Heckling Tiger, Huet vs. Niemi, The Frozen Four

G’mornin!

For those of you who prefer my writing in “column form” (y’know, with a coherent thought process, and usually some point to make beyond the “I THINK GUY FIERI BLEACHES HIS HAIR!” blog format), you can check out my latest for USA Today, on Why the Coyotes are nervously watching the Red Wings progress. 

Cool.

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Today is the Masters Par Three tournament warm-up thingy, which you’d have to be a pathetic, desperate fan of the Masters to watch, so I’ll probably set my DVR and go by some extra bags of Orville Redenbacher’s salt and pepper popcorn.  Which, by the way, is to popcorn what the Masters is to golf. 

Le Tigre

Deadspin makes it’s case for someone to heckle Tiger at the Masters like he rightfully deserves.  At first, I was all nose-in-the-air, gasp, not at the Masters-ey about it.  But man, when you write a convincing article, you write a convincing article.  Check out the link… and as always with Deadspin, if my blog is rated R, theirs is…. whatever’s worse than that. (Read: he doesn’t put asterisks in the word f**k…. how uncouth).

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Duke beat Butler to win the National Championship.  In other news you don’t care about, my cats breath still smells like cat food.

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Looks like Chicago’s going with Niemi for the stretch run here, hey?  He’ll make his fifth straight start tonight versus Dallas.

Huet

I understand that he had back to back shutouts in that stretch, so it’s impossible to not let him run with the ball for a bit.  But I’d be starting Huet.  Here’s my logic:

At this point, it’s hard to make the argument that Niemi is that much better than Huet (or vice versa).  Niemi may be better in future years, but as of the 2009-2010 playoffs, he’s not.

You’ve committed to Huet with a big contract.  He’s earning the big dough, so there’s obviously a reason for that.  At some point in his 277 NHL games (or 16 playoff ones) with Montreal, LA, Chicago (and I think briefly Washington), he’s shown flashes of multi-million dollar brilliance.

The experience I just referenced helps.  He’s 34 years old.  Annnntttttiiii (sp?) Niemi is 26 – prior to this season, he had 3 NHL games under his belt, which brings his total to 38, career.

I’m all for playing whoevers best on any given day, but if you’re having trouble deciding, give the reigns to the guy you put all your chips on before the roulette ball started spinning.

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I slid a “Go RIT!” in at the end of yesterday’s blog, but it was kind of a joke.  I’m glad to see other lesser-known programs going deep, for sure, but at heart, I’m a WCHA loyalist.

Sooo... Geoffrion got good since I left, I hear....

See, when you’re record is like, 14-28 every year, you tend to explain to people that it’s because the league you play in is the best in college hockey (yes, CCHA and Hockey East-ers, you have some argument).  The fact is, the Western Collegiate Hockey Association has won 36 of the last 58 National Championships, and there are six college conferences.  My second year in college, of the (something like) 58 Div. 1 college programs, the frozen four was ALL WCHA teams.

These are the things I cite to defend myself, and thusly, let me slowly, in all caps, type out my hope and pick for the National Title this year:

WISCONSIN BADGERS

My playoff record against those Badgers is 3-3 — had Pavelski and Robbie Earl not single-handedly earned NHL contracts in the third period of game one my sophomore year, it would be a lot better.  But then…. I guess those guys were on their team, so it is kinda fair…. crap.

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Time to wake up the houseguests!  Enjoy what NHL.com is calling “Super Tuesday” (is that even a thing?)  Who’s Detroit playing?  Can I bet my kid’s yet unearned college fund on them winning tonight?

B-Side Thought Barrage

Sorry about the late start today – the mornings after I play hockey are usually a little sluggish, not because I drink after, but because I NEVER EXERCISE EVER AND I HURT.

Sadly, my rec league team lost it’s first game, giving up an empty netter in the dying seconds to lose 12-10.  In our defense, our team racked up 10 man-games of suspensions the week before, so we had six skaters and a replacement goalie.  I also felt two strides away from having massive cardiac issues. 

It’s time to clear out the thought locker – that’s the place in my phone I store genius topic ideas, essentially adding three of them a day, and writing about two.  What I’m saying is, here come the B-Sides.

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I love that Carey Price went after Cam Janssen after getting run over last night….

….but it got me thinking.  Has any goalie EVER taken their helmet off to fight a player? (I know they do to fight each other)  …But it’s like they forget it’s on.  Or they figure since they’re at an over-padded disadvantage anyway, they deserve to leave it on.  For the record, I’m on their side.  Swing away, f**kers.  (Harding did the same a few nights earlier against Ott, I believe)

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Beer of the seemingly-random-length-of-time:  Jewbelation 13 by Shmaltz Brewing, strictly because it’s got a hilarious name, 13.5% alcohol, and is so dark and thick they serve it in a snifter.  I’ve never ordered one, but come on, that deserved a shout-out.

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When I was in Vegas, it was during the Fancy-New-Electronics Convention Thinger (or some similar name).  It was like being in Vancouver, if you get what I mean.  …..Ya know?  …..Feel me on that?  ….ASIANS, PEOPLE!  ASIANS EVERYWHERE. 

If he's not sleeping, he's nom-ing toes.

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I get claustrophobic when my cat falls asleep in my lap, because I want to encourage the whole affection thing, but I feel like I can’t get up/move/flinch/do-anything-ever-again.  Anyone esle feel trapped by their sleeping pet?

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As I’m sure generations did before us, we tend to think we have most universe/Earth related things mostly figured out.  Ideas that were common knowledge like “the Earth is flat” periodically get debunked, and they change our views on major topics just like that.  In TIME this week, there was an article that reviewed the discovery of a fossil that showed some four-legged creature was walking the earth 400 million years ago, long before we thought animals crawled out of the sea.

Which got me thinking: I wonder what the next big thing will be.  The next crazy, “holy crap, the Earth isn’t the center of the solar system” type discovery.  Hope it’s in my lifetime.

Wrong pic for the ProBowl blurb? Naaa, SANCHIZE!

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The NFL’s ProBowl is such a joke.  You can take the physicality out of hockey and still leave entertainment, but not football.  Why don’t they just shut that event down?  Who’s trying to maul the quarterback when it makes no difference what happens on the play?

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Washing a hat is like reincarnating it.  You end up with a totally different hat if you wash and dry it.  It makes the immediate transition from new, stiff, fancy hat, to old, worn, comfy hat.  Do you dishwasher wash yours, never wash, or washing machine them?

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Hey, pro sports leagues, guys do their ‘roids after the season to get a cycle in before they get back to testing ….can we look into some off-season bloodwork or something?

Stop. Slammertime.

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Bill Simmons wrote a wonderful article on Lebron James – We Are All Witnesses.  Read it if you like basketball in the slightest bit.  {Is it just me, or are more hockey fans one-sport-lovers than any other sport?  I feel like guys who like basketball can like football, or baseball and football, whatever, but people who like hockey like HOCKEY.}

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As a Deadspin article mentioned yesterday, shower beers rule.  Y’know, the nights you’re going out to really tear it up with your friends (see: college), so you bring your beer with you into the shower.  That’s exciting man.  You know it’s gonna be a big night.

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And just like that, we’re done.  Thanks for assisting in the tidy up!