Hockey, Holiday Thoughts

Major thanks to Ms. Conduct for yesterday’s great entry - always nice to change the pace up a little bit over here at Bourne’s Blog, and lord knows featuring Vesa Toskala does that.

Walk-off home run by Sturm

I haven’t had the chance to blog about the Winter Classic yet myself, so sorry this is a little late… but wasn’t that amazing?

Dude, I cried like four times.  Not even sure why.  It was like watching The-Masters-style montages about pond hockey, all those people, outdoors, toques everywhere, just the whole damn thing… I dunno…. the game has just done so much for myself and my family.  From my Dad’s living to my own, we all owe a great deal of what we have to this sport, and to see it honored the way the Winter Classic does just tugged at my heartstrings.  I could cry again.  Moving on.

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Just watching the NHL Network here, as I tend to do in the mornings - not sure who ”Scott Cullen” is, but he apparently does a power rankings list (like the rest of the hockey watching free world, including me).  He has the Canadiens ranked 11th and the Penguins 12th, which is backed up by neither stats nor logic.  I am continuously befuddled by analysts insistence on placing originality over common sense.

So lemme ask…  You buying the Canadiens right now?  Their goaltending has been great, but still, I can’t imagine another cusp-playoff squad I’d want my favourite team to go up against more than the Habs.  I’d be way more scared to see Atlanta or Philly in that eight seed if I’m in the top spot.

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What are you supposed to say to people around January 1st, Happy New Year or Happy New Years? 

The Seinfeldian discussion I had with my buddy established this – the holiday is “New Years Eve”.  Thus, wishing someone “Happy New Years” (as is the most common form, I think) is wishing for them to have one good day.  “Happy new year”, then, blankets the whole year, and doesn’t need the event capitalization.  So, happy new year to you.

These people should be beaten mercilessly.

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Christmas lights: You can have other colors than the staples of red, green and white, but not on their own.  You can’t go with just an all-purple strand on your house, can you?  You can do every colour, mashed together, but the isolated non event-themed strand?  What are you trying to achieve here??

Also, I have no words for people like this ——->

On a related note, go take your lights down.  It’s over.

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Keepin' it classy.

That Santa, boy.  He’s one special cat.  Apparently, I made the ”nice” list this year, because check out the latest edition to the Bourne abode on the left.

Oh by golly have a holly jolly Christmas – this yearrrrr.

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Who thanks who on the way out of a restaurant? 

Should they be thanking me for my business, or should I be thanking them for their service?  There has to be some “your welcomes” at some point, I think.  If it were a big, mutual happy experience we were both benefiting from, we’d dine out all the time.  It’s expensive, so we don’t.  Thus, I believe (as does my heavily re-tweeted friend Dave) that as a customer, we pay for the service we get in tip form, so the “thank you” is taking it too far.  Cash or thanks, your call, restaurants. I will now commence “your welcoming” thank you’s.

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I’ve noticed that every time a team gives up a huge number of shots, people automatically heap praise on the goaltender. 

If our back-up goalie went in at any level, he always did better for himself if he saw 50 shots over 20, no matter how many actually went in.  We tend to act like giving up three on 20 is so much worse than four on 50, but I’ve gotta believe that’s not always the case.  I think we all agree that sometimes it has to be harder to play the 20 shot game, and, giving up three is better than four everytime.

The tendency for beat writers and analysts is to forget the most important fact:  context is needed for every evaluation of goaltender performance.  Just because a goalie makes 46 saves doesn’t qualify it as a well played game.  Just because a goalie gets over the coveted 90% save mark doesn’t mean he played well either.  It comes down to “should he have stopped that shot”, each one as an isolated incident.  On any given night, maybe the answer to all 50 shots taken is “yes”.

The ONLY thing that matters is that context.  A guy can give up four goals on 16 shots, but if he faced eleven breakaways and a two-on-one, he’s the first star.  Maybe he went post-to-post for six minutes of 5 on 3 penalty-kill time without seeing a shot, but still managed to discourage players from pulling the trigger.  The point is this:  quit lavishing goaltenders with praise for performances based on scrolling ticker stats like ”stopped 46 of 50″ without doing a little actual processing of the game played.

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Thats all for today!  Hope your new year is off to a great start.

A Few Quick Thoughts

Alright, let’s talk game one of the WNBA Western Conference Finals tonight!  ………..ahhhhh, I’m just playin’.  This is a sports blog.

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A little Gretzky reflection yesterday brought this thought a-bubblin’:  How amazingly underpraised is his slapshot from his playing days?  Everyone talks about the vision and playmaking (both head and shoulders above anyone), but man, that guy played in the treetrunk era of sticks and could knock waterbottles off like he was looking through a scope.

{The year after my Dad retired, he took my bro and I through the Kings dressing room -- Gretzky signed his silver aluminum game stick and gave it to my brother and I (did you know he had custom foam grips on those?  Not tape?  Weird).  Oblivious to the fact that the stick may be something of value aside from the fact that it was reeeally shiny, we used it in the house on occassion.  Which, in retrospect, was a great call - the smudged writing looks super.}

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I recently tried to pretend that I was pleasantly surprised by the “tier one” rec hockey in Phoenix.  It was a lie.  If it were an aroma, it’d be bad enough to make you dry-heave.

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The NFL network provides original programming, up-to-date news around the league, and neat shows that play NFL audio, or tell the whole story of famous games in history.

The NHL network is re-playing the 2008 playoffs (fair enough), sandwiched by mediocre games from playoffs in the 80′s and 90′s.  It’s like ESPN Classic: Just Kidding Edition.  Can I get some current NHL news, more than a preseason game a day or something?  Why has the NHL not hired me yet? 

Hell, I’ll sit behind a desk and let someone take cellphone videos of me talking about recent happenings around the league so Americans can have some idea of what’s going on in the world of hockey.  That might even be the name of the show… “Recent Crap That Happened, with Justin Bourne”.  Who wouldn’t prefer that to game five of the 1989Wales Conference semi-finals?

Somebody, run that damn station, please!  At least hire some kid to sneak into TSN and record their show Blair Witch style, so we can get some coverage, anything!

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I spent years with my nose in the air, claiming I prefered beer bottles to cans.  But after some introspection, I think I’ve been living a lie.

I like the *crack!Pzzszszszs* sound of the can.  I like playing with the tab.  Denting the empty’s.  I mean, some beer, like a Corona, has to be in the bottle (and of course, good beer, like microbrews).  But for those times when I’m having more than one, I think I’m coming to grips with the facts that I like cans.  Anti-foaming agent and all.

Come on passionate beer enthusiasts (a great, well-established trait of my readers) -- whatcha got in the fridge?  Bottles or cans?

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If I have any sway over the next few minutes of your time on the internet, I want you to spend it watching Louis CK clips on YouTube.

I know he’s growing in popularity, and starting to drift into the mainstream a bit more, but god does he deserve it.  For those of you who’ve been with my blog from it’s inception, you know I consider myself a bit of a stand-up comedy connoisseur.  I’ll get you started.  Enjoy! 

(Language advisory -- F-bombs abound)

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