Ilya Kovalchuk…. is NOT an Islander

 

Nope, no he’s not. 

This makes some fans happy.  This makes some fans sad.  Either way, it’s like talking about global warming, or Pierre Mcguire.  The topic is polarizing, and people are waaaayyy too intense about it. 

….Okay, they’re allowed to be intense about the whole melting planet thing.  Let’s stick to talking puck.

For the Isles fans who’re excited that they’re not attempting to sign Ilya Kovalchuk to a contract (no formal offer was ever made) because he wouldn’t be worth it down the road, or it sticks to the widely-consumed Koolaid of the rebuild , let me ask you a couple questions.  These questions, by the way, should give some insight into my stance on the team not pushing to land the Russian star (and no, they didn’t push).

First off, fans of the slow rebuild:  Let’s just say, hypothetically, the Islanders managed to keep together the core of kids they have (Okposo, Bailey, Tavares) for a dozen years, or whatever arbitrary length of time you want to use.  Do you think that, without adding a few more high-quality pieces, they make a Stanley Cup winning team? 

I think you’d agree that no, those kids aren’t good enough to become a premier team if you filled the roster in with average players (think Horton, Weiss and Booth in Florida).  Unless you DO think that core group could win a Cup on it’s own, in which case I’d say you drank WAY too much on the fourth.

So then you realize they’d need to add a few supporting pieces to get over the hump.  How long should they wait before they do that?  And why wait?  Isn’t it better for the team to grow together, and to get some post-season experience while they’re young?

I’m under the impression that some Islanders fans think that the missing puzzle pieces have been drafted and are in the minors, slowly working their way up to the day when all the picks pan out and make the team a Cup contender.  To certain people, our “get over the hump” players are already Islanders property, and are still maturing.

So, reality check time: You DO realize that every single team in the NHL has those kids too, right?  Travis Hamonic, Calvin de Haan, those kids?  They’re wonderful players, and could be dynamite NHL contributors someday.  Probably will be.  But they exist, not just in Bridgeport, but in Grand Rapids, Albany, Hartford, Norfolk, Winnipeg and every other city that houses AHL and ECHL teams.  Having them isn’t some secret ace up our sleeves that’s gonna put us ahead of the competition if we just wait.

Everyone knows an overly practical person – the one who sacrifices love, a social life and fun for money and saving.  This person has a house before you, retires before you, and drives a fancy car.  But at some point that person is alone on Christmas going “what was I saving all that money for, again?”

That’s the Isles right now.  They’ve stockpiled prospects and kept themselves miles below the salary cap for years now.  But for what?  There has to be an end-goal, a purpose.  Until they turn some of those picks and prospects into a sincere attempt at winning – which, um, should be the goal for every franchise - what’re we saving for?

I know Charles Wang wants, nay, needs a new building on the Island.  But the team is under contract to play at Nassau Coliseum until 2015.  We can’t just roll over until then.  And doing so has turned us into Edmonton, one of those “well, I guess it’s nice to at least play in the NHL” type of teams.

When players turned down going to the Island during the FRENZY, it wasn’t because of the building, it was the team’s recent history of being a bottom-feeder, and showing no signs of trying to be anything but. 

New York lost free agents Hamhuis, Martin and Volchenkov to teams that have sincere chances to win the Cup next year.  Or at least compete for it.  It has nothing to do with the available snack food on the concourse, and everything to do with avoiding a team that won’t spend to succeed.

Free agency isn’t over.   The Isles will get someone to satiate the fans desire for some new blood.  At least for another NHL-calibre player or two.

For me, it would have been worth a few years where Kovalchuk is overpaid at the end of a deal to have a player that makes the team better and entertains the fans. 

Scoff if you want at deals like “Phil Kessel for picks”, but all the sudden the Maple Leafs roster looks a whole ton shinier than the Isles because they’ve been aggressive.  If you were predicting which team would finish higher in the standings by looking at the rosters halfway through last season, there’s no WAY you would’ve picked Toronto.  Now?

Needless to say, I’m disappointed.

 

Crazy Busy Off-Season Week in NHL News

 

The hockey world is aflame this week, with trades, hirings, firings, awards, HOF inductions, drafts and free agency providing us with more news that we’d get during a regular season week.  And like you, I’m quite enjoying it.

Speaking of enjoying, if you haven’t seen the Bobby Ryan/Ryan Getzlaf  (a potentially great Wheel of Fortune “before and after” question) skit, give it a gander.  It’s the perfect example of how the NHL can show it’s fans what it’s players are really like. 

As opposed to NFL players, who are like “CHECK OUT MY PERSONALITY ISN’T IT AWESOME” *beating a fan over the head with bowling pin*, NHL players tend to be more ”Nono, that suit looks great man, nice pocket square” *laced with evil*.

Okay, the major topics.

*****

HALL OF FAME INDUCTIONS 

What, you mean you don’t put Dino Ciccarelli above Pavel Bure, Doug Gilmour or Joe Nieuwendyk?

Okay, me neither.  Full disclosure: I thought Ciccarelli was a tough guy.  As in, had NO IDEA he was ever an offensive presence.  So that might be a bit of a red flag on his HOF selection (or a red flag on my knowledge of NHL history, I dunno).

I will say this – in the “Builders” category, the only times I’ve heard the name “Jimmy Devellano” from my Dad and his cohorts is to say amazing, amazing things about how he doesn’t get enough recognition.  So there ya go, that convo is over.

TRADES

Nathan Horton apparently wanted out of Florida, who obliged him by bending over and taking it up the tailpipe, as Jim Carrey put it in Liar Liar.  Boston is suddenly, um, scary.

By the time they get through the draft with Seguin and some other potential-packed young bucks, AND maybe make another move or two for help right now…. Look out, the East is starting to look deep like the West.  Who are you gonna pick to finish first next year: Washington? Pittsburgh? Philly?  Boston?  New Jersey?  Buffa….no.

Dustin Byfuglien got moved somewhere that’ll please his detractors, Atlanta.  It’ll please them, you see, because they’ll rarely have to watch him play.  Probably no playoffs, not much coverage; he just evaporated into Atlanta’s mainstream obscurity, where he’ll work alongside Kane and Toews Peverly and Antropov, and try to build a playoff team in the next few years.  Y’know, after winning a Cup.  Two words: ouch.  ….ouch.

What a great. trade. by Chicago.  They addressed the cap situation, got some picks to ensure that their success is sustainable, and frankly, only moved one important piece.  And for Atlanta, they get help now, which they desperately need. 

But for Hawks fans, you’re not out of the woods yet (and you’re already down  the guy you obsessed over this past season).  There’s still at least one more shocker coming, and we’re allll pumped to see who it’s gonna be.  If the rumours are any indication, Ladd could be the next to go.

HIRING/FIRING

Pat Quinn has politely been asked to step to the side to make way for Tom Renney in Edmonton, who’s officially been given the keys to the Yugo that is the Oilers.  It’s the right move, unfortunately.  Quinn is a great guy, and was a great coach, but the times, they are a-changin’.

The “new” NHL involves far more pandering to personalities and offense than it did at Quinn’s peak, where the focus was on bear-hugging your opponent and and using the 1-0-4 neutral zone defense (also, some of the focus was on convincing your goaltender that it’s acceptable to go down).  For a young team like the Oil who’ll be drafting a young star tomorrow, they needed a younger coach.

NHL AWARDS

I’m upset at ZERO of the selections, wonderfully done this year.

Henrik Sedin scored 112 points.  When his brother was down, he picked his team up.  He made plays with such vision and speed that I completely forgot to make fun of his zombie-like appearance.  He was just a terror and neither Sid nor Ovy – who both had great years – could claim that they were better than  him in the 09-10 season.  I’m happy for Henrik.

Datsyuk owns the Selke, for this stat alone: he went 30 games without a penalty, and led the league in takeaways.  How. is that. possible?  You can only trick a guy with the stick-lift so many times…. or so I thought.

Keith took home the Norris, because, um, he was the best defenseman this year.  Doughty may be a lock to win a couple in his career, and he may have been spectacular this year, but he didn’t get “there” yet.  Oh, and Duncan?  Your speech was a trainwreck.

All in all, I thought the awards show was great.  People encouraged me to watch just to see how awful they are, but…. they weren’t.  Then again, I usually like Jay Mohr (I like somewhat corny stuff), and I like any forced attempt at comedy, funny or not (hence my LOVE of stand-up comedy).  If it wasn’t for the effing awful bands that played, it would’ve been entirely entertaining.

I mean holy shit, the Goo Goo Dolls?  What the eff.  (Bad music makes me swear)

NHL DRAFT

The reality of trying to play professional hockey is, there’s always some young kid on the come-up about to take your spot.  The only solution, for me anyway, was to tune it all out.  Like, seriously – I never watched or listened to any story that pertained to young guns.  Now that I’m a writer, that has to change I suppose.

For me, the draft will be fun to watch for two reasons: trades, and to mock super-young nervous kids.  I still didn’t pay much attention to the young guys this past year.  Thus, like most of you, I know next to nothing about junior hockey/European/college players except for what I’ve read, soooo, whatever. 

But I will be live-chatting about it from like, 1pm to 7:30pm tomorrow with Yahoo’s Puck Daddy.  Expect awesome insight on players suits and their nervous ticks.

FREE AGENCY

The Isles are about to shock the world by signing Kovalchuk, Gonchar, and James.  As in, Lebron.  I’m sticking to my guns on that, and it’s going to be epic.  And we’re trading DiPietro to Vancouver to back up Luongo, and getting the Sedins and Kesler in return.  Awesome.

*****

ENTOURAGE is back with some new episodes soon.  Yes, and also, yesss.  I’ve missed Ari.

UPDATE: Ohmigod – as one of the nine fans serious enough to own box sets of the show, I can’t believe I didn’t mention the return of FUTURAMA tonight!  Weeeee!

*****

Let’s talk puck.  What’s on your mind?

 SEE YOU IN THE WORLD SERIES, BEAR.

 Oh, and BTW – how about Isner/Mahut?  Damn.

The Most Randomly Random Entry In Awhile

 

In a few weeks, it’ll be my ten year high school reunion.  Crazy, crazy stuff.

The only thing more crazy than that is I’ve reverted back to making the same amount of money now as I did then.  And then I delivered pizza and bused tables. 

Glad I could be around for this whole “death of journalism” thing.

*****

I give the NHL my share of little jabs for not making the best decisions, but I had this brought to my attention yesterday: the NBA Finals are a 2-3-2 home-away-home format.

As in, if you win one of the first two games on the road, you get three straight cracks at home after that.  That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.  Sooo, the next three games of a 1-1 series are in Boston?

Doesn’t that seem insanely unfair, given that home court advantage in the NBA is like playing the entire  game on the powerplay?

*****

What are your thoughts on playing hockey tipsy?

This an entirely new experience to me, since, y’know, I’ve never been a rec player before.  But when the game is at 10 o’clock and you have a couple beforehand, it’s an odd experience.  Can’t say I love it.

But, it seems a lot of guys do…. doesn’t it just make the game seem like it’s happening too fast?

*****

Alright, my buddy and I batted this idea around the other day.  Nothing gets tainted or changed by doing this I don’t think, so….

Shouldn’t the NHL have some guy that sit in a booth somewhere and reviews every single play?  They could have just as much power as the on-ice refs. 

They would review every important play between whistles (like how we get to see the replays at home), and if the on-ice refs miss something, they can turn on a light at the scorers booth before the puck is dropped, or communicate it directly to the on-ice official.  So when we go ”oh, wow, penalty”, someone actually gets one.

Refs aren’t trying to miss calls, but you can’t look everywhere.  Take last game: our new booth guy would turn on a light and the ref would turn on his headset or whatever, and the guy says “yep, Briere was high-sticked by Keith off the draw, it’s a double-minor”, and the call could get made. 

We’d still need the on-ice guys because so much happens quickly that’s irreversible (offsides calls, for instance), so the refs would do the exact same job, they’d just have a safety valve for obvious calls that they miss.

We’ll never catch everything, but wouldn’t it be good to catch more?  Whaddya think?

*****

I’m pumped “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” is on Comedy Central now.  Give it a chance.  I could watch like ten episodes in a row.

*****

Comment sections on internet articles should have some way to lock down commenter picks, so they can’t flip flop.

As a writer, I’m held to my predictions pretty firmly.  At least you can look up what I said and call me on it.  I want a thing on Puck Daddy and here where the person’s comments on the series come from say “Jim Smith, Philly in Six”. 

It’d be awesome for me to be able to filter what everyone is saying through their own bias, the way EVERYTHING I WRITE gets filtered.

*****

Yesterday I walked out of Costco and a guy with knee high black socks, black running shoes and a vicious side-part looked at the contents of my cart and said “good choices”.

So now I’m worried I bought stupid-looking stuff.

*****

Guy Fieri host “Diners, Dives and Drive-Ins” or something like that.  Turns out one of the spots is a minute from my front door, called Chino Bandido. 

It’s “Asian-Mexican Fusion” (apparently a Chinese guy married a Mexican girl), and it’s awesome.  If you’re ever in Phoenix, look it up.  Ginger chicken burrito.  Orange chicken quesadilla.  I’m so goddamn full.  Still. (Maybe because I ate the leftovers for breakfast?) 

*****

Okay, today’s Puck Daddy entry is on the Struggles of the Top Dogs in the Finals.  Here’s the link to yesterday’s Keith for Conn bit.  Happy Tuesday!

Coyotes, Jets, and The Montreal Canadiens

 

In this year’s Stanley Cup Playoffs, there’s one series going the distance that Bourne’s Blog hasn’t really discussed yet.

The Phoenix Coyotes vs. The Winnipeg Jets

On the one hand, you’ve got a city with about a kabillion people, but with a kavery few hockey fans.  On the other hand, if you constructed a Venn Diagram of people in Winnipeg, and people who like hockey in Winnipeg, it would literally just look like one circle.  A hockey puck, if you will.

Still, this will NOT be a rip on Phoenix blog.  I live in Phoenix.  I badly want the team to stay.  Let’s just talk about the options a bit.

For gross generalizations, Phoenix is an awesome city, and balmy Winnipeg rarely receieves rave reviews from it’s own residents.  Got me?  It’s ass-cold.  Could you imagine being a player, and being told you have to spend next winter in Winnipeg instead of Scottsdale?  The old guys would just retire, or maybe make the commute from Scottsdale to the ‘Peg for practice everyday.  Just sayin’.

It appears Glendale is kinda hosed.  So wait, we pay for your losses, or don’t have a team here and lose money?  This is AWESOME.  Glendale would have done better with online sports betting than actually having a sports team.  But hey, maybe that’s what they get for negotiating a deal that gave the Coyotes nothing from concessions and no parking revenue in a city you were never guaranteed great gate receipts.  (Another question is, who accepts those terms from a rink that was being built halfway to Canada anyways?  Just how bad was Moyes?)

I’m one of the folks that thinks the team can work here, for a couple reasons: One, this Ice Edge Group has their heads together, if not their wallets.  They’re attentive, and want to be involved in owning/running an NHL team, where some owners  just want to display their ownership like a Mercedes logo on the hood of their car (check my Moyes story in the comments).  And two, because this is the bandwagonniest of bandwagoner towns I’ve ever seen, and I like their roster a lot more now than I ever have (starting with Tippett).

The bandwagon remark is meant in with good intentions, and I should mention there are some diehards.  In fact, there’s a hockey community of bloggers and fans I’ve come to know and respect that deserve hockey as much as anyone (which ignores the fact that for every one of those guys here, there’s 20 in Winnipeg, but still, they’re genuine fans that found a passion that may be ripped away from them.  And really, it’s not like the diehards in Winnipeg are at a loss to find hockey to watch, especially with an AHL team in town).

The thing is, it’s time to stop bluffing, Glendale/NHL/Ice Edge/Whoever.  You’re each others only option to save face.  There can be no back-room dealings.  There needs to be a sit-down with Bettman and representatives from Ice Edge and Glendale, and it needs to be discussed quickly and with full public transparency.  You can all see each others cards, fellas.  Glendale, which way do you lose less money?  With or without the team?  Chose that option. 

It’s playoffs, and you just made me waste 500 words on you.  You’re making me angry.

*****

Pittsburgh, Montreal, Game Seven

Hmm, didn’t like my “whites of his eyes” theory, huh Pitt?  Went for the “reds of the posts” instead, I see.

Now THIS was an exciting game.  And Montreal – whatever it is they’re doing – are doing it.  Damn.

That Cammalleri snapper to start the game was ridiculous, and immediately prompted me to tweet that it’s time we induct him into the “shots you could easily miss in slow-motion” elite, with Semin, Stamkos and Ovy.  Good gravy, he shot that thing from the tops of the circles, unscreened and Fleury was just like…. “I have to get me a Cammalleri jersey to wear when I play out in road hockey.”

I’m still saying Pittsburgh will win, as most of the people out there probably are, but I know this much – I’ll be watching.

*****

Happy Tuesday ya’ll.  Lookin forward to game six Chi/Van tonight!

Weekend Catch-Up: All Hockey, No Golf

This is going to blow your mind, and probably make you happy, but….. I’m gonna leave the Masters blogging alone for today (though I’m not quiiiite done with it).  I’ma do what I do best.  Nooo, not make fun of the WNBA.  I’m gonna write about hockey.

Sweet, glorious hockey.

It’s that time of year, people.

So let’s cover the exciting events of the weekend, starting with…..

THE ROCKET RICHARD TROPHY

 GOALS

Crosby 51
Stamkos 51
Ovechkin 50

Though it’s sort of become what I do for a living, I hate “serious” sports arguments.

You know, some guy makes a point that’s supported by some random factoid he read somewhere, puts it in defense mode, and the conversation never advances.  This happens everytime you talk Richard Trophy.  Ice time!  Powerplays!  Games played!  Linemates!

Whatever.  They all had remarkable years.  Plus, this trophy shouldn’t leave much to talk about.  It’s black and white; based on totals. If we’re arguing about who the best goal scorer in the game is – that’s Ovechkin by a mile. 

But still, I feel inclined to make two points:

1)  Why isn’t there a tie breaker so someone can actually win it outright?  Give the trophy to the guy who had the least games played (Sid has one less), or to the guy who had less empty netters? (as has been mentioned a number of times, Puck Daddy included).  Orrr, am I just suggesting that because both stats favour Sid (only had one, to Stamkos’ three) and I was rooting for him “2 – 4 – 6 – 8″ style. (Who do we a-ppre-ci-ate!)

2)  While on the empty-net / pro-Sid talk….. Let’s all admit it.  Stamkos getting his 51st on a set play from a d-zone faceoff was a little cheesy.  I seriously do like Stamkos (just wanted Sid to get at least one Rocket in his career), but come on.  Up 2-1, your centerman wouldn’t push the puck forward in a normal game, for fear of giving it to your opponents d-man, who’d bomb it back down your goalies throat.  So to call a play you wouldn’t normally call, strictly to get your linemate a goal – while I would have done THE EXACT SAME THING - is still corny.  We’re allowed to acknowledge that, while acknowledging the fact that Stamkos’ season was mind-blowing. 

Congrats to all.  Except Ovy, who’s a complete and total third-place failure.

*****

I’d be remiss if I didn’t quickly mention the Evander Holyfield Kane punch on Matt Cooke (video), because nothing says “justice” like getting knocked the eff out by an 18 year old.  In the cartoon version of that fight, Cooke would’ve held up a “HELP’ sign just before the punch, and absolutely would’ve had little stars and birdies floating around his mini-ice-nap.

 *****

So, I sat down at my favourite pub after work on Friday, and Breezy joined me.  To my left, some chaps were chatting about hockey, so of course, I chimed it.  Turns out the gentleman beside me scored the first goal in Canucks history, and had a 15 year NHL career – Mr. Barry Wilkins.  Here’s our conversation:

Barry:  Sure I know you’re Dad!  He was on the Islanders team that beat us (Pittsburgh) when we were up 3-0 on them in the playoffs!

Me:  Ah!  Oh.  Sorry bout that.

Barry: Not a week goes by without it bothering me.

Me:  Mmm.  Um… probably doesn’t help that my father-in-law was on that team too, huh?  Clark Gillies.

Barry:  He broke my shoulder/collar bone with a big hit.

Me:  This isn’t going well.  ….I’ll text my Dad and see if he remembers playing you.

Barry:  He’ll probably remember me as a d-man with rock hands.

Dads Text: “BARRY WILKINS? LEFT-HANDED D-MAN, STONE HANDS?”

Me: Sorry, he’s not writing back for whatever reason….

  *****

The Flyers/Rangers play-in game was exciting, but Rangers fans… if Henrik Lundqvist makes 43 saves, you’re shooting on Bobby Boucher, and you can’t win… you don’t deserve to.  NY should ship Torterella and Sather out, grab an experienced GM and the best AHL coach, and just start over. 

Although, I must admit: as an Islanders fan, I think you guys should keep the same personnel and keep plugging.  You’re good enough.  You can do it Rangers, I promise.  No changes.  Just grab that shovel and start digging towards next season….

*****

Of all the eight teams to make playoffs in the West, only one team isn’t a plus in the “goal differential” category (which matters) – that being Nashville.  Their failure to get it done down the stretch buried their playoff hopes - now they play Chicago, who’s goal differential looks like my two round score if they let me try to make the cut at the Masters: +62.  Here comes a beat down from Chi town.

*****

Though you may not have been following my fantasy hockey league (okay, you haven’t been.  Like, at all), I made a late season charge to grab the last playoff seed (8th in a 20 team head-to-head league).  Then I won round one.  Then I won the semi’s.  And last week was the finals, where I……

Got SMOKED.  Badly.  Congrats to Pat of “The Kindrachuckers”, to whom I know owe a bottle of Crown Royal.  Curses.  Thanks for playin’ everyone, that was a blast.  I’ll be doing it again next year (a pay league, so I can buy the winner something cool…. or just give him/her the cash), and mayyyy end up doing something for playoffs if I have time to set it up.

*****

 Henrik Sedin won the Art Ross this year, with 112 points.  I have nothing to say except congrats.  That, and I’d like to subtly imply he’s a cyborg by asking people if anybody has ever actually witnessed him bleed blood.  Just a question, that’s all.

*****

Congratulations are also due to Boston College, who beat Wisconsin 5-0 to win the NCAA National Championship.  After watching Wisconsin play RIT, I was pretty sure they could handle the Maple Leafs with relative ease, so I was a surprised they got thumpled so bad.  But then I realized “is being better than the Maple Leafs that great of a measuring stick, at any level?”

 

*****

Okay, THAT’S ENOUGH.  Especially since playoff predictions are baking in the oven.  The deliciousness shall be ready soon!

 

100 Pushups, Injury Anguish, and the Presidents Trophy

 

When I retired from hockey, I was PUMPED to not have to work out.  I knew I would want to, someday, but I needed some time where I didn’t have to shower three goddamn times a day.

I had always envied that about people not playing hockey – for the most part, you wake up, shower, and that’s it for the day.  You’re done.  Hockey players never get to do that.  Minimum two a day, and on game days, three (post-morning skate, post-nap wake-up shower, post-game).  You’re day has too many starts and stops.

So for my first summer out of the gym, I just enjoyed getting up, showering, and having a full day.  That formula, for those of us who consume like gluttons, equals gaining a bit of mass.  So, I’ve been making a committment to working out the past month or two - and by working out, I mean cardio, because I could care less about being jacked…. I just don’t want to have to buy all new clothes.

That said, it’s probably time I try to get some muscle tone again.  So, at the recommendation of Deadspin’s Drew Magary, I’m going to take up the program from 100 Push-ups (assuming my sterno-clavicular joint doesn’t get too angry – it doesn’t like when I lift too often, after the abuses it suffered.)  The goal being, obviously, to be able to do 100 consecutive pushups after seven weeks.

I’ll be doing the push-ups Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and will be reporting progress the following days .  I took the first test yesterday (as many as you can, to fatigue) to see which program I’d be on, and busted out 38 (a far cry from the 80 I once did at an Islanders camp).  So here we go! 

Day 1:  38

*****

Any other Isles fans out there as worried as me about them becoming the Montreal Expos?  Y’know, drafting well, developing talent, then trading those guys for picks once they’re ”ready”?  What’s the status of the Lighthouse project out there? I haven’t kept up on progress — lord knows Wang ain’t gonna pay to keep all these kids if the team’s future isn’t the one he envisioned.

*****

Can you imagine the mental anguish of being injured so badly you may never get to prove you’re worth the big contract you signed?  I know lots of you will joke that you’d take the big contract, but it must be a horrible feeling to be Rick DiPietro or Greg Oden, and to think – “If I got the chance to be a bust, and was one, I could handle this – but being called a bust after never physically getting the chance to play feels horrible.”  I definitely have sympathy for those guys.

I think Garth Snow has done a great job with the Islanders.  He’s in an Obama-like situation - digging the Islanders out of the mess made by the previous administration.  But still, there’s just too many uncertainties in life to ever sign an employee to 15 years.  Too much can happen to think you wouldn’t need a review after say, five, where you can say ”hey, nice work, let’s re-up your deal.”  It’s like my Arizona drivers license that expires in 2047.  Really? I don’t have to take a single eye test between now and when I’m 65?  That seems safe.

*****

The NHL’s Presidents Trophy has an offensive bias.

Lets face it – if two teams come into a game lethargic, you can play smart defense and work less hard.  If your team scores mucker-style playoff goals, you need to have the throttle down to be effective (and you need some bounces).  So when you can’t be at that 100%, teams that have dangly skill guys (who are dangerous at half-speed) can still put enough pucks in the net to win.

And over the course of an 82 game season, plenty of games are played by two worn down teams.  Which is why, when you have the natural firepower of a Washington, you can score that extra goal or two without the extra effort, and collect your two points.  In the past, it hasn’t been that the Presidents Trophy winning team has the best team, they’ve just had the best skill guys.

*****

Tampa Bay has the 8th best powerplay in the NHL, the leagues 5th, 6th, and 26th leading scorer, the number two overall draft pick from last year, and what should be good goaltending.  They’re currently three points ahead of Toronto, who hold the title “dead last in the Eastern Conference”.  Ooo, idea for who to replace Rick Tocchet with:  Amazingly, he’s still available — Barry.  Melrose.

Your Unnecessarily Happy Monday Post

 

Few things make me as happy as when Down Goes Brown tweets that he has a new entry up.  He is, unequivocally, the best provider of hockey funny on the ‘net, made better by the fact that he seems to be well informed.

The best part is, his type of infotainment (mmm, buzzwords…) represents the direction sports coverage is moving.  Thanks to the internet, there’s alternatives to ESPN’s ”pre-season-baseball-is-something-to-be-taken-seriously” tone.  Sites like his (and hopefully mine) are like sports version of The Daily Show.  You don’t always tune in to learn about politics (or sports), but you can’t help but pick up a few things as you go.

If you want a hockey blog that’s basically the CNN of what’s going on with the NHL’s major topic du jour, Stu Hackel runs the NY Times Slapshot Hockey Blog, and does a great job of providing the big picture.  I like to read his daily entry, right-click all the links, open them in new windows, and spend the next hour catching up on whats going on with the more serious side.

So imagine my delight (and jealousy) when today’s Down Goes Brown post revealed a partnership between the two blogs.  Well played, NY times – good to see you working to meet the interests of more hockey fans.

Also, the Down Goes Brown partnership with Bloge Salming has provided us with a number of hilarious hockey videos (remember the Olympic hockey rap?) it’s a shame they usually pertain to the *gag* Maple *dry-heave* Leafs.  Here’s one of the more recent gems, an “NHL on NBC promo spot”. 

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As for your own resident (and often cynical) hockey blogger, I say good morning!

If a week could be an “eve”, this week would be BestSportsWeekEver Eve (rolls off the tongue, eh?). 

The good thing about “Eve’s” (Christmas, New Years, um… Labour Day?), is that they’re usually fun too.  So lets have some.  Here’s some stuff that’s great right now, to set you on a positive course for your week:

*Fans are actually attending games in Phoenix….  Because they’re winning….  Like a certain blogger once wrote would happen.  Be prepared - I fully intend to go “Fire Joe Morgan”-style on my own pre-season article to validate myself.  Go Coyotes!  (Today’s all-too-obvious tidbit for Coyotes fans: Catching San Jose just because the most important thing in your world.  You should start cheering like it’s playoffs, for real…. You know Detroit is gonna pass Nashville for 5th.  Nobody wants to play one of the best teams in the league as a five seed).

*It’s spring.  I haven’t exactly been suffering over here in Phoenix in the winter, but damn, is it nice out these days. 

*We’re a few days behind Puck Daddy over here, but I wanted to boost our egos on my blog today anyway - sometimes even the best players eat it, just like you!  Enjoy these two shootout fails:

 

(I love that the ref waves his arms, signaling “no goal!”  Thanks, Judge Judy.  That was a tough call.)

*My TBAF (to blog about files) are stuffed with awesomeness.  It’d still be a good week if the NHL wasn’t heading to playoffs, college hockey wasn’t headed to the Frozen Four, March Madness wasn’t headed to the Final Four, the Masters weren’t coming up, baseball season wasn’t starting, NBA playoffs weren’t starting and all that other stuff…. but it’s all happening, so buckle in.

*Bourne’s Blog recieved a couple much appreciated donations this week, with a bonus:  One of them was it’s first from an NHL Hall-of-Famer.  So just think, when you’re commenting, some legit hockey people are reading your opinions (and probably fully judging you).  So keep up the good work, my entries are nothing without your follow-up. {A lot of my buddies that still play at the highest levels periodically check-in and recommend topics, so they’re judging you too.}

For those of you who’re thinking “eff you with the positivity, it’s Monday”, that’s fine.  I’m a prick too.  But just relax for today, and we’ll get to hating stuff tomorrow.  Like 3D TV’s (I just bought a TV, in September, you a-holes) and Rick Dipietro’s structural make-up (At least Roloson’s catching Chelios in age!).

Happy Monday.  YOU KILL THE JOE, YOU MAKE SOME MO!

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UPDATE: Go read my thoughts on implementing a transitionary visor rule for The Hockey News.  St. Louis Blues defenseman Tyson Strachan already wrote me to tell me it’s a dumb idea, soo….. hot start, Bourne.

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Also – a couple requests for the “Jim Playfair melts down” video, so here ya go.  Dude looks like my college coach Dave Shyiak, if Shyiak was full of meth, speed and malt liquor:

NHL Standings Chat

 

Happy Monday morning, friends!  Hope you had a good weekend – it was a beauty in PHX, minus my double bogey on 18.  More on that tomorrow..

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NHL standings talk!  First, the West:

LEGEND ›

Since none of us believe that Detroit is going to miss the playoffs – y’know, cause they aren’t going to – the real number for Calgary, St. Louis, Anaheim, Minnesota and Dallas to shoot for is the Avalanche’s 86 – ten points ahead with ten games to go.  We could very well be looking at the exact same teams above the cutoff line ten games from now.  In fact, I think we will be.

Because of that, this is the first year I’m thinking more about the playoff seeding of our eight qualifiers than who they actually are.

For San Jose, the best thing that could happen to their Cup chances would be to finish fourth, and play at least one of the “happy to make it this far” teams – that being Los Angeles, Nashville, and Colorado.  All three of those teams were predicted to miss the playoffs at the start of the season, and when contrasted to their expectations, I think they’d be far more likely to roll over and die (or better put, be too content with their over-achieving regular seasons) than, well, any of the other four opponents in the West.

Will Phoenix finish above San Jose?  It’s gonna be close – Phoenix has a tough road ahead with six of their last nine on the road (road gmes: Chicago, Nashville, Vancouver, Calgary, Los Angeles and San Jose), but I’ve finally learned my lesson on betting against them.  The best part, as demonstrated in parantheses above, is that the last game of the year is San Jose versus Phoenix, and it could very well have huge who-plays-who implications.

As for the East….

LEGEND ›

 

A few things surprise me:

1)  To teams on the bubble that have been trying to crack playoffs and be taken seriously for years (Atlanta, Tampa Bay, Florida…. okay, you too, New York teams):  How bad do you need the other teams to be?  They’ve done everything they can this year to lose and fail.  Perennial playoff teams like Boston and Philly CANNOT be any worse than they’ve been.  At some point, you’re gonna have to grab the bull by the horns and win some big games.  To quote Floyd Mayweather, “step ya game up”.

2)  As far as I know, neither Boston or Montreal has played consecutive good games this year.  I’m amazed they’re in 7th and 8th.  And poor Philly – better than Buffalo at every position, if you entirely ignore the fact that they have to play with AHL goalies.  AGAIN.  

Yep.  Poor, poor Philly.

3)  The crazy divide between the top four teams and the bottom four in the East is weird – it basically means the top four teams get a first round bye, which is nice in the NHL playoff marathon.  The only team I’m not fully sold on that’s up there is Buffalo, simply because if Miller has a couple bad games, they can be beaten.  Actually, y’know what might be fun?  A Philly/Buffalo playoff series where Philly beats Buffalo like a drum for 50 of the 60 minutes every game, and loses 3-2 and 2-1 four straight times (after Biron Eche Cechmanek Boucher lets in a few soft ones).

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Kudos to Teemu Selanne for scoring 600 goals…. crazy that I’m old enough to remember his amazing rookie year.

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Even crazier?  Kudos to ME for crawling from 16th out of the Bourne’s Blog Hockey League 20-team alley-fight (yes, that’s even crazier than Selanne’s 600 NHL goals, apparently), and climbing into a playoff spot the last week of the year.  I chipped all the way up to seventh, and it’s a new season kiddies, look out!

Only five more days til Friday.  And only a few more pounds til I go on Drew Magary’s twitter public humiliation diet.  Dude is down 45 pounds so far.

No Suspension For Cooke – Idiocy Revealed

 

I received a great email from a reader today, which I think people should see.  He made the following point:

“Campbell said the Richards hit set a precedent. I’ve not had a problem with the NHL’s suspensions and reasons for suspension this season unlike many others, but this one is absolutely ridiculous. There have been a couple precedents set, and one that directly involves Cooke.

Authors note: the following were video links, embedded below.

Precedent
Suspension
in reference to previously set precedent
 
The Anisimov hit Cooke was suspended for was ‘a check to the neck/head area.’”

Enjoy the videos in succession.

Reference:

Precedent:

In reference to previously set precedence:

Think those hits are accidents?

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I wrote a piece for The Hockey News on what I think should be a factor in making head shots legal/illegal.  The GMs made nearly the exact same proposal I was hinting at.  Check it out here.

Options For Avenging a Cheapshot Are Pretty Limited

 

Interesting timing – I was going through some columns that I had deemed unfit to release from a few months ago, and found this one about what David Booth can do to avenge getting his brain shaken by Mike Richards (short answer: nothing).  But after Matt Cooke played the role of Richards in a recent re-enactment with Mark Savard, it seems relevant again.

 

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What Now?

-by Justin Bourne

 

Mike Richards scrambled David Booth’s eggs so thoroughly that the guy was no longer free range. It happened on a hit you’d be polite to describe as “questionable”.

Confined to the couch and bed, he avoided exercise like all concussion-cases, letting things heal themselves using the best known medication – time – and has since made his return to the Florida Panthers.

He watched Mike Richards get punished in the form of… um… he got punished by… er… really, he didn’t even get a game suspension?  What the crap?

From David Booth’s perspective, you have to think the fella’s a little pissed.  He narrowly missed being named to the US Olympic team, and was denied the chance to prove his worth over the course of this season, while Richards snuck onto one Team Canada as one of the last forwards chosen (they like that he plays a physical game, you see).

Without their top goal scorer (Booth had 31 goals last year), the team is currently a few points out of a playoff spot, and just behind… the Philadelphia Flyers, who are now technically in the playoffs.

Needless to say, the aftershocks of a decision made by Richards that happened in a split second are still reverberating throughout the Eastern Conference standings.

Florida played Philly about a month back and lumped them up 4-1, even without their star Booth.  That was nice, but had they had him all season, who knows how many 2-1 games would have gone Florida’s way, or shootout losses would’ve gotten nullified with Booth in the lineup.  Game breakers are tough to come by, and to be so close to the playoffs without theirs, the Panthers have a right to gripe.

In these cases, when you or a teammate gets drilled, people always tell you to beat them on the scoreboard.  That doing that is the best revenge.  That the scoreboard is where it really hurts.

Is it though?  What’s Booth supposed to do when he comes back, try really really hard to win?  You don’t think he was doing that before, and every other night of his career?  He can’t control how the rest of his team plays.  Maybe he’ll show up with his “A” game to beat the Flyers the next time they play but Florida won’t win.  In hockey, you’re just one piece in a big team puzzle.

Tying to beat up your assailant isn’t the right answer either.  Though noble, by the “fight him” logic, the toughest guys on the ice have free rein to destroy people, because you can’t ever get real physical revenge on a fight-winning human like George Laraques (though I’m sure Nicklas Kronwall would like to try, stick in hand, of course).  You can always try, but if you get hit by a tougher dude, the only thing you get by going after him when you’re healthy is a chance to be made unhealthy again.

Also, there’s the whole moral thing, which can be a hassle.  You’re supposed to be above that, you know.

There’s the idea that the player who injures another player illegally should be out as long as the player he injured, but that theory’s got more holes than an OJ alibi.  I won’t even go into that theory.

So if you’re David Booth, how do you avenge the Richards hit? 

Maybe you don’t.  Maybe you just take your lumps, acknowledge you play in a contact league, and that hits like that – whoever’s to blame for them - are periodically gonna happen.

But that’s frustrating bullshit too.

The second you see Richards you’re going to want to hit him with a tire iron.

There’s just nothing you can do.  When you get seriously injured in the NHL, not only do you suffer temporary and long-term health concerns, you suffer the mental misery from not having a way to settle the score.

This is why the reaction towards dangerous hits from the league is so crucial.  Low-balling the seriousness of a hit is a crime nearly as bad as the hit itself.

I’m a Canadian hockey player who loves watching the rough stuff.  But in an era where players have to answer less and less for their actions on the ice, we need to hold them more and more responsible from the offices off the ice.  Especially in light of the recent data the NFL has been digging up about the seriously harmful long term effects of concussions.

The only way to get players to exercise more caution is to keep dropping suspensions that get players to snap awake like we dumped cold water on them.  They’ll bitch, they’ll complain ….and they’ll stop finishing “questionable” plays.

Too little, too late for David Booth, but don’t worry.  He’ll get ‘em on the scoreboard, where it hurts the most.

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Authors note:  As you probably know, David Booth did try to fight Mike Richards.  After seeing how it went down,  I was glad it happened.  Nobody got hurt, Richards gave Booth his fair shot, and it was over.  That said, other than gaining respect in the hockey world, nothing changed in the big picture.  Booth missed half a season while Richards didn’t miss a shift, the Panthers are still just out of playoffs, and Booth missed the Olympics while Richards has a gold medal.  And, Richards team will most likely make playoffs.  Some of you may not have thought that hit was bad, but I did, so I’m just using it as an example to illustrate a point.  This article isn’t just about those two.

A Little Insight Into “Show Dough”

 

Occassionally, I’m going to do a little feature called call-up madness, explained, where I’ll answer any questions you have (email me) about what goes on behind the scenes of an NHL farm system.  Today, I’ll talk about something I never personally got to experience, but still know how it works from being around it.  You know, the part of playing professionally where you get rich: the NHL call-up, and how it affects your bankroll.

“Show Dough” is the term used to describe making NHL money by everyone not making it, AKA players in the AHL/ECHL and beneath.  The term is best served slathered in jealousy and bitterness.

You’ve heard the all-too-true stories: guy signs a big deal and has a Cadillac Escalade by the end of the week, cause, y’know, how else are people gonna know he makes show dough if he keeps his old car? (See how nicely the bitterness sets off the phrase?)

One of the fun parts about playing professional hockey below the Escalade pay-grade is that you get used to the fact that you could be rich or broke with a call-up or send down on any given day.  You have to, or you’d go crazy trying to Gilloly your teammates (that reference too dated yet?), so you sort of get numb to the whole thing.

What this means is, sometimes the mook who accidentally drinks his own chew spit, has no front teeth and made out with that chick-at-the-bar-that-turned-out-to-be-a-dude will just suddenly get “rich” when the phone rings one day.  It’s really weird to see who changes (and how) with the show dough earned from a call-up.

When guys permanently make it, they tend to quickly adjust to the next tax bracket, so they don’t really appreciate it like the guys who only get to go up for a couple days – because that couple days of show dough sounds glorious.

To over-simplify, league minimum is somewhere around (or maybe a bit above now) $450,000.00 a year, so getting called up for ONE SINGLE DAY is pro-rated to $3,000.00 in your bank acount, $2,000.00ish after taxes.  That means a week in the bigs equals $21k, $14 after tax. 

These call ups are for real.

For a guy making $50,000 a year, a very common AHL amount, a few day call up is a nice kick in the pants.  And for guys who have an NHL deal that make more than the minimum when they go up, it starts getting crazy.  Upon getting sent back to Bridgeport with the rest of us shlubs, Jeff Tambellini told me that his call-up (around three weeks or so) had earned him more than he made over the six/seven months of the entire AHL season.

So often, you’ll see a guy who gets called up to an NHL team for a few games get sent down for the two days between games, and fans go “well what the hell was that all about?” — and the answer is pretty obvious.  If a guy is making $300 a day in AHL, they stand to save $2,700 for every day they don’t have to have the kid practice, travel, or rest on an NHL roster (also why it’s nice to have your affiliate team close).  Clearly, not the best thing for the kids ability to succeed, but hey, them’s the breaks - you can take the days you get or don’t, bud.

Just thought I’d fill-in those of you who didn’t know how call-ups got paid, because hey, I’m here to help.

Next week in call-up madness, explained: coaches that dress extra guys for warm-up, then tap one or two of them on the shoulder to tell them they aren’t playing, just before the game…. and why they should be ice-picked in the face for doing it.

{Note: at Islander camp, we got $100 a day for meal money, in an envelope just stuffed with hundreds for the week ….and they provided two meals a day, including an omlette station with our buffet breakfast.  Guys under contract got $1500 for the week for “meals”, somehow.  ECHL “per diem” as they eloquently call meal money (which you only get on the road, of course), is up to $34 a day.}

Buy and Sell: Some NHL Teams As Stocks

 

Snap back to reality, and just like that, the multicolored rings, skin-tight lycra and Giant Inflatable Beavers are a thing of the past.  Last night, the puck dropped on Colorado – Detroit, and some very important points changed hands.

Before last nights NHL game, I was seriously contemplating putting a chunk of money down on Detroit, but simply don’t have a large chunk of it, which makes putting it somewhere kinda difficult.

I once heard that the NHL, gambling-wise, is the most predictable of the major sports.  That is to say that, for the most part, the good teams are usually the good teams, and Columbus will flouder in perpetuity.  I almost made that bet, because there’s still some inevitable leveling that needs to happen for the NHL season to get back to normal, and two teams played last night that moved in the directions they’re probably going in the second half.

And that’s no knock on Colorado – I believe in them a lot more than a few of the other surprise teams – it’s a testament to Detroit’s being-Detroit-ness, and having too much team to miss the playoffs.  Combine that with the now-healthy/running-out-of-time factor, and picking against the Wings (who have a rested goalie) down the stretch is madness.

Here’s five teams (as stocks), and I’ll letcha know what to do with your money!

Detroit:

As I just mentioned, they’re decent.  Pavel Datsyuk, Henrik Zetterberg, Johan Fransen, Tomas Holmstrom, Brian Rafalski, Nicklas Lidstrom, Nick Kronwall and the discovery of Jimmy Howard are the oh-so obvious reasons why (oh, and that Babcock guy).  They haven’t been healthy, and haven’t had a chance to be “them” yet.  BUY!  BUY!

Phoenix

I wrote an article at the start of the year for the Arizona Republic trying to defend the fans lack of attendance here.  My defense for them was, the team has sucked, sucks and will suck (you can teach English as a second language using that sentence, PS).  It turns out that that wasn’t a very smart angle to take upon moving to Phoenix, as it’s made getting credentialed in the press box a skosh harder, only made worse by the fact that I was horribly, horribly wrong.

So to take the angle I’m about to take is not something I want to do.  It’s just…. look, Coyotes fans:  Your roster has to catch up to you eventually, but that’s not a good argument for you because you love your roster.  Try this on: your d-corps is playing over their heads out of this world (leading the NHL in goals by d-men, really?).  They’ve done great up ’til now.  But Anaheim is about to get a bunch better.  Detroit is too.  So is St. Louis.  Then you’ve got San Jose, Chicago and the rest of the conference to contend with.

The problem?  11 of your last 15 games are on the road (I want to say nine in a row at one point).  I’m not sure how far I expect the fall, but it’s definitely out of home ice advantage.  So sorry, sell. (NOT LITERALLY, BALSILLIE, PUT YOUR WALLET DOWN!).

Anaheim

As Hiller showed with the Swiss in the Olympics, he’s the real deal.  Anaheim did a great thing in committing to him.  What they haven’t done great this year, is win.  I’m sure last year the system of finish eighth then reveal your true colours isn’t exactly the game plan, so I think we’ll see them revealved a little sooner this year.  San Jose is praying I’m wrong – they see the potential 7/8 seeds as Detroit/Anaheim and are already packing for an early summer.  Buy yourself a little bitta Duckstock.

St. Louis

Since Davis Payne’s arrival, St.Louis has been 11 – 8 – 3, not exactly setting the world on fire.  But any team that’s leaning on a foundation of David Backes, TJ Oshie, Eric Johnson and an under-achieving goalie can get itself righted.  They’re young guys, for sure, but they’re gaining experience and confidence as they go, so buy, BUY, BUY!

Buffalo

Down the stretch, I’m less trusting of the teams that have blown expectations out of the water, because there’s a reason people didn’t pick them to finish that high in the first place (looking at their roster, how can they be this good?).  People knew Ryan Miller was good, but “world’s best” good?  They may falter because they use this guy for not just a crutch, but a walker with tennis balls on the front to slide around on.  (Would you rather finish fourth with a burned-out Miller, or sixth/seventh with a rested one?  They should let him chill down the stretch a bit).  Miller has, in the past, started much better than he’s finished, because he’s a slight guy who gets overplayed and worn down.  Look for reality to set in a bit for the Sabres, sell!

Worth Mentioning:

I think the Kovalchuk trade was huge for the Devils – I’d be picking them to drop without that move.  But there’s another reason why it’s tough to pick them to drop:   The bottom half of the Eastern Conference is horrible.  Just horrible.  Atlanta, Florida, Carolina…. there’s just too many free wins for the boys at the top to pick teams like NJ to drop.

I’d mention the Isles as a team headed south if there hadn’t already set up permanent residence there (Hey, Ricky’s hurt!) ….2-8 in their last ten (horrible prediction – the Isles finish in the bottom five, get crazy lucky and win the draft lottery, then a few months later trade some sparklingly talented kid for draft picks cause they don’t actually want to have to pay too many good players). 

As for penny-stock moves, I think you’ll see Tampa Bay and Toronto finish the season stronger than the first two-thirds.

So there ya have it!  Where am I a horrible idiot (Jim Cramer from Mad Money), and where am I an awesome genius (Justin Bourne from Bourne’s Blog)?

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Tomorrow I’ll be live blogging trade deadline day with the team at Hockey Primetime.com (here, on my blog), from like 9:30 a.m. (EST) til forever.  I’ll be on a few radio shows.  I’ll be texting my friends that play for dirt.  Come by and say hi!

 

“Phaneuf” Sounds Onomatopoeic

 

Really, the title has nothing to do with anything.  Just an observation, reallly.  That’s the sound you make when you get hit by him, maybe.  “Ph-neuf!”

Because today is gonna be sooo fun, lets start with huge news from the hockey world:

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So yeah, good morning!

The Toronto Maple Leafs are the best team ever of all-time and they’re gonna win the Cup, right?  Big time.

I see no need for any further review.

Okay, just a little:  I thought it was awesome that Phaneuf fought in his first period.  If you’re Dion, you know it’s all eyez on you in that first period, so what better way to show you’re committed to being a Leaf than to have a go with Colin White?  Every time I ever fought it took a period-plus of self-convincing that I needed to do it (with the odd sticking-up-for-a-teammate skirmish, of course).  Phaneuf clearly needed less time.  He just seems like a Maple Leaf.

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Dion has gone from the Western Conference to the East, and I found myself thinking about how cool that would be.  Playing in new cities, cities like New York, Philadelphia, Boston, all those old-school east coast cities (Raleigh-Durham!).

Which leads to the question: which would be the better conference to play in?  They both have their warm cities (Phoenix & San Jose vs. Tampa Bay & “Sunrise” (Panthers), they both have their Canadian cities (Toronto, Ottawa & Montreal vs. Vancouver, Calgary & Edmonton), and they both win their share of Cups.  What’s your vote?

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You know what always surprises me?  How different players hold their stick with their top hand.  It’s something you just assume everyone does the same, but they totally don’t.  And, it makes a huge difference in the things you can do with a stick and puck.

I assume most new players just grab the stick and go,  and don’t give it another thought, which is how you should decide what you like.  But a good rule of thumb is, if you’re “choking up” on the stick with your top hand, you probably aren’t a great player.   Sorry.

Some guys jam the butt-end of their stick into their palm (I’m not even gonna try to make that sound more appropriate, you’re an adult.  Stop it), like, completely perpendicular to it.  I’m somewhere in the middle.  My palm wraps around the very top like a claw, but the rest of my fingers wrap around pretty normal.  You’ll find the real handsy guys have their palm and stick in that 90 degree-angle-claw hold (90 degrees is an exaggeration, they obviously have to have some fingers wrapped around, but the butt-end will be jammed into the palm), while guys with hard shots and simpler games just grab the damn thing like they’re holding on to a railing, and fire when ready.  Those guys (d-men, usually) have no idea what I’m talking about right now.

I’m guessing how you hold the top of your stick hasn’t crossed your mind all that often?  I probably just did the classic golf jinx to like, 400 people.  “Do you inhale or exhale when you swing?”

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 Happy Humpday folks.  I hope the Lost premier was as good as EVERY PERSON ON FACEBOOK EVER hoped it was.

Western Conference Playoff Spots

 

The battle for playoff spots in the West is always a little more intriguing when some unexpected teams blow up and have good seasons, and this is one of those years.  Phoenix, Nashville and LA are all better than I expected, and I think better than the rest of the West had hoped.

So without really any ado, here’s how I see the bubble teams finishing up:

4th, Vancouver Canucks, 52 games played, 66 points

The only reason the Canucks get a blurb in the “bubble teams” section at all is their upcoming road trip.  They set an NHL record by being gone for something like six weeks, and playing 14 straight road games (Olympic preparation in Vancouver).  They’re 22-7-1 at home, but below .500 at 10-11-1 on the road this year.  If they survive the trip at .500, they’ll be in great shape.

{Only Washington, Pittsburgh and San Jose have scored more goals than the Canucks this year, and only New Jersey, Buffalo and Chicago have given up less.  Not bad, VanCity.  Not bad.}

5th, Phoenix Coyotes, 52 games played, 63 points

The ‘Yotes have played the majority of their games to date at home in the friendly confines of Jobing.com Arena (29), where they’re a dominant 19-8-2.  On the road, the Coyotes are an even 10-10-3 (23 games), sort of how your record is supposed to look.  With a third of the season left to play, they’re in position to push for a quality playoff spot.

Have you noticed a trend in the teams that are “overachieving”?  The Coyotes, Sabres, and Avalanche all have similar team builds, to some extent.  They’re fast over big, mostly young over mostly old, they’ve got great goaltending and most importantly, their top six forwards are almost all interchangeable as ”first line” guys.  Instead of the NBA method – pay one player to be your star and build around him – they all seem to be deeper teams without “that guy” to watch out for (the top two scorers from the teams I just listed are Tim Connolly and Paul Stastny, both below a point a game at 48 points in 51 games).

The Coyotes are going to make playoffs this year, but to have any hope of moving beyond a quick round one exit, they need to finish in 5th or 6th – 7th or 8th (versus San Jose or Chicago) would be hopeless.

6th, Los Angeles Kings, 51 games played, 61 points

The Kings seem fragile, don’t they?  Points are always easier to come by before Christmas, just like wins.  When Anze Kopitar has Ryan Smyth to help him out, he’s useful, but his production has seriously slowed down.  He just doesn’t seem like a guy who can get it done when his opponents key on him, they way the real elite stars can.  That says to me he’s not ready to be “the guy” on a team that needs one.  They’re good enough to win even with him struggling, so they’ll hang on to playoffs, but you certainly get the impression they aren’t headed the right direction.

7th, Nashville Predators, 51 games played, 61 points

I almost included the Preds in the group of “overachieving teams with the same build” from the Coyotes paragraph, but in the end, I didn’t think their Dan Ellis or Pekka Rinne deserved to be in the same class as Bryzgalov, Miller and Anderson.  Nashville could be the best team to miss playoffs this year… and I see it happening.

8th, Detroit Red Wings, 51 games played, 58 points

The depressing part for the teams on the wrong side of the playoff cutoff line looking in right now is, you’re not trying to catch Detroit’s 58 points, you’re looking at Nashvilles 61.  Detroit has played with half a team all year.  They’re the best coached team in the league, with some of the best names in the entire NHL in their dressing room (even with all they lost from last year).  The Canucks and Avalanche can start stressing now about which one of them is going to get unfortunately stuck in a (4) vs. (5) battle with Detroit.

9th, Calgary Flames, 52 games played, 58 points

What the hell happened to the Flames?  I feel like I fell asleep for an hour and they dropped a half-dozen spots.  Hmm.  1-8-1 in their last ten, with six straight losses.  By all logic, the Flames should be okay:  great goaltender, maybe the best defensive trio in the league, and a couple of guys up front who can score.  For me, the major difference between their offensive firepower and the teams “overacheiving” this year, is that their goal scorers aren’t young and energetic.  They don’t have that legs churning, relentless effort type threat right now – they’re scary in the “HolyCrapDon’tLetHimShootFromThereAWww.  They scored.” type of way.

10th, Anaheim Ducks, 52 games played, 55 points

This is the difference between the Eastern and Western conference.  The 10th and 11th place teams in the West are still really good (so are the Isles, but um, I just…. crap).  The problem is, they can’t all make playoffs, and Anaheim didn’t get off to a great start.  I don’t think they’re good enough to have a huge second half and make up for it.

11th, Dallas Stars, 52 games played, 55 points

I was waiting for them to end up in this spot in the conference, and here they are.  Dallas is a good team, but when teams like Phoenix and LA are good too, it toughens up their usually soft division.

12th, Minnesota Wild, 52 games played, 54 points

I don’t know a lot about Minnesota this year, and that’s not a good sign.  I do know when you’ve pinned a chunk of your offensive hopes on Chuck Kobasew and Andrew Ebbett, you’re in a whole heap of trouble (both are good enough players, but very shutdownable.  Yep, I can make up words on my blog.)  I guess their go-to guy is Havlat, I’m just not sure what else they’ve got.  I’m sure my oddly heavy Wild readership can fill me in on them, but from what I can tell, they don’t have a hockey teams chance in Phoenix snowballs chance in an oven.

13th, St. Louis Blues, 52 games played, 54 points

I’m sticking to my guns on the Blues, especially with the addition of Davis Payne.  They’ve got good top six forwards, good goaltending, and hopefully enough D to get into contention during the last few weeks.  I still think they’ll make a push.

 

Eastern Conference Playoff Spots

 

Bear with me, hockey fans… In my last blog, I made a couple football predictions – I said the Colts would beat the Jets 24 – 17 with a late pick thrown by Sanzchez:  Colts beat the Jets 30 – 17 with a late pick thrown by Sanchez.  I also said the Saints would win on a late field goal, 31 – 30:  The Saints won on a late field goal, 31 – 28.  Damn.  I should make this a football blog.

Now that my back has been sufficiently patted, I’ll move on.

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Dennis Wideman, a member of my fantasy hockey team, was minus three when he got hit in the face with a puck last night.  He celebrated by returning and moving to minus four.  I’m celebrating by publicly chastising him on my blog.  Dennis Wideman sucks.

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Spots 6 – 13 in the Eastern Conference standings are separated by three points right now (55 points to 52 points), with the Senators in 5th, ahead of the pack by five points (60).  Unfortunately for Ottawa, they could be on the wrong side of the line come playoffs. 

If we bring them into the mix, because lets face it, they are in the mix, that means there’s nine teams vying for four spots.  Here’s the who’s out/who’s in predictions, according to my dumb self:

5th, Ottawa Senators, 53 games played, 60 points

As I just alluded to, I don’t like the Sens team this year.  They’ve got one of the best lines in the NHL with Spezza and Alfredsson, but that’s really the only leg they’ve got to stand on.  Mediocre goaltending, suspect D, and just not enough firepower to get it done (also, they have to play essentially shorthanded when Kovalev is on the ice notgivingafuck for a living).  They’ll be in the battle for the eight spot in April.

6th, Philadelphia Flyers, 51 games played, 55 points

Didn’t I just write about them being a scary low seed?  Apparently they made a push.  Philly is definitely one of the teams who’ll stick, and with the return of Emery, I think they’re looking at the five seed, just high enough to “upset” a then-staggering Buffalo or New Jersey.

7th, New York Rangers, 52 games played, 55 points

I remember thinking the Rangers would finally be one of the leagues top teams this year, but with Torterella proving himself to be more of a yeller/motivator than a guy focused on strategy and keeping his team level, I’m not sure what to think.  I can see them getting into playoffs as a seven seed, and, anytime you have a legitimate goaltender in playoffs, you’re going to stress out your opponent.  Maybe they can pull it together by then.

8th, Montreal Canadiens, 53 games played, 55 points

I’m calling them “in”, but if I’m wrong anywhere, it’s here.  I think we knew they’d be a team fighting for a playoff spot this year, so every night matters.  That means they need to stay healthy to squeak in – either way, the Capitals are going to ROLL OVER them if they earn this spot.

9th, Boston Bruins, 51 games played, 54 points

The Bruins will make the playoffs, probably as a six seed, and why not: proven goaltending, some good d-men including shut-down defender and Norris winner Zdeno Chara, and enough pieces up front (when healthy) to put the puck in the net.

10th, New York Islanders, 52 games played, 54 points

My Isles need to fight tooth-and-nail to win every possible point on every possible night, cause it’s a long-shot.  Coaching and goaltending are keeping them afloat right now, so two things have to happen down the stretch for them to have any hope (barring trading for Kovalchuk or someone else substantial):  The d-corps will have to play way over their collective head (after Streit, their D are basically all 5th/6th d-men on most teams), and the young guns (Tavares, Okposo, Bailey, Moulson) need to find some way to keep/improve their pace as the point-getting gets tougher after Christmas….  It always does.  Here’s to hoping!

11th, Florida Panthers, 52 games played, 53 points

Losing David Booth buried the Panthers this year.  They’ve actually got a pretty squad over there – not many teams can afford to have a 30 goal guy miss the season (while banking six million of your teams money), especially not perennial strugglers like Florida.  Their hopes hinge on him returning sooner than later.

12th, Atlanta Thrashers, 51 games played, 52 points

Only Carolina and Toronto give up more goals than the Thrashers, and they’re talking about trading the major cog in their offensive machine in Ilya Kovalchuk.  They need Kari Lehtonen to be who he can be ASAP if they’re to have any hope.  Which they don’t have much of.

13th, Tampa Bay Lightning, 51 games played, 52 points

Tampa’s a good team.  I mentioned my “Tocchet is a bad coach” theory before, and after a little roster evaluation, I’m even more certain of this.  Lecavalier, St. Louis, Ryan Malone, Stamkos, and Tanguay can all play, while they’ve got some good role players, average d-men and good goaltending.  I see them battling for that 8th spot with Ottawa and Montreal come April.

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That’s all folks!  Agree?  Disagree?  Let’s hear it!

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