Some Thoughts on Pronger, Caps/Lightning, Canucks/Predators

 

New Puck Daddy: Undisciplined play from a teams’ leaders can kill a dressing room, also, *cough*Flyers*cough*

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If I may explain today’s Puck Daddy article – I realize Pronger hasn’t played a ton, but he has played three of the last four games, and managed to anger me enough to write that.  After watching his behaviour against Buffalo, followed by his antics in the early part of round two’s first game, I was FURIOUS when he took van Riemsdyk away from the very unthreatening Marchand situation like a wise old vet showin’ the young kid what to do.

Don’t take any penalties kid, they just took one and we don’t want to give up that opportunity!

I was just like….you f***ing hypocrite.

Van Riemsdyk is going to be a star in the league, and what’s he supposed to think after that?  He saw big #20 blow it for him and his teammates twice in the past three games, so what, he’s supposed to respect Pronger’s wishes?  Look up to him, learn from him?  He should’ve slashed Pronger for the condescending “now now, young man” when JVR was just getting his back.

I dunno.  Obviously I know Pronger’s a stud d-man that I’d like to have on my team.  But let’s not act like he’s not a selfish hockey player out there. 

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Today I had to do a two-minute bit for TV, and let me tell you, I did very, very poorly. I need to do that shit more so I don’t get all panicky when I mess up once – I’m tellin’ ya, it was like a trainwreck once it started.  Here’s a rough version of the punchy lil’ monologue, Passing Thoughts on Washington/Tampa, Vancouver/Nashville:

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In the Eastern Conference semifinal the Washington Capitals are dangerously near getting knocked out of playoffs with an upset.  And yes, I did cut and paste that sentence from an article I wrote in one of the previous three years. (*modified for print )

Bruce Boudreau said after the game two loss that “Alex Ovechkin wasn’t doing very much,” and that “it’s easy to put a d-man on a forward,” adding that Eric Brewer was doing a good job shutting Ovy down.

To reiterate, ERIC BREWER.

That’s like saying Lebron is having trouble getting to the hoop and dunking because I’M guarding him.

He failed to mention that the Caps powerplay is doing really well, by the Boston Bruins standards (11.1%).  He also missed that Nick Backstrom is having a heck of a playoff run, if he were precisely no one (7GP, 0G, 2A, 2PTS).

In the Western Conference, the Vancouver Canucks are headed to Nashville to play game three after losing game two on home ice in overtime.

If you like fast, offensive games, than this series has been like…..watching neutral zone play in soccer, really. 

But if it’s goaltending you like…..well, then, you’re just weird.

But both goalies have been terrific in this series, giving up a mere two total goals each after two games, with the only difference being that fans in Nashville LOVE Pekka Rinne, where fans in Vancouver LOVE that they have a good backup goalie.

…..They just don’t trust that starter.

It should be a star-studded affair in Music City, with plenty of celebrity cameos – you’ll see Carrie Underwood….you’ll see Vancouver’ Green Men….the only thing you won’t see is Barry Trotz neck.

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 Eh, kinda corny, but it didn’t sound so bad when I recorded myself doing it.  Live….eh, lets not go there.  Anywho, so I’m pulling myself together after that.

I’ll be watchin’ the games ‘n’ tweetin’ tonight.  Follow me here.

Marketing Villains, How Philly Can Win, John Madden

 

Happy Game Three morning, or something like that.

In yesterday’s Puck Daddy post, I elaborated on what we regularly talk about here in our comments section – sports hate.  I figured it was fitting timing, since this year’s version of the Stanley Cup Finals is made far more interesting because of it’s hateable characters. (Also, when I read what I wrote about sports hate the first time, it was barely more than a sentence, and it’s a great topic.)

But, on the heels of that column, Ms. Conduct’s blog titled “You Love Carcillo. Admit it. (though I absolutely don’t), Greg Wyshynski’s post on Chris Pronger (WITH JUST UNDER TWO THOUSAND COMMENTS), and a couple of recent tweets/thoughts about “maybe the NHL should market it’s villains”, it’s worth asking….

Should the NHL market it’s villains?

Couldn’t you see a 30-second compilation of all Pronger’s suspension-worthy offenses strung together in one NHL commercial called “Nice Guys Finish Last”, with him hoisting the Cup at the end?  And wouldn’t it set your insides to a rolling boil? 

But he’d become a more recognizable figure, and we’d love to root for him to lose.

Not sure what the answer is here (and I think the NHL would have to get permission from the player to play up his “gritty” side, but hey, most of those guys make their money playing that role, so I bet they’d be pumped to up their evil image), but I know I’d eat it up if it ever happened.

{Tangent: The end of my “For the Love of Hatred” column on Pronger snapping his stick and falling on it etc. is actually a tribute to a couple friends I used to play “worst case scenario” with before each hockey game.  Basically, it was a reverse jinx – surely if we say it, this stuff won’t happen.  The “broken stick” part actually is stolen from “today you’re going to take a face-off, your stick will snap, and you’ll fall and impale yourself on the bottom half.  Then when you skate towards medical attention, your skate is gonna catch a rut and snap your ankle.” Good times.}

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“Crushasaurus” posed this question yesterday “Game one was wide open, Philly lost. Game two was vacuum tight, Philly lost. If you’re Laviolette, what do you say?”

Philly can win if….

Philly can win if Pronger and Carle can continue to shut down the Toews/Kane line. 

They need some puck possession time.  Between Seabrook and Keith’s ability to come up with the puck in the d-zone and transition their forwards, and Hossa (and crew’s) ability to rag it at the other end, they’ve rarely had the even-strength sustained pressure to wear down Chicago’s D-corps and centers.

They benefit from a stupid, slogging, facewashing battle.  You don’t want to go run-n-gun with Chicago, so keep it more like Game Two, and hope this time it’s Darroll Powe that gets the winner, not Ben Eager. 

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I love watching a baseball “brawl” (90% of the time it’s a couple people jawing) and focusing on the stragglers loping out to the field out of obligation, when there’s already 80 people in the mix not fighting.  They’ve got warm-up jackets on, a mouth full of Spitz and just took off the “my eyes are open” glasses they were wearing for their nap.

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John Madden must have one of the best perspective’s on what it takes for a team to win a Stanley Cup.

Pretty sure he has two cups going on three, and none of them were back to back (’01, ’03, …’10?)  In that way, I would think he’d be able to connect the dots to see what make-up it takes to get it done, right?  Maybe he’d say it was having a few dominant d-men, or young, quick forwards.  Who knows.  Maybe he’d say it’s him.

But he’s been a top six guy, a bottom six guy, young, old, on a defensive-first team, an offense first team…. I just think he’d be a really great interview about the common threads amongst his Cup winning teams.

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Okay, I’m over the Tiger Woods grace period for “getting back into it”.  I need the divorce finalized, and his focus back on entertaining me.  He’s playing this weekend in the Memorial, defending his win from last year.  I don’t know him, or care to further discuss his now-obvious horrible-humanness.  Tiger, it’s time to be good again, for the sake of Sundays.

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Game Three, folks.  Thoughts, questions, statements, links….?

My Finals Picks – Best Goalie, D-Man, Forward and Team

 

Let’s get to it – here are my answers from yesterday’s poll questions:

Which goalie would you most like to have on your team in the Finals?

I’m 100% sold on Antti Niemi.

His situation in Chicago this year felt like one of those “let’s try and keep this kid down and give our other goalie every chance to be the starter so people don’t realize we’re paying the wrong guy” deals.  Just like Carey Price over Jaro Halak, and for awhile, Tim Thomas over Tukka Rask.  In the end, you want the best goalie in the net, and teams relent.

I thought he was absolutely dynamite in the early games of the San Jose series, and he played great against Vancouver.  He’s not that awkward “how is he doing it?” style that I hate so much (*coughNabokovcough*).  He does it the right way.

In the game Philly lost to Montreal, Leighton let in a couple of those “oh god, is he gonna crumble?” goals, before regrouping nicely.  He’s had an exceptional year (for a guy who’s played around 30 games), and is certainly capable of succeeding.  For now though, he’s played in seven total playoff games, facing a Krejci/Sturm-less Bruins team and a fizzling, content-with-where-they-got Montreal offense.

Which Defenseman would you most like to have on your team in the Finals?

I hate this question because of the “in the Finals” part.

I’d take Duncan Keith during the year, and probably even most of playoffs.  I’m completely torn on this one, but if I’m being honest, I think I’d prefer to have Chris Pronger.

My heart wouldn’t let me vote for him in the poll.  I picked Duncan Keith, thinking that Duncan creates offense from defense (uses quickness to intercept pucks, move them the other way) and creates defense from offense (makes such solid decisions his team often plays entire shifts in the offensive zone).

But I couldn’t lie to myself a second day in a row.  Pronger is impossible to play against.  He’s one of those guys that when you play him, your line is on the bench frustrated going “man, we just can’t seem to get anything going today.  Not getting the bounces”.

He uses his long stick like a scalpel to just hinder every f**king play you’re trying to make.  He gets his big body in the right spots, has a bomb from the point and moves the puck like guys a foot smaller than him. 

I hate him, but he’s one of the best.  I’d have to take Chris stupid Pronger.

Which forward would you most like to have on your team in the Finals?

This one inevitably boils down to the two leaders, Richards and Toews.

My general thinking is this:  Toews is going to have a better career than Richards.  He’s 22 and already more of an offensive threat.  He steps up in big games, is crazy responsible for his talent-level (doesn’t have to be, but is), and is just an all-around star.

But Mike Richards wants this.  I’m sure Toews does too, but sometimes Richards’ passion scares the shit out of me.  He plays with a fire I never had.  I think he knows this may be one his last chances to compete for a Stanley Cup in a conference likely to be dominated by Washington and Pittsburgh for awhile.  After all, how often are both those teams going to get eliminated before Philly has to deal with one of them?

He has all the tools to succeed, and he’s in his prime.  Plus, I can’t help but remember that I’ve played Toews in college, and occasionally he gets his three points in such a quiet way that he’s rarely on your radar.  I felt comfortable enough to play my heart out, since I wasn’t looking over my shoulder for him.  I look over my shoulder for Mike Richards before typing (hey, that guy could be coming from any angle).

At the same time, if you read my column yesterday, Philly has that (negative) something that makes them just be so bad once in awhile, and a part of me can’t help but wonder if he’s the common thread.  Toews just smells like winning, so it’s a tough call.

I’ll stick with Richards for now, but ask me Sunday and I’ll probably change my mind.

What’s your Finals prediction?

Picking Chicago in six gets you no love.  It’s the safest thing on the planet, and a lose-lose.  The number of games, six, shows no balls, because you’re always “close”.  The team shows no balls because they’re the (significantly) higher seed.  And that’s why you see pundits go out on a limb, because they have the small chance to be “right” and the guy who “really saw things the right way”.

But at what point is picking like an idiot beneficial to your career?

Chicago is a little better at every position, which means they’re A LOT better team.

I can see Philly winning a game or two.  I mean, it’s the NHL, Edmonton can beat Washington and it’s not exactly the Detroit Lions beating the New Orleans Saints.  So I can’t pick that short of a series.

So I’ll give the Flyers their due (and play it safe) and go with Chicago in six.  Hey, it’s what I think is gonna happen, I can’t be blamed for that, can I?

Happy Thursday folks.  See ya back here tomorrow!

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Top Ten Canadians in the Game

 

NHL.com lists the ten best Canadians in the game today (in order) as:

1. Sidney Crosby   2. Martin Brodeur  3.  Jarome Iginla   4.  Marc-Andre Fleury   5. Chris Pronger   6. Ryan Getzlaf   7.  Rick Nash   8. Roberto Luongo   9. Joe Thornton   10. Vincent Lecavalier

Though not ridiculous, it’s a tad nostalgic.  Chris Pronger is the fifth best Canadian hockey player alive today?  Don’t take the following as not liking any of the above guys, I just thought I’d mix in my own thoughts, and hear some of yours (okay, you can take it as me not liking Pronger).

{First, I’m finally impressed with a US hockey team, which makes me a tad nervous for Canada.  It was a hassle when every country in Europe starting getting really good (go back to producing bums with eight “i’s” in their name, Finland), but now the US?  That’s annoying.

Names like Parise, Stastny, Kane, Kessel, Kessler, Ryan and Booth point to a pretty strong future.  Young, fast and a talented — all of ‘em.}

But back to our Canadian top ten.

1. Sidney is a given.

But I just can’t give Martin Brodeur the title of #2.  This is always a tough point to make, because folks can drag up stats (career GAA of amazing-point-five, save percentage is ninetywhatever-point-awesome), but come on.  I could drag up Bobby Orr’s amazing numbers too, but you wouldn’t want him (the 61 year old him) starting at defense in 2010, would you?  Brodeur’s great, but on the downslope of his career (and never exactly been known for his fitness).

Marty has become a staple of Canadian big game hockey and I love him to death for that.  But, Canada should probably move on.  Cam Ward didn’t crack the NHL.com top ten, but wouldn’t you like to see him wearing a Team Canada jersey at the Olympics?  It’s not like Carolina’s teams have been stacked, but he’s made them successful – this guy is a big game goalie too.

Our best Canadian goalies today are Luongo (what goalie would have won a cup backstopping the teams he has?  Don’t give me that argument), Cam Ward, and Marc-Andre Fleury (who I’ve always liked, despite the fact that everyone in Canada hated the disappointment he “was” before June of this year).

One – that’s right, ONE – defenseman made that list, and it was Pronger.  More than taking away from Chris, who admittedly is still in the upper echelon of defenseman (hanging on… losing… grip… must… hang on), I have to give credit to two other guys, Mike Green of Washington, and Shea Weber of Nashville.

I got more texts from hockey-playing friends watching NHL playoff games last year about Mike Green than anyone else.  He does some amazingly nifty little things that make a big difference.  To be a scorer in the NHL today is tough to do, but this guys’ stat-line from last year as a defenseman was 31 goals, 42 assists for 73 points… in 68 games.

Oh, and he’s 24.  His defensive game has gotten better every year, and will continue to.

As ridiculous as it seems now, I was Shea Weber’s instructor at Dave Roy’s “Edge of Excellence” hockey school.  I was 18, and Shea was 15.  He was probably bigger than me by three inches then and just under twice as fast.  I made a huge difference in his life. 

“Yep, you’re doing it right.  Yep.  That was good.  Uh-huh.”

At this point, he’s not even freaking human.  Punishingly physical, with a booming slapper and great foot speed, I bet there’s a lot of GM’s who’d take him over Green.  He’s Pronger 2.1 – the next edition.  Toting less lumbering largeness (a mere 6’3″ 210), he carries his size more like Duncan Keith than a Todd Bertuzzi, and is frighteningly better every time I see him play.

Oh, and he’s 24.

I think a list of our top ten Canadian players today needs to pay closer attention to the way the game is being played now.  Vinnie Lecavalier is a great player, and plenty physical to boot.  But remember how it looked when the international teams were bombing around and we were trying to Eric Lindros/Keith Primeau them into the ground?  We couldn’t catch them.

Vinnie isn’t that big slug type of player; I just think the new type of goal scorer is more evasive than invasive.  Doesn’t Jonathan Toews strike you as a more effective guy in today’s game?  The guys scored 34 times as a 21 year old captain last year.  He’s following in Lecavaliers footsteps as the young captain, but is already trouncing the numbers Vinnie put up at that age.

So without further ado… My list:

1. Sidney Crosby

2. Ryan Getzlaf

3. Jarome Iginla

4. Roberto Luongo

5. Rick Nash

6. Mike Green

7. Jonathan Toews

8. Joe Thornton

9. Shea Weber

10. Cam Ward

I’d put those guys out against any country, any day.  (Wait, except Russia.  Not sure what they’re doing over there, but it’s starting to resemble cheating).

We Signed Who??

 

Trade deadlines, roster freezes, free agent cutoffs – these are all things all diehard hockey fans love.  It was fun waiting to see if the Canucks signed Plodalong Sundin right?

Well, think of this: There was some center in the Canucks organization who knew if Sundin signed, he would be traded or released.  These fun decisions aren’t so fun for everyone.

I try to explain it better here:  http://tiny.cc/8g1w7 .  Don’t be shy to “recommend” my brilliant work.

PS, I just figured out that damn “tiny url” thing (apparently, it wasn’t that complicated), so beware, twitter followers.  I’ma be comin’ with the heat.

The Perfect Salary Loophole

 

In an attempt to postpone the slow but steady journey from hockey player to fat cynical writer, I’ve given these so-called “Perfect Pushups” a try.  I gotta believe any product with “perfect” in it’s name is probably not the most reliable item to exchange legal tender for, but c’mon…  that guy on the box is jacked.

Anywho, they’re money.  They really are.  They better be, cause it’s shirt-off weather in Phoenix about 13 months a year, and I need to make some changes.  Apparently, a day of writing burns roughly four calories, and that sack of chocolate covered pretzels I just humbled contained a number similar to the national debt.

Moving on.

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How about those shade-ball owners in the NHL abusing the salary cap loophole?  I mean, come on.  For the Flyers to claim with a straight face that they think Chris Pronger has seven good playing years left is pretty feeble, isn’t it?  He’s got the operating speed and mobility of an early 90′s desktop computer, and they didn’t think it was just a little too obvious that they were trying to circumvent the salary cap?  I’ve seen more subtlety in Andrew Dice Clay jokes. 

For the uninformed, here’s a quick rundown of how and why you’re seeing massively long contracts:

NHL teams have a salary cap of $56.8 million for the 2009-2010 season.  The cap hit that each player costs is simple: the dollar total of their contract, divided by the amount of years.

Thus, in the case of Marion Hossa and Chris Pronger, they were signed to long term deals where they make the league minimum in the last few years, so the teams yearly cap hit comes down.  For example, Hossa signed for 12 years, roughly 60 million dollars.  But, he actually makes nearly 8 mill a season for the first seven years, then peanuts for the last five.  Instead of taking an eight million dollar cap hit (which is what they’re paying him), his contract works out to a five million dollar hit (60/12=5), so they Hawks are free to spend more money.

And now, an outside firm has been hired to figure out if the teams were intentionally signing guys to contracts that they weren’t actually going to play out.  Apparently, they’ve called the Hardy Boys, Sherlock Holmes, and the Scooby-Doo crew to crack this difficult case.  Pronger, $525,000 (league minimum) at 40?  Noooo, I’m sure he intends to play, right?

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Everytime I think about writing a book (which is becoming more often), this clip brings me back down to earth with a laugh.  Then I make a martini.

 ”

Ahhhh, crap that’s funny.

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So, our first celebs arrive tomorrow to hang out for a day or two before our Hockey Greats Camp starts, and I’ve got good news:  I will be blogging.  I’d be a fool not to.  Last year one of these guys told my Egyptian friend he looks like a half-chewed caramel.  These guys are a gold mine for material.

Over the  next day or two, the following is the group of gents we’ve enlisted to help make our camp a success (chosen on a formula of what great guys they are times how good they were):  Dave Semenko, Bryan Trottier, Steve Shutt, Billy Smith, Gary Nylund, Clark Gillies, Doug Bodger, Dale Hawerchuk, Ron Flockhart, Cliff Ronning and Larry Melnyk.  27 Stanley Cups between em.  Not bad.

I’ll be tweeting the frequent gems that stumble out of these guys booze-holes as the week goes on.

(Last year, the same tale was rehashed a half dozen times: A player gets beat when an opponent - frequently cited as being Pierre Laroche -- puts the puck between his feet and goes in to score.  After getting berated by his coach, the player says “Gee, I guess I shoulda kept my legs closed” to which the coach responds “No, your mother shoulda“.)

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And last, one more thing - Brianna gets here on Tuesday, marking the start of “NeverApartEverAgain time”.  Married men, pour one out for me.  Looking forward to it, honey!