And For His Next Act, Dorsett Slips On A Banana Peel
And now, your bi-daily violent hit review -- the hit-from-behind on Columbus player Derek Dorsett, courtesy James Neal.
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First, thanks to Bob Mckenzie for the review of “I think there’s a chance there could be a suspension here”. Let’s continue discussing while we scour the ice for the rest of Dorsett’s frontal lobe.
Second, WEAR A FUCKING VISOR, Derek.
Third, okay, the hit is horrible. Dorsett is really really hurt. We need to stop this stuff. ….But that was funny, right? I mean, wasn’t it exactly how a vaudeville actor would have played “getting knocked unconscious?” Or like, in a pre-teeny-after-school-special type show? Right over backwards, arms out wide? Okay, okay, you’re right, it was brutal. ….Ohscrewyou, that was funny.
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Pre-season this year, I predicted the St. Louis Blues to be a sneak-into-playoffs type team, then they got off to a real crap start. Then, I predicted the Coyotes to get off to a real crap start, and they came out looking like a sneak-into-playoffs type team (or Stanley Cup winner, depending on who you ask).

He shoots, he's old!
Though I’ve backed off on the Coyote bashing, I’ll take this chance to re-affirm my stance that the Blues are good. With their goaltending, and depth at forwards, their ship has to turn around eventually. And if not, I’ll start blaming totally arbitrary things like their schedule, or being stuck in a tough division with Nashville and Columbus.
I also predicted Chicago to win the Presidents trophy. I’m not far off on that one, but I may have overlooked the fact that the Capitals division -- Atlanta, Tampa Bay, Carolina and Florida is the most nauseatingly poor grouping of teams since the WNBA (ahhh, felt good to get another shot in. Been awhile).
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You can say what you like about last nights Toronto/Carolina game -- battle for the basement, two teams who can’t hold a lead, whatever… but for fans buying a ticket to a hockey game, that was epic.
Not many fans out there appreciate the nuances of a fine goaltending duel - but they all love what they saw out there last night. Props to those who stayed to watch the last 30 seconds after the ‘Canes did their best to puke the game away in the last minute. No, no… not props. Big ups. I’m switching to using “big ups” more. Big ups to ‘Canes fans.
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Stan, the very very Jewish man.
Everyone who had the Devils leading their division (vs. Philly, Pitt, the Rangers and… my Isles) raise their hand. Liars. Put your hand down.
On the topic of the Devils, I put in a call to my buddy Stan Fischler yesterday -- “The Maven” as he’s affectionately known, deserves at least a whole post, and I will get to that. For now, I want to do two things -- One, thank him for applying to get me NHL credentials (I’ll occassionally submit pieces on the Coyotes for his newsletter, in exchange), and two, plug his new book Who’s Better: Rangers, Devils, Islanders or the Flyers? (Hint: it’s not the Rangers)
It’s a full comparison of each team’s history, everything from goaltending to tough guys to best Cup-winning team. Oh, and I wrote the story of Dad’s end-to-end rush against the Rangers for Stan. So, you know… that was sorta cool.
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Have a great weekend folks. Oh, and watch this. I legitimately “lol’ed”:
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I'm a hockey player turned writer. After playing for Alaska Anchorage in the WCHA (NCAA), I carried on with a NHL tryout (New York Islanders in 2007) before spending a couple seasons in the AHL/ECHL. My father, Bob Bourne, won four Stanley Cups with the Islanders in the '80's, as did my fiancee's dad, Clark Gillies. I'm now a columnist for USA Today, Puck Daddy (Y!) and Hockey Primetime.com.