Hey, Quick Question…

This whole Ben Roethlisberger sex scandal is just so odd, isn’t it?

I mean, you never quite know how to take it when you hear of a professional athlete getting acused of something so serious.  Or at least I don’t.

Naturally, we start by juding their prior behaviour.  You can pick through Ben’s history with tweezers and not find drama.  But that doesn’t mean he didn’t do it.

As her account goes, she was the concierge at his hotel (he was at some golf event in Lake Tahoe), and he asked her to step into his room to look at his broken TV.  She comes in, and they (allegedly) have sex that only one person wanted to have, which, is sorta frowned upon by every person ever (not to make light of a potentially serious crime). 

It’s tough to form opinions on this stuff, because if he really did it, what an awful, sick, burn-in-hell human it turns out he is.  But if he didn’t do it, it still sucks for him - once “accused of rape” is on your resume, it always kinda mars your reputation, convicted or not.  It’s just such a shady situation.  It doesn’t help her case that you could see why she’d make something like that up if it turns out that she is slightly off-in-the-head.   There’s the national attention, plus, the guy is loaded.

I don’t think Ben’s guilty, for two reasons:  One, his prior record of misbehaving (never, aside from a sober motorcycle crash), and two, the fact that she’s listed something like eight people as defendants in a rape case, which unfortunately starts her off on the crazy-looking foot.

And other times, I think, wait… Isn’t my blog way too light-hearted for a topic like this?  And it is.  So I apologize.  Won’t happen again.  Let’s ask questions about more pressing issues…

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One: Is there any stress that comes on quicker and stronger than being in the right lane with a “right lane must turn” sign (let alone the ominous “right lane ENDS” signs)?  Especially with the cars to your left being in a steady, packed line?  Sheer panic.  Inner-skull pandemonium.

Two:  Why won’t the CFL just accept its role as an NFL farm system?  Everything would work a whole lot smoother (and develop more players, and better), if they just used a normal sized ball, and had an appropriate sized field.  Like adults do.  Know your role, CFL.  Right?

Ay, my father was a tree.

Three:  Can you watch the pirate (with the four wood limbs) on family guy and not laugh?

Four:  What baseball player would depress you the most to find out did steroids during their career?  Gotta be Cal Ripken, doesn’t it?  Mr. Iron Man himself?

Five:  Is there any word in our language more homosexual word than the word ”prancing” (especially in fuschia)?  Not really the way any male wants any of his movements described.  Just a thought.

Ha, so yeah, there’s a non-hockey pop quiz for today.  Enjoy the lull and enjoy the sun, before you know it’ll be strong coffee, slapshots and saves allll over again.

Fringe Sports

At last, the CFL season has started.  Time for some serious coverage.

Aaaaaaaahhh, just kidding!

You lucked out this time readers.  It’s one of the very few sports I can’t quite get into (see also: any league that starts in “W”).  When I do follow, I claim to be a fan of the Lions and Roughriders, which means that every year I have a 25% chance of a favourite team winning the Grey Cup (which, I believe, is slightly better than the Jets chances most years). 

The league was way better when it was a nine team league and two of them had the same name (Roughriders).  That wasn’t embarrassing at all.  Nope.  I see no problem there.

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Everyone who can look graceful playing Andy Roddick is in this picture.

While I’m on sports that I’m a fringe follower of, let me touch on tennis quick:

 As per a recent message I got from a reader: are we all taking the greatness of Roger Federer for granted?  It may not be the case worldwide, but I know in North America Federer isn’t held in nearly as high esteem as Tiger Woods, despite the fact that his showing at this years Wimbledon (especially the final) was simply breathtaking.

I still don’t care to watch every point of a quarter-final match against Madeup Randomguy (where I would watch Tiger Woods mini golf against his kids), but it’s probably time I at least mention the greatest tennis player of all time.  So ya…  Roger Federer - congrats on that.

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By the way, my first contribution to Hockey Primetime’s temporary site (www.hockeyprimetime.com) is up - a little analysis of who I thought gained and who lost in this years free agent flurry (aren’t you sick of the word “frenzy” after “free agent”?).  Check it out (or I’ll kill you. Seriously.)

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 Last but not least… I inverted a small bird.  Clunked ‘em with my car.

I dunno. You google "bird car drugs" and find a better image.

Can we please have an open discussion about that stupid game birds play, where they fly out in front of your car, at car height, from ditch to ditch, at the last second?

I’m convinced that the fly-by game is like doing drugs for birds.  I bet its such an adrenalin rush.  And you know they aren’t just trying to get to the other side.  They can fly.  Height is a non-issue.

The first bird won the game, got his fix, and scared me.  The second bird was clearly trying to impress his friends by taking a big hit (getting especially close) and didn’t even make it to the far side of my car.  A big hit, indeed.

Clunk.

Overdose.

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*Footnote: If you want your time chewed to pieces like mine, check out www.textsfromlastnight.com (heavy parental advisory on the content, it’s offensive in every way possible, and hilarious).