Love-of-Team Tilts and The Skate-By

When Clark Gillies is your Dad, you can say this:

During the Coyotes/Lightnight game, Paul Bissonnette fought Matt Walker (first names learned after extensive Googling).  Bri, Clarks daughter and my fiance, says “Oh…. oh this is awkward.  I can’t watch.  *glancing through fingers* …Just so embarrassing…” 

I laughed my ass off.  Cause really… a fight where two semi-mad guys have good defensive jersey holds…. ain’t no Clark Gillies tilt (Bossy gets run in the corner just before the fight - long version is on YouTube): 

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And actually, that video is a nice intro to this weeks USA Today column.  I write a bit of a theory on why we’re seeing more players get their cantaloupe’s cracked with no suspension and rarely a real follow-up fight.  Enjoy.

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I hate the “goal-score skate-by”.

HATE IT.

There’s no quicker way for your teammates to build lingering resentment towards you than to score a goal, and insist on skating somewhere past the closest guy to get your extra four seconds of glory.  Curtis Glencross, my teammate in Alaska, was the king of this.  He’d skate by your open arms after a back-door pass he tapped in to go jump into the glass.  God, he loved him some glass jump.

This was not me.  The whole fun of the celebration is the stupid nonsensical shit that gets said in the pile anyways.  Especially in college, where skating down the bench is allowed -- guys are so fired up half they time they hustle more than they did on the actual goal.

But watching the NHL today, there’s still a large number of (*cough*euros*cough*) people doing the skate-by.  Which is why I was extremely happy to see the Penguins overtime winner the other day.  Dupuis scores, starts to skate mach six in the other direction, realizes that Staal went behind the net, stole the puck and passed it to him, and throws on the breaks.  I officially like Dupuis now.  Showed he has a conscience.

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What a finish to that game.  You know it’s a dangerous 3 on 2 when Sidney Crosby has the least dangerous shot on the rush.  Attaway Billy G.

The One With Josh Ciocco

My favourite comment of yesterday didn’t come on the blog, but courtesy my fiance.  I was grabbing a quote for an upcoming article via text from a guy I respect and admire, and she dropped:  ”Did you just send a smiley-face to Bill Guerin?” on me.  Man, when you put that in context, it really does sound inappropriately fruity.

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UAA jerseys were style at it's finest. I just love 'em.

Commentor “Mike” asked a question about gear, to which I responded that a few of my thoughts on gear (on style, really), can be found here from about ten days ago on hockeyprimetime.com.  After explaining to him that I wasn’t a “gear bitch”, the term used to refer to guys who always need their gear fixed, new, changed or something, our trainer (PD) from college backed me, and the rest of my college class up here (especially Mark Smith, right Peeds?  That guy would’ve used a field hockey stick if that’s what you gave him.)

In keeping with the style and gear theme, the following is a great comment from a former teammate in Josh Ciocco.  But first, let me give a you quick bio on the guy:

Josh and I were both right wingers in Vernon.  Josh was probably the toughest 5’10″ (generous?) hockey player I’ve ever played with, and he could play the game too (in fact, if I recall, you didn’t love the fighting part?)  I was probably the softest 6’2″ (generous?) hockey player you’d ever seen, but I could play too (thank god).  The University of New Hampshire liked us both.  They flew me down to tour the campus.  Apparently, for their right winger spot, they wanted 5’10″, tough and talented, as opposed to 6’2″, talented and deathly afraid of violence (nah, it’s cool man, we almost made the frozen four in Alaska too, enjoy the scholarship).

Making the cage cool is like making a seatbelt cool - thus, style is tough in collge.

{Semi-tangent here, for Josh – the one game they came to watch us both, I hit you with a breakaway pass in overtime for the game winner (lacrosse play), and you had a scholarship there within weeks. The “donate” button is on the right.}

He became the captain there (oooo congratu-frickin-lations), played pro, blah blah.  Where this is headed, is that it’s nice to find a good bitching partner.  There’s a bitching club on every team, really.  They get really big when the coach is an ass, or the team is losing.  It’s cathartic, like therapy.  And Josh and I could bitch like no other.  In fact, when we met in a pro game four years later, we went out and did the exact same thing.  But anyways, here’s how the world of gear and style went down at UNH:

“At UNH, my roomates and I played bad style poker for like, three weeks. We would play blind hands of poker, if you won, you were out, the last one in, or the “loser”, would have to have some sort of bad style in practice the next day. We would have one loser for each game, and we would play multiple games for bad style. You hit the nail on the head with most of them, but these were the topics we went with…Tape your tuuks black, Full tuck on the jersey, neck guard or turtle neck, socks pulled over the heels, klima tape job on the stick, and no tape on sock-shin pads so they’re falling all over the place. Sometimes there would be multiple losers, im laughing here picturing Jacob Mcflikier take to the ice with black tuuks, a fully tucked jersey, and socks over the heels…..On a side note, you know how you write notes on the whiteboard to the trainer and sign your number under it? example, “Can I please get a new stick, thanks, 14″ I used to love writing the note, “can I please get a neck guard for the game tomorrow, thanks, “someone elses number” good times.”

That was a priceless move, the requesting of something for someone else.  “A smaller cup, 18″ or for a right-handed linemate who can’t score “left-handed stiff-flex Sakic curve, 17″.

And last, from the Ciocco files, a testament to both of our getting older (and his getting whipped):

I love animals.  I frequently run animal pictures on my blog.  Josh’s girlfriend’s dog (why aren’t you two crazy kids married yet?  Would you ask her that for me?) is in a cute contest, and is giving the money to charity.  Something about fighting animal cruelty, I forget.  Rest assured it’s a real one (or maybe it was “the human fund”…).  Third prize is $500, second is $5,000, and first is A MILLION STUPID CUTENESS RELATED DOLLARS.

This is Merlin the Puggle:

You're the one who wanted "my dog is in a cuteness competition" published, not me.

If you think he’s cute, and I do, follow this link and give him your vote!

The Coyotes, Guerin, And The Mets

I’m not sure why the sports networks are so insistent on using Redfield T. Baum’s full name, Redfield T.Baum, but it appears the guy made exactly the decision I needed down in Phoenix, shooting down vacant-eyed DingleBerry inventor Jim Balsillie.

As I mentioned earlier, I met with the head of the ‘Yotes marketing department, Mike Bucek, and still hold some hopes of being a part of their staff.  There’s probably easier jobs than marketing the Coyotes right now, like being a deep-sea diver without oxygen, but I’m excited about the potential challenge.

“Your 2009-2010 Phoenix Coyotes: Now offering small 401(k) contributions to season ticket holders!”

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Anybody happen to catch Guerin’s interview at the Penguins Stanley Cup parade?

He represented everything the playoffs does to a guy.  Pale, haggard, and hung-the-f**k-over.  He sounded like he started hacking darts the second the final buzzer went, and finished the pack right before his morning baileys and coffee.  Man, champagne hangovers must suck when you’re trying to keep up with 20 year olds.

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And lastly, for today, I’d like to thank the Mets for reinforcing what they’ve already made clear: being a fan is a struggle.  Not the way being an Islanders fan is.  Being an Isles fan, you know there is zero Cup hopes by November, and you start finding little positives and hopes for the future.

The Mets tease you, string you along with moments of greatness, and just when you let down your guard — wham!  Dropped ball by Castillo, loss to the Skankees, beatdown loss to the Skankees, I hope that hurt you stupid mook Mets fan.  It did.  Thanks for that.

Simply Opinions

My immediate reaction to Tom Daschle withdrawing his nomination for head of US health was frustration.  I felt like media scrutiny in the US had forced the administration to eliminate the most qualified candidate.  Everybody seemed pretty excited about health care reform, and they had the perfect guy for the job.  Well, good.

But the more I think about it…. taxes?  You didn’t pay your taxes?  Whatever the figure was (I think it was around a whopping $128,000), it was owed “over a period of years”.  I have to believe as a government employee taxes is a topic that comes up on occasion.  And, you know you need to have them square if you hope to achieve higher office.  Both Daschle and Geithner, when made aware of their tax debts, just paid the balance off like it was a late cell phone bill.  It drives me nuts that the US could possibly have a less successful health policy because 1 guy is smart enough to make the right changes, yet dumb enough to try to shirk tax payments.  Straighten up.

While I’m stringing people up for being fools, let’s hang Clemens.  Roger Clemens at age 40 looked like a billboard throwing a golf ball.  Okay, you did steroids, fine.  Everything about his career was hall-of-fame, and so he was placed on the appropriate pedestal.  When he sat at home and watched Sammy “Rosetta Stone”  Sosa and Pierre Mark McGuire forget English and commit perjury respectively, he must have been just. so. happy. it wasn’t him.  So when things unfolded for him, you would think he’d have learned something.

Roger was too attached to his stats and fame to place his future and family first.  Had he just come out and said “I did steroids” when this all started, he would have faced minor punishment, and a tarnished image.  Hell, when Clemens started doing the drugs there wasn’t a policy in baseball against it, who could blame him for keeping up with the (Chipper) Jonses? 

Now Roger Clemens has commited perjury too, and could potentially see jail time.  His family must really appreciate his priorities.  It’s embarrassing watching a legend lie, like a child caught crayon-in-hand against the wall saying they didn’t do it.  And sidenote: what kind of life were these guys living?  Their wives were comparing implants at a party?  Nothing like a dose of reality when that reality is 1 hour sunshine time once a day.  At least he’s really strong.

On the sports theme, I intend to write an article about my time at Islanders main camp some day.  From my experiences, the players who have achieved actual success in the NHL are ones who are the least prone to point out their talents.  Older players like Bill Guerin and Doug Weight may be a constant topic of forum debate for fans (are they worth the money), but the quick answer is that they’ve earned it.  Bill Guerin is your old-school, ultra classy player, who commands respect and gives it back.  The Islanders are heavy on super-young talent, and having a guy like Guerin there to teach them, if nothing else, is worth his salary and more.