A Few Quick Thoughts

Alright, let’s talk game one of the WNBA Western Conference Finals tonight!  ………..ahhhhh, I’m just playin’.  This is a sports blog.

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A little Gretzky reflection yesterday brought this thought a-bubblin’:  How amazingly underpraised is his slapshot from his playing days?  Everyone talks about the vision and playmaking (both head and shoulders above anyone), but man, that guy played in the treetrunk era of sticks and could knock waterbottles off like he was looking through a scope.

{The year after my Dad retired, he took my bro and I through the Kings dressing room -- Gretzky signed his silver aluminum game stick and gave it to my brother and I (did you know he had custom foam grips on those?  Not tape?  Weird).  Oblivious to the fact that the stick may be something of value aside from the fact that it was reeeally shiny, we used it in the house on occassion.  Which, in retrospect, was a great call - the smudged writing looks super.}

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I recently tried to pretend that I was pleasantly surprised by the “tier one” rec hockey in Phoenix.  It was a lie.  If it were an aroma, it’d be bad enough to make you dry-heave.

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The NFL network provides original programming, up-to-date news around the league, and neat shows that play NFL audio, or tell the whole story of famous games in history.

The NHL network is re-playing the 2008 playoffs (fair enough), sandwiched by mediocre games from playoffs in the 80′s and 90′s.  It’s like ESPN Classic: Just Kidding Edition.  Can I get some current NHL news, more than a preseason game a day or something?  Why has the NHL not hired me yet? 

Hell, I’ll sit behind a desk and let someone take cellphone videos of me talking about recent happenings around the league so Americans can have some idea of what’s going on in the world of hockey.  That might even be the name of the show… “Recent Crap That Happened, with Justin Bourne”.  Who wouldn’t prefer that to game five of the 1989Wales Conference semi-finals?

Somebody, run that damn station, please!  At least hire some kid to sneak into TSN and record their show Blair Witch style, so we can get some coverage, anything!

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I spent years with my nose in the air, claiming I prefered beer bottles to cans.  But after some introspection, I think I’ve been living a lie.

I like the *crack!Pzzszszszs* sound of the can.  I like playing with the tab.  Denting the empty’s.  I mean, some beer, like a Corona, has to be in the bottle (and of course, good beer, like microbrews).  But for those times when I’m having more than one, I think I’m coming to grips with the facts that I like cans.  Anti-foaming agent and all.

Come on passionate beer enthusiasts (a great, well-established trait of my readers) -- whatcha got in the fridge?  Bottles or cans?

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If I have any sway over the next few minutes of your time on the internet, I want you to spend it watching Louis CK clips on YouTube.

I know he’s growing in popularity, and starting to drift into the mainstream a bit more, but god does he deserve it.  For those of you who’ve been with my blog from it’s inception, you know I consider myself a bit of a stand-up comedy connoisseur.  I’ll get you started.  Enjoy! 

(Language advisory -- F-bombs abound)

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