “some” since launching I think a week ago.

*****

The NHL All-Star game captains have been named: Eric Staal and Nick Lidstrom.

So now they’ll flip a coin and start picking players – I’m really excited about that part, but not the captains, just because they’re a couple of guys who say the right things, and are in general polite dudes.  I was hoping for a little more chaos than I expect out of those two, but still, excited to watch the whole thing go down.

*****

And for the finale….let’s get Jiggy with it:

Tha boys

Tyson giving us the "what the fuck did you bring into my kingdom?" look.

Day four, as close as they've ever got. Jiggs snuck in there while Ty was out.

Last one, for now

Have a solid Tuesday folks, see ya tomorrow.

New Puck Daddy: On how practices change throughout the course of a season 

I’ve been slacking in the doing interviews/current events type posts, so expect to see a couple of those next week. 

***** 

So, I’m not sure goaltending matters in the NHL these days. 

I mean, it matters if you have bad goalies (sorry Dan Ellis, Mike Smith).  But if you’re a good team, it seems like any sort-of-big guy who can do the butterfly and play his angles can become an all-star. 

Preds goalies are suddenly hailed as stars - are they just making the saves they're supposed to behind a good team?

Now, that may sound like lunacy, but let me finish my point - my case is not that goaltending is altogether umimportant, it’s that I think having a great forward or a great defenseman (compared to an average one) is more valuable than having a great goalie (compared to an average one). 

As in, most goaltenders VORP (value over replacement player) doesn’t seem to be all that high.  {Demonstrated by the relative success of guys like James Reimer, Kevin Poulin etc.  They aren’t bad goalies by any means, but they’re certainly not exceptional yet, though they may someday be.  Team plays well in front of them, they don’t give up any freebies….boom.  You’re the next big thing.}

And doesn’t it makes sense?  A lot of the goals we see are created so beautifully nobody could stop them.  Beyond those goals, we don’t see a lot of “oh, so-and-so would’ve stopped that” -type squeakers. 

No, with the development of goaltending style and technique, the growth of the men behind the pads, and the quickness that even the average goalie has, we’ve seen soft goals die a slow death. 

The “best” goalies in the league, more and more, seem to be behind the best teams.  

It’s why a guy like Niemi can win a Cup – no soft goals, play behind a great team. 

It’s not a knock on anybody, just an observation – basically, that whether you have Luongo in net or Cory Schneider, the way for a goalie to come out looking like roses is for the team to play well (which, incidentally, they tend to do more in front of a goalie they don’t trust).  Then suddenly you’re an all-star candidate (or a starter, right Corey Crawford?)

Thoughts? 

***** 

If a player doesn’t display the obvious passion and crazy desire to be the best like Sidney Crosby, he should never get a contract longer than four or five years. 

Easy there, Stallone.

Teams are so eager these days to land a star player for a low cap hit that they’re making major mistakes.  

It becomes pretty easy to go to lunch instead of the gym when your future is so secure, I would think. 

Here’s my theory: if you manage to get a player for a low cap hit by giving him a billion year deal, you probably lower his worth to what his cap hit is. 

As in, Kovalchuk is playing like a 6 million dollar player (his ballpark cap hit) instead of a 10 million dollar player (his ballpark real salary the next few years) because they’ve given him enough years to show that cap hit. 

In trying to mess with salary cap loopholes, you create a less valuable player – it’s sort of karmic, in a way. 

The only guys you give it to are guys like Crosby or someone who you just KNOW takes being good seriously, like Rod Brind’Amour always did. 

***** 

Y’all should fear my blog post on Monday: we pick up our 11 week old Ragdoll (name: Jiggs) and bring him home for the first time.  Stock up on canned goods, get in the bomb shelter, and be prepare for CUTE OVERLOAD.

There’s no sport that I’d rather see a highlight package from than hockey.  It’s my number one. 

There’s so many different things that can happen – it’s not just different uniforms executing the diving catch, homerun, double play sequence on repeat.  The many different ways to score make it interesting, especially when you factor in huge saves, big hits, nice dishes, fights, and excitement.

That said, hockey isn’t my favourite sport to watch, when you’re talking about turning it on at the start of the event, and turning it off when it’s fully over.  (By the way, this whole thing is about TV viewing, not in-person viewing.)  Football’s my number one.  So I’m gonna go ahead and rank my six main viewing sports by fun-to-watchability, and then re-rank them for highlight packages.  Let me know where you stand.

Best Sports To Watch on TV, in Their Entirety

1.Football
2. Golf (during a major, otherwise bump it down one)
3. Hockey
4. Basketball
5. Soccer
6. Baseball

.

Best Sports To Watch, Highlight Package Edition

1. Hockey
2. Soccer
3. Football
4. Basketball
5. Baseball
6. Golf

And eff it, lets do a live-viewing rank too….

1. Hockey
2. Basketball
3. Baseball
4. Football
5. Golf
6. Soccer (Never been to a game, so it’s default last. I’m sure it’s great. Calm down, soccer weirdos)

And while we’re at it, favourite sports to play, in order…

(Note: I struggled with this, badly)

1. Hockey
2. Golf
3. Basketball
4. Baseball
5. Football (Never played an “organized” game in my life. Thx, Canada)
6. Soccer

For the record, that last category is impossible for me.  I’m a complete jock, and love all sports.  Racquet sports (tennis, badminton, squash, racquetball), volleyball, ultimate frisbee, whatever, I’m down for a game.  There’s very few things I’d rather do than chuck around a real baseball in a backyard with a beer (a football would suffice too).

Probem is, as you get older, everyone gets too busy to get enough people together for a game of anything.  Boo.

*****

Real quick here:  I had a lot of help from people who gave me and this whole writing thing a chance when I first started out, and I mean that beyond the obvious (family, Bri, friends, etc.).  Quick links-as-thank-yous to people who took a swing in the dark on my work:

Doyle Woody – Alaska Daily News
Chris Botta – Islanders Point Blank
Jason Kay – The Hockey News
Dan Friedell – Sports Journalist and Editor

*****

Here's the hat Woods found-er, wore.

The US Ryder Cup team regularly dresses like complete fucking morons.  Now, this year may be different.  But I saw Tiger Woods at a press conference yesterday wearing one of the most horrific ensembles mankind has ever dared leave the house in (minor exaggeration).

Some baggy red sweater vest (solid) over a blue and white striped shirt (thin, equal size stripes), on top of some navy trousers.  It really looked like Woods, who usually dresses to kill/sleep-with-cocktail-waitresses, hadn’t done laundry in like forever.

Rob Mixer described the shirts below (from the 1999 Ryder Cup) as “fumigated Mediterranean upholstery.”  ….FTW, I assume.

It was better than these shirts, fortunately...

*****

I’m not sure what it is about Sportcenter running tweets from athletes and pawning it off as news that’s so off-putting, but…. it is, isn’t it?  Like, I get that they could say something newsworthy there, and I understand why they’re covering it….

Something about it just doesn’t seem right, and I can’t place it.  What is it?

******

I CANNOT believe this didn’t get more love – I guess it’s a product of living in the US before the NHL Network resumes it’s “On The Fly” services, but….  My US friends, did you know Rick Nash and Evgeni Malkin fought the other day?  In a pre-season game?  What a bizarre sequence of humans and activities to plug into a sentence that is.  Nash.  Malkin.  Fight.  Here ya go: 

Coupla big boys that don’t know how to fight right there, I love it.  They’re like me, if I were bigger and good at hockey!

*****

Have a great Wednesday!  See you again tomorrow.

Nope, no he’s not. 

This makes some fans happy.  This makes some fans sad.  Either way, it’s like talking about global warming, or Pierre Mcguire.  The topic is polarizing, and people are waaaayyy too intense about it. 

….Okay, they’re allowed to be intense about the whole melting planet thing.  Let’s stick to talking puck.

For the Isles fans who’re excited that they’re not attempting to sign Ilya Kovalchuk to a contract (no formal offer was ever made) because he wouldn’t be worth it down the road, or it sticks to the widely-consumed Koolaid of the rebuild , let me ask you a couple questions.  These questions, by the way, should give some insight into my stance on the team not pushing to land the Russian star (and no, they didn’t push).

Personally, I'm very excited about Okposo/Tavares this year.

First off, fans of the slow rebuild:  Let’s just say, hypothetically, the Islanders managed to keep together the core of kids they have (Okposo, Bailey, Tavares) for a dozen years, or whatever arbitrary length of time you want to use.  Do you think that, without adding a few more high-quality pieces, they make a Stanley Cup winning team? 

I think you’d agree that no, those kids aren’t good enough to become a premier team if you filled the roster in with average players (think Horton, Weiss and Booth in Florida).  Unless you DO think that core group could win a Cup on it’s own, in which case I’d say you drank WAY too much on the fourth.

So then you realize they’d need to add a few supporting pieces to get over the hump.  How long should they wait before they do that?  And why wait?  Isn’t it better for the team to grow together, and to get some post-season experience while they’re young?

I’m under the impression that some Islanders fans think that the missing puzzle pieces have been drafted and are in the minors, slowly working their way up to the day when all the picks pan out and make the team a Cup contender.  To certain people, our “get over the hump” players are already Islanders property, and are still maturing.

Headed back to New Jersey?

So, reality check time: You DO realize that every single team in the NHL has those kids too, right?  Travis Hamonic, Calvin de Haan, those kids?  They’re wonderful players, and could be dynamite NHL contributors someday.  Probably will be.  But they exist, not just in Bridgeport, but in Grand Rapids, Albany, Hartford, Norfolk, Winnipeg and every other city that houses AHL and ECHL teams.  Having them isn’t some secret ace up our sleeves that’s gonna put us ahead of the competition if we just wait.

Everyone knows an overly practical person – the one who sacrifices love, a social life and fun for money and saving.  This person has a house before you, retires before you, and drives a fancy car.  But at some point that person is alone on Christmas going “what was I saving all that money for, again?”

That’s the Isles right now.  They’ve stockpiled prospects and kept themselves miles below the salary cap for years now.  But for what?  There has to be an end-goal, a purpose.  Until they turn some of those picks and prospects into a sincere attempt at winning – which, um, should be the goal for every franchise - what’re we saving for?

Vancouver's chips: hometown, Cup hopes. Isles HAVE to over-pay to get guys right now.

I know Charles Wang wants, nay, needs a new building on the Island.  But the team is under contract to play at Nassau Coliseum until 2015.  We can’t just roll over until then.  And doing so has turned us into Edmonton, one of those “well, I guess it’s nice to at least play in the NHL” type of teams.

When players turned down going to the Island during the FRENZY, it wasn’t because of the building, it was the team’s recent history of being a bottom-feeder, and showing no signs of trying to be anything but. 

New York lost free agents Hamhuis, Martin and Volchenkov to teams that have sincere chances to win the Cup next year.  Or at least compete for it.  It has nothing to do with the available snack food on the concourse, and everything to do with avoiding a team that won’t spend to succeed.

Free agency isn’t over.   The Isles will get someone to satiate the fans desire for some new blood.  At least for another NHL-calibre player or two.

For me, it would have been worth a few years where Kovalchuk is overpaid at the end of a deal to have a player that makes the team better and entertains the fans. 

Scoff if you want at deals like “Phil Kessel for picks”, but all the sudden the Maple Leafs roster looks a whole ton shinier than the Isles because they’ve been aggressive.  If you were predicting which team would finish higher in the standings by looking at the rosters halfway through last season, there’s no WAY you would’ve picked Toronto.  Now?

Needless to say, I’m disappointed.

Gotta get more of these jerseys to the Island!

The hockey world is aflame this week, with trades, hirings, firings, awards, HOF inductions, drafts and free agency providing us with more news that we’d get during a regular season week.  And like you, I’m quite enjoying it.

Speaking of enjoying, if you haven’t seen the Bobby Ryan/Ryan Getzlaf  (a potentially great Wheel of Fortune “before and after” question) skit, give it a gander.  It’s the perfect example of how the NHL can show it’s fans what it’s players are really like. 

As opposed to NFL players, who are like “CHECK OUT MY PERSONALITY ISN’T IT AWESOME” *beating a fan over the head with bowling pin*, NHL players tend to be more ”Nono, that suit looks great man, nice pocket square” *laced with evil*.

Okay, the major topics.

*****

This, apparently, is Dino Ciccarelli. Only two career arrests? How noble.

HALL OF FAME INDUCTIONS 

What, you mean you don’t put Dino Ciccarelli above Pavel Bure, Doug Gilmour or Joe Nieuwendyk?

Okay, me neither.  Full disclosure: I thought Ciccarelli was a tough guy.  As in, had NO IDEA he was ever an offensive presence.  So that might be a bit of a red flag on his HOF selection (or a red flag on my knowledge of NHL history, I dunno).

I will say this – in the “Builders” category, the only times I’ve heard the name “Jimmy Devellano” from my Dad and his cohorts is to say amazing, amazing things about how he doesn’t get enough recognition.  So there ya go, that convo is over.

TRADES

Nathan Horton apparently wanted out of Florida, who obliged him by bending over and taking it up the tailpipe, as Jim Carrey put it in Liar Liar.  Boston is suddenly, um, scary.

Between Wheeler, Lucic and Horton, they've got big boys that can play.

By the time they get through the draft with Seguin and some other potential-packed young bucks, AND maybe make another move or two for help right now…. Look out, the East is starting to look deep like the West.  Who are you gonna pick to finish first next year: Washington? Pittsburgh? Philly?  Boston?  New Jersey?  Buffa….no.

Dustin Byfuglien got moved somewhere that’ll please his detractors, Atlanta.  It’ll please them, you see, because they’ll rarely have to watch him play.  Probably no playoffs, not much coverage; he just evaporated into Atlanta’s mainstream obscurity, where he’ll work alongside Kane and Toews Peverly and Antropov, and try to build a playoff team in the next few years.  Y’know, after winning a Cup.  Two words: ouch.  ….ouch.

What a great. trade. by Chicago.  They addressed the cap situation, got some picks to ensure that their success is sustainable, and frankly, only moved one important piece.  And for Atlanta, they get help now, which they desperately need. 

But for Hawks fans, you’re not out of the woods yet (and you’re already down  the guy you obsessed over this past season).  There’s still at least one more shocker coming, and we’re allll pumped to see who it’s gonna be.  If the rumours are any indication, Ladd could be the next to go.

The ollll switcheroo.

HIRING/FIRING

Pat Quinn has politely been asked to step to the side to make way for Tom Renney in Edmonton, who’s officially been given the keys to the Yugo that is the Oilers.  It’s the right move, unfortunately.  Quinn is a great guy, and was a great coach, but the times, they are a-changin’.

The “new” NHL involves far more pandering to personalities and offense than it did at Quinn’s peak, where the focus was on bear-hugging your opponent and and using the 1-0-4 neutral zone defense (also, some of the focus was on convincing your goaltender that it’s acceptable to go down).  For a young team like the Oil who’ll be drafting a young star tomorrow, they needed a younger coach.

NHL AWARDS

I’m upset at ZERO of the selections, wonderfully done this year.

Canucks fans have Hall-of-Famers on their hands.

Henrik Sedin scored 112 points.  When his brother was down, he picked his team up.  He made plays with such vision and speed that I completely forgot to make fun of his zombie-like appearance.  He was just a terror and neither Sid nor Ovy – who both had great years – could claim that they were better than  him in the 09-10 season.  I’m happy for Henrik.

Datsyuk owns the Selke, for this stat alone: he went 30 games without a penalty, and led the league in takeaways.  How. is that. possible?  You can only trick a guy with the stick-lift so many times…. or so I thought.

Could've taken it easy on the impressions though...

Keith took home the Norris, because, um, he was the best defenseman this year.  Doughty may be a lock to win a couple in his career, and he may have been spectacular this year, but he didn’t get “there” yet.  Oh, and Duncan?  Your speech was a trainwreck.

All in all, I thought the awards show was great.  People encouraged me to watch just to see how awful they are, but…. they weren’t.  Then again, I usually like Jay Mohr (I like somewhat corny stuff), and I like any forced attempt at comedy, funny or not (hence my LOVE of stand-up comedy).  If it wasn’t for the effing awful bands that played, it would’ve been entirely entertaining.

I mean holy shit, the Goo Goo Dolls?  What the eff.  (Bad music makes me swear)

NHL DRAFT

The reality of trying to play professional hockey is, there’s always some young kid on the come-up about to take your spot.  The only solution, for me anyway, was to tune it all out.  Like, seriously – I never watched or listened to any story that pertained to young guns.  Now that I’m a writer, that has to change I suppose.

For me, the draft will be fun to watch for two reasons: trades, and to mock super-young nervous kids.  I still didn’t pay much attention to the young guys this past year.  Thus, like most of you, I know next to nothing about junior hockey/European/college players except for what I’ve read, soooo, whatever. 

But I will be live-chatting about it from like, 1pm to 7:30pm tomorrow with Yahoo’s Puck Daddy.  Expect awesome insight on players suits and their nervous ticks.

FREE AGENCY

The Isles are about to shock the world by signing Kovalchuk, Gonchar, and James.  As in, Lebron.  I’m sticking to my guns on that, and it’s going to be epic.  And we’re trading DiPietro to Vancouver to back up Luongo, and getting the Sedins and Kesler in return.  Awesome.

*****

ENTOURAGE is back with some new episodes soon.  Yes, and also, yesss.  I’ve missed Ari.

UPDATE: Ohmigod – as one of the nine fans serious enough to own box sets of the show, I can’t believe I didn’t mention the return of FUTURAMA tonight!  Weeeee!

*****

Let’s talk puck.  What’s on your mind?

Booooo Skankees!

 SEE YOU IN THE WORLD SERIES, BEAR.

 Oh, and BTW – how about Isner/Mahut?  Damn.