Inside The Dressing Room: Kangaroo Court & Apologies

I’ve written before about players putting money towards the team pot for big wins.  In that bit, I danced around the best aspect of raising that year-end fund (which, of course, goes to a pizza and pop party that definitely wouldn’t involve, say, a strip club). 

Kangaroo Court.

A lot of people are familar with the concept, as a lot of organizations use them as a fun revenue generator.

At the professional level, it’s fun, and a decent amount of money changes hands (another reason why it’s a bitch getting traded or cut – guys party on the pot you chipped in to).  At the college level, it’s the highlight of the freaking week, and max fines are only $3 (save for broken team rules, like $15 for being late, etc.).

Random pic of my boy Chuck bout to unload a left, cause when I think of someone I wanna fine, he comes up.

How it works is simple – the dry erase board is hung somewhere visible in the room.  The format is basic: when you want to fine a teammate, you write his number under “fined” and your own under “by”.

16  -  12

No need to disclose topics, or any of the who/what/why/when/where/how circumstances of the fine-able offense until court comes around.

Needless to say, on Mondays, a lot of numbers go up on the board from the weekend.  Half the fun is harrassing the guy you’re fining, or vice versa.  If you’re on the “fined” side, it’s not the money you’re stressed about, it’s the public condemnation/humiliation/verbal-beat-down (Strictly totally clever, Shakespearian witticisms.  Yep.  Hardly any gay sex jokes.). 

What did I ever do to you?  Fine then, I’m fining you for _________ (insert petty thing that’d never stick).

The rule is, you can’t fine someone for something that happened previous to the last Kangaroo Court session, which means you have to get away with whatever it is you did for a full week.

When court rolls around post-practice, the fun begins.  In college, the seniors are the jury, in pro, the captains.  Whoever is running court grabs the board, and it begins. 

First up, 16 is being fined by number 12.  State your case.

You have to save your best stories for court, preferably bar stories, as you have the whole teams attention.  There’s always some gem about a guy throwing a line at someone’s girlfriend, buying drinks for a woman of questionable repute or any other form of debauchery that’s deemed to have crossed the line.  (God I want to tell the photo evidence story.  We’ll all have to go for drinks some time so I can.  All of us.)

The person being crucified, upon just finding out what he did wrong (okay, sometimes you know), has to defend himself to the team and the jury.  Then, the ruling comes in, from no fine to three bucks (it’s not about the money, you may have guessed).  In pro, the numbers are higher, but it’s still beside the point.

College is an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything, and I can’t remember ever laughing harder at any point during my four years than I did during those trials.  Mostly cause I never did anything fine-worthy, and was always on the fun side of it.  Which, I can assure you, because it’s my blog, and I have the power to delete comments.  MUAH-HA-HAAAA.

*****

You know what’s crazy that a lot of fans never get to see?  Guys that apologize to the whole team between periods.

Nate the Great

Nathan Lawson, the amazing/underrated goaltender of the Bridgeport Sound Tigers was always the first person to own up to a bad goal – Sorry about that one guys, I gotta have that.  I’ll be better in the third, pick me up – which is just so refreshing.  Plenty of goalies tend to believe (or at least act) like they’ve never given up a bad goal, so when you get a good guy like that, you really want to work for him, you know?

It happens after bad penalties too, at the end of a period – My bad guys, that was stupid – kill this thing off for me and lets get back on ‘em.

Of course, then there’s the guys who apologize, then go out and do the same thing over and over, which sort of takes the value out of their words.  You know who doesn’t strike me as an apologizer?  Matt Cooke.  Just a thought.

Anyways, that’s all the totally random dressing room stuff I’ve got for today.  Thanks for the support – the site is really blowing up the last couple weeks.  You just wait to see how much traffic we get on here for the first round of playoffs when the Islanders play the Caps!  Yeah!  Islande….no?  Okay, probably not.

The Call-Up I Should’ve Declined

Here’s my favourite call-up story:

As you probably know by now, I’m engaged to Clark Gillies Daughter, Brianna.

At the time of this story, I was playing for the Utah Grizzlies of the ECHL (that’s me on the left, shortly before my coach became the 64th one I’ve had tell me to smile less.  Hey, I like hockey), and she was finishing her Masters at Stonybrook University, interning and taking classes to become an Occupational Therapist.  Finding time to be together was tough.

Coincidentally, my team had a homestand over Valentines Day – being that Bri was probably going to be said Valentine, she adjusted her schedule (read: skipped classes) to come out on the Friday, and booked her trip to return home on the Sunday.  Not a whole lotta time, but when you see each other once every Wayne Primeau goal, you take what you can get.

The best case scenario for me was to get called up and play in Bridgeport, which was a 70 minute drive from her parents place on Long Island.  My slow offensive start that year wasn’t exactly helping our cause.  But, I had started to pick it up, and we committed to a weekend together in Salt Lake City until Bridgeport needed a right winger… not that we were wishing for their bus to roll or anything (a horrible truth about playing in a farm system).

Her trip took her through Chicago and got to Salt Lake around nine PM, so I had gone to dinner with Jordy Hart, which is when she called.

“No complications or delays in Chicago, just boarding to get outta here babe!”

Beautiful.

I headed home to tidy the place, as is the standard panic move of a dude living with two other dudes who’s previous dude places were dude dorms or with their parents.

About 30 minutes later and five minutes from my place, I got the call from our coach:

I was going up.

I was to drive to the rink, pack my gear, get home, pack a bag and some suits, and my flight was to leave at ten PM.  I’d get in to La Guardia around 4 AM EST or so, hop in the car they sent, and get driven the 90 minutes to Connecticut, either to a hotel, or to make the money-saving move of going directly to the rink for practice (where I was told I could sleep on the couch in the dressing room for a few hours).   ….Thanks.

Oh, and there was that one other minor complication:  Bri was still in the air. 

And where had she departed from?  You guessed it:  La Guardia.  Well isn’t this special.

I was panicked.

I was plotting.

I did the only thing I could do – you can’t turn down a call-up.  I packed my stuff up, and headed to the airport.  I bought her a one-way flight (thank god there were seats) on my flight (annnnd then I was broke), and waited for her to land.

By the time her flight landed and she made it off, it was 9:15 – 45 minutes ’til her return flight, and there I was – hockey bag, sticks, duffle bag, suit bag, and holding her ticket.  No long awaited run and hug.  Minimal smiling.  My travel-weary, bummed out girlfriend cried. 

But I mean… this is a good thing… right?

We flew through the night to La Guardia, and Bri wasn’t willing to give up on our weekend.  Almost 24 hours later, she arrived with me at the hotel, where we dropped our stuff off, and I carried on to the rink, taking the only ride I could get, the sent car.

At least when the weekend was over, I’d still be close by, right?

I barely had time to see Bri over the next day or so before she had to head home, but we were happy because I’d be close.  A week later, I travelled with Bridgeport to Portland, so Bri wasn’t able to drive up on the weekend, but we had made plans for her to come up after work the following Monday. 

After the Portland game, we were standing in line at Tim Hortons, grabbing a snack for the road. I was ahead of coach Jack Capuano in the line, when this conversation happens:

“Boahny (Boston accent for Bourny) – Yoah goin’ t’ the ahll-stahh game tomorrow, aight?  When we get back, yoah flights at seven outta La Guahdia, the cah will pick you up just aftah three.”  Yup, A.M.

“Oh.  OH.  Okay….”  *thinking* “Was that just weirdest send-down ever?“  I had a hunch I wasn’t being flown back to Bridgeport after the game.  I was right.

The ECHL all-star game was in Stockton, California – not so close to New York, for you geography buffs.  After the full day of travel, I was the last guy to arrive.  Some of the players were fully dressed for the skills competition, taking place in 20 minutes – that’s how tight my cross-continent adventure was.  I was gonna have to bust it to get my gear on in time for this thing to start.

I literally didn’t even know:  What fucking event am I in?

I checked the schedule, hoping for a little time to warm up and a little information about what I was to be doing.  And there is was, in 17 minutes:

FIRST EVENT, 7:00 START
PUCK HANDLING/AGILITY SKATE

FIRST UP:  JUSTIN BOURNE

*****

A few pictures from our call-up:

(1) Had airport security take this picture after they red-flagged us to SEARCH BOTH OUR BAGS.

(2) St. Patty’s Day with my roomate after getting called up the second time for a couple months, Kip Brennan.

(3) Bri and I get artsy by this awesome old building.

(4) This thoughtful pic look familiar?

(5) Not a bad ocean view from our spot on the Sound.

(6) Didn’t have my sticks when I first got called up – what was meant to be up around the goalies ears was up around the middle of his logo.  Sighhhhh…..

Nathan Lawson (AKA Nate the Great)

The following article was written for NHL.com when Lawson was to make his NHL debut last season.  I’ve decided to tweak it, and run it on my own blog after Lawson played his first NHL exhibition game last night.

Nathan Lawson has given me more “is this guy serious?” moments than Flava Flav, starting with his first recruiting trip when he told me “It says Nate the Great on my helmet for a reason.” 

Lookin' sharp in the Seawolves gear

That was the first time I’ve seen his smirk – the “I’m aware that sounded ridiculously cocky, so I’m smirking to show that I’m aware of that… but it doesn’t mean I don’t mean it”  smirk.

I’ve shaken my head in disbelief, and spent more time discussing his on-ice antics than it ever took for him to perform them.  From the three years we spent as teammates in college to the one together as professionals, the guy has been a constant conversation piece.

The University of Alaska Anchorage has always had great goaltending.  Being comparatively under-talented in the WCHA has meant that the Seawolves have needed strength in net to stay competitive.  So when Nathan Lawson committed to our school, it meant big expectations on the kid.  And he exceeded them.

“Laws” is a bit quirky, as goalies tend to be.  And when I say quirky, I mean borderline nuts (but in a light-hearted, happily neurotic sort of way).  Watch him in pre-game warm-ups.  Some guys have routines, Lawson has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  Upsetting his pre-game routine is dangerous and ill-advised.  He’ll de-friend you in real life like its Facebook. 

To start the game, and before every period, he skates to the bench, takes his helmet off and stares straight ahead.  While looking completely crazy (like there’s any other way to do this), he unscrews the lid on a water bottle, leans back and dumps the full contents over his head, helmet and glove, which is placed behind his head.  It’s similar to the Lebron James chalk throw, just with more crazy and less fanfare.

That pose, with good angles... frustrating as a shooter

Lawson left college a year early to give the pro ranks a try.  I was playing for Utah in the ECHL at the time, and Nate was in Phoenix, our first opponent of the season.  One start and one shutout later, he was on his way.  But as a goalie, keeping a spot on professional teams is a totally different situation.  There’s only room for two per team, so in an NHL/AHL/ECHL organization, that means six goalie jobs.  When a seventh one comes in as part of an NHL deal, there’s a trickle-down effect.

The leap between the ECHL and AHL isn’t all that huge, and the gap between the AHL and NHL is even smaller. A thin line separates many players – and sometimes all it takes is one scout, one GM or one coach to push for a player and create the opportunity for them to thrive.  The line is even thinner for goaltenders, and sometimes the difference between a career-ending cut in the ECHL and making the NHL is that one opportunity.

In Utah, our coach called me early in the season and said “I see this Lawson kid is on waivers. Is he any good?”  After giving Lawson a review that Paula Abdul would call “too generous,” Nate was a Utah Grizzly. 

Nice highlights.

Like many others, all the guy needed was the right opportunity.  Nathan’s rookie season in Utah was solid, showing what many of us already knew – that he’s the real deal.  And he joined the Isles organization at the right time, with Rick DiPietro’s injuries the past couple seasons. An unfortunate part of minor league hockey is having to root for other people’s injuries to get your chance.

From that, the “trickle-up” effect gave Lawson the American League opportunity he deserved last season, and he capitalized on it.  In 31 games, Laws went 19-9 with a 2.16 goals-against-average and a .927 save percentage.  All-Rookie Team starter.  Not bad, right?

Even the Islanders seem confused about their situation in goal these days, but after signing Biron and Roloson, they remembered to sign Laws.  Had Bridgeport not needed him so badly during their stretch run last year, he probably would have seen NHL games – an odd reason to have to miss your chance at games in “the show”, really.

#52 - The guy's an original

The reason Nathan Lawson is a stud in net is simply this:  He thinks ahead of the game.  Not in milliseconds, or seconds, but whole plays.  You can watch a Nathan Lawson goaltended game and think “Wow, he had an easy night.”  But it wouldn’t have looked that way had another tender been in net.  Other goalies are making diving glove says, Hasek-esque rolls and desperate scrambles.  Nate is square, up quick, and positional.  He’s usually so crisply controlled that he rarely needs to do anything SportsCenter worthy.

The nice part about Nate though, is that if he needs the spectacular save, it’s in his arsenal.  He has sharp post-to-post speed to go with his strongest attribute, his ability to play the puck.  Like Marty Turco of the Dallas, Nate is often used as a sixth defenseman; a guy to go back on dump-ins and make outlet passes.  He springs players on breakaways, and ices the puck on the penalty kill.

But fans will love his Sean Avery-like antics in the crease best. Lawson is the first goalie I’ve played with who can be a Darcy Tucker level agitator.  Teams love to hate him.  He is the uncompromising evil villain to them, and they can’t let it go.  Often, in college, we would talk to players on the opposing team after the game, maybe out at the bar, or just in the hallway.

In my beloved Isles colours. Trippy.

“What was with that cross-check in my back?” is fine fodder for conversation, and everyone has a good laugh and lets it go. 

They can’t let go of Laws.  They don’t even want to let it go.  They’d ask:  “What’s he really like?  Is he actually that cocky?  He thinks he’s just the best doesn’t he?”

And Laws loves it.  He plays better when he’s fired up like that.  Guys crash his crease, spray him with snow, fall on him after whistles.  Laws dives when he gets clipped and hustles the refs between whistles.  His home fans adore him and opponent’s fans loathe him. 

Laws played in his first NHL exhibition game last night.  I have no doubt he’ll end up with 1,000 new fans and 10,000 new enemies around the league in no time.

NHL teams don’t like to take risks on players who aren’t drafted, partly because it reflects poorly on their scouts.  But this is a situation for somebody in the organization to look great, discovering a diamond in the rough.  If Laws gets enough games to get comfortable in those Islander colors, I’d bet Isles fans would get awfully comfortable with him too.

It didn’t take me long.

Lawson Translation

The Islanders have signed a third starter, Martin Biron, to a one year, $1.4 million dollar contract.  I just. don’t. get it.

So then, we’re admitting DiPietro is beyond being a functioning goalie, right?

I mean, it makes no sense to sign someone to well over a million dollars if you intend for them to play in the AHL.  And we aren’t going to trade Biron or Roloson, both of whom we just signed, or we simply wouldn’t have signed them.  So this was the Islanders admitting DP is a no-go, wasn’t it?

Lawson reads the play before you do, and plays the puck like Marty Turco

The Sound Tigers had a stud in net last year in Nathan Lawson, who didn’t see NHL games at the end of the AHL season strictly because the BPST’s needed him too bad (truf).  If they were looking to lock up a talented kid with scads of potential starter for the Sound Tigers, they had Lawson in their hands (statline: 2.16 GAA, .927 Save %, 19 wins, 9 losses -- better than Mannino in every category).  Who knows if he’ll sign without getting a NHL -- AHL two way, which the Isles won’t do (15 years looked crazy, but 4 NHL goalie contracts looks bat-shit crazy).  So should we shuffle Laws into the “Islanders squandered talent” bin?  They better at least lock him up for Bridgeport somehow, and soon… or someone will.

*****

Ahhh, the Red Sox got rid of Julio Lugo, at last.  He never really fit in there, did he?  Never quite had the swagger, always kinda looked weak.  I’m sure Sawks fans shed zero tears, and are already demanding results of the new guys.

By the way, has the Sox morphing into the Yankees over this decade turned anyone else off?  So much for the scrappy underdog taking down those Rockefeller-esque Yankees.  They’re just poured outta the same mold at this point.

*****

Like me, you may find it hard to sit through 36 seconds of “metal”, or whatever we’re calling that genre of “music”, so you may want to mute this.  I think I actually like it better with sound though.

“

*****

So good news, for those of you who have subscribed to the blog.  You’re about to get your first bonus offering from Bourne’s Blog!  I’m going to take questions from now until the Hockey Greats Fantasy Camp that you may have for any of our ex-NHL stars, ask those questions, and do a fun little question and answer write up for you.  I think I may do this throughout the year with current NHLers that I’m still in touch with too.

I feel safer when he wears gloves.

So, you have your pick, ask a question to any of the following:  Battlin’ Billy Smith, Dave Semenko, Bryan Trottier, Dale Hawerchuk, Doug Bodger, Steve Shutt, Ron Flockhart, Cliff Ronning, Larry Melnyk, Gary Nylund, Clark Gillies, or of course, my Dad.

Two weeks from now that crew will be on the ice with our guests, pulling groins, tweaking backs, and generally keeping ibuprofen providers in business.  Lookin’ forward to it!