Hey, Quick Question…

This whole Ben Roethlisberger sex scandal is just so odd, isn’t it?

I mean, you never quite know how to take it when you hear of a professional athlete getting acused of something so serious.  Or at least I don’t.

Naturally, we start by juding their prior behaviour.  You can pick through Ben’s history with tweezers and not find drama.  But that doesn’t mean he didn’t do it.

As her account goes, she was the concierge at his hotel (he was at some golf event in Lake Tahoe), and he asked her to step into his room to look at his broken TV.  She comes in, and they (allegedly) have sex that only one person wanted to have, which, is sorta frowned upon by every person ever (not to make light of a potentially serious crime). 

It’s tough to form opinions on this stuff, because if he really did it, what an awful, sick, burn-in-hell human it turns out he is.  But if he didn’t do it, it still sucks for him - once “accused of rape” is on your resume, it always kinda mars your reputation, convicted or not.  It’s just such a shady situation.  It doesn’t help her case that you could see why she’d make something like that up if it turns out that she is slightly off-in-the-head.   There’s the national attention, plus, the guy is loaded.

I don’t think Ben’s guilty, for two reasons:  One, his prior record of misbehaving (never, aside from a sober motorcycle crash), and two, the fact that she’s listed something like eight people as defendants in a rape case, which unfortunately starts her off on the crazy-looking foot.

And other times, I think, wait… Isn’t my blog way too light-hearted for a topic like this?  And it is.  So I apologize.  Won’t happen again.  Let’s ask questions about more pressing issues…

*****

One: Is there any stress that comes on quicker and stronger than being in the right lane with a “right lane must turn” sign (let alone the ominous “right lane ENDS” signs)?  Especially with the cars to your left being in a steady, packed line?  Sheer panic.  Inner-skull pandemonium.

Two:  Why won’t the CFL just accept its role as an NFL farm system?  Everything would work a whole lot smoother (and develop more players, and better), if they just used a normal sized ball, and had an appropriate sized field.  Like adults do.  Know your role, CFL.  Right?

Ay, my father was a tree.

Three:  Can you watch the pirate (with the four wood limbs) on family guy and not laugh?

Four:  What baseball player would depress you the most to find out did steroids during their career?  Gotta be Cal Ripken, doesn’t it?  Mr. Iron Man himself?

Five:  Is there any word in our language more homosexual word than the word ”prancing” (especially in fuschia)?  Not really the way any male wants any of his movements described.  Just a thought.

Ha, so yeah, there’s a non-hockey pop quiz for today.  Enjoy the lull and enjoy the sun, before you know it’ll be strong coffee, slapshots and saves allll over again.

Justin's Pre-Game Prattle

Superrrbowwwllll Sunday!  Here’s how I’m gonna set today up:

There are some downsides.  I’m still couch ridden.  This means that I’m going to be watching the game alone in my apartment on my  27 inch round screen (I’m not sure what you call old tv’s, but I can assure you, its not a flat screen).  The major plus here is that I’ll actually get to watch the game.  No distractions. 

Steelers Cardinals at 6 PM eastern.  During the regular season, I vowed to never watch another Steelers game.  It’s a tedious formula isn’t it?  Run 3 yards, run 4 yards, run 2 yards, punt.  Defensive stand.  Run 3 yards, run 2 yards, run 4 yards, punt.  Final score, Steelers 15 Opponent 9.  It can be awful to watch, but apparently it’s a recipe for success. 

The Cardinals, on the other hand, were sort of like my beloved Jets, if you subbed in great wide receivers for the Jets’ Coles, Cotchery and Stuckey.  Their rugged but aging quarterback may heave up a bomb touchdown on any given play, or….. or he might chuck a pick 6, then mix in a fumble 2 possessions later.  If you’re gonna cheer for the Cardinals, you know you have a chance at glory… but you better be aware that things could go seriously, seriously awry.  The good news for this game is that the Steelers have scored some points in playoffs, which makes them more fun to watch, plus they have Troy Polamalu, a guy who has always been one of the league’s most exciting defensive players.

This Steelers seem to be so solid at every position that they don’t need stars.  It’s become the trendy thing to do to bet on the Cardinals today, because it’s nearly impossible to think past Larry Fitzgerald.  And really, who are the game-breaking players you think of on the Steelers after Polamalu?  Big Ben and Hines Ward (how old is this guy?) are both solid players, reliable, above average guys.  But neither strike me as light-your-hair-on-fire game breakers like Fitzgerald (who’s hair on fire could be seen from space).  I didn’t know the name of the Steelers running back until playoffs (has there ever been a Superbowl with worse running backs?  Edgerrin James is about 37th best in the league, and Willie Parker is in the low 20′s, I think.  Here comes Mewelde Moore… Tim Hightower?  Someone throw the ball, please).  But, the Steelers keep winning, and handily.  They say defense wins championships, so lets see if James Harrison and Troy Polamalu can take over this game.

Another SB note:  Has there ever been a Superbowl with less storylines?  Usually in the 2 weeks preceeding the big game, the sports news networks pull up story after story, featuring some guys struggle with ____ which he defeated ____ years ago and this is his last shot at redemption.  Team A cuts player A who goes to team B and is playing team A for all the marbles a year later.  Something.  I haven’t even cried yet.  They tried to get me with a Ryan Clark sickle-cell spiel, but I didn’t bite.  Okay, I had a quick moment, but not a Rick-Reilly-writing-on-disabled-athletes moment.  Kick-off is coming, thankfully.  These guys need something to talk about.

On a commentating note:  Steve Young has become a more prominent part of major football coverage, but I’m not sure his playing status has translated to sports pundit success.  I think the guys who are the best at their jobs, contrary to the Skip Bayliss approach, are the ones who’re the least controversial.  Guys like Chris Berman let guys like Keyshawn Johnson have their crazy opinions, but speak their own while seeming level-headed and open minded.  Ron McLean never overreacts, and we love him for it in Canada.  Al Michaels and John Madden rarely contradict one another, and that makes them easier to watch.  The Rush Limbaugh-esque stategy of contradicting everyone and being confrontational is overplayed and not a formula for long term success, yet it seems that Steve Young cannot wait to make Emmit Smith look like an idiot.  It’s annoying.

Okay, I’ll leave it at that til post game!  Remember the important Bourne bets:  First quarterback mentioned by full name after kick-off is Ben Roethlisberger, the Superbowl MVP will thank his teammates first, Al Michaels and John Madden with refer to Roethlisberger as “Big Ben” over 5 times, Madden will mention under 1.5 food items and the Gatorade dumped on the winning coach will be Orange.  Go Superbowl Sunday!!