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Table Scraps, At Best



Gooood morning hockey fans, and everyone else (is there an “everyone else” out there that reads my blog?  I hope so, for today’s sake).  Let’s get rambling:


Has there ever been a white guy in the NBA’s dunk contest?  I mean, 3/4 of a black guy won the thing in 1986 (Spud Webb, 5’8″), and Nate Robinson is the three-time champ (5’9″), but there hasn’t even been one white contestant?  Why is my race so bad at dunking?  I mean, Eminem got us in the rap game (his new CD is badass, BTW), but we’re still stuck heaving threes on the court?  C’mon guys, pull it together.


Jeff -->


You’ve all heard me rave about Bruce Arthur’s writing lately, and for good reason.  If you’re not reading his stuff, get on it.  His recent take on Lance Armstrong is the perfect example of how good writing can make you read about a topic you’re barely interested in.  (See: Bill Simmons, the NBA. Okay, I like the NBA, but not enough to read 4,000 word columns on it, normally)

Also on my Great Reads List is Elliotte Friedman’s “30 Thoughts“.  I only recently discovered it, and I’m at the point now where I get all prepared to read it.  That’s how you know I like something – I make a ritual out of it.  A snack, a drink, TV off, get comfortable, maybe a stress ball to fidget with…. GREAT.  Also, I like it because it’s basically the same concept as my blog – just noteworthy things that stuck in his head during the week like “man, I don’t think there’s ever been a white guy in the dunk contest”.

What about you?  What’s on your must-read list? 

Honorable mention: Ryan Lambert’s “What We Learned”


I think I want to see Inception.  I love DiCaprio, and the reviews have been ridiculously good.  Roeper went straight A+ on it.


 I’ve been pro-Kovalchuking all over my shoes for the past couple weeks, but WTF, man? 

Ilya, if you really are holding out for a number around ten shmill a year, go eff yourself.  That’s great that you’re “the most unique free agent to ever hit the market”, but in this market, no player that isn’t named Crosby or Ovechkin is worth that much money.  This isn’t baseball, this isn’t basketball.  Hockey players make “good enough to never work again money” not “good enough to never work again on your own island” money.


Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Conway Twitty…


The British Open was suspended due to high winds today.  Which, as most of you probably know, is what makes links golf links golf.  Some of the best tweets:

While not his most elegantly phrased… @shanebacon Next up, the Phoenix Open will be suspended because of too hot and the Masters will be suspended because of too green.

@Bruce_arthur They’re suspending the British Open because of wind? What’s next, suspending the Masters because of white guys?

And the winner, as always…. @danjenkinsgd The R&A said it suspended play because the golf balls are “oscillating” on the greens. And Old Tom Morris is oscillating in his grave.

Actual British Open Scoreboard
















(Gag pilfered from

…..Don’t worry, it’ll be hockey season again soon.  Wake me when Kovalchuk signs.


9 Responses to “Table Scraps, At Best”
  1. Sioux in the Cities says:

    I think Brent Barry won the Dunk Contest a few years back. He also competed in the 3-point contest another year, which is rare to have a guy do both during All-Star weekend.

  2. jtbourne says:

    Yup, we have a winner – ten seconds of research shows a white guy (Brent Barry) got in the mix in 1996. Which honestly, makes it feel even more pathetic. Nothing for 15 years? Lazy.

  3. Sioux in the Cities says:

    1996?!? Jeez. I used to tape all the dunk contests because I would usually miss them due to a Sioux game, but wow. It doesn’t seem like it was that long ago. I just remember being pissed because I don’t like him and because I think he won with a “from-the-free-throw line” dunk when he clearly took off like a foot or two past the line.

  4. paul says:

    Conway Twitty interlude is high comdey, well done sir, well done.

  5. Ralphie says:

    Nice work with Mr. Conway Twitty! Love it

  6. St. Cloud Gopher says:

    White guys in the dunk contest? I didn’t know anyone cared enough about the contest in general…
    On a (semi-) related note, I was going to comment on the comment about the MLB All-Star game being the envy of every other sport.
    Baseball is my fave sport to watch and play, but I like the NHL All-Star festivities more than any other league. I can’t say much about the NBA’s game/contests because watching pro BB actually causes me physical pain. The NFL has to actually change the rules for their game. (I know the others aren’t exactly playoff caliber, and the NHL game has less hitting than a girls squirt game, but I don’t believe there is an actual “rule” per say. Just players being nice.)
    MLB has the best “game” for sure, as theirs resembles an actual baseball game — minus the innings pitched and number of substitutions. But while baseball has the game, football the contact and basketball the accidental Ambien, hockey gives us an average game but the best contests surrounding it.
    Hardest shot? Yes, please. Fastest skater? Crazy stuff! Target shooting? My mouth drops every time.
    And I think there are white guys all over the place…

  7. Doug says:

    I think white guys have been banned from the dunk contest ever since Chris Andersen’s memorable, “It’s time for the Birdman to fly.”

  8. mikeb says:

    Chris Anderson competed a few years ago. He was white and notably terrible.

  9. Liviu says:

    For another must-read, even though it’s only updated sporadically, check out Club Trillion (

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