Some House-Cleaning
Posted by jtbourne on April 7, 2009 · 19 Comments
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Bourne’s Blogers:
For a guy who’s only common complaint from friends is an excess of content, I fear for my readers in the near future.
My current life is a bit frazzled. I’m heading home to Kelowna to help Dad with the bookings and marketing of his Legends camp, and sadly, will be attending my Grandmothers funeral. Sweetest lady ever.
On a brighter note, I’m still being asked to put out steady amounts of work for other sites. That keeps me plenty busy, so combining that with finishing my last class towards my degree by April 21st, and my little journal of notes has become full of more crap than an outhouse. Let’s have a few stupid comments before I start with The Masters and Playoffs (did I mention those were coming up?).
But first: I’m in the Seattle airport, a lob wedge away from the spot I spent 40 plus hours just days before Christmas. Jaw wired shut, bringing my girlfriend home for her first Christmas with the family, I forgot my passport like a 12 year old. She had to go on to Kelowna while I waited for my passport. It got sent out within hours… just in time for the airport to close due to weather. I drank Odwalla smoothies and pain medicine, and tried to figure out how high a jetway would have to be for me to jump off and die, instead of just wounding me further. Sadly, nothing met the minimum requirements.
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Everyone likes a good burger to bun ratio right? I was looking at buying those mini potato buns and making my patties the size of frisbees, until I stumbled into the bunless burgers at TGI Fridays. Now that’s a ratio. What they’ve done, is taken the bun out of the equation. It’s very complicated. Somebody notify the people who award the Nobel Prize for Meat Ratios, these guys accomplished a solid 1:0. They still give out that award, right?
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Nick Price is the next Johnny Miller. Lately I’ve been concerned at the age of my favourite sportscasters (mostly because they’ve been collecting social security since it’s inception).
I mean, if we lose Madden (heart attack), Bob Cole and Harry Neale (sadness at the Leafs perpetually high suck-factor), Dick Vitale (heart attack), and Johnny Miller (jealousy, when he realizes we’ll never think he was in Jack Nicklaus’s class), who do we have left? Absolutely nobody in hockey (Pierre McGuire can puck himself). But don’t fear golf fans. Nick Price thinks everyone sucks too, and with the accent, it sounds classy. Throw another shrimp on the barbe, Nick.
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A couple times I’ve written things in my journal after an extra drink or two, and the next day, I can never quite figure out what I meant to say. Help?
Seth Rogen movie machine (I assume I had a negative take?) — Fred Couples crush (ummm….) — Hate the Devils — No Mo Plaxico — Ron Dugay (what the….) — Pepper salad (….I guesss… so…).
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Daily Show correspondents. No show is churning out pop culture stars like this show, not even SNL. Okay, maybe SNL. But these guys get like a one minute skit and blow up. Steve Carrel. Steven Colbert. Rob Corddry. There’s more, but I’m banging this out before my flight so you get about the same amount of research out of me right now that any of my “intro to…” professors got.
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That Heineken commercial is hilarious (it’s in Dutch or something, but you’ll get it):
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Alright! Starting tommorrow I’ll be getting actual hockey information from Canadian sportscasters. Gotta love it. The blog is lookin’ up, hockey fans!
I'm a hockey player turned writer. After playing for Alaska Anchorage in the WCHA (NCAA), I carried on with an NHL tryout (New York Islanders in 2007) before spending a couple seasons in the AHL/ECHL (last year was 2008-09). My father, Bob Bourne, won four Stanley Cups with the Islanders in the '80's, as did my fiancee's dad, Clark Gillies. I'm now the web editor for theScore's hockey blog "Backhand Shelf."
Too funny, a video of a paid advertisement for beer being removed over copyright claim. I guess they don’t want anyone to profit unfairly from their work.
I’m not huge on the guy or anything, but I have never understood why so many people hate Pierre McGuire. I’m assuming a lot of people like him or else he wouldn’t get the work, but he seems to be pretty polarizing… is it his whole “I breathe hockey” thing?
You forgot to mention how much you’ll miss your girlfriend… remember, the one you’ve spent the last 6 weeks with??
look in your journal… its probably somewhere near ‘off broadway pub bill’ or ‘there’s dog hair in my food again’. <3
Justin sorry for your loss it sucks for a long time but remember the good times and laugh always helps…….Was never a fan of PM but love Millbury we get him in Boston too for some games… no “to much fighting in hockey “from him!!!!
Ha, wow, yeah.. I’ll have to find that video elsewhere.
I hate being McGuire for a couple reasons, but the biggest is because he tells you he’s 100% right. Part of a commentators job is speculation, but I don’t need to hear “On that play Sidney Crosby sees Malkin coming in from the other side of the net so he thinks ‘okay, I’m gonna shoot this one over the net so it’s a pass off the high glass and lands at his feet’”. Really Pierre? Tell me what else guys were thinking… And then there’s the breathing hockey things. He comes at you like a runaway train with an avalanche of overbearing. I want him to settle down and talk, because he has a lot of good information.
Hahahahaha, I will miss you terribly, of course. Funny that I don’t have those written down, I must’ve gotten way too comfortable with consuming enough hair to outfit a terrier. Love you!
Thanks for the kind words.
By the way, you can have Milbury. That joke drove the Islanders into the ground for more years than I can count.
Sorry to hear about your Grandmother, Justin. It’s never easy.
Watching Bruins games on Center Ice is painful because of Milbury. Sometimes he says something interesting, but every time he talks about a guy like Chara or anyone else that was Isles property, I just laugh and think how good could the Isles have been if he didn’t trade away young players like there was no tomorrow? And I’m from Philly, so as much as I disagreed with some moves Bob Clarke made, Milbury’s moves make him look brilliant.
No love for PM here. I can’t stand the lingo he uses. Things like “Excellent job by Parise in that last sequence…” or “That’s just a huge bodyslam by Phaneuf!” or “Schenn just erased Heatley along the boards”. He uses these terms that people just don’t say in hockey circles. I also hate how he uses player’s full names when the player himself doesn’t, i.e. “Christopher Pronger”, “Matthew Stajan”.
By the way, Harry Neale is pretty much gone up here already. Not on HNIC anymore, and Bob Cole doesn’t usually do the national broadcast either – that goes to Jim Hughson (who is great). Gotta love Chris Cuthbert on TSN too, him and Hughson still have a lot of years in them to look forward too.
I dont know much about Milbury’s past jobs so that doesnt affect my judgement of his in studio work which compared to some of the guys around the league is damn good (i get NHL center ice and the NHL channel ). Justin if your still headed to Boston I think you will see that next season when you become a huge BRUINS fan ..Its ok even if your Canadian … You will even get hooked on RedSOX…
Haha, that was a really good analysis of Pierre.
I’m sad to hear Neale is gone, that sucks. Hughson does to a good job though, so I suppose in 20 years I may be calling him “classic”. I’ll keep my eyes/ears peeled for this Cuthbert fella.
The Isles have an amazingly successful record in the draft, and Milbury managed to punch every Isles fan in the stomach with what he did with them.
IMHO, Milbury could have been quietly led out of the building for thinking that a) “pansification” was a word that should be used by a man in a suit, and b) “pansification” would take off as the great new buzz word of the NHL if he just said it a lot. Let’s call guys with visors “euroweaklings” and guys who won’t fight and wear nice clothing “h-mos”. And then trade Luongo for Mark Parrish and Oleg “I’m in Russia” Kvasha (wait, they say they want Jokinen too). And then hit a fan with a shoe. I love Milbury like you love a kid who tries to jump off his roof onto the trampoline into the pool but he’s a trainwreck.
Yeah PM is definitely forcin it
Holy Crap guys how do you really feel about MM.Let it GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…..I suppose Don Cherry is a ROLE MODEL ….crap I hope not
He hosted my Dad induction ceremony with the Isles too, and was half in the bag. And by that, I mean he was in it, with the top sealed. Told Clark Gillies (trying to be funny) that he was more of an Islander than he ever will be because had more years with the team (13, to Clarks 12 – as 4 time cup champ), and told another ex player they’d never be having an induction like this for him, while on the mic. Classy.
ok he is a dick enough said about him !!!
Haha, sorry, you struck a nerve.
My condolences on the loss of your grandmother.
As for Milbury – UGH!!!! If I never hear or see him again it will be TOO soon. I think he single- handedly went out of his way to destroy the Isles relationship with our Cup teams’ alumni in addition to making the most moronic trades in hockey history. He was a decent analyst when he was at ESPN. I wish he would have stayed there and never set foot in Islander Country. I will NEVER consider him an Islander. EVER!
Rant over.
Justin, I just heard about your grandmother… My condolences to you and your family.