Stuff That Matters
Posted by jtbourne on March 10, 2009 · 4 Comments
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I keep a written list of the stupid stuff I want to write on my blog, and occasionally (as you’ve probably noticed), I go through it and write a blog of raging unimportance. I usually skip a few little thoughts for whatever reason, so today I’ve decided to go back and honor those neglected, so here goes:
Does anybody print anymore? You know, not with computers, but with a pen, words, on paper? I’m a guy, so I wasn’t blessed with naturally bubbly printing. Plus, I’m impatient so I always tried to write a thousand words per second. Because of this, when I do write, I use cursive, so my writing fully looks like I’m in seventh grade. But I’ve done it so infrequently since college that I’m openly embarrassed by my writing now. Even my all-capitalized-man-printing looks like a six-year-old chewed on a crayon and printed it with his teeth. Thank god for computers.
That picture reminds me. Does anybody not love crayons? Something about new school supplies in general are satisfying. So much hope for the future I guess (though if crayons are considered school supplies, I’m assuming they won’t be scrawling anything Pulitzer worthy). My girlfriend is creepily obsessed with school supplies, which is fine, but I’ve gotta draw the line at using those tabbed chapter markers in binders. I’ll find what I’m looking for, thanks.
The names of exits, cities and towns around Long Island are awesome. If I ever get to name another blog, or book, or band, I’m just gonna start stealing them. I gave serious thought to starting a second blog just so I could name something “Rockaway Boulevard”.
And while I’m on driving, is there anything worse than having to make stops on the way home (okay, probably, but it sucks, right?)? You’ve been out all day, running stupid errands, you’re hungry and dreaming about sweatpants. You hop in the passenger side of the car and your driver says “I just have to stop real quick to pick up a prescription”. Or developed pictures. Or a sack of French baguettess. Whatever it is, you know it’s going to suck. Something won’t be right, you’ll have to wait ten minutes, or drive somewhere else, now we’re out of gas, I-hate-you-take-me-home.
I like a cup of tea in the morning. Give it a go. Those Euro’s with their warm breakfasts are really on to something. For some reason starting the day with a stomach full of cold circles in milk with O.J. doesn’t leave me feeling as satisfied and ready as sausage, eggs and tea. I will continue to run nannerpus at every opportunity. His freaking eye coming off is priceless.
The Haney Project on the golf channel has Hank Haney trying to fix Charles Barkley’s swing, which is like trying to fix your dog’s jump shot. Probably only gonna make so much progress.
In the first episode Charles snap-hooks one and his curse is: “God-bless-my-muhtha…” I love it.
And lastly, I have a question. Could those “are you a human” questions be any more difficult?? You know, the ones where you’re signing up for something, or submitting something online, and you have to type the letters you see? It’s usually like a magic eye with a word-and-a-half that don’t actually exist in what appears to be the Russian alphabet. Does it need to be that difficult? I usually apply the three strike rule, which means that after my third attempt I start writing myself hate mail for being such a loser.
And that’s where my head is at. See you Isles die-hards tonight at Gabrielles in Rockville Center!
I'm a hockey player turned writer. After playing for Alaska Anchorage in the WCHA (NCAA), I carried on with an NHL tryout (New York Islanders in 2007) before spending a couple seasons in the AHL/ECHL (last year was 2008-09). My father, Bob Bourne, won four Stanley Cups with the Islanders in the '80's, as did my fiancee's dad, Clark Gillies. I'm now the web editor for theScore's hockey blog "Backhand Shelf."
hahaha you’re such an idiot … love ya bourne
Signage: No comment on No Conduit Blvd (Queens) Naturally it’s North Conduit – but I always take solace in being one of the only people who ask “Why isn’t there a freaking conduit? WHY?!? Someone has to know!”
Further out east: No Ocean Ave, again – its North Ocean, but it’s such a peculiar abbreviation that you have to let your mind wander. “Where did they put the ocean and what kind of engineering did they have to put into place to do so?”
You should do a blog entry on Long Island town names. Your readers are likely unaware of the Native American heritage here on the Island. Towns like Connetquot, Shinecock, Copiague, Massapequa, Wantagh, Nissequoge, Seatauket, and Quoge sure don’t roll of the tongue of visitors to the area and are extremely funny to hear their every attempt at doing so.
The anti-spam measures put in place that you refer to are called CAPTCHA, to keep bots from trolling websites and filling out forms to push the latest and greatest erectile dysfunction pill or sex site. There was one I saw the other day that included fractions…..im not talking like 1/4, 1/3 or 1/2 either. Example: ¼ ½ ¾
How many people really know the ALT numbers for special characters?
Another classic look at the mind of Justin Bourne – someone equally as random as me, just with more patience to put his thoughts into words!
School shopping is the best, Long Island rocks (I miss it), and my kids now complete the sentence “You can call me…” without fail.
Hey Justin, great site. I talked to you and Brianna a bit last night at Gabrielle’s about the Lighthouse and your impending move to Boston…You can click my name to check out the Lighthouse blog, and you should have my email address now, as well. I look forward to telling you allll about the best beer places up in Boston.
As for place names, let’s start with the highway you were on – the Van Wyck. Nobody not from around here knows it’s pronounced “Van WIKE” and named after the first mayor of NYC after the 5 boroughs merged. I live to inform…