Caps Goaltending, Modano, and Quality Sportswriting

It’s that time of year – NHL news is at a minimum, and summer fun is at a maximum.  Although, I live in Phoenix, so it’s “winter” here (you don’t go outside for very long if you can avoid it).  I will say this about the heat though – it’s not as bad as people say. 

It was supposedly 115 here last Saturday, and we spent four middle-of-the-day hours floating on tubes down Salt River.  We still sit by the pool periodically.  Basically, if water is involved, you can make it work.

Anyway, the point is that there isn’t much to discuss around the NHL.  I, for one, care zero percent about prospect camps.  I mean, literally, zero.  So, until something relevant comes up (Kovy signing!), lets BS about random, puck-based stuff.

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It's not that he's bad, it's that you're too close to a Cup to accept anything but great.

So, the Flyers Capitals are really going through with the whole “nah, we’re good on a goalie” thing?  To those fans who keep saying Varlamov will get better and will be able to get it done, I ask you – why are you okay with rebuilding at one position?  Do it everywhere or nowhere.  The rest of your team is ready now.  Actually, it’s been ready for two years, both of which you’ve squandered by accepting mediocrity in net. 

Fine, Varlamov is going to be great some day.  So let him back up til that day.  Or trade the potential he (or Neuvirth) has for a decent defender, and sign one of the million quality goaltenders looking for work.  Y’know, so you can try and win that Cup thingy.  This team is ready, if they’d just adresss their very few weaknesses.  If you don’t, you risk becoming the Flyers.

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Do you want Mike Modano to come to your team?  As in, a guy playing the role of third line checker with a goal scorer’s body and a good amount of gray in his beard?  Probably not right?  Yet for some reason, I can see it working under Babcock in Detroit.  And only there.

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Follow this link to read borderline NHLer Paul Bissonette’s hilarious (though somewhat offensive) tweet-binge about how women aren’t as funny as men.  Or as smart.

The tweets remind me of being in a locker room, so you may enjoy them.  Raw stuff.  Feel free to poke around that site too, it belongs to friend of the blog, Callum McCarthy.

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He's got a pretty good life goin...

SPORTS WRITING: As many of you are aware, my favourite sportswriter is Bill Simmons (though, oddly, that’s been waning a bit of late – undoubtedly something to do with him just making podcasts and retro-diaries, AKA lazy stuff).  It’s hard to write 5,000-8,000 words coherently, and this guy composes clear arguments that seem to span the length of entire books.  Unfortunately, Bill rarely covers hockey.

Between Simmons and my favourite hockey writer is a guy who acts as a nice segueway for me here, Bruce Arthur.  I’m a new reader and twitter follower, but from what I’ve taken in thus far, he’s kinda half-hockey half-basketball.  There’s some clever bite in his writing, and the guy seems like a good thinker.

And, as I’ve also mentioned before, my colleague (and general superior) Greg Wyshynski makes the grade as my favourite hockey writer.  Of course, I’m far too involved in hockey to agree with everything anyone says (like I do with Simmons on basketball), but 96.75% of the time, I can get on Greg’s page.  He’s fair, funny, knows WAY too much about players, teams and history, and writes well.  Best of all, he doesn’t take the sport too seriously, like, say, every single writer from the Toronto area.

Today’s post on free agency is great, and includes a line from agents (about their players) that Islanders fans can choke on: “The money was pretty much the same everywhere. Guys were just deciding on where they wanted to play the most,” said one agent.  Hey Isles, nobody’s choosing you for your low house prices and Cup-winning potential.  Might have to go a bit above and beyond matching offers these days.

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I’m convinced Steve Yzerman is gonna be a rockin’ GM.  The Teddy Purcell signing was a nice way to get a good player in on a low salary, something he’s going to have to do since three of his players make something like a combined $25 million.

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The Hockey Greats Fantasy Camp is almost full.  We’re down to about a half-dozen available spots – email me at jtbourne@gmail.com if you’d like to inquire… it’s a once-in-a-lifetime summer vacation.  And when I say that, I don’t just do it as a pitch – I never try to sell my readers a damn thing, am I right?  My name is on this camp, and I’m proud of it.  We see more tears and hugs on the final day than I ever thought possible.  I’d love to have some more readers there (we already have two!)

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Happy Humpday.  Hope it’s a doozy!

Wrapping Up The Hockey Greats Fantasy Camp

Trots and Gillies. One can really play. I'm about to be related to the other.

Hockey Greats Houseboat. More people jumping off the top deck than the Titanic.

$1,000.00 to charity, per mustache, from a guest. Priceless entertainment for the rest of us.

Islanders haven't expressed interest. Breeding rights are still on waivers for other NHL teams.

The Cup winning team let us slide in for one pic. My name is still not engraved on the VT Cup.

Lawson Translation

The Islanders have signed a third starter, Martin Biron, to a one year, $1.4 million dollar contract.  I just. don’t. get it.

So then, we’re admitting DiPietro is beyond being a functioning goalie, right?

I mean, it makes no sense to sign someone to well over a million dollars if you intend for them to play in the AHL.  And we aren’t going to trade Biron or Roloson, both of whom we just signed, or we simply wouldn’t have signed them.  So this was the Islanders admitting DP is a no-go, wasn’t it?

Lawson reads the play before you do, and plays the puck like Marty Turco

The Sound Tigers had a stud in net last year in Nathan Lawson, who didn’t see NHL games at the end of the AHL season strictly because the BPST’s needed him too bad (truf).  If they were looking to lock up a talented kid with scads of potential starter for the Sound Tigers, they had Lawson in their hands (statline: 2.16 GAA, .927 Save %, 19 wins, 9 losses -- better than Mannino in every category).  Who knows if he’ll sign without getting a NHL -- AHL two way, which the Isles won’t do (15 years looked crazy, but 4 NHL goalie contracts looks bat-shit crazy).  So should we shuffle Laws into the “Islanders squandered talent” bin?  They better at least lock him up for Bridgeport somehow, and soon… or someone will.

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Ahhh, the Red Sox got rid of Julio Lugo, at last.  He never really fit in there, did he?  Never quite had the swagger, always kinda looked weak.  I’m sure Sawks fans shed zero tears, and are already demanding results of the new guys.

By the way, has the Sox morphing into the Yankees over this decade turned anyone else off?  So much for the scrappy underdog taking down those Rockefeller-esque Yankees.  They’re just poured outta the same mold at this point.

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Like me, you may find it hard to sit through 36 seconds of “metal”, or whatever we’re calling that genre of “music”, so you may want to mute this.  I think I actually like it better with sound though.

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So good news, for those of you who have subscribed to the blog.  You’re about to get your first bonus offering from Bourne’s Blog!  I’m going to take questions from now until the Hockey Greats Fantasy Camp that you may have for any of our ex-NHL stars, ask those questions, and do a fun little question and answer write up for you.  I think I may do this throughout the year with current NHLers that I’m still in touch with too.

I feel safer when he wears gloves.

So, you have your pick, ask a question to any of the following:  Battlin’ Billy Smith, Dave Semenko, Bryan Trottier, Dale Hawerchuk, Doug Bodger, Steve Shutt, Ron Flockhart, Cliff Ronning, Larry Melnyk, Gary Nylund, Clark Gillies, or of course, my Dad.

Two weeks from now that crew will be on the ice with our guests, pulling groins, tweaking backs, and generally keeping ibuprofen providers in business.  Lookin’ forward to it!

The Conn Smythe, a Plug and a Kobe

Heyyy, the Pengy’s finally won one!

The saddest part of watching them win was admitting that they just aren’t the better team.  I so badly wanted them to be.  Sigh…  But, at least there’s hope. 

I was so convinced Crosby was the Penguins Conn Smythe guy after the conference finals it was silly.  I figured, even if Malkin steps it up in a big way in the finals it wasn’t going to equal Crosby’s contributions to how far they’ve advanced.  Now, it’s looking a little dicier.

What about the Wings?  Zetterberg or Franzen?  Or… Osgood?  Back to back Zetterberg’s right?  The last time I can remember an offensive player playing defense that exceptionally was Fedorov in his heyday, also for the Red Wings.

[polldaddy poll=1675957]

On the vacation front, there’s good news in regards to our Hockey Greats Fantasy Camp this year.  Aside from having guys like Dale Hawerchuk, Bryan Trottier, Clark Gillies, Billy Smith, Cliff Ronning, Dave Semenko and many others locked up, we reached a long term agreement with the beautiful lakeside resort “The Cove” on the Westside of Kelowna BC.  The camp wouldn’t be the same without that setting, so I want to give a major thank you to them for partnering with us. 

With agreements and sponsorships, we’ve been able to cut entry down to $3000 (with sponsorship packages ranging from $150 to $20,000).  We provide the ice time, cover transportation in Kelowna, provide lots of free gear, your resort suite, a round of golf, breakfasts and appy’s, an afternoon on a houseboat and other extras. 

We’re working on bringing Trevor Linden into the fold, and next year we have Kelly Hrudey committed to hosting.  Signing up this year also affords you a discount on next years entry.  Contact me if you’re interested in being involved August 5th to the 8th in Kelowna BC at jtbourne@gmail.com – there’s actvities, accomodations and entertainment in a relaxed environment for every guest.

Sorry about the shameless plug – I just really love the event we’re running out here.

I need to mention something else before I call today over (PS, plugging that made me feel like Vince at ShamWow. “ShamWow, it’ll have ya sayin’ wow every time”).  I’m watching the Spike Lee documentary “Kobe Doin’ Work”. 

What is this guy’s deal?

It’s so awkward watching him justify every play and decision throughout the whole documentary.  It just seems so forced.  I’m not sure why I still get the vibe that the guy is insecure.  What does he want, more money, fame?  I’ve tried so hard to like the guy.  He’s A-Rod awkward.  God, what a chotch.

And lastly, my latest The Hockey News entry on slumping will be up in the next day or two.  I’ll post the link when it’s up!  Go Pens!