More Tape Talk, Updated Thoughts on 8 vs. The Kid

Man – you see Eric Staal get a skate to the face?  Not long after getting a stick in the mouth?  Tough night.

So, there were a few questions that stemmed from yesterday’s blog about handle tape jobs.  Here’s my take on the blade:

Sticks today (composite blades specifically) are built to be taped.  If you’ve ever tried to handle a frozen puck with a tapeless blade, you might as well be using the other end of the stick.  It’s hopeless.

Worst stick set-up in NHL history

So, I don’t get the logic when I see some guys go for the few-strips look.  I don’t even understand it when their blade is wood.  Remember the Eric Lindros tape job?  I always wanted to ask him “Is it easier to handle the puck and shoot from the tape?  Yes?”

The follow with: ” Then tape your whole fucking blade.”

Guys today do so much work with the toe of their stick, from forehand/backhand toe pulls, deke’s, dangles, whatever, that they need tape on the entire blade.  So, there’s a half-dozen guys on every team that continues taping past the toe, pressing tape against tape, and then scissor-cutting around the end of the blade.

I also half-rip the tape (into a thinner strip) to get more ridges, which I think made it easier to get more spin on the puck.  At the very least, it feels cooler rolling off your stick.  Plus, you get to anger the three-quarters of your hockey team that doesn’t half-rip the tape, who have to unravel the huge portion you just wasted to get to their preferred wide part again.

Oh, and tape it heel to toe, because you’re a hockey player, and thats just what we do.

As for the black vs. white argument, do whatever makes you happy.  Whoever thinks it matters is weird.  I used to go black to “hide the puck”.  Then I went white so I could see the puck on my blade quicker.  Then I stayed with white CAUSE IT LOOKS AWESOME.  

300+ words about tape.  “Bourne’s Blog: complicating the simple for over 13 months.”

*****

Those of you who wrote to disagree with my take on the Sens were right.  My b.

*****

Theodore, mentally surrendering: "I'll let you score if you promise not to make it embarrassing"

In the on-going Sid vs. Ovi debate, I have to confess that I think Ovechkin is better.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m rooting for Sid over number eight every friggin’ time – I want him to end up with the better legacy, partially because he’s my fellow countrymen, and seemingly more humble than Alex. 

Crosby’s having a ridiculous year, even changing my opinion of just how good Sid is.  He’s got all the intangibles to go with the raw skills and personal drive.  But I mean… I don’t think he shoots it as hard as Ovi.  I don’t think he skates as fast.  And I know he doesn’t hit as hard.

He’s does have that Gretzky-like quality to see the game in slow motion while moving mach three, which must be nice.  And Ovi definitely has the advantage of playing on a line with Backstrom and Semin, but even with all that…. I can’t shake the feeling that Ovechkin is the best player in the league.  He’s just a constant, one-man hurricane.  He reminds me of when we’d “tornado” each other’s rooms in college, the way destruction and chaos follows him everywhere he goes.  Just gear all over the ice, hats from hattricks, guys trying to get up from hits, red lights spinning, fans yelling…. chaos. 

Plus there’s always this part of his game to love:

Nobody’s convincing anyone of anything here.  There’s no way to change someone’s mind in this never-ending debate.  Just pick your horse and ride it.  We’re lucky to get to watch them both.

*****

Did you see Chris Phillips run Miller over?  Ho-ly, lackluster response from the Sabres.  You could hear the running dialogue in the players heads “oh, we’re supposed to act angry now…?  Riiiight…. grrrr…. someone’s gonna fight him right…? nobody…? god don’t let it to be me…”  Weak sauce, Flubbalo.  Weak sauce.

*****

My big homie down in Houston plays a little goal for the Aeros, and has a bit of a following. His name is Barry Brust, check out the fan club tee’s:

IMAGE HAS BEEN REMOVED.  CAUSE, UM, Y’KNOW, IT WAS A CHEST-SHOT CLOSE-UP.

Sick.

That’ll do for now.  We’re nearing the Superbowl.  I’m betting the Ottawa Roughriders by a try.

Burrowing With An Auger. Plus Ovy and Conan.

As we discussed in the comments section of yesterday’s blog, Alex Burrows had a chat with referee Stephane Auger before their game vs. Nashville on Monday night.  Supposedly, that chat involved Auger telling Burrows that he intended to even the score with Burrows who had embellished a hit in an earlier Auger-reffed contest.  You all know the story by now.

I'm agitated looking at him. He's good.

Refs and players talk with regularity.  It’s probably the least-seen relationship that affects the outcome of games.  There’s only so many refs, and over the course of 82 games and multiple years, you talk with, yell at, and generally get to know each ref and their tendency’s.

Some let you play, some call it tight, but in general, you know which is which in advance.  At the very least, someone will, and they’ll tell the rest of the team.

I frequently talked with refs because I was a perennial Lady Byng style player, and thus, had a good relationship with them (one college year I had SIX PIMS).  I have a hunch Burrows chats with refs are, in general, less genial.

For an abrasive player, you have to think it’s only a matter of time until you run into an abrasive ref.  And in turn, only a matter of time before you get red flagged, targeted, and penalized more.  Thats human nature.

We don’t know what happened – it wouldn’t shock me to hear that Burrows pulled it completely out of nowhere because he hates the ref.  He might be like Milhouse when he wants Bart to go home, so he yells “MOOOMMMM, BART’S SMOKING!”.  Whatever – it’s possible, but who knows what the real story is.

All I know is, I’m okay with the human element side of this story (wanting to stick it to someone who stuck it to you).  I’m okay with the way Burrows plays, but because of that, it’s only natural that a ref would be quick to give him an extra look.  What I’m not okay with, is calling something that isn’t there for revenge.  Plus, telling him in advance reminds me of a Bond villain explaining his plan to a captured Bond, when I’m screaming at the screen JUST SHOOT HIM.  IF YOU JUST FUCKING SHOOT HIM HE’LL DIE!

But there’s my point.  By playing the role of human sandpaper, you’re going to attract the refs attention more than anyone else.  Your penalties will increase exponentially.  That’s organic.  The moment any ref consciously acknowledges their need for a vendetta, the game’s aren’t being decided organically.  Auger is clearly at fault here, and needs to be penalized for even getting caught up in crap like this.  A ref is supposed to be above it all, supposed to govern fairly.  He didn’t.

Talk amongst yourselves.

*****

 Yesterday, Alex Ovechkin agreed to fight Steve Downie, but Matt Bradley swoops in.  It was the best thing I’ve seen in the NHL this year:

So many bad things can happen in a fight – if it goes well, you can break your hand, if it goes poorly, you can break you face.  You can land melon-first on the ice and get concussed.  There’s very few positive end results.

By Ovechkin squaring up to fight, it legitimizes his status as a guy not just running around and blowing guys up, but as someone who’ll actually answer the bell.

Better still, is that Bradley knows the last thing their team wants is for him to be legitimate in any category other than scoring goals.  And really, better Bradley be suspended than Ovechkin be hurt.  Ooooo, so old-school.

*****

CoCo might gogo

 I love Conan O’Brien.  Admittedly, I’ve gotten away from watching his show since I’ve moved to Phoenix, because I go to bed before the sun sets half the time, but I still love when I can catch it.

It really does seem like Conan didn’t get a fair shake (seven months?) – if you didn’t hear, NBC is putting Leno back at 11:30 and wants to bump Conan to a later time again.  Conan isn’t having it, and has handled the situation like a pro.  I’m on Team Conan – check out his statement, and I’m sure you’ll join too.

*****

 What’s your drug of choice?  I hope it’s not acid, cause the following LT video would EFF. YOU. UP.

*****

After watching the Islanders/Red Wings game last night, I think I might have taken my first step onto the Josh Bailey bandwagon.  I was impressed.

*****

Lane Kiffin left Tennessee for USC, and UT fans reacted with class.  Sorry, did I say class?  I meant they rioted.

 *****

Also, *yelling* “What was I supposed to say honey?” —- I’m overjoyed with the return of my lovely fiance.

An Essay on Quickness

Physically demanding sports continue to evolve -  to quote Daft Punk (not Kanye) - “harder, better, faster, stronger”.

When it comes to quickness, they’re all evolving the exact same way. 

Quickly.

Hockey, football, badminton, jai alai - you name it – have all seen “quickness” rise to the top of their list of ”most important athletic qualities”.

Because of this, we’re seeing an increase in the amount of younger players having success at higher levels.  Not sure if you’ve noticed, but young punks tend to be quicker than withering geriatrics old punks. 

So, as is my job, let’s take a closer look at how quickness is changing hockey:

Not that long ago, hockey was a game dominated by men with man strength.  In the era I grew up in, that scintillating era of dump, chase, hook and hold,  you needed all the mobility of a bubble hockey player if you were a strong dude.

Hatcher: played during the overpaid, hook n hold era

In my younger days, bigger, more um, adultish men, could simply chuck a stick across my stomach, and I’d huff and puff and pout and pray for one of those big lugs to catch an edge and fall so I could get a scoring chance, which I damn well had to score on if I was gonna be worth anything to my team.

For weaker, more dangly types, the rules made it so scoring chances weren’t created as often as they were waited on.

Then, the NHL (and North American hockey all together), put their heads together and realized “hey, I bet if we phased out big, talentless d-men, hockey would be fun again…”

So, with that simple epiphany, the game started to change.

Suddenly, big d-men were hustling around trying to put a leash on guys like Maxim Afinagenov, Daniel Briere and Marty Havlat, failing, and going home to write FML’s.

Today, I tried to put a bell on Patrick Kane, but when I went to run him through the boards to impress my coach, he put the puck through my feet, and I tripped myself trying to squeeze my skates together.  As I fell, I managed to lose my top row of teeth on the dasher.  FML.

Those slick, skilled guys are the real talents of the NHL.  And, isn’t that what you want, as a league?  The guys that’re the best at playing the game to be the most successful? 

As a Canadian, I’ll always have some love for the big power forwards, but if the NHL (great idea coming) put together a 5’9″ and under game, and a 6’3″ and over game, I know which one would be more exciting to watch.  And that’s not too say the skilled guys are all small (see: Perry, Corey) – but just to point out that we were minimizing the talent the league displayed under the old rules.

{Also, as a bit of a related thought, how great would Pavel Bure have been a decade later?  Did this guy just miss the boat on becoming one of the NHL’s all-time most exciting players?}

{These are my new “complete tangent brackets”, btw.  Here’s another one – Every team in the NHL should be afraid of Chicago this year- I’ll take them (with the dicey goaltending situation) to win the Presidents Trophy, barring major injuiries. August 27th, 2009}

Under those old rules, players could stay effective as they got older, because quicker players could be slowed down using any number of techniques.  I remember, as a player at that time, when a guy would dump the puck, one of the opposing d-men would turn to get it.  The other one played you like an offensive linebacker, literally trying to stop you from getting by him in order to give his partner more time.

With the rule changes allowing for quickness to be at a premium, today’s game looks a lot more like “junior hockey” – and I don’t mean that in a bad way.  it’s exciting.

Yeah, I'm just gonna go ahead and be faster than everyone, thanks.

In junior hockey, guys over-pursue.  They’re petrified of looking lazy, and constantly wondering what they should be doing, and where they should be going.  So they just go anywhere.

The professionals of yesteryear tended to stand around, play smart and positional (see: Guerin, Bill), and jump when opportunity presented itself.  Half the time, junior hockey players (WHL, USHL, BCHL etc…) skate away from where they’re supposed to be, simply to so they can be skating somewhere.

That waste of energy isn’t a major crisis for a young pup who’s legs and stamina bounce back like a trampoline with a sip of water on the bench, so coaches have found a way to harness this never-ending go-go-go, and use it as an advantage in the new NHL.

They find the smart, coachable ones (a rare quality).  Then they spend some real time beating the simple defensive systems into the kids head.  Then, the second this Alaskan sled-dog of a player crosses his own blueline into the neutral zone, the coach unhooks the leash.

Running commentary of the d-man backing up: "Shit, crap, shit, shit..."

The NHL isn’t tailored for Chris Chelios’s anymore.  I’m not trying to rag on Chris, but sled-dogs really are the best analogy for how the youth movement looks in the NHL now.

“Lemme-go-lemme-go-lemme-go-I-can-run-wanna-run-wanna-run!”

Thankfully, Ovechkin happened to come into the league right when d-men weren’t allowed to jump on his back, grab him with a free hand and limit the fans entertainment.

His quickness (and the quickness of other young stars) has forced the NHL to re-arrange the priorities of what makes a D-man good, and it’s not just size anymore.

We’re finally being allowed to see, not only see which forwards are truly quick, but also how defenseman can break the mold and still be great.  We have a whole new generation of d-men on the rise: Alex Goligoski’s, Matt Carle’s, and Duncan Keith’s, who can fly around and keep up with dangly forwards.

Quickness has made it so as GM, I’d rather have a slightly more mistake-prone young buck on my team than a plotting, plodding veteran.

These changes are happening, and it the transition hasn’t been very gradual.  Fittingly, it’s been happening quickly.

Good On Him

Dear New York,

I said some very nice things about you in earlier blogs and you’re making me look like an asshole.

Stop putting dijon (deli) mustard on my sandwiches when I order mustard, try the yellow stuff, it’s delicious.  Your weather patterns have been Gary Busey-level-volatile.  As much as I’m enjoying the first day of spring/blustery snow storm you’ve offered up today, you can cram it.

Moving on.

Welcome to a section I’m calling “Good On ‘im“

Text I got yesterday from an AHL all-star goalie:  “No one can do what Mike Green does.  Nobody even comes close.”

Scoring in eight straight NHL games as a forward is insane, any reasonable player would be thinking pay-raise.  As a defenseman, in today’s NHL, it’s such an incredible feat, I had to make mention of it.  Definite good on ‘im to Mike Green.

The Islanders signed my roommate from pre-season in Moncton to a one-year deal for $550,000, Tim Jackman.  Jax is one of those guys who plays his role to the letter, and never succumbs to the self-love players develop that leads to glory-seeking.  Tim works harder (literally), than any player I’ve ever played with, and is a guy who’ll do anything for the team, and for the game.  Based on what he’s put into the game, nobody deserves it more.  Good on ‘im.

Ovechkin got to 50!  I guess on the shock-scale that didn’t warrant an exclamation mark, but an impressive feat nonetheless.  As my friend Neil mentioned in an earlier comment, nobody in today’s game consistently scores on wristers (and bullet one-tee’s) from anywhere in the arena like Ovechkin.  His 50th was insane.

Today’s coaches preach shoot-shoot-shoot, and the players usually want them to shut-up-shut-up-shut-up.  I’m still unsure if Ovechkin helps their case or not.  Pretty sure Ovi could snap a puck in Crosby’s mouth from two rinks away; that shots not exactly in my arsenal.

But his “good on ‘im” isn’t just for that.  It’s for his goal celebration.  Pretending his stick was too hot to pick up?  That’s the shit I do in practice to rattle the goalie.  Who is this guy?  …Whoever he is, good on ‘im indeed.

And that wraps up that section.  As for what’s going on in the world of Bourne, I spent last night listening to the unbelievable tale about one of Clark Gillies Stanley Cup rings.  I’m going to write that today, and then figure out which site would be the most interested in it. 

My article on surviving the locker room is up at www.thehockeynews.com.  And lastly, Newsday’s Gregory Logan is going to be running a bit about myself in his Islanders Insider section soon.  The link will be up as soon as the article is!

St. Patty's Pontifications

Happy St. Patricks Day!  As an Irish/Ukranian/CompleteMutt, today I claim the one that lets me join the festivities as an insider. 

How insane is St. Patty’s Day?  It’s the only day of the year where we blatantly celebrate drinking.  Sure, we drink on other holidays, but today is the day.  There are no other well-known holidays where we celebrate entire ethnic groups within the country.  It’s not like there’s a St. Rossi’s day where we all scarf an excess of cannoli’s.  But the Irish are nationally loved for their specialty (the bottle), and frankly… everyone’s okay with it.  Enjoy your St Patty’s Day!

Now let’s begin the randomness.

Nobody in sports writing is better than Bill Simmons.

It’s over.  He’s mastered the ability to smoothly phrase what the sports-loving average Joe says in the stands, while peppering it with wit that’s tough to find.

It seems at some point, life forces men to hang out with their “boys” a bit less.  It’s tough to justify a three beer lunch to your wife when you’re trying to save money for retirement and you had to pick up your kid from school on the way home.  Pff.  Women.

Reading Simmons makes you feel like you’re having that same conversation you would with the guys, but safely from your house.  Plus, when you get the vibe that Simmons is being a dick (which isn’t infrequent), you don’t have to fake interest like you might in person.  I do predict him getting too big for his britches at some point and saying something across the line, thus getting in some hot water.  He already walks a pretty thin line, but I love it.

Next:  Isn’t it time to give “that guy” in commercials his due?  I have no idea his name, but I know he’s hilariously subtle in more commercials than I can name.  I can’t really remember the products he’s been pushing either, all I know is I laugh at every commercial this guy is in.  Obviously not Dustin Pedroia, but the other guy.

The wink after “it’s called integrity” is key.

Moving along:  A smart hockey friend of mine that plays in the American League recently sent me this text, and he might be right: “Ovechkin is the best to ever play the game.  No question.  No debate.” 

I wanted the Canadian Crosby to just do it the right way like a good Canuck would, show him the way this game is supposed to be played, and he has.  The problem is, Ovechkin is so good, normal rules don’t apply.  It’s like playing one on five basketball on a Fisher Price hoop against seven year olds.  When you have that much of an advantage, it doesn’t matter what your opponent does.  He’s just that good.  I’m still gonna dunk, and Ovi is still going to take a slapbomb off some goalies collar bone, the crossbar and the mesh for a powerplay goal.

At a difficult economic time in the US, with a good product and a strong need for attendance, wouldn’t this be the worst possible time to implement fight-removal rules in the NHL?  Not that we should appeal to the lowest common denominator, but have you ever asked a non-hockey player why they like to watch?  Why they don’t watch boxing (or UFC), I’ll never know.

Regardless, the NHL will gladly take their money.  It’s a part of the game (for reasons that would warrant their own column, had the topic not been over-written), so let’s deal with that when we start turning away fans at the ticket windows.

Old school reference:  I kinda like Jim Carrey.  I  feel like Liar Liar is underrated in the all-time funny movie department.  Not top five maybe, but worthy of having in the collection.  I hadn’t thought of it in awhile until I saw the classic bit on Family Guy the other day:

Speaking of Family Guy, is the gay guy funny enough for everyone yet?  I can barely handle watching him or Herbert (shown here)without laughing (largely because the Isles/Sound Tigers Andrew McDonald does Herbert better than Herbert).  Check the hilarious homo here:

Anyways, enjoy today, and I dunno, maybe run a water through your liver at some point!  Just a little suggestion.       – Justin O’Burne (as the last name was only four generations back!)