A Bunch Of Ramblings: Fantasy Hockey, Finishing Your Check

 

New USA Today: asking the question “is finishing your check (especially in playoffs) actually the right thing to do?”

******

Masters Masters Masters Masters Mastersssssss Week!

My post from 2009, Why I Love The Masters or, if you prefer an actual golf writer who’s actually good at writing about golf, read Shane Bacon’s post from today).  Between playoff races and the Masters starting up, the blog should be on point this week.  Also, I still haven’t bought a new car since the wreck, and my parents are in town, meaning they stole back their car, soooo….. I’m confined to the house.

Hey, shut-in blogging, it’s how this whole thing started.  Come along for the ride.

*****

I’ve put in a request with Easton for a prize to run through Bourne’s Blog.  I want to do a contest during playoffs….. I’m just not sure what yet.

I’ll be taking suggestions on the contest today, announcing the prize sometime this week, and finalizing the contest around that same time.

I’m thinking you make your pick for the Cup on the day I finalize it (in the comments), then we have a tiebreaker between all the people who took the same team.  Perhaps a Conn Smythe choice, perhaps a playoff-leading scorer…. what do you think?

*****

So, I’m in week two of getting a little better ergodynamic set-up to type (my lovely mother bought me an office chair), and my carpal tunnel thing has already pretty much packed it’s bag and started apologizing.  Amazing, who’d have thought sitting on the couch wouldn’t be the ideal set-up for writing?

*****

As you know if you follow me on twitter, I made the finals of my own fantasy hockey league for the second straight year (it’s only been around two years).  Last year I lost in the finals….and lost a bottle of crown royal (a debt I’ve still yet to pay. It was financial at the time, and laziness since.  I better get on that).

Anyway, here’s the “issue,” you fantasy hockey studs.  My league allows a maximum of five pick-ups per week, which is fun – it allows for lots of player movement and decision-making.  Thing is, in a 16 team league, there’s not really anyone decent to pick up, so I rarely made a move – a mere 16 over 24 weeks.

After Saturday night, I was narrowly losing my semi-final match.  I had all three categories of goalie stats (and assists) locked up, but was losing pretty much everywhere else, putting me down 6-4-2.  I hadn’t made a single move all week, so I made what I consider to be the equivalent of the desperation, pull-the-goalie style move.

I added four players who played on Sunday – I figured anyone is better than no one.  Given that I already had three guys going, I suddenly had a near-full line-up compared to my opponent.  It literally came down to me needing four shots between Matt Duchene and Erik Johnson in the last game of the day to get in, otherwise, no soup.

I got four shots exactly, and celebrated with vigour, as Bri would attest.

I could not be more proud of this maneuver, and figure since it’s within the rules, it’s within the rules. 

Fair or unfair of me?  Keep in mind, I now have four dogs on my team going into the finals, and the guy I’m playing picked up two of the good players I dropped today, so…. I’m hooped.  Still, second is better than third.

*****

There’s a couple great playoff races going on right now, and two big games will be played out tonight.  I watched more hockey this weekend than I have in ages (thanks to Bri working on a Saturday, than going to some dance performance.  I drank six Hoegaarden’s and tweeted.  Yay!)

Thought I came away with: I’m looking forward to seeing the Maple Leafs, Islanders and Devils next year – all three look to be a whole hell of a lot better.  Only problem with that is, when you all get better….. are you any farther ahead?  Love to see the Isles and Leafs crack playoffs.

*****

This is a fun week – the start of the best sports weeks of the year.  Get involved, get excited.

Ilya Kovalchuk… An Islander?

 

My apologies on not getting a blog up this morning – I opted to cover the Frenz Frenzgency Frenerama in column form, and that takes an idiot like me a little longer.

My take on the possibility of Ilya Kovalchuk signing with the New York Islanders:

It’s interesting, in the wake of my week-long defense of Ilya Kovalchuk, that he might become the co-centerpiece of my favourite team (ahhh, in reality, Tavares is still the real cornerstone, even with the Ilyaddition.  ‘member when Rick DiPietro was supposed to be that guy?). 

The first thing the detractors will say is that the Isles overpaid for him.  Of course.  

I’ve been thinking this for weeks, and this is finally the right time to talk about it:  if a team doesn’t have cap issues, and isn’t anywhere near the ceiling (and nor do they intend to get anywhere near it)…. why do fans care about how a team operates it’s payroll?  Why be worried about running the books for Snow and Wang, or any other team with muchos space?  As fans, we’re supposed to enjoy the product on the ice, not the accounting front office part (y’know, until one kills the other *coughHawkscough*, then it’s relevant).

Okay, he wouldn’t be a bargain, but neither is a Bentley.  But people still buy Bentley’s, because they’re awesome, and those people can afford them.  (Of course, there are teams like - again – the Blackhawks, who had a garage full of beautiful cars when they picked up the Bentley Hossa, and had to get rid of other cars to make room for that one.  Again, THEN as a fan you’re justified for tuning in)

The simple reality, if it were to happen, would be this:

Here was their roster.  *shows without Ilya

Here’s their roster now.  *shows with Ilya

The second one is better, and they can afford him.  Who could be unhappy with that?

Young Islander fans could have someone exciting to go watch, and have reason to attach themselves to the team again.  I swear to god there’s people in Nassau Coliseum who think Sean Bergenheim is an enjoyable player to watch.  Entertainment value would go up (along with jersey sales, and even ticket sales to some extent).

Hypocrite paragraph:  I do worry about the length of the deal.  You really get murdered when you pay a fortune for a mid-career guy who’s success relies heavily on his quickness.  When he loses half a step at 33, and a whole one at 35, his massive paycheck could be a definite hinderence, so I’m praying there’s a nice tail on the end of whatever deal he signs (there won’t be much of one, I would bet).

But, again, that’s all business talk, and I just railed about not needing it until problems arise.  So hockey talk:

I DON’T think that Ilya Kovalchuk is going to suddenly make the Islanders a premier team.  The d-corps is still too weak, and the forwards depth is still too shallow.  But I DO think he probably adds four or five wins to the Islanders total, which could be what they need to get back into the playoffs.  It helps just having a guy on the team who can draw attention, finish his opportunities, and create space for others by making D back off him when he’s attacking.

I haven’t even had time to really think about the whole thing, but I just wanted to get some thoughts down tonight. 

What do you think?  “Weeeeee!”, right?

Isles Get Thumped In 3D, But Moulson’s Hair Is A Win

 

A few blogs back I asked the question “I wonder which team has played (against) the most back-up goaltenders this year?”  I figured there’d be some correlation between that stat and the standings.  Well, our friend Wychwood crunched the numbers for us.  Check out the answer (bottom comment) here.

*****

Last nights 5-0 Islanders loss at the hands of the Rangers was broadcast in 3-D, as I hear a lot of sporting events plan to be in the near future.  I don’t even get what that means…. do you have to wear glasses?  Have a special kind of TV?  See it at an IMAX?

Whatever steps you need to take to make it work, thank god I didn’t take them last night.  5-zip in the Garden?  At least us Isles fans got this far without having to wish for next year.  Time to bring out the old 4-0-1 forecheck, entertain the fans and lose every game, methinks.

*****

Player insight: y’know what’s horribly frustrating?  Taking a good, long run at a guy – usually a defenseman – trying to pound him into the glass, but the guy gets pressed up against the boards so not only is there no loud sound, but you bounce off him the other direction like a trampoline.  That’s really frustrating.

*****

It’s hard to tell if a guy is a good coach when he’s got Washington’s roster.  Or the ones Al Arbour had.  Or some of Scotty Bowman’s, Phil Jackson’s ….guys like that who’ve had stacked teams.

There’s something to be said for recognizing you have the most talent, and generally backing off to let them do their thing.  You stay valuable by being less involved, and letting the talent flourish organically.  You know a guy like Tortorella could never coach a team like the Capitals, cause he wants to do too much.  At the same time, we never really got to see Bowman/Arbour/whoever make chicken salad out of chicken s**t, because their rosters were already chicken salad…. weren’t they?

Anyways, that was a bit of a detour to get to “I wonder if Bruce Boudreau is a good coach?”  I’ma text college teammate Jay Beagle who’s got some games with Washington and try and get an answer for us.

*****

You know those young kid hockey players that are so cocky that you wanna break their $200 Synergies over their skinny little necks?  Like, by the age of 12?  Some of them are so crazy good that it’s hard to put them in their place.

Well, my theory is that those kids (as hockey players go) have a huge advantage.  Guys like myself, or my buddy Charlie Kronschnabel (Syracuse) weren’t exactly thrillers at a young age.  We were good and got better - we worked on the game until we were valuable enough players, but we were never the best player in our towns growing up.  There’s still bits of doubt coming from that.

Those cocky little bastards have the advantage because hockey takes a crazy amount of “f**k-I’m-good” to have the puck with your head up, move and think quickly, but stay relaxed.  When you see guys make a play in the NHL and think “I wouldn’t even try that in rec league”, it’s a good chance that dude’s still got a healthy amount of “f**k-I’m-good” in him.

*****

Can I get a ruling on Matt Moulson’s hair?  I mean, I myself was once a proponent for “hockey hair”, but homey’s kinda taken it next level on me:

Actually…….. actually, it’s sick.  I just made up my mind without your help.  Either way, I’ll leave the picture there for you to enjoy.

*****

In looking for a long-hair pic of my own, I came across one that touches yesterday’s visor topic as well (full length article on that in THN next week).  In college, I would come home for summer hockey visor-less, and take my cage off.  My mom, being the ever-intelligent woman that she is, protested constantly.  She offered to buy a visor, if I’d just wear one.  I agreed.

I took the visor money and went to the sports store I worked at.  With my employee discount, I noticed that if I got the crappier visor, I could buy that basketball I wanted too.  So, I did.

The problem was, the crappy visor looked crappy.  So, before I went out to use it, I took it off my helmet with a dime from my pocket, intending to go get the good one before next time out.  Here’s the resulting picture, courtesy a Mike Ridley (the ex-NHL one) snapshot in shinny, demonstrating both my slightly longer hair (it got real bad at one point), my need to be in a Rocky movie, and the fact that NOT WEARING A VISOR IS DUMB:

 

 

 

Happy Thursday.  Take some time to enjoy your unshattered face. 

 

I’m 6’3″, 200, I Swear

 

Here’s a comment/question from reader Far North:  

“A player who was listed as 6’3″, 200 pounds on last year’s college roster  is listed as 6’2,” 175 pounds by his new NHL team.  I’ve stood next to enough college players to think that the roster stats are often optimistic.  Does this continue at the higher levels?  Are NHL teams required to report those things accurately?”

The craziest thing about height measurement, in my experience, is that there’s no uniform, standard procedure for doing it, even in the NHL.  It’s like a slightly upgraded version of a mom putting notches on the wall as her kid grows.

My favourite year was the one in college where they measured us using the advanced clipboard-on-head method, followed by the measuring of that mark.  The guy taking the measurements that particular year was all of about 5’8″, so all the clipboards had a nice uphill slant to them.  I literally had to call the athletic administration to tell them not to list me at 6’3″, because I figured scouts would notice I wasn’t, and label me full-of-shit before I even had the chance to prove them right (I’m 6’1 and a half, but was always listed at 6’2″). 

But every year, in a split second, your height and weight were both measured and permanent, to be splashed on a dozen websites, in programs, on scouting reports, wherever.  All the guys tried to drink about a gallon of water (literally) the morning of the weigh-in, as to appear more muscle-dense.  I actually played with a defensemen who was drafted that was told to “beef up” in the off-season, so he literally had two 2.5 pound weights hidden on him for weigh-in (they didn’t make us strip down in college like they do in pro either, which is nice - wearing jeans tacks on at least a pair of crucial l.b.’s).

It’s probably just the lack of thorough measuring in college that leads to the misrepresentation of height and weight.  They want the guys to look bigger to increase their chances of moving on too, as it looks good on the program.  Once you’re in the NHL, there’s no advantage in lying about your size – results are finally what matters, not potential, so you tend to see a more honest representation of size (even though there are in fact no rules governing truth in advertising).

But sure enough, at Islander camp, in Hershey, wherever;  you simply took your shoes off and stood against a wall with heights on it.  I always managed to get my heels just that half-inch of the floor to make the 6’2″ mark.  Nobody cared (MLIA).

*****

 There’s only one other thing I want to write about for today, and it’s of crucial importance to me.  I have a neat opportunity to contribute to the USA Today’s online hockey section, so starting today, I’m writing an occasional blog (every week or so) on a profile there.  If all goes well, it could be a great thing for the other sites I write for as well, bringing more credibility to what I do, while helping increase readership.

Basically, it would be in my best interest if the blog did well there, so please, if you’re an avid Bourne’s Blog reader, click THIS LINK and feel free to contribute a positive comment or two.  The article is a more current re-packaging of my piece  ”A Love-Hate Relationship With Hockey” , and has a link on the main USA Today hockey page, www.nhl.usatoday.com (thanks to those of you who commented already – minor technical difficulties at USA Today have meant I’ve had to re-post the article, and lose the early comments).  Turns out there is hope in this writing world…

Topic Tourette's

 

This “having a life” thing is making finding blog time more difficult, and I miss it.  I don’t however, miss being unable to eat or talk, so I guess you win some you lose some.  Here’s today’s brain overflow:

Veggie Tray:  The obvious solution to the snack-fattery that has been my face.  Where was that recommendation, people?  Exercise?  You’re no help.

My fellow ESPN viewers:  Who the hell is this beady-eyed egghead John Clayton, and why do we let him speak about football?  I’m fairly certain he was last picked in flag football, never picked for a prom date, and picked as most-likely-to-drop-any-object-thrown-to-him, just now by me.  Don’t you need some sports playing background to gain a little credibility?  Like, even wallyball?  I want Chris Berman to go high-school-bully on this guy, bonk him on the head and take his lunch money.

Two things I enjoyed yesterday:  Sauntering around downtown yesterday, Bri and I passed three outdoor skating rinks (Rockefeller Center, South Street Seaport, and Central Park, below).  I’ve come up with a great idea for American’s who are sick of getting beat by Canada at hockey: GIVE THOSE KIDS STICKS.  Man.  They’re out there going NASCAR on that sheet of ice anyways, chuck em some lumber and make use of those horse apples in Central Park.

Other neat sight:  It seems a hundred years ago when people paid tribute to God, they did it in the largest, scariest,  most awe-inspiring way possible (don’t skip on the grandeur).  I can’t fathom the time, effort and money that must have gone into some of the intense rockwork, sculptures and stained glass windows.  I fail to see the connection between gargoyles and God, but then, I blog about puppies and snuggies, so I’m gonna let a topic like that pass.  St. Pat’s Cathedral, taken by Bri:

Why isn’t the E-Trade baby getting old yet (not literally)?  He just keeps hitting home runs:

Great quote: “I’ll tell you what I like about Chinese people.  They’re hanging in there with the chopsticks, aren’t they? You know they’ve seen the fork.  They’re staying with the sticks.  I don’t know how they missed it.  Chinese farmer gets up, works in the field with a shovel all day… Shovel.  Spoon.  Come on.  You’re not plowing 40 acres with a couple of pool cues.”       – A classic Jerry Seinfeld gem

For those of you cheering for the Isles to lose so you can get the number one overall pick:  Stop it, you’re killing us.  You know how this stuff works.  You root for them to lose, they’ll win.  Every game for the rest of the year, they will win.  We’ll end up picking Hachminev Albastor from Lithuania in the 44th round if you keep this up.  Cheer for your team like a good fan, and things will take care of themselves.

Fact:  Bri found the first two gray hairs of my life.  Nothing turns chicks on like the overlapping years of gray hair and acne.  Double threat guy…

That’ll be all today!  My seven-part series on the life off a hockey player is underway, and will run on Max Hockey.com, a piece at a time over the next month or so.  I’m open to suggestions for my next blog on The Hockey News.com if you have something you’d like to read about.  I have a planner full of ideas, and just need to pick the right one.  So I’d love more ideas, or simply your input:

[polldaddy poll=1460421]

Islanders-Based Hockey Musings

 

Next year is going to be a great year for Kyle Okposo.  The kid is going to finish this season with 15-20 goals on the worst team in the league as a rookie.  If he has a couple linemates, I think he could be an NHL All-Star team hopeful in his second season.

They’re thinking about sending him to Bridgeport for AHL playoffs which seems a little ridiculous to me.  I do think it could help him (especially in the confidence department), but the risks are too big.  Playoffs are crazy intense at every level, and he would log a ton of minutes.  This puts a kid that the Islanders are calling the future face of their organization in harms way for vicious hockey. 

Even though he’d have the summer to heal if he got hurt, some injuries can nag throughout entire careers.  Why risk it with a kid that the team is so invested in, when the team he’d be laying his heart on the line for isn’t even the Islanders?  As a favor to a team that’s given so much to them, maybe?  Injuries happen when players relax and don’t have to try their hardest.  Hopefully this isn’t the case, Kyle’s future is bright on Long Island. 

Also, isn’t there some sort of ethical logic in not allowing a full-season NHLer to play in the American League playoffs?  Great, there’s a loophole, but does that mean you should use it for something you’re not even so sure will be a positive thing for our player?  Of course he’s saying he’d do it and enjoy it, what choice does he have?  They have him under contract, so they can send him to Paraguay if they think it would help.  He’s being a great guy about it as usual, but in the end, he has to go.  That doesn’t mean he actually wants to.

And what if he doesn’t succeed down there?  Maybe he gets shadowed and frustrated, plays with less-talented players who can’t make the plays he needs them to make?  That wouldn’t be so great for confidence.  Maybe there’s some mucker who knows he’s not NHL bound that tries to get famous by taking him out.  Maybe he ends up resenting the organization for sending him to the AHL when he considers himself (as he should) a legitimate NHL star.

Chances are he’d go down there, play great, feel good about things and come back.  It’s not really a huge issue that I’m super-passionate about, it just seems so unnecessary after all his great development.  It’s almost a slap in the face to the kid who worked so hard all year, so I’m hoping it doesn’t come to a playoff send-down.  The risk-reward doesn’t match up in my head.

 

How about the Guerin to Crosby goal last night?  Two on One, Billy skated into there’s-no-way-he-won’t-shoot-from-there-land, and snapped it over to Sid who snapped it in the net, perfect execution.  Who you play with really does affect your yearly totals, gotta believe Guerin made a few of those plays on the Island that ended in missed nets.

And how spoiled are Capitals fans?  I know nobody has said that until recent years, but man, their team is like the Harlem Globetrotters.  And don’t you love that Crosby and Ovi-Wan Kenobi don’t get along?  It’s such great theatre for the NHL.  Plus, neither of them is ignorant in what they’re saying about the other guy.  Crosby doesn’t like Ovi’s goal celly’s (as the purists don’t) and Ovi thinks Crosby whines (he does, but he also takes a freakin’ lickin’ out there).  I bet in their last season they make up and get married, like some Friends-esque sitcom.

 

Trent Hunter broke his ankle?  Does the average years of NHL experience on the Islanders even start with a one anymore, or has it dipped below?  What I do like, especially around Long Island, is how people talk about the team.  It’s not like a Nashville or Atlanta, people talk about them in real terms, and take them seriously as an NHL franchise.  The Islanders, in dead last, are not a joke.  People want to see them stay here, and be successful.  Soon.

And how in Freddie Macs name are the Islanders above the salary floor, who are they paying?  Honestly.  DiPietro, there’s four point whatever he makes.  Streit probably does okay.  I’m curious about the Enron accounting there, I can’t think of anybody else that makes two million dollars; they have 25 players or so, and a ton have to be around a million bucks or less.  How they get to $40.7 is beyond me.  I’m sure they are, it’s not like they haven’t thought of this, but when Comrie, Guerin and Campoli left for Mcammond they must have dropped the payroll by a sackful.

 

On the hockey theme, I’ll be a guest at Islanders Point Blank night Tuesday at Gabrielle’s, doing an interview with host Chris Botta between periods.  I look forward to seeing some of you there!

Simply Opinions

 

My immediate reaction to Tom Daschle withdrawing his nomination for head of US health was frustration.  I felt like media scrutiny in the US had forced the administration to eliminate the most qualified candidate.  Everybody seemed pretty excited about health care reform, and they had the perfect guy for the job.  Well, good.

But the more I think about it…. taxes?  You didn’t pay your taxes?  Whatever the figure was (I think it was around a whopping $128,000), it was owed “over a period of years”.  I have to believe as a government employee taxes is a topic that comes up on occasion.  And, you know you need to have them square if you hope to achieve higher office.  Both Daschle and Geithner, when made aware of their tax debts, just paid the balance off like it was a late cell phone bill.  It drives me nuts that the US could possibly have a less successful health policy because 1 guy is smart enough to make the right changes, yet dumb enough to try to shirk tax payments.  Straighten up.

While I’m stringing people up for being fools, let’s hang Clemens.  Roger Clemens at age 40 looked like a billboard throwing a golf ball.  Okay, you did steroids, fine.  Everything about his career was hall-of-fame, and so he was placed on the appropriate pedestal.  When he sat at home and watched Sammy “Rosetta Stone”  Sosa and Pierre Mark McGuire forget English and commit perjury respectively, he must have been just. so. happy. it wasn’t him.  So when things unfolded for him, you would think he’d have learned something.

Roger was too attached to his stats and fame to place his future and family first.  Had he just come out and said “I did steroids” when this all started, he would have faced minor punishment, and a tarnished image.  Hell, when Clemens started doing the drugs there wasn’t a policy in baseball against it, who could blame him for keeping up with the (Chipper) Jonses? 

Now Roger Clemens has commited perjury too, and could potentially see jail time.  His family must really appreciate his priorities.  It’s embarrassing watching a legend lie, like a child caught crayon-in-hand against the wall saying they didn’t do it.  And sidenote: what kind of life were these guys living?  Their wives were comparing implants at a party?  Nothing like a dose of reality when that reality is 1 hour sunshine time once a day.  At least he’s really strong.

On the sports theme, I intend to write an article about my time at Islanders main camp some day.  From my experiences, the players who have achieved actual success in the NHL are ones who are the least prone to point out their talents.  Older players like Bill Guerin and Doug Weight may be a constant topic of forum debate for fans (are they worth the money), but the quick answer is that they’ve earned it.  Bill Guerin is your old-school, ultra classy player, who commands respect and gives it back.  The Islanders are heavy on super-young talent, and having a guy like Guerin there to teach them, if nothing else, is worth his salary and more.