The Kovalchuk Trade, And A Must-See Gear Link

Man.  You guys loves you some gear talk.  The second part of this entry picks up where we left off, a bit.  However, there’s something a little bit more relevant to discuss today:

The Kovalchuk Trade

 The Devils?  The Devils.  Really?  The Devils.

Get ready to hear "dynamic" way too often.

I guess I was hoping for somewhere a little bit…. sexier.  I mean, no offense to you, Devils fans – you guys have every right to be stoked.  Not only are you now legitimate Cup contenders, but the rest of us (sorta) benefit from Kovy playing in more “important”, widely broadcast games. 

But when I think of the amount of exposure I get to NHL stars, Parise wasn’t too far behind Kovalchuk in the ”great players I never see play” department.

So whatever.  From the hockey fan aspect, I’m a little bummed about the deal.  But lets look at the deal beyond Justin’s self-interest, something we rarely do:

My first, and somewhat ridiculous thought, was “as an unrestricted free agent, you can sign anywhere you want, right?  Could Kovalchuk feasibly sign back with Atlanta?  Would that be looked at as the most evil thing ever, or is that legit?”

Only reason I thought that was because of the legitimate quality of the offers Kovalchuk reportedly received from Atlanta: $101 million over 12 years, or $70M over 7.  Does he think he’s going to get much more than that somewhere else?  Those deals would have made him higher paid than both Ovechkin and Crosby (in the early years of the deal).  Who turns down offers like that from a team you claim to want to play for?  No, I think I deserve MORE than half a million dollars a year over what that Ovechkin dud makes.  Nobody, that’s who.

{In the event he can’t sign with Atlanta as a UFA this summer for some reason I’m unaware of, then my bad.  That was just my initial reaction.}

So that was my brief conspiracy theory.  Maybe Ilya and the Thrashers just agreed that they don’t have “it” this year, and were conspiring to stock up for next, when he’ll then re-sign with them.

{By the way, I really like the name “Ilya”.  It’s just badass to say.  I might name my dangly rec hockey alter ego “Ilya”.}

Back to life, back to reality….

I thought Atlanta made a pretty nice deal.  Bergfors and Oduya are above average additions to any team, plus Cormier and the first-round pick are packed full of positive maybe (or maybe Cormier will get charged with more elbow-related assaults), so who knows how this trade looks in five years.  It could look really good for ATL.

Forhead save!

As for New Jersey, good on ya for taking a swing at this year.  I hate the half-commited thing the Flyers do every year – it’s what I keep bitching about with Washington.

Yes, we acknowledge we’re good enough to win the Cup.  Yes, we acknowledge our goaltender isn’t good enough to win a Cup.  No, we don’t intend to do anything about that.

So the Devils smell themselves as a three(ish) seed, see themselves winning round one, mayyyybe round two at best, but see that they’re going to have to beat Pittsburgh or Washington to have a shot at the Cup.  And, as it stood, they couldn’t go blow for blow in a game that ends in a football score.

Now they can.

You can only lean on Parise and Zajac so much – believe me when I say, this was a huge puzzle piece for them.

By the way, if you’re in the West, you’re going  YES.  Another team to make getting out of the East that much more miserable. 

The West feels that misery, like, every year.  San Jose, Detroit, Chicago and in the past, Anaheim and even Vancouver have all taken turns rallying on each other for extended series.  By the time the Western Conference champion shows up to the final, they’re a ragtag group of replacement players, while the winner in the East has generally had one,/one-and-a-half difficult series instead of at least two.  (How about San Jose getting a just-healthy Anaheim as an eight seed last year?  Or whoever gets Detroit this year?  It’s just a deeper conference.)

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Nice work, you comment machines.  Our stick-taping conversations grabbed us a link from Uniwatch - if you’re a sports gear fiend, this blog is amazing.  The sub-heading describes it best “The Obsessive Study of Athletics Aesthetics”.  The site is amazingly well written and thorough – definitely check it out.

Some hockey-tagged postings are here (including something you Wild fans will love – a behind the scences dressing room tour of their gear).  College hockey posts are here.

I used team-colored grip tape pretty much everywhere I went, because it’s fun to make your stick pretty, and I actually liked how the product feels.  Further links to pictures are provided on the site (like to certain players Olympic sticks), but for now, here’s a sampling, taken directly from Uniwatch’s trip to the Wild’s stick room:

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Holy crap, humans.  It’s Super Bowl weekend.  Should be a doozy, so tear it up!  Zima’s for everyone! (They still make those?)

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BREAKING FRIDAY NEWS UPDATE: My cat is cute:

I guess I should get up and do something...

"ceilingfan, ceilingfan, ceilingfan..."

Can't get enough of this pic - "nombottlenommmm"

Western Conference Playoff Spots

The battle for playoff spots in the West is always a little more intriguing when some unexpected teams blow up and have good seasons, and this is one of those years.  Phoenix, Nashville and LA are all better than I expected, and I think better than the rest of the West had hoped.

So without really any ado, here’s how I see the bubble teams finishing up:

4th, Vancouver Canucks, 52 games played, 66 points

The only reason the Canucks get a blurb in the “bubble teams” section at all is their upcoming road trip.  They set an NHL record by being gone for something like six weeks, and playing 14 straight road games (Olympic preparation in Vancouver).  They’re 22-7-1 at home, but below .500 at 10-11-1 on the road this year.  If they survive the trip at .500, they’ll be in great shape.

{Only Washington, Pittsburgh and San Jose have scored more goals than the Canucks this year, and only New Jersey, Buffalo and Chicago have given up less.  Not bad, VanCity.  Not bad.}

5th, Phoenix Coyotes, 52 games played, 63 points

The ‘Yotes have played the majority of their games to date at home in the friendly confines of Jobing.com Arena (29), where they’re a dominant 19-8-2.  On the road, the Coyotes are an even 10-10-3 (23 games), sort of how your record is supposed to look.  With a third of the season left to play, they’re in position to push for a quality playoff spot.

Have you noticed a trend in the teams that are “overachieving”?  The Coyotes, Sabres, and Avalanche all have similar team builds, to some extent.  They’re fast over big, mostly young over mostly old, they’ve got great goaltending and most importantly, their top six forwards are almost all interchangeable as ”first line” guys.  Instead of the NBA method – pay one player to be your star and build around him – they all seem to be deeper teams without “that guy” to watch out for (the top two scorers from the teams I just listed are Tim Connolly and Paul Stastny, both below a point a game at 48 points in 51 games).

The Coyotes are going to make playoffs this year, but to have any hope of moving beyond a quick round one exit, they need to finish in 5th or 6th – 7th or 8th (versus San Jose or Chicago) would be hopeless.

6th, Los Angeles Kings, 51 games played, 61 points

The Kings seem fragile, don’t they?  Points are always easier to come by before Christmas, just like wins.  When Anze Kopitar has Ryan Smyth to help him out, he’s useful, but his production has seriously slowed down.  He just doesn’t seem like a guy who can get it done when his opponents key on him, they way the real elite stars can.  That says to me he’s not ready to be “the guy” on a team that needs one.  They’re good enough to win even with him struggling, so they’ll hang on to playoffs, but you certainly get the impression they aren’t headed the right direction.

7th, Nashville Predators, 51 games played, 61 points

I almost included the Preds in the group of “overachieving teams with the same build” from the Coyotes paragraph, but in the end, I didn’t think their Dan Ellis or Pekka Rinne deserved to be in the same class as Bryzgalov, Miller and Anderson.  Nashville could be the best team to miss playoffs this year… and I see it happening.

8th, Detroit Red Wings, 51 games played, 58 points

The depressing part for the teams on the wrong side of the playoff cutoff line looking in right now is, you’re not trying to catch Detroit’s 58 points, you’re looking at Nashvilles 61.  Detroit has played with half a team all year.  They’re the best coached team in the league, with some of the best names in the entire NHL in their dressing room (even with all they lost from last year).  The Canucks and Avalanche can start stressing now about which one of them is going to get unfortunately stuck in a (4) vs. (5) battle with Detroit.

9th, Calgary Flames, 52 games played, 58 points

What the hell happened to the Flames?  I feel like I fell asleep for an hour and they dropped a half-dozen spots.  Hmm.  1-8-1 in their last ten, with six straight losses.  By all logic, the Flames should be okay:  great goaltender, maybe the best defensive trio in the league, and a couple of guys up front who can score.  For me, the major difference between their offensive firepower and the teams “overacheiving” this year, is that their goal scorers aren’t young and energetic.  They don’t have that legs churning, relentless effort type threat right now – they’re scary in the “HolyCrapDon’tLetHimShootFromThereAWww.  They scored.” type of way.

10th, Anaheim Ducks, 52 games played, 55 points

This is the difference between the Eastern and Western conference.  The 10th and 11th place teams in the West are still really good (so are the Isles, but um, I just…. crap).  The problem is, they can’t all make playoffs, and Anaheim didn’t get off to a great start.  I don’t think they’re good enough to have a huge second half and make up for it.

11th, Dallas Stars, 52 games played, 55 points

I was waiting for them to end up in this spot in the conference, and here they are.  Dallas is a good team, but when teams like Phoenix and LA are good too, it toughens up their usually soft division.

12th, Minnesota Wild, 52 games played, 54 points

I don’t know a lot about Minnesota this year, and that’s not a good sign.  I do know when you’ve pinned a chunk of your offensive hopes on Chuck Kobasew and Andrew Ebbett, you’re in a whole heap of trouble (both are good enough players, but very shutdownable.  Yep, I can make up words on my blog.)  I guess their go-to guy is Havlat, I’m just not sure what else they’ve got.  I’m sure my oddly heavy Wild readership can fill me in on them, but from what I can tell, they don’t have a hockey teams chance in Phoenix snowballs chance in an oven.

13th, St. Louis Blues, 52 games played, 54 points

I’m sticking to my guns on the Blues, especially with the addition of Davis Payne.  They’ve got good top six forwards, good goaltending, and hopefully enough D to get into contention during the last few weeks.  I still think they’ll make a push.

Teams, Trophies and Tenders

Let me plug you into my ever-so-nimble Tuesday brain.

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Don't make me watch Kobasew! nooooOOO

1) I went to the Coyotes game last night, versus the Wild.  I Clockwork Oranged my eyeballs open as best as possible, but really, a 2-0 Monday night game against a piss-poor Wild team was a battle to endure.  Buuut, the Coyotes continue to look really sound defensively (Bryzgalov is ridiculous), so I’ll give my hard-done-by Coyote readership this – your boys will be looking at a tight “every point matters” six through 10 seed battle heading into the playoff push. 

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2) It’s time to change the Hart Trophy from “Most Valuable Player” to “Best Year”.   Voting for “Most Valuable” misses the point, and clouds what most of us really want to judge.

Most people are just debating who had the best season anyway – but there’s always a few people following the technicalities of the award title, which leaves people arguing about different things… which sucks crappy suckballs.  It ends up being a circular argument “yes, but without the waterboy, the guys would die of thirst, thus his value is…”  shut up.  I wonder if the NHL admits that the guy who had the best season won’t always win the award?

Also, it punishes players on good teams.  Maybe Joe Thornton scores 120 points this year, but the Sharks would still be a good squad without him, because they’re so deep.  Same with Chicago – are all their players ineligible?  Without Tavares, the Isles are probably teasing the basement again.  Maybe Matt Moulson doesn’t get a few big goals early that develop huge confidence.  Maybe John Tavares has the most value to his team.  But nobody’s giving him the Hart, are they?

Let’s just call it the “Best Year” award, and judge the best few offensive players against the best defensive and goaltenders, and give it to that guy.  Congrats.  You had the best year. 

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With greatness, you too can achieve living in Michigan and Buffalo

3) There seems to be an inordinate amount of goaltender parity in the league these days.  You gotta believe, with only 60 NHL  jobs available, NHL scouts don’t have to try too hard to find quality goaltending.  Seems like every team has at least a “pretty good” goalie.  I mean, really, teams could just rummage through another teams trash to dig up a viable tender at this point.

This is why having one of the few real top-end elite guys, like Ryan Miller, makes such a huge difference.  What’s the Sabres record this year with Chris Osgood in net? (Sorry to pick on Chris, he’s a great guy, and had a great career.  But c’mon.  He’s in the home stretch now.) 

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4) There’s a captainly duty that’s both hilarious and stressful.  I talked to a guy playing pro somewhere yesterday, and he had to go to deal with it.

"Who's calling??" "COACH?"

Lets say the boys have a day off on Sunday, and played at home that Saturday night.  The guys are going out after the game.  You’re the captain, and thus, you’re expected to communicate well with coach.  You have three missed calls from coach on Sunday morning, you’re just waking up, and it’s 11 a.m.  You’re a bit foggy.  (Coach doesn’t call to “chat”, FYI.).  Someone is in trouble.

This is the captains job – you need to put out the fire (and make sure you’re not in it) before the truth gets back to coach, so it can be dealt with by the guys, and not made into a “lock the door” team-meeting crisis.  Clearly, something has happened.  Somebody did some dirt.  Did the bar kick a bunch of teammates out?  Is it something serious, like someone got a DUI?  Or is it something funny, like guys broke into the arena and “wrote their names” in the crease? 

The hidden captain’s job: Damage control (especially in college).

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5) Some like, 19 year old dude at NYPD Pizza here in Phoenix, brought my fiance (27) her slice, put it down, and proceeded to give her a real fatherly ”there ya go sweetheart”… then walks away.

“Sweetheart” is reserved for a) A Grandfather to his grand-daughter  b) Father to daughter  c) A couple in love  or D) Trying to get punched by people who find you condescending.  He deserved a D+.  What is this, the ’50′s?  Slap her on the ass and give her a wink at least, pops.  Jeesh.

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That’s all for Tuesday kiddo’s.  Closer to my birthday (and the huge donation you’ll be giving to the blog on it).  Closer to Christmas.  And most importantly, closer to my birthday.  …Did I mention that already?

Absolutely Zero Common Thread

By the way, congrats to the World Series Champion New York Yankees.

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Anze Kopitar is killin’ it so far this year, isn’t he?  The unfortunate news for the Kings is that he can’t keep it up, strictly based on the fact that he’s on my fantasy hockey team, and that’s his jinx.  I’m sure he’ll suffer some rare injury that requires the entire removal of his frontal lobe, or he’ll contract some other selfish condition that’ll really damage my fantasy stats.

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Best picture ever:

What of it?

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I like that the Minnesota Wild logo is shaped like some sort of a cat, because it reminds me I’m not the only person who occasionally makes really bad decisions.

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I’ve realized that when I’m older, I’m going to have old-guy-eyebrows that young folk will describe as “unruly”.

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Kevin Weeks on NHL on the Fly is indescribable.  Not because he’s so good, or because he’s so bad, but because I literally can’t figure out how to describe him.  I think I like him, but he’s clearly as camera-comfortable as the Bruins offense is dangerous. (Oh, and shout-out to my boy Carey Price, the best fantasy goalie in the league… when playing the B’s).

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Big weekend for the kid.  I’m going to Ralphie May tonight:

Here would be a clip if Ralphie could put together one full minute of clean(ish) comedy for me to run.

Then ASU/USC tomorrow:

Might be fun.  I dunno.  We’ll see.

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Though I agree with New York Times hockey blogger Stu Hackel 98% of the time (some of the most comprehensive NHL coverage around, with a nice dash of opinion) we disagree on one thing -- he thought that the suspension (the rest of the season) was too long for the hit shown below.  A fair argument, but I liked the decision.  Check out Stu’s thoughts on a major league cheap shot in major junior, who knows… you may think it’s charging-with-zero-respect-for-anyone too.

I do agree with him that suspending a player for “as long as the person he injured is out for” makes zero sense.

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The kid was in critical condition in intensive care with a fractured skull after.  What’s alarming too, is that the kid who destroys him hits the next guy he sees too, which to me is a step below pulling out his bicep after and flexing.  Even worse, he has the f**king audacity to leave the game with his gloves on.  F**k me, I’m fired up thinking about it.  Congrats tough guy.

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Need a different type of violence to feel better?  Enjoy the best hair pull in the history of pulled hair:

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I found that fun, for some reason.

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I’m sure it’ll be tweet-fest ’98 from me at the ASU game -- if you don’t already follow me on Twitter, you can do so by clicking here.  Have a great weekend folks!