“The Players Angle”, The Perfect Game, and Game Four

Since I started this whole writing quest, people “in the know” about journalism have advised me that the angle I have that other writers don’t is that I’ve played (pro) hockey, so I should use that.

Af first, I was tentative to beat that dead horse all that much – after all, I figured having done that would just help me see the game differently to better write about it.  But as it turned out, people seemed to enjoy the pieces where I gave a more “behind the scenes” look at things.  At least that’s what I took from the responses I got.

Y! - Far trendier than "Yahoo!"

Because of that advice, and learning that was what people seemed to enjoy, I began mercilessly pummeling the dead horse.  Especially once the Yahoo! gig came up – I wanted every piece to generate that same response.

My point is this – I know you know I played hockey.  We’re well beyond that now. 

I don’t write about that stuff to point out how awesome it is that I played and pat myself on the back.  I write about it because it’s the one thing I have that people with their “educations” and “degrees” don’t have (take the quotation marks as playfully sarcastic “ooo, way to go Doogie Howser” kind of way).  Gotta use what you’ve got, you know?  If you’ve got a slice, aim left.

So yeah, anyway, that was a long walk to take to get to this - sorry if it’s seemed a little self-indulgent lately.  It’s been with a purpose.

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Just to throw a quick knuckle-curveball in today, what’re your two cents on baseball’s perfect game situation?  I recently had a good question fired my way about it….

He's got a pretty good view from there, no?

Basically, Detroit Tigers pitcher Armando Galarrago had gone 26 batters up, 26 batters down.  So, two outs, bottom of the ninth.  The guy hits a ground ball to the first base side, the pitcher covers the base, catches it, and the guy is out by a half-step.  The ump calls the guy safe.

There’s been 20 perfect games in the history of baseball (as was pointed out to me, roughly 350,000 games), and this kid just threw a perfect game, but had it stolen from him by a shitty call.  He was amazingly gracious about it (video is almost tear-worthy), and the ump was thoroughly apologetic after the game.

So then the argument is…. should MLB overturn the umpire’s call and give the guy what’s rightfully his?  It’s a tough debate. 

My two cents:

Sadly, no they shouldn’t. 

It’s a game that still relies a certain amount of the human element.  There’s been thousands of wrong calls over those 350,000 games, and it’s something you deal with as a baseball player.  Until replay steps in, part of getting an out is convincing the guy making the call that you got the guy.  And unfortunately, the last play of that game just happened to be too close to guarantee his perfect game.

It’s sucks, it’s wrong…. but for now, that’s the way it is.

{Read Joe Posnanski’s AWESOME column on it here.}

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Game Four in Philly tonight:

Sharp as a cue ball, that Carcillo.

Since I’ve been lucky enough to nail a couple post-season predictions lately, I’m gonna push my luck and try again.

Tonight, I’m calling a Blackhawks win – the first game that’s not a one-goaler, let’s say 4-2, and mayyyybe they get the empty netter.  Okay, yes, they do.  5-2.

Like you, I’m expecting the very mildly important substitutions of Van Riemsdyk in for Carcillo, and Ladd in for Burrish. 

By the way – I know this reference is old news, but did anybody else think Carcillo headbutted Kopecky (in Game Two, I think)?  At first I thought so, but then I realized “no way somebody with no visor headbutts a guy who’s wearing one.  Nobody’s that dumb.”  But man, take a look —>  Right?   Maybe?

(UPDATE: He definitely tried to, but was already within kissing distance, so the headbutt didn’t have any momentum. 0:50 second mark.)

What’re your thoughts tonight?  Does Philly get a second win at home tonight?

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My column for Puck Daddy will be up earlier today, on Pronger (again) and his disregard for the media advice all players are given.  Link posted soon.  (Also, I reference Littlefoot from The Land Before Time, who actually looks more like the AHL’s Matthew Spiller, but whatever).

By the way, Puck Daddy Live Chat at game time tonight.  Be there, I know I will.

Best Week Ever – The Sportsgasm

ITS MASTERS WEEEEEEEK!

And every other great sports week.  Let’s dive in:

The twenty-team BBHL (Bourne’s Blog fantasy Hockey League) is down to two, and somehow, someway, I’m still alive (didn’t expect to add that to my BWE {best week ever}), did ya?  And that’s with Carey Price as one of my two goalies.  Yeesh. 

I’ll admit, I got muchos lucky in the semi-finals – drew the guy who wasn’t paying attention enough to start the right guys or even have a chat (read: make a bet), but I’ll take it.  Also, if you’re the dude who wasn’t paying attention, you have no chance of being invited back into the league next year (…without heavy bribery).

But whatever, I’m still happy.  On to the finals!

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Le Tigre has a press conference at 11:00 a.m. my time (2 EST) – I’m not going to live blog it, mostly cause I have other stuff I’m supposed to be doing (like, um, my job), but still, expect a tweet barrage.  Expect that all week, really.  I predict Tigs to announce Dr. Drew as his new caddy.

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The funniest thing George Lopez does is call himself a comedian.  Sorry, I had to get that out of my system.  Back to being positive…

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Sick camera angle.

The Detroit Red Wings are only two points out of fifth in the West, just behind the Nashville Predators – If they catch them, Phoenix plays them in round one, which would but about as lucky as Ben Stiller in Meet The Parents (that poor guy just can’t catch a break!). 

 …..Oh god I just checked the schedule… Phoenix plays Nashville on Wednesday.  Who’s Phoenix’s ECHL affiliate?  Can they call those guys up?  Can I sign a one day deal to help them lose?  Can we dress reader “zyllyx”?  Make the Coyotes wear rollerblades?  SOMETHING?!?

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The worst thing to happen to the Washington Capitals Stanley Cup hopes is drawing the Flyers in round one, which as it stands right now, they would.

If it’s Boston or Montreal (Montreal especially), they’ll breeze through that first round.  Philly, unfortunately for the Caps, plays a bit of a physical game, and is suffering from the frustration of earning the awful moniker ”best team that never gets it done” in the East (maybe the league – San Jose has had a couple playoff collapses, but the Flyers have been legit contenders for a decade and never got it done).  It’d suck (for them) to have their dangly skill team to face a group of hungry, aggressive dudes.

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I got the right guy in the picture.... right?

This whole “Henrik Sedin leading the league” thing is pretty awesome.

Nobody in the league has chemistry like him and his brother, as evidenced by his highlight reel.  When you watch Sid or Ovy’s, for the most part, you get the miraculous one man rushes, nifty moves, clever dekes and the lightning shots.

Henrik’s reel is far more impressive from the “utilizing your teammates” standpoint.  He fires behind-the-back no-lookers that end up directly resulting in goals.  Not neat “almosts” or plays that guys go to the bench and say “that woulda been awesome”, but tape to tape, spinning, no look, tap in goals.  They (Daniel and Henrik) almost never have to shoot the puck through a goalie, since they can just dish it around him.

Very impressive stuff.

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THE MASTERRRRRSSSSSSS!

The par three tournament is tomorrow, the press conferences are today, my orgasm is Sunday and the tournament starts Thursday.

For last years list of “Why I Love The Masters“, follow that link – that was puked out stream-of-consciouness style, so I’m sure I could add even more to it. 

Expect Tiger to start slow, but be a threat if he can find a way to make the cut (even when he’s been active, his first round at the Masters is his worst, with a stroke average above 72 on day one).  I’m pumped!  I’ll be live blogging it Sunday from one of those Cover It Live things if you want to watch it with me!

Predictions coming Wednesday.

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What a way to start the baseball season – with a Yankees loss (in Fenway).  Ahhh, spring.  Inhale, exhale that loss…. smells fresh.  Go Mets!

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My buddy Nick gets to my place tonight, so I don’t expect a lot of double blog entries, even though this is the ultimate week for it.  But, like I said, expect the tweet barrage.  You’ll be hearing from me!  (Go RIT!)

Lundqvist as Bond, Slam Dunks as Athletic Feats

I’m now accepting votes for which sport has the worst highlight package.  Specifically, which sport has the most redundant one.

Fisher-Price style: tha dunk has been slammmmmmed.

I used to think it was baseball – diving catch, double play, home run.  Home run, diving catch, double play.

But, I mean, basketball…. right?  OH, HE SLAMS A DUNK!  THE DUNK HAS BEEN SLAMMED! 

THAT 6’7″ ATHLETE WITH A 40 INCH VERT AND THREE FOOT ARMS PUT THE BALL RIGHT INTO THAT TEN FOOT HIGH ORANGE CIRCLE!  HIGHLIGHT OF THE NIGHT!  NO, THE WEEK! THAAA DECAAAAADDDDDDDE!

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I love me some Billy Guerin, but how will we ever know when he’s done being useful?  I mean, he’s never going to lose that great shot of his, and 3/4ths of the time he’s on the ice with Malkin or Crosby.  He could be effective until he’s a hundred with those linemates, so, that’s like, um, 27 more years of guaranteed effectiveness from the guy.  Not a bad break at the end of your career.

Jeez, I can't believe I was open. They must have been paying attention to MALKIN CROSBY AND GONCHAR.

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It’s rare that an analyst will get worse as he gets more comfortable in front of the camera, but then, Kevin Weekes is a true pioneer in the field.

I know I tend to talk about the sports analysts I dislike rather then the ones I do (guys like Ron Mclean, Bob Cole/Harry Neale, Kenny Mayne, Scott Van Pelt, Johnny Miller, Chris Berman/Tom Jackson etc.), but come on.  This guy is trying way too hard.  I’m not sure who he’s trying to pattern himself after, but I have a hunch it’s Don Cherry.  And that’s a sad, sad state of affairs (“Pay attention to this part right here, kids…”)

Describing the Coyotes play just now, he said “they really prevailed tonight”.  God I hate him.  After LaBarbera’s post-shootout win celebration, he went with ”I didn’t know he played the guitar!”  This guy isn’t good for my blood pressure, or the wear and tear on my mute button.

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis

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So, is Henrik Lundqvist auditioning to be the next Bond in those “You are watching the NHL Network” ads?  Why is he the only human in the NHL selected to do those ads in a suit?  He should be selling cologne, or planning an art heist or something.  Christ Henrik, even Brosnan didn’t take himself that seriously.

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What are the odds Jason Spezza still plays with action figures alone in his room?  They’re possibly Ninja Turtles, and he’s definitely making sound effects for the imaginary explosions. 

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It’s rarely okay for reporters and commentators to use the nicknames of players, simply because they don’t know them “like that”, so it comes off as sort of desperate.  Dude interviewing Bobby Ryan asks him if he knew he needed to step up in “Getzy’s” absense. 

Whatever that dudes relationship with the Ducks and “Getzy” may be, he only knows surface-Getzy.  He wasn’t there the time he killed a hooker in Vegas, or the time he sent his twin brother on a date for him, or the summer he ate HGHios instead of the “Cheer” ones he eats now.  Use his adult name, sir, this isn’t the locker room.

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Happy Wednesness friends.  It’s spend your IKEA/TARGET gift cards day at the Bourne compound.  I’m thrilled.  For those of you who didn’t catch my Hockey News column yesterday (on slightly crazers hockey parents), you can click those crazy coloured letters and your fancy internet machine oughtta take you right to it.

UPDATE: Canda’s Olympic team was named.  I will now commence standing on guard for thee.

A Tear, A Curse, and a Link

I’ve got this weird soft spot for sports.  Like, I could watch a four hour documentary on blind people curing baby tigers with cerebral palsy and not flinch, but the second somebody is involved in some impressive sports feat, I tear up.

Mark Buerhle pitched a perfect game yesterday, that included a wall-scaling catch from his replacement center fielder, who was just chucked into the game to be a defensive specialist.  Nice call by Ozzie Guillen on that one.

Anyways.  Congrats to Mark Buerhle on accomplishing such an unbelievable feat, and receiving a phone call from the freaking president for it.  That’s the part that got me.  It was just… it was… so special… siiigghhh…

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So, I try to keep curses out of my writing as much as possible, because I hope to someday do this for a living, and it’s generally frowned upon by reputable newspapers.  But, in order to keep it sounding conversational, I tend to slip the odd curse in, because, um, I slip the odd curse in in conversation.

Regardless of your stance on that, let this serve as a little disclaimer.  The following picture contains a well placed f-bomb, and I love it.

Half anteater, half Italian?

I love that somehow my blog in the NHL off-season has become the chuckle-hut, and people continue to send me hilarious stuff to include in the blog.  You’re really makin’ my job easy.  Keep ‘em comin’!

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In other news, the fires in Kelowna have subsided.  Thanks for all the well wishes.  We had a little scare that our beautiful resort was about to be the Okanagan’s biggest bonfire, but she was saved!  The camp is ready to go as planned, and thanks to the fire, we even got a couple nice room upgrades.  Take a look at this picture taken from the lake that shows how close we were to losing The Cove:

Phew.  It just barely made it.

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As for a little real sports writing, my take on how the drafting of John Tavares will help Kyle Okposo out will probably be up in the next hour or so at www.hockeyprimetime.com.  Check it outtttt.