Exercising Two Legs and One Finger

I’m feeling refreshed and alive today people.

Cunning up.

I finally soaked in a little vitamin D in the midst of this gorgeous Kelowna summer we’ve been having (gorgeous, just no fires allowed.  Also, no: smoking, rubbing sticks together or dragons allowed in the park).  We chucked together a surprise birthday party for one of my best friends yesterday, Dave Cunning (www.davecunning.wordpress.com).  A few of us headed out for little evening of wakeboarding, swimming and Ogopogo hunting.

It reminded me of a little hockey nugget I thought I’d share, cause this is the type of thing not all hockey fans are around to hear: 

Cunning less up.

Scott Hannan, a Kelowna resident, genuinely claimed that he stopped doing leg workouts a few summers back, because wakeboarding was his new workout.  I know it’s a leg burn, but it isn’t squatting 315 pounds 12 times.

The guy consistently showed up to skate minutes before we went out, fully equipped with his crazy long hair, uber-summer tan, and surfer-dude mentality.  Kinda strikes me as more of a “minus-five SPF-oil guy” than the “concerned-about-melanoma’s type”.

Not that I’m hear to pass judgement, but I’m not so sure his career has been heading in the right direction since I heard him say that.  But then again, maybe I should withhold criticizing his regimine.  Things have gone pret-ty decent for him over his 10 years or so in the league.

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So… I stepped on the ice for about the third time since December last night.  The good news is, I’m still a decent player.  What wasn’t great, is that I’m in roughly the same shape as John Candy was while shooting ”Uncle Buck”.  I drove home looking worse than Nick Nolte before a mug shot.  I can’t imagine playing contact hockey (which, for those of you who don’t know, is only about 80 times as tiring as non-contact). 

But still, I got thinking… “yeah… yeah… I could figure this game out again real quick-like.  I’ve been getting some calls from teams for next year, maybe I’ll just whip my ass back into shape…”

And then I took the heel-end of a stick across my mustache, and starting planning my next blog.

I especially like having to pay to play now.

Dear Hockey,

F. you too.

Love,

Bourne.

Go Away's and Hurray's

Since day one of this years playoffs, I’ve been hating on the ‘Canes.

Today will be no different.

For one, I’m in no danger of upsetting any readers because nobody outside of Raleigh-Durham likes them.  This year, they’ve taken their mediocre uni’s, players I don’t know and fans who think a red line is how you know your NASCAR engine is revving to high through Boston and New Jersey.

Impressive feats.  They’ve hurt the leagues chances at an all-original six finals.  They’ve crushed a Boston fan base who deserved some post-season success.  And worst of all?  They used to be the Hartford Whalers.  I realize it’s cool now to claim you liked the Nordiques, Whalers and Jets, but I loathed every one of those teams.

So like I was saying, congrats to the Carolina Hurricanes.

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Good on ya Red Wings.  There is more parity in hockey than baseball, basketball or football, and for the Wings to be this good for this long is a testament to their organization. 

Someone is doing something right, especially when they continue to do it with a goaltender who finished this regular season 41st in GAA, and 45th in save percentaege.  I literally had to hit “next” on the list of top 30 goaltenders to find his stats.

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So, I’ve had my first serious Obama disappointment.  After all his campaigning about eliminating the stupid “don’t ask, don’t tell” military policy, he bailed and is continuing on with it, recently letting one of the US’s mere 54 Arabic translators go.  As Jon Stewart mentioned, “near drowning 80-some people is morally justifiable for the military, but if you have a boyfriend… ho ho ho, time to go”.

“You can make ‘em talk, but you can’t make ‘em talk English.”

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I love The Roots as a band.  Always have.  Wasn’t sure what to make of them being on the Jimmy Fallon show, but now I’m sold.  They make it tick.

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What the broken bats is going on with David Ortiz?  Did he back off the “vitamin injections” with this new drug testing chaos?  Homie went 0 for 7 last night, stranding TWELVE runners in a 5-4 Sox loss.  That ain’t good.

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So, I’m a little concerned that as it gets to be summer, I’m going to hate my computer more.  I gotta golf today.  If you haven’t been to Kelowna, BC in the spring, you’re missing out.

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I think the hosts of Canada’s SportsCentre might be funnier than the US’s SportsCenter.  Unless it’s Scott Van Pelt and Kenny Mayne, in which case nobody is funnier… but the most part, I’ll give the nod to Canada.

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Okay, that’s all for today folks!  Hockey starts back up on Sunday, so in the meantime I’ll be keeping it random!  Or will I….