St. Patty's PontificationsShareThis
Happy St. Patricks Day! As an Irish/Ukranian/CompleteMutt, today I claim the one that lets me join the festivities as an insider.
How insane is St. Patty’s Day? It’s the only day of the year where we blatantly celebrate drinking. Sure, we drink on other holidays, but today is the day. There are no other well-known holidays where we celebrate entire ethnic groups within the country. It’s not like there’s a St. Rossi’s day where we all scarf an excess of cannoli’s. But the Irish are nationally loved for their specialty (the bottle), and frankly… everyone’s okay with it. Enjoy your St Patty’s Day!
Now let’s begin the randomness.
Nobody in sports writing is better than Bill Simmons.
It’s over. He’s mastered the ability to smoothly phrase what the sports-loving average Joe says in the stands, while peppering it with wit that’s tough to find.
It seems at some point, life forces men to hang out with their “boys” a bit less. It’s tough to justify a three beer lunch to your wife when you’re trying to save money for retirement and you had to pick up your kid from school on the way home. Pff. Women.
Reading Simmons makes you feel like you’re having that same conversation you would with the guys, but safely from your house. Plus, when you get the vibe that Simmons is being a dick (which isn’t infrequent), you don’t have to fake interest like you might in person. I do predict him getting too big for his britches at some point and saying something across the line, thus getting in some hot water. He already walks a pretty thin line, but I love it.
Next: Isn’t it time to give “that guy” in commercials his due? I have no idea his name, but I know he’s hilariously subtle in more commercials than I can name. I can’t really remember the products he’s been pushing either, all I know is I laugh at every commercial this guy is in. Obviously not Dustin Pedroia, but the other guy.
The wink after “it’s called integrity” is key.
Moving along: A smart hockey friend of mine that plays in the American League recently sent me this text, and he might be right: “Ovechkin is the best to ever play the game. No question. No debate.”
I wanted the Canadian Crosby to just do it the right way like a good Canuck would, show him the way this game is supposed to be played, and he has. The problem is, Ovechkin is so good, normal rules don’t apply. It’s like playing one on five basketball on a Fisher Price hoop against seven year olds. When you have that much of an advantage, it doesn’t matter what your opponent does. He’s just that good. I’m still gonna dunk, and Ovi is still going to take a slapbomb off some goalies collar bone, the crossbar and the mesh for a powerplay goal.
At a difficult economic time in the US, with a good product and a strong need for attendance, wouldn’t this be the worst possible time to implement fight-removal rules in the NHL? Not that we should appeal to the lowest common denominator, but have you ever asked a non-hockey player why they like to watch? Why they don’t watch boxing (or UFC), I’ll never know.
Regardless, the NHL will gladly take their money. It’s a part of the game (for reasons that would warrant their own column, had the topic not been over-written), so let’s deal with that when we start turning away fans at the ticket windows.
Old school reference: I kinda like Jim Carrey. I feel like Liar Liar is underrated in the all-time funny movie department. Not top five maybe, but worthy of having in the collection. I hadn’t thought of it in awhile until I saw the classic bit on Family Guy the other day:
Speaking of Family Guy, is the gay guy funny enough for everyone yet? I can barely handle watching him or Herbert (shown here)without laughing (largely because the Isles/Sound Tigers Andrew McDonald does Herbert better than Herbert). Check the hilarious homo here:
Anyways, enjoy today, and I dunno, maybe run a water through your liver at some point! Just a little suggestion. – Justin O’Burne (as the last name was only four generations back!)