Burrowing With An Auger. Plus Ovy and Conan.

As we discussed in the comments section of yesterday’s blog, Alex Burrows had a chat with referee Stephane Auger before their game vs. Nashville on Monday night.  Supposedly, that chat involved Auger telling Burrows that he intended to even the score with Burrows who had embellished a hit in an earlier Auger-reffed contest.  You all know the story by now.

I'm agitated looking at him. He's good.

Refs and players talk with regularity.  It’s probably the least-seen relationship that affects the outcome of games.  There’s only so many refs, and over the course of 82 games and multiple years, you talk with, yell at, and generally get to know each ref and their tendency’s.

Some let you play, some call it tight, but in general, you know which is which in advance.  At the very least, someone will, and they’ll tell the rest of the team.

I frequently talked with refs because I was a perennial Lady Byng style player, and thus, had a good relationship with them (one college year I had SIX PIMS).  I have a hunch Burrows chats with refs are, in general, less genial.

For an abrasive player, you have to think it’s only a matter of time until you run into an abrasive ref.  And in turn, only a matter of time before you get red flagged, targeted, and penalized more.  Thats human nature.

We don’t know what happened – it wouldn’t shock me to hear that Burrows pulled it completely out of nowhere because he hates the ref.  He might be like Milhouse when he wants Bart to go home, so he yells “MOOOMMMM, BART’S SMOKING!”.  Whatever – it’s possible, but who knows what the real story is.

All I know is, I’m okay with the human element side of this story (wanting to stick it to someone who stuck it to you).  I’m okay with the way Burrows plays, but because of that, it’s only natural that a ref would be quick to give him an extra look.  What I’m not okay with, is calling something that isn’t there for revenge.  Plus, telling him in advance reminds me of a Bond villain explaining his plan to a captured Bond, when I’m screaming at the screen JUST SHOOT HIM.  IF YOU JUST FUCKING SHOOT HIM HE’LL DIE!

But there’s my point.  By playing the role of human sandpaper, you’re going to attract the refs attention more than anyone else.  Your penalties will increase exponentially.  That’s organic.  The moment any ref consciously acknowledges their need for a vendetta, the game’s aren’t being decided organically.  Auger is clearly at fault here, and needs to be penalized for even getting caught up in crap like this.  A ref is supposed to be above it all, supposed to govern fairly.  He didn’t.

Talk amongst yourselves.

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 Yesterday, Alex Ovechkin agreed to fight Steve Downie, but Matt Bradley swoops in.  It was the best thing I’ve seen in the NHL this year:

So many bad things can happen in a fight – if it goes well, you can break your hand, if it goes poorly, you can break you face.  You can land melon-first on the ice and get concussed.  There’s very few positive end results.

By Ovechkin squaring up to fight, it legitimizes his status as a guy not just running around and blowing guys up, but as someone who’ll actually answer the bell.

Better still, is that Bradley knows the last thing their team wants is for him to be legitimate in any category other than scoring goals.  And really, better Bradley be suspended than Ovechkin be hurt.  Ooooo, so old-school.

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CoCo might gogo

 I love Conan O’Brien.  Admittedly, I’ve gotten away from watching his show since I’ve moved to Phoenix, because I go to bed before the sun sets half the time, but I still love when I can catch it.

It really does seem like Conan didn’t get a fair shake (seven months?) – if you didn’t hear, NBC is putting Leno back at 11:30 and wants to bump Conan to a later time again.  Conan isn’t having it, and has handled the situation like a pro.  I’m on Team Conan – check out his statement, and I’m sure you’ll join too.

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 What’s your drug of choice?  I hope it’s not acid, cause the following LT video would EFF. YOU. UP.

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After watching the Islanders/Red Wings game last night, I think I might have taken my first step onto the Josh Bailey bandwagon.  I was impressed.

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Lane Kiffin left Tennessee for USC, and UT fans reacted with class.  Sorry, did I say class?  I meant they rioted.

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Also, *yelling* “What was I supposed to say honey?” —- I’m overjoyed with the return of my lovely fiance.

Mark McGwire is Really Really Muscley

Mark McGwire admitted to using steroids, and I have trouble working up any sort of furor over it.  I’m supposed to feel personally offended, right?

I love people that tell me they stopped watching hockey after the strike, but they still watch baseball.  Which, I might remind you, is a sport that sprinkled a strike in between games featuring players deploying varying levels of unadulterated cheat.

It was a well choreographed admission by Team McGwire though.  Blow it all up on one day (the anti-Tiger method), talk to every news outlet on the planet, address it, then let us get overexposed/numb again and forget.  Also, don’t admit steroids helped your stats, because, they obviously didn’t.

On the upside, baseball fans, you can sleep easy knowing that Sammy Sosa wasn’t using, and if he was, he speaks too little english to give a Bob Costas exclusive.

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 I heard Curtis Joseph is announcing his retirement today (from not playing?).  I gotta say, I was a big fan.  One of those goalies that you can’t really explain why you like him, you just do.  I also unabashedly rooted for Kelly Hrudey and Glen Healy, which made it doubly cool when both got hired by HNIC.   

Anyways, good on CuJo, even though it was paiiiinful to watch him try to steal paychecks from teams at the end of his career (or as it will officially be known starting in 2011, “Osgooding” a team).

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So, Alex Burrows has scored twice since I started writing this sentence, I think.  Here’s his stat line from his last three games: 9100 G, 0 A, for 9100 PTS.  Okay, it’s just eight goals in three games, but still, you’re impressed.

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If you’re feelin’ like reading a good ol’ Bourne column, check out my latest for USA Today!

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MORE MCGWIRE, THEN AND NOW

Fantasy Hockey Checkpoint

Happy holidays everyone!

I hear it’s been a tad, um, blustery out on the east coast.  Which sounds fun and all, but I ran in shorts and a t-shirt here this weekend…. so I’ll just go preemptively eff myself.  Thanks.

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The old "having an edge" vs. "being an idiot" tightrope.

Did anybody else think the punch Barret Jackman snuck in on Alex Burrows last night was a bigger deal than the commentators made of it?  Judging by the lack of video of it online, I’m sure I’m over-reacting here, but I was hoping some Canucks or Blues fans saw the play and could shed some light on it.

Basically, it looked to me like Burrows crashed the Blues crease after the whistle, so Jackman snuck off his right glove to give him a solid suckerpunch to the lips.  It all happened so fast it looked pretty inconspicuous, but if that’s really what happened, that’s some vicious intent right there.  Maybe the league should give the play a quick once-over.

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The Bourne’s Blog Hockey League has reached the halfway point.  Mile 13.1 of this marathon (week 11 of the regular season), people, and it’s time for a little review.

This is my first year playing fantasy hockey, and as I’ve mentioned before, I’m loving it.

I went with head-to-head as the format, because I figured that way it would stay interesting throughout the whole year.  Even if you’re getting shellacked, you can still play (and bet) against your opponent from the week to salvage some joy from the torture (I was looking out for MY best interests going into the season).  I’m sure some fantasy league are down to four or five players actually playing by the end of it, and nobody wants that (especially in our 20-team league).

The problems with the format are clear.  Some people *ahem* do really well statistically *ahem*, but have some bad luck in their matchups *A-HEM!* 

I’m sticking with my theory that the format becomes an elaborate game of “war” (the card game).  You can win with a seven if your opponent has a six, which is no more valuable than winning with an ace if you’re opponent has a two.  You just hope that eventually you get to play that ace you still hold at the right time.  And while I’m not-so-subtley masking my bitterness, I hate you all.

Kopitar - seen here 200 feet from contributing anything of value to my fantasy team.

I’ve guaranteed that I will finished the year in the top five (I’m currently in FOURTEENTH of 20), and I’m not wavering from that.  My goalies are finally on the ball (I lost save percentage 2.23 to 2.22 last week thanks to Detroit pulling Howard against Dallas in the last couple minutes, apparently a few seconds too early), I’m close to getting healthy, and if I don’t start winning, I’ll just knock all the checkers off the board and declare that nobody won.  I am commish, after all.

Twice I’ve lost weeks where I’ve bet a temporary team-name-change, only to not hear from my opponent again (what, like I’m gonna seek you out?), and the two bets I have won have brought me much joy.

For next year, the Bourne’s Blog Fantasy League will be a pay league, where I’ll fly the winner out to hit a Coyotes game or two with me or something like that.  Whatever it is we decide, it’ll be a non-profit deal where you a-holes all have to pay attention to what your team is up to.

 So that’s where I’m at.  14th.  In a 20-team league. I have Datsyuk, Kopitar, Hossa, Stastny, Backes, J. Stall, Booth, Keith, Goligoski, and Kronwall, but can’t win.  So much for the advice I spew on an XM radio fantasy hockey show

I will now brace myself for the comment section of abuse.  Also, I will now prepare to deny the claims of the two teams who want to retroactively claim their “re-name Bourne’s team” prize. 

Hope the holidays are going great for everyone, my family is all here as of today for our first warm Christmas. (unfortunately exluding my Dad and Aunt who were unable to make it – boo - but including my brother who recently pump-faked us all on the whole “dying” thing then decided to just go back to being well by his 30th birthday.  So I’m pumped!)

 See ya tomorrow!

Tyson frequently sleeps on his back. And no, that has nothing to do with my blog.

The Gillies pup "Cash" on his one-year b'day. And no, it's not a bear.

Merry... holidays, from the Bournes!