And For His Next Act, Dorsett Slips On A Banana Peel
And now, your bi-daily violent hit review -- the hit-from-behind on Columbus player Derek Dorsett, courtesy James Neal.
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First, thanks to Bob Mckenzie for the review of “I think there’s a chance there could be a suspension here”. Let’s continue discussing while we scour the ice for the rest of Dorsett’s frontal lobe.
Second, WEAR A FUCKING VISOR, Derek.
Third, okay, the hit is horrible. Dorsett is really really hurt. We need to stop this stuff. ….But that was funny, right? I mean, wasn’t it exactly how a vaudeville actor would have played “getting knocked unconscious?” Or like, in a pre-teeny-after-school-special type show? Right over backwards, arms out wide? Okay, okay, you’re right, it was brutal. ….Ohscrewyou, that was funny.
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Pre-season this year, I predicted the St. Louis Blues to be a sneak-into-playoffs type team, then they got off to a real crap start. Then, I predicted the Coyotes to get off to a real crap start, and they came out looking like a sneak-into-playoffs type team (or Stanley Cup winner, depending on who you ask).
He shoots, he's old!
Though I’ve backed off on the Coyote bashing, I’ll take this chance to re-affirm my stance that the Blues are good. With their goaltending, and depth at forwards, their ship has to turn around eventually. And if not, I’ll start blaming totally arbitrary things like their schedule, or being stuck in a tough division with Nashville and Columbus.
I also predicted Chicago to win the Presidents trophy. I’m not far off on that one, but I may have overlooked the fact that the Capitals division -- Atlanta, Tampa Bay, Carolina and Florida is the most nauseatingly poor grouping of teams since the WNBA (ahhh, felt good to get another shot in. Been awhile).
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You can say what you like about last nights Toronto/Carolina game -- battle for the basement, two teams who can’t hold a lead, whatever… but for fans buying a ticket to a hockey game, that was epic.
Not many fans out there appreciate the nuances of a fine goaltending duel - but they all love what they saw out there last night. Props to those who stayed to watch the last 30 seconds after the ‘Canes did their best to puke the game away in the last minute. No, no… not props. Big ups. I’m switching to using “big ups” more. Big ups to ‘Canes fans.
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Stan, the very very Jewish man.
Everyone who had the Devils leading their division (vs. Philly, Pitt, the Rangers and… my Isles) raise their hand. Liars. Put your hand down.
On the topic of the Devils, I put in a call to my buddy Stan Fischler yesterday -- “The Maven” as he’s affectionately known, deserves at least a whole post, and I will get to that. For now, I want to do two things -- One, thank him for applying to get me NHL credentials (I’ll occassionally submit pieces on the Coyotes for his newsletter, in exchange), and two, plug his new book Who’s Better: Rangers, Devils, Islanders or the Flyers? (Hint: it’s not the Rangers)
It’s a full comparison of each team’s history, everything from goaltending to tough guys to best Cup-winning team. Oh, and I wrote the story of Dad’s end-to-end rush against the Rangers for Stan. So, you know… that was sorta cool.
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Have a great weekend folks. Oh, and watch this. I legitimately “lol’ed”:
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Stanley Cup Frontrunners
Contributing to the Power Rankings for USA Today each couple weeks really makes me think about where teams in the NHL are at. These are the left-over thought nuggets from this weeks edition.
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Carolina - In last years playoffs, Bourne’s Blog became a forum for a quality back and forth with some of the Carolina faithful about their team (mostly because I was treating the ‘Canes like I’ve been treating Phoenix this year), and somewhere along the way I got convinced that they weren’t all that bad. It made sense that they wouldn’t be – Eric Staal is worthy of having a team built around him, Cam Ward is one of the best goalies in the NHL, and I thought Paul Maurice was a pretty good coach.
When we did our pre-season predictions, we got some static about the lack of Carolina love. I had debated whether or not to include them, but we were only asked to pick division and conference winners, not playoff teams, so it made no sense to mention them. Playoffs, yes, top team, no.
So what the f**k is going on down there?
And now the two players I mentioned before are hurt? They’re worse than my Isles? The Leafs? Hit that “comment” button ‘Canes fans. Explain yourselves.
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I can’t help but think that there’s about a 20% chance the Cup winner comes out of the Western Conference this year.
Who looks like a Cup threat right now? I mean, you can say the Colorado Avalanche, but you don’t mean that. You’re aware they’re still a “good young team”, right? It’s okay to say that they’re legit. Tons of up-and-coming talent. But I don’t see a whole lot of “crap, I don’t want to play that team in playoffs” on their roster. I do see a whole lot of “crap, I really don’t feel like playing this mid-season game, can someone get a leash on Wolski? Stastny? O’Reilly? Duchene? CAN SOMEONE GET A BELL ON DUCHENE!??”
Name another threat with a straight face right now.
The Sharks?
I’d agree, if they didn’t play in the the Pacific Division, or as it’s better known, the ”try-to-gage-a-team-in-a-division-with-LA-Phoenix-and-Dallas” group. Heatley was a massive pick-up. Fine. He makes them the West’s best hope until Chicago inevitably wakes from it’s slumber. But there’s still something that doesn’t feel right about calling the Sharks a Cup contender. What does it mean that when I picture the Pacific Division, I picture a train going over some old wooden tressel bridge, only nobody knows the wood is rotten beneath? I feel like every passing train (game?) is one closer to the utter collapse of the whole thing. Combine that with a history of playoff failure, and it’s hard to be too sold on the Teal Trainwrecks Titans.
I know you can only beat the teams you play (the Boise State football problem), it’s just tough to tell if they’re actually good, or playing bad opponents. But, they will be a top three seed again, so here’s to hoping that they can break the same mold they built.
How about this: If I were to say “for a thousand dollars, will the Stanley Cup come out of the Western Conference, or the Atlantic Division?” - which one are you picking?
Atlantic Division
| GP | W | L | OT | Pts | GF | GA | Home | Away | L10 | Streak | |
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17 | 12 | 5 | 0 | 24 | 54 | 44 | 5-3-0 | 7-2-0 | 6-4-0 | Lost 2 |
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15 | 11 | 4 | 0 | 22 | 39 | 33 | 3-4-0 | 8-0-0 | 8-2-0 | Won 5 |
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18 | 10 | 7 | 1 | 21 | 56 | 48 | 6-2-0 | 4-5-1 | 3-6-1 | Lost 1 |
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14 | 9 | 4 | 1 | 19 | 52 | 37 | 6-2-1 | 3-2-0 | 6-3-1 | Won 4 |
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17 | 6 | 6 | 5 | 17 | 44 | 50 | 5-2-2 | 1-4-3 | 5-3-2 | Won 1 |
You know what I’d pick? I’d pick to complain that it’s NO WONDER THE ISLES STRUGGLE SO BAD.
This is what makes the NHL playoffs so great. It’s not accurate to gage a team based strictly on their record, since head-to-head is the only undeniable measuring stick for “who’s-better-than-who”. In the ever-popular BCS, strength of schedule is a heavy factory in determining the best teams. Fortunately for us, the NHL has a playoff format, so we actually get to watch the “I wonder who’s actually better” questions play out.
And who’s actually better?
The Stanley Cup Champion Penguins, my friend. That’s not just picking the obvious – at this point in the season, it’s picking correctly.
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And last, I wanted to give a shout-out to the reader who read my USA Today article, found my blog, tracked down my email, then wrote me the following email, which is printed below, unedited:
“you smoke pickle”
And so, I laughed.
Round Three
Alright everyone, conference finals!
Despite being down to one game a night, I’ll still be in a committed relationship with my Sharp Aquos. Here’s what I see going down in part three of Stanley’s Saga:
(2)Detroit Red Wings vs. (4) Chicago Blackhawks
I. Am. Pumped about this series. It could be a wonderful thriller - but here’s my concern:
It may not be that close.
For those of you who watch basketball, the defending camps are the Boston Celtics. This year, they’re minus KG and in general, not very good. But they keep that win-train packed with coal and cruise along nonetheless, because they’ve won before. You really do grow more comfortable in difficult situations when you’ve been through it before.
The Red Wings have the same knowledge and comfort, with the small difference that they’re really good. And well coached.
The hawks are well coached too, but man, do they seem fragile. Did anybody watch the interviews by the young guns talking about this series? These guys seemed more vulnerable than Luongo in a big game (ooooo, totally kidding Canucks fans, just thought I’d try to alienate another fan base).
The Hawks only chance to win is to get off to a great start in the series. If they fall behind, I don’t see them having the confidence to make the same bounce-back they did in the last round.
Sometimes when you know you’re up against a better team, the guys on the lesser team - when it’s just them and a buddy - will openly admit “we’re f***ed”.
Wings in five.
(4) Pittsburgh Penguins vs. (6)Carolina Whalers
Dear Matt (and the rest of the Canes fan),
Granted, your team had Ron Francis, the least-celebrated great player in NHL history (I dare anyone to argue that).
Beyond him, as you know, I find your team inherently unlikeable. I started out by refusing to comment on whatever series they were involved in. But now they’re in a third one. Sigh…
If they win the cup, I vow to write a long, scintillating piece for The Hockey News on how awesome they are, scintillation not included. Any other result… and I plan to continue to drag them through the mud. I just can’t help it.
Sincerely,
jb
This series:
Sadly, the Canes are nicely tailored for playoff hockey. The good news is, they were nicely tailored for playoff hockey in 90′s.
Yes, again, I will be betting against Carolina. It’s like “The Secret” – if I just keep sending out what I want, it will come to me. Did I reference “The Secret”? Yes. That’s how desperately I want Pittsburgh to win.
Fancy-pants Malkin is gonna wake up, and Sid is going to produce less, but regardless, he’s still a constant threat.
This series goes six, with the 
Pens taking it in front of Benedict Cower (or was it Bill?), and when that happens, I won’t have to carve my name next to “Brooks was here”.
Go Away's and Hurray's
Since day one of this years playoffs, I’ve been hating on the ‘Canes.
Today will be no different.
For one, I’m in no danger of upsetting any readers because nobody outside of Raleigh-Durham likes them. This year, they’ve taken their mediocre uni’s, players I don’t know and fans who think a red line is how you know your NASCAR engine is revving to high through Boston and New Jersey.
Impressive feats. They’ve hurt the leagues chances at an all-original six finals. They’ve crushed a Boston fan base who deserved some post-season success. And worst of all? They used to be the Hartford Whalers. I realize it’s cool now to claim you liked the Nordiques, Whalers and Jets, but I loathed every one of those teams.
So like I was saying, congrats to the Carolina Hurricanes.
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Good on ya Red Wings. There is more parity in hockey than baseball, basketball or football, and for the Wings to be this good for this long is a testament to their organization.
Someone is doing something right, especially when they continue to do it with a goaltender who finished this regular season 41st in GAA, and 45th in save percentaege. I literally had to hit “next” on the list of top 30 goaltenders to find his stats.
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So, I’ve had my first serious Obama disappointment. After all his campaigning about eliminating the stupid “don’t ask, don’t tell” military policy, he bailed and is continuing on with it, recently letting one of the US’s mere 54 Arabic translators go. As Jon Stewart mentioned, “near drowning 80-some people is morally justifiable for the military, but if you have a boyfriend… ho ho ho, time to go”.
“You can make ‘em talk, but you can’t make ‘em talk English.”
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I love The Roots as a band. Always have. Wasn’t sure what to make of them being on the Jimmy Fallon show, but now I’m sold. They make it tick.
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What the broken bats is going on with David Ortiz? Did he back off the “vitamin injections” with this new drug testing chaos? Homie went 0 for 7 last night, stranding TWELVE runners in a 5-4 Sox loss. That ain’t good.
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So, I’m a little concerned that as it gets to be summer, I’m going to hate my computer more. I gotta golf today. If you haven’t been to Kelowna, BC in the spring, you’re missing out.
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I think the hosts of Canada’s SportsCentre might be funnier than the US’s SportsCenter. Unless it’s Scott Van Pelt and Kenny Mayne, in which case nobody is funnier… but the most part, I’ll give the nod to Canada.
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Okay, that’s all for today folks! Hockey starts back up on Sunday, so in the meantime I’ll be keeping it random! Or will I….
I'm a hockey player turned writer. After playing for Alaska Anchorage in the WCHA (NCAA), I carried on with an NHL tryout (New York Islanders in 2007) before spending a couple seasons in the AHL/ECHL (last year was 2008-09). My father, Bob Bourne, won four Stanley Cups with the Islanders in the '80's, as did my fiancee's dad, Clark Gillies. I'm now the web editor for theScore's hockey blog "Backhand Shelf."
