On The Bruins, and Game-Breakers

New Hockey Primetime: What factors into motivation aside from winning and cash? (Haven’t even finished it yet, let alone submitted. Gimme a hot sec, will ya? )

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I had a little twitter conversation with the esteemed “Haggs” (Joe Haggerty) today, the gent who covers the Bruins (and Boston sports in general) so well.  He is also kind of a fan of the Bruins, and I support that – you always get better quality work from people who care.

Well hey there, you're an affectionate lil' feller aren't ya?

He expressed the idea that the East is wide open for the Bruins to take.  He’s almost right, save for Philly.  The other top teams are plenty scary, but they all have some minor deficiencies.  I just think Philly’s team might be good enough to overcome the inexperienced goaltending.

Still, it brought me to the Bruins roster, and I gave it a good once over, in hopes of finding a hole to reply to Haggs with after he picked apart the other top contenders (Philly: “goaltending.” Tampa: “lack of playoff experience after Vinny/St.Louis.” Washington: “picking up Boston’s castoffs – Wideman, Sturm – doesn’t wow me.” Pittsburgh: “No Crosby/Malkin.”)

It was damn hard to dig up any weakness - that roster is insanely deep.  I scanned down it from the top to find the first laugher of a player, and there wasn’t one.  My eyes stopped on Adam McQuaid (Darth Quaider, apparently), which is stupid, because it turns out he’s like, first in the NHL in +/- at +27.  Hardly a “laugher,” I just hadn’t noticed him before.

Anyway, the only thing I have is this: They don’t really have a game-breaker.  And my regular readers knowwwww how I loves me some game-breakers.  Never been a fan of “scoring by committee” …which is still about ten notches behind “goaltending by committee” on the Ideas That Won’t Work list.

The reason I think a team needs at least a game-breaker or  two to win is fairly understandable: in close games, defense tightens up, they’re on high alert, and they’re trying their hardest.  There’s more clutching and grabbing, and it gets more difficult for a middle of the road scorer to beat someone one-on-one and break the game open.  Ain’t nobody sleeping.  Oftentimes, these close games just drag out until overtime or a “bad goal.”

Thing is, that you have to score bad goals to win close games is another old-school misconception.  It happens occassionally, but look – when Patrick Kane juked Kimmo Timonen to score the Stanley Cup game winning goal in overtime, that wasn’t a bad goal.  The shot itself should’ve been stopped, but I’m pretty sure there isn’t a player on Boston’s roster could have got themselves in a position to score that “bad goal” - he got the puck flat-footed on the half-wall.  He made about 55 shoulder shimmies before getting the shot off.  Big time players come through in big time moments.

Last years Cup champs: Toews and Kane.

The year before: Crosby and Malkin.

The year before: Datsyuk and Zetterberg.

Okay, that line kinda look tough to play against. Jesus.

Before that: Getzlaf and Perry.

It’s just the way the NHL playoffs go (I stopped short of Carolina who really only had Eric Staal, but the one before that is right back to Tampa with Lecavalier and St. Louis).

Now, that’s not to say the Bruins can’t or won’t win the Cup.  I’ve picked them to go to the Finals since the season began.  I really like their team.  I was just trying to find a weakness.

I’m not sure Bergeron….Lucic? is going to cut it.  Krejci?  Their team’s strength is that I could play the Bergeron and ??? game for almost the entire length of their roster (the weakness might be that I’m pretty sure Bergeron doesn’t even qualify for the type of guy I mean).  But still…Horton? Peverly?  It’s a deep team, with a nice touch of grit.  Kaberle was just the addition they needed too.

I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’: if there’s anything I feel that could catch up to them it’s their ability to score goals……I say about the team who’s 5th in the NHL in goals-per-game, after a 6-0-0 road trip, the first since the Bobby Orr era. 

(Remember, the argument isn’t that the Bruins can’t score – it’s wondering if they have a guy who can do it consistently in the big moments of playoff games, AKA a game-breaker. Think back to the year the Pens won –  Crosby single-handedly won the Conference Finals, then Malkin the Finals.)

Anyway, that’s the best I could do at poking a hole in the theory that the Bruins are going to mow over the rest of the East.  You on board with that, or is there another reason we won’t see them in the Stanley Cup Final?

{Note: please refrain from just typing the name of your favourite team without evidence or argument.}

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Happy humpday.  The wifancee is trying out Zumba today.  Thoughts?

I’ll Take Potpourri For A Thousand, Alex

Not that my blog is particularly focused in the first place, but I’m due to unload a whole crapload of half-baked thoughts.  Some may be on the same page as you, some may be a complete waste of seconds of your life, but hey – I’m pretty sure it was the variable interval schedule of rewards that got the rats coming back the most in the Skinner box, so it only makes sense.  Start hitting the lever, my pretties…. 

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My BlackBerry only allows me to send 160 characters in a text.  Hey phone, you’re not Twitter.  My archaic, older machines used to let me go long and send it in two parts, but my new one won’t?  ….At least I don’t have to use AT&T like iPhonies, I guess….

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The NHL Network did interviews with Sidney Crosby and Ryan Miller post-Olympics, and largely focused on the final goal.  I realize Ryan Miller’s head is shaped like an ice cream cone, but did we really have to sit him down and give him those few extra licks?  The guy was all over him, like the last goal was a Miller meltdown.  Hockey plays kinda happen quickly there, Tom Brokaw.

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Crosby turned down the chance to do the Top Ten on Letterman, as he has before.  My guess for “why?” is because there’s nothing more patronizing than reciting jokes about hockey written by people who have zero idea about the sport to begin with.  Okay, team, we need ten jokes involving sticks, ice and gold.  Let the hilarity begin.

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I used to chat with my mom after a close playoff game I was in, and she’d say that at times she was near a complete and utter emotional meltdown …yet I never was.  It occurred to me after the Canada/US final that Mom is right – when you care about the result of a game, it’s far easier (stress-wise) to be playing than watching.

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Let’s bring this picture into focus:  Nobody is ever allowed to say “eye-hand” in reference to “hand-eye” coordination again, okay?  Good talk.

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Commentators always give goalies shit for looking behind them like they’re shaky, which they might be.  But if it’s your goalie, aren’t you glad he’s doing it?  If he isn’t certain he has full possession, isn’t it kinda like crossing the street…. no harm in checking?  If you aren’t sure, damn straight have a glance, and sooner than later.  I don’t need a puck limping across my goal line, thanks.

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I have a petty grudge against American Olympian Ryan Suter for calling me a “bender” in college a half-dozen times, so I’d like to take this opportunity to extend a retro-active, Canadian “ha-ha” to him (said like Nelson from the Simpsons) on his crushing overtime defeat.  What’s that you say?  He’s rich, in the NHL, and an Olympic silver medalist?  Touché.

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Best backhand(s) in the NHL:  Patrick Kane, Evgeni Malkin, Henrik Zetterberg.  Come accept your awards.

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I’m stoked about The Marriage Ref, even though it has nothing to do with marriage.  Really, it’s just a topic for three really funny people to BS about.  Consider my DVR set.

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For this years trendy, surprise Stanley Cup champion pick, I predict people predicting San Jose.  Everyone knows you’re not supposed to, based on their past playoff failures.  Thus, it’s a talented team that people shouldn’t pick – the perfect formula for all us talking heads to take as a “shocker that might come true”.  The goal isn’t to be right – hell, being right in the majority might actually be worse than being wrong.  So here comes everyones attempts at “right in the minority”.  See, look what a great hockey mind I am!

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As I’m fairly tall, and somehow I shrink all my shirts up over time, I think I see how old men end up wearing their pants under their nipples.  Shirts miraculously get shorter, so the pants gotta come up to compensate.  I’m like the Hardy Boys, knocking out one mystery at a time.

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In Tiger’s apology speech, everytime he started to tear up, he put it on lock and got it together.  Isn’t that the ultimate testament to the guy’s mental ability?  To just put the kibosh on tears and re-focus?  Impressive.

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And last, if you feel like reading a real column I wrote, you can check out my thoughts on why it’s harder to score towards the end of the season, for USA Today.  I think that’s enough mind-puke for one day.  Happy Tuesday.  Not the biggest day in the sports world.  You may have spend time with your family today.  ….Ugh.

The Conn Smythe, a Plug and a Kobe

Heyyy, the Pengy’s finally won one!

The saddest part of watching them win was admitting that they just aren’t the better team.  I so badly wanted them to be.  Sigh…  But, at least there’s hope. 

I was so convinced Crosby was the Penguins Conn Smythe guy after the conference finals it was silly.  I figured, even if Malkin steps it up in a big way in the finals it wasn’t going to equal Crosby’s contributions to how far they’ve advanced.  Now, it’s looking a little dicier.

What about the Wings?  Zetterberg or Franzen?  Or… Osgood?  Back to back Zetterberg’s right?  The last time I can remember an offensive player playing defense that exceptionally was Fedorov in his heyday, also for the Red Wings.

[polldaddy poll=1675957]

On the vacation front, there’s good news in regards to our Hockey Greats Fantasy Camp this year.  Aside from having guys like Dale Hawerchuk, Bryan Trottier, Clark Gillies, Billy Smith, Cliff Ronning, Dave Semenko and many others locked up, we reached a long term agreement with the beautiful lakeside resort “The Cove” on the Westside of Kelowna BC.  The camp wouldn’t be the same without that setting, so I want to give a major thank you to them for partnering with us. 

With agreements and sponsorships, we’ve been able to cut entry down to $3000 (with sponsorship packages ranging from $150 to $20,000).  We provide the ice time, cover transportation in Kelowna, provide lots of free gear, your resort suite, a round of golf, breakfasts and appy’s, an afternoon on a houseboat and other extras. 

We’re working on bringing Trevor Linden into the fold, and next year we have Kelly Hrudey committed to hosting.  Signing up this year also affords you a discount on next years entry.  Contact me if you’re interested in being involved August 5th to the 8th in Kelowna BC at jtbourne@gmail.com – there’s actvities, accomodations and entertainment in a relaxed environment for every guest.

Sorry about the shameless plug – I just really love the event we’re running out here.

I need to mention something else before I call today over (PS, plugging that made me feel like Vince at ShamWow. “ShamWow, it’ll have ya sayin’ wow every time”).  I’m watching the Spike Lee documentary “Kobe Doin’ Work”. 

What is this guy’s deal?

It’s so awkward watching him justify every play and decision throughout the whole documentary.  It just seems so forced.  I’m not sure why I still get the vibe that the guy is insecure.  What does he want, more money, fame?  I’ve tried so hard to like the guy.  He’s A-Rod awkward.  God, what a chotch.

And lastly, my latest The Hockey News entry on slumping will be up in the next day or two.  I’ll post the link when it’s up!  Go Pens!

Cleaning Out The Attic

A mind-puke, from the grey matter of Justin Bourne.

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First, does Ovechkin have red highlights?  I find it odd that a Russian guy who has mastered the use of the minimalist punchline on the mic has stolen fashion secrets from legions of Hello-Kitty-rocking female Japanese teenagers.

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Also on Ovie, how about the time it takes him to get that mouthguard out of his mouth after he scores a goal?  I get the feeling maybe it’s like a variation of the movie Speed, where if he has it in for more than five second after a goal it detonates on his molars.

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Repetitive advice for young NHLers who think going no-visor makes such a difference that it’s worth the potential life-altering eye-damage:  Get serious.  Sid the Kid and The Great Eight wear them.  “Alfredsson, Datsyuk, Malkin and more wear them?… no - I’m Kyle Wellwood, and I need the wind slicing into my eyes when I skate.

I propose this question to the readers:  Who is currently the best non-visored player in the NHL?

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Blogs are generally negative, and I’m really trying not to follow suit.  It’s easy to sit on your couch and say everyone sucks.  So I’m looking for a positive on ‘ol Gino Malkin.

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yyyeeeeaaaaaahhhhh…

(Damnit, I did it anyways)

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Things currently thumbs-up-worthy in my book: 

Music accompanied by a piano, DVR, Jimmy Fallon, Lebron James, Cabbie on the Street, Tortarella getting all “New Yorkish” when he’s fired up, SportsCentre/SportsCenter hosts, the jersey and punch of a spectator in Happy Gilmore, and Bill Guerin apparently making Sid feel included by beaking him.

Thumbs down – wait, let me adust the system, I’m no Ebert.  We’ll call the good stuff “goals”, and the bad stuff “slapshots to the jaw”.

Slapshots to the jaw to:

The over-use of Glen “Big Baby” Davis’s nickname, recording and watching Celtics/Bulls game six with extended time – which only covered the first two overtimes, Doc Rivers, Peter Laviolette, Bob Mckenzie, hell, almost every hockey pundit, rumours of Brett Favre returning, and the constant worry about the laptop/sperm-count-correlation.

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Alright kids, that’s all I’ve got for you today.  Congrats to the Canucks fans, your boys are up 2-1.  If I hadn’t dogged them since I was a fetus, I’d celebrate with you.  My b.