The Unpolished Hawks, Some Stanley Cup Rapid Fire

 

G’mornin’ friends.

Thanks for all the kind comments on the Friday entry.  The support is greatly appreciated, to say the least.

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Today’s Puck Daddy entry will be on The Conn Case for Duncan Keith, and again, I’ll link to that when it’s up.  The case is kinda easy, actually.  Here it is in one sentence “everyone else who was up for winning it has played like ground meat in the Finals.  Sincerely, Bourne.”

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Okay, it’s a rapid-fire Stanley Cup Finals blog (after one longer thought).  Chime in as necessary:

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The Hawks are leading the Stanley Cup Finals 3-2. 

Doesn’t it seem like they’re winning strictly on talent?  Most successful teams seem to have that Lidstrom person, the calming, experienced vet who’s been there before, and can get things in perspective during tense moments.  John Madden is the closest thing they’ve got, but I don’t feel like he’s a big enough part of the core for it to matter.

I dunno, I just feel like they have next-to-no Stanley Cups in their room, and are super-fortunate to be playing a Flyers team that seems to have even less of a clue what they’re doing despite Pronger’s best efforts.  I mean, how uncontrolled and sporadic are the games? 6-5, then 2-1, then a 7-4 game…. it’s like full-contact shinny, and Chicago is just straight better.  I feel like a more experienced team would be teaching those young punks (who I’m cheering for) a lesson.

There’s no Yoda, there’s no Miyagi, there’s just raw, “we’re better” skill.  Which is gonna make them even more dangerous and tough to deal with next year when they gain some of that, even after they lose a few pieces.

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How annoyed did Laviolette look at having to answer questions at the press conference yesterday?  It didn’t start that way, but it sure devolved quick.

It was like he was bothered that reporters had the gall to question anything about his team, even after giving up SEVEN GOALS in a Stanley Cup Finals game.  That’s supposed to happen in the first month of the season, so you can say “well, we’re still figuring each other out, and the systems, and….”

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Chris Pronger was MINUS FIVE.

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Speaking of press conferences, Dustin Byfuglien’s made me hate him with his last few answers last night. Devoid of personality, no honest answers, just going through the motions. 

Thanks for the generic, uninteresting insight after the biggest game of your career.

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I think it’s hilarious that Patrick Kane might win a Stanley Cup looking as awful as he does right now.  The hair, the beard, the everything is just such a mess.  It’s one of those youthful things, where he’ll look back at footage when he’s 45, put his head in his hands and go “ohh, man…. what a douche.  How did the people I love let me look that cocky and just generally awful during my biggest moment?”

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How about the NHL/NBA same-time scheduling last night?  Word is that it was entirely the NHL’s fault. 

Seems the NBA schedule was set in stone, and the NHL just chose to go head-to-head with it.  No Saturday night game, no afternoon game, just directly head to head.  What that means is, every single bar in the US (except for a few unique ones, I’m sure) had the big TV’s and sound on the NBA games.  As in, no group of friends could go out, have a pitcher and soak in the Finals like the game deserved. 

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I LOVE when guys score intentional, banked-in goals like Bolland did last night.  It’s such an underrated play. 

When you put the puck in those dangerous areas, every single object on the ice starts moving towards it…. good luck keeping it out.

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Not sure I liked the Boucher/Leighton goalie pull.  If it happens mid-period, it feels like an “okay, lets change this around” moment.  The between period pull felt like it sucked the energy from the move, for some reason… I dunno.  It seemed pointless and panicky.

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Can the Hawks finally win in the Wachovia Center tomorrow Wednesday?  I’m fully confident they can. 

The series ends tomorrow.     ….Am I right?

Marketing Villains, How Philly Can Win, John Madden

 

Happy Game Three morning, or something like that.

In yesterday’s Puck Daddy post, I elaborated on what we regularly talk about here in our comments section – sports hate.  I figured it was fitting timing, since this year’s version of the Stanley Cup Finals is made far more interesting because of it’s hateable characters. (Also, when I read what I wrote about sports hate the first time, it was barely more than a sentence, and it’s a great topic.)

But, on the heels of that column, Ms. Conduct’s blog titled “You Love Carcillo. Admit it. (though I absolutely don’t), Greg Wyshynski’s post on Chris Pronger (WITH JUST UNDER TWO THOUSAND COMMENTS), and a couple of recent tweets/thoughts about “maybe the NHL should market it’s villains”, it’s worth asking….

Should the NHL market it’s villains?

Couldn’t you see a 30-second compilation of all Pronger’s suspension-worthy offenses strung together in one NHL commercial called “Nice Guys Finish Last”, with him hoisting the Cup at the end?  And wouldn’t it set your insides to a rolling boil? 

But he’d become a more recognizable figure, and we’d love to root for him to lose.

Not sure what the answer is here (and I think the NHL would have to get permission from the player to play up his “gritty” side, but hey, most of those guys make their money playing that role, so I bet they’d be pumped to up their evil image), but I know I’d eat it up if it ever happened.

{Tangent: The end of my “For the Love of Hatred” column on Pronger snapping his stick and falling on it etc. is actually a tribute to a couple friends I used to play “worst case scenario” with before each hockey game.  Basically, it was a reverse jinx – surely if we say it, this stuff won’t happen.  The “broken stick” part actually is stolen from “today you’re going to take a face-off, your stick will snap, and you’ll fall and impale yourself on the bottom half.  Then when you skate towards medical attention, your skate is gonna catch a rut and snap your ankle.” Good times.}

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“Crushasaurus” posed this question yesterday “Game one was wide open, Philly lost. Game two was vacuum tight, Philly lost. If you’re Laviolette, what do you say?”

Philly can win if….

Philly can win if Pronger and Carle can continue to shut down the Toews/Kane line. 

They need some puck possession time.  Between Seabrook and Keith’s ability to come up with the puck in the d-zone and transition their forwards, and Hossa (and crew’s) ability to rag it at the other end, they’ve rarely had the even-strength sustained pressure to wear down Chicago’s D-corps and centers.

They benefit from a stupid, slogging, facewashing battle.  You don’t want to go run-n-gun with Chicago, so keep it more like Game Two, and hope this time it’s Darroll Powe that gets the winner, not Ben Eager. 

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I love watching a baseball “brawl” (90% of the time it’s a couple people jawing) and focusing on the stragglers loping out to the field out of obligation, when there’s already 80 people in the mix not fighting.  They’ve got warm-up jackets on, a mouth full of Spitz and just took off the “my eyes are open” glasses they were wearing for their nap.

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John Madden must have one of the best perspective’s on what it takes for a team to win a Stanley Cup.

Pretty sure he has two cups going on three, and none of them were back to back (’01, ’03, …’10?)  In that way, I would think he’d be able to connect the dots to see what make-up it takes to get it done, right?  Maybe he’d say it was having a few dominant d-men, or young, quick forwards.  Who knows.  Maybe he’d say it’s him.

But he’s been a top six guy, a bottom six guy, young, old, on a defensive-first team, an offense first team…. I just think he’d be a really great interview about the common threads amongst his Cup winning teams.

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Okay, I’m over the Tiger Woods grace period for “getting back into it”.  I need the divorce finalized, and his focus back on entertaining me.  He’s playing this weekend in the Memorial, defending his win from last year.  I don’t know him, or care to further discuss his now-obvious horrible-humanness.  Tiger, it’s time to be good again, for the sake of Sundays.

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Game Three, folks.  Thoughts, questions, statements, links….?

Game Two – Stanley Cup Finals

 

By now, I think we can all agree that Dos Equis hit an absolute grand slam with their “Most Interesting Man in the World”, didn’t they?  I mean, he still is.  They basically just stole the Chuck Norris jokes and found a guy with a wicked voice and some distinguished gray hair.  But it works.  I discovered how much I like Dos Equis Lager on draught because of him.

Isn’t it time for somebody (I’m lookin’ at you, Tecate) to counter with the Least Interesting Female in the World?  I mean, that’s a comedy gold mine.  Use Debbie Downer.

 

Ohhhh, Debbie.  So priceless.

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GAME TWO – STANLEY CUP FINALS

The Chicago Blackhawks jumped out to a 2-0 lead in the series last night, winning a (predictably) lower scoring game on the back of Antti Niemi.

I’ll break today’s thoughts into three parts.  Let’s ease into the game….

THE MEDIA

It boggles my mind that the NHL can create commercials as wonderful as “No Words” and miss so bad other times, but let’s focus on the good stuff today.  If you can make fans of your game tear up in 30 seconds, you deserve an immediate bonus (jelly of the month club!).  Kudos, NHL, for this gem I’m still enjoying.

 

Doc Emrick is awesome.  Not just his voice and knowledge of the game, but the way he can match the chaos and intensity by ramping up his own energy.  So many commentators fail to rise to the moment, but during the last two minutes of last nights game, Emrick put on a show of his own.  (BTW, I grew up on and love Bob Cole and Harry Neale, so it feels good to enjoy someone’s work here in the US)

And last – Pierre McGuire.  Again.  Poor guy takes a whole heap of abuse, but he knows a ton about the NHL and it’s players.  Wayyyy more than me (even though I may not enjoy all his work, I respect what he does).  So there has to be some reason it doesn’t work for so many viewers.  My theory - he’s like (not “is”, he’s like) those people who are so crazy smart they’re socially awkward.  Y’know, the type of people who do shit like write computer viruses?  They have skills, but they haven’t figure out how to use them for good yet.  That’s Pierre.

CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS

Through two games, Marian Hossa has been BY FAR the best Chicago Blackhawk.  He looks bigger and faster than ever before.  Everytime he’s racing someone for a puck in the corner, not only does he get to it first, he gets there with body position, extends the play, and eventually creates another shot for the Hawks.  Scoring depth is key in playoffs, and with Pronger tied up dealing with the Toews/Kane line, Chicago’s depth is sparkling.

As for Kane and Toews, they were ghosts again.  Toews has a lot of jump, but can’t figure out how to use it yet.  He will as the series goes on, but up to this point, I feel like we never see their line anywhere near the net.  I wouldn’t have known Kane was playing if I wasn’t looking for him (apparently he had three shots in the first, but nothing after that).

And as I tweeted last night, I feel like when Kane is 27 years old and back in the Stanley Cup Final we’ll hear an interview (hell, it could be next year, or tomorrow) where he says “my first couple games in the Finals I didn’t know what to expect, but now I’m more comfortable…”  He just looks super hesitant through 120 minutes.

Ben “SOMEONE CALL A CHARGE ON ME ALREADY” Eager made a perfect shot for last nights GWG. I’m not faulting Leighton on that - Eager pulled it in nicely to change the angle, used the d and hit the perfect spot.

Annnnd Niemi was unreal.  That glove save on Asham was SIIIIIICK.

 

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PHILADELPHIA FLYERS

 ”The Flyers aren’t hitting the panic button” says an NHL.com article.  Neither were the Sharks or the Canucks (no seriously, google any team “not panicking” and you can dig up some articles).  What’s a team supposed to say?

“How do you feel about your chances heading into Game Three?”

“Oh, dude. We are SO. F**ked.  I wish we could surrender like a bad blackjack hand.”

There’s nothing you can say but the “one game at a time” rhetoric, so let’s stop covering that angle.  As per an email I got this morning, Laviolette basically read the transcript Vigneault and Mclellan used:

“I don’t think we got outplayed,” said coach Peter Laviolette. “I think when you’re at the end of the night, you’re going to look at it again [and say] we probably outshot them, outchanced them a little bit and didn’t get the results we were looking for. I thought their goaltender played extremely well in the third period. We had more than enough looks to tie up that game and opportunities to get out of it. It didn’t happen. We have to go home and take a look at some things and come back. We have to win our home games.”

Switching gears now, let’s have a quick Dan Carcillo chat – this guy has a much bigger effect on the media than the actual game.  I’m with all of you, I’m entertained when he’s playing, but man, do you think Toews/Kane/Hossa and other players that matter give him a second thought?  Who’s he engaging, Tomas Kopecky?  Have at it, Mustachio.

I like that he provides energy, but guy’s who takes runs at players and “miss” do it all the time.  Really, he couldn’t clip Campbell on his first hit attempt of the game?  Methinks he’s a glass-banger cause it looks oh-so-scary.  And as for the hit on Carter….. LOVE IT.

 

Also of note – Flyers captain Mike Richards was excellent last night, and showed why I picked him as my “forward I’d most want as a teammate” from this series.  Even without scoring (one assist) he was physical, fast, and created chances.

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If Philly is gonna win a game, I think it’ll be tomorrow.  But we haven’t even seen Kane or Toews be relevant yet, and that’s not a good sign for the Flyers. 

Alright, I’m out.  White Rabbits, it’s June 1st!

“SHOOOOOOT!”

 

“SHOOOOOOOT!” yell half of the 18,000 people in attendance.

Meanwhile, at ice level, braindead bums like Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane, Marian Hossa, Brent Seabrook and Duncan Keith are moving the puck around on the powerplay, looking for an opening.

The shoot-yellers, one would think, realize that the players ears aren’t exactly tuned to listening to advice from them – so it’s worth asking: why are they yelling it?  Maybe it’s cathartic?

I guess I can see the logic of the bellowing-Bowmans (Scotty, not Stan) – when guys take big, booming slapshots through the crowd, it seems to go in like, a third of the time.  THEN JUST SHOOT IT, right?

Wrong.

There’s a reason those shots have a high success rate.  There’s a reason they aren’t shooting, so settle in and take notes – those guys are seeing something your view may not allow.

To take it from the top, NHL goaltenders are really good.  That’s some breakthrough journalism right there.

If you gave, say… Duncan Keith, 100 unscreened slapshots from the blueline, and all the leagues goaltenders rotated through to play goal one shot at a time, I’d be boggled if he scored more than twice (Toskala… was that you Toskala?  He scored didn’t he, Vesa?).

For a shot from the blueline to have any hope, you need to make the goalie move, which opens up holes.  It means he’s facing the shot without getting set.  It means he starts to lose where he is in his net, unless he stays deep in his crease (which is ideal for shooting anyways).  It tires him out so he doesn’t have the legs to get across as quickly later in the powerplay.  You gotta make that goalie move.

Then there’s the screen.  The defenseman in front has one main focus – when the puck is up high, he has to clear the man out in front so the goalie can see.  Being an NHL defenseman, he’s huge, strong, and probably angry – even guys like Holmstrom need some time to get decent body position on a guy like Chara.  You’re simply not scoring on Marty Brodeur if you don’t take his eyes away.  Just ask Sean Avery.

Then there’s the penalty killers.  They’re keeping their sticks in as many lanes as possible, to take away passes, but they know what you want to do.  They’ve been taught to attack the guy with the puck on the half-wall by coming from the top – in translation, he’s taking away the pass to the point, but letting you pass it low, where your team is less of a threat.  It takes a little time getting those guys out of position before you can make that pass. 

Even then, the weak-side forward is assigned the job of getting in the shooting lane.  So if the pass does come through the strong-side guy, the other forward is standing in the shooting lane. 

For those of you who’ve seen a short-handed goal, you know about half of them come from a bomb into the defenders shinpads, the puck going the other way, and the guy who blocked it facing forward, while the shooter isn’t.  Getting your shot blocked up high gets you kicked off the powerplay, because frankly, the guy was RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

Then the pass has to be in the wheelhouse to be able to take a one-timer.  Stopping the puck means the goalie has had time to set, the d-man has had time to move your forward, and the forward has time to get in the lane.

The low levels of anxiety and frustration that listening to people yell shoot probably isn’t helping the decision making process.

So “SHOOOT”, you say?

I say maybe just hold that thought, and let your NHL TEAM’S TOP SKILL GUYS make that call.

I dunno.  Just a thought of my own.

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If you feel like learning about a little bit more Bourne, here’s an interview I did for SB Nation.  It includes a compliment for my (mostly) funny, sharp readers!

I’ll Take Potpourri For A Thousand, Alex

 

Not that my blog is particularly focused in the first place, but I’m due to unload a whole crapload of half-baked thoughts.  Some may be on the same page as you, some may be a complete waste of seconds of your life, but hey – I’m pretty sure it was the variable interval schedule of rewards that got the rats coming back the most in the Skinner box, so it only makes sense.  Start hitting the lever, my pretties…. 

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My BlackBerry only allows me to send 160 characters in a text.  Hey phone, you’re not Twitter.  My archaic, older machines used to let me go long and send it in two parts, but my new one won’t?  ….At least I don’t have to use AT&T like iPhonies, I guess….

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The NHL Network did interviews with Sidney Crosby and Ryan Miller post-Olympics, and largely focused on the final goal.  I realize Ryan Miller’s head is shaped like an ice cream cone, but did we really have to sit him down and give him those few extra licks?  The guy was all over him, like the last goal was a Miller meltdown.  Hockey plays kinda happen quickly there, Tom Brokaw.

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Crosby turned down the chance to do the Top Ten on Letterman, as he has before.  My guess for “why?” is because there’s nothing more patronizing than reciting jokes about hockey written by people who have zero idea about the sport to begin with.  Okay, team, we need ten jokes involving sticks, ice and gold.  Let the hilarity begin.

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I used to chat with my mom after a close playoff game I was in, and she’d say that at times she was near a complete and utter emotional meltdown …yet I never was.  It occurred to me after the Canada/US final that Mom is right – when you care about the result of a game, it’s far easier (stress-wise) to be playing than watching.

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Let’s bring this picture into focus:  Nobody is ever allowed to say “eye-hand” in reference to “hand-eye” coordination again, okay?  Good talk.

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Commentators always give goalies shit for looking behind them like they’re shaky, which they might be.  But if it’s your goalie, aren’t you glad he’s doing it?  If he isn’t certain he has full possession, isn’t it kinda like crossing the street…. no harm in checking?  If you aren’t sure, damn straight have a glance, and sooner than later.  I don’t need a puck limping across my goal line, thanks.

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I have a petty grudge against American Olympian Ryan Suter for calling me a “bender” in college a half-dozen times, so I’d like to take this opportunity to extend a retro-active, Canadian “ha-ha” to him (said like Nelson from the Simpsons) on his crushing overtime defeat.  What’s that you say?  He’s rich, in the NHL, and an Olympic silver medalist?  Touché.

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Best backhand(s) in the NHL:  Patrick Kane, Evgeni Malkin, Henrik Zetterberg.  Come accept your awards.

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I’m stoked about The Marriage Ref, even though it has nothing to do with marriage.  Really, it’s just a topic for three really funny people to BS about.  Consider my DVR set.

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For this years trendy, surprise Stanley Cup champion pick, I predict people predicting San Jose.  Everyone knows you’re not supposed to, based on their past playoff failures.  Thus, it’s a talented team that people shouldn’t pick – the perfect formula for all us talking heads to take as a “shocker that might come true”.  The goal isn’t to be right – hell, being right in the majority might actually be worse than being wrong.  So here comes everyones attempts at “right in the minority”.  See, look what a great hockey mind I am!

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As I’m fairly tall, and somehow I shrink all my shirts up over time, I think I see how old men end up wearing their pants under their nipples.  Shirts miraculously get shorter, so the pants gotta come up to compensate.  I’m like the Hardy Boys, knocking out one mystery at a time.

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In Tiger’s apology speech, everytime he started to tear up, he put it on lock and got it together.  Isn’t that the ultimate testament to the guy’s mental ability?  To just put the kibosh on tears and re-focus?  Impressive.

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And last, if you feel like reading a real column I wrote, you can check out my thoughts on why it’s harder to score towards the end of the season, for USA Today.  I think that’s enough mind-puke for one day.  Happy Tuesday.  Not the biggest day in the sports world.  You may have spend time with your family today.  ….Ugh.

Video Blog – NHL Predictions

 

Every few days leading up to the NHL season, I’m gonna run a video blog with a couple predictions for the season.

This is my first crack at it, so cut me a little slack.  To make it easier, I’ve made the first two predictions my “safe” ones.  It’ll be harder when I start trying to defend predictions like “The Vancouver Canucks will struggle in the regular season, but have a great playoff run”.

Oh, and one other thing before the vid -- I went to the Coyotes/Kings game last night and have a crazy long list of things to write about today, so look for that in the next day or two.  Unfortunately, I won’t be linking to what I promised yesterday (my take on the Coyotes sitch) because (thankfully) the Arizona Republic bought the article to run in their NHL/Coyotes preview piece in a couple weeks.

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(By the way -- thanks to those of you who’ve made it so I don’t have to charge for “premium content” or anything of the sort by donating a couple bucks to the cause.  Makes the time put in easier to justify!)