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Are You Ready For Some Football??



Things I felt like bringing up today:

Google Analytics, as I’ve mentioned before, is amazing.  Without telling me the specific information on users, it tells me fun stuff like what cities people are checking my blog from (shout out to readers in Nykoping, Neuilly-sur-Marne, Ramat Gan, and Cagayan de Oro…seriously), what site referred them to me, and what internet connection speeds my readers were using that particular day. 

Where am I going with this? 

I have to know:  Who the hell are you, people connecting via dial-up internet??  It’s not even cheaper at this point.  I’d never checked that stat until yesterday, when four of my readers apparently connected via dial-up.  I just want to know so I can call every single one of you and knock you off your respective modems.


NHL TV’s “portal” site is pretty neat.

This summer I met a couple of the guys who were working on the launch of this site, and it really did turn out great – fully functional, with plenty of hours to be wasted.  And the best part is, each team has an individual page (great news for all you rabid Hurricanes fans), and each video comes with the “share” URL, so I can chuck them into my blog when relevant.  Or when not.  I’ll wait for something good to go up before I waste your time.


Today’s walk-up-to-bat music is probably “Run This Town Tonight” – Rihanna, Jay Z and Kanye, off Jay Z’s just-released album, Blueprint III (of course, I’d have the music guy start it after Rhinna’s part – possibly cutting right to Kanye’s verse {2:50}).  Parental Advisory – Explicity Lyrical Content:


PS – Kanye’s — “Whatchu think I rap for, to push a f****n Rav 4?” — is my favourite rap line in awhile. 


 And the big news:

HEEELLLLLLOOOOOOOO FOOTBALL SEASON!  I feel so… American for being this excited.  But I can’t help it, I just am.  

football football football football

football football football football

The new look Jets with Sanchez under center?  Rodgers ready to throw a disgusting amount of touchdowns?  Brett goddamn Favre is a Viking?  They’re letting Michael Vick play again?  It’s all too much.

The NFL is the only sport that holds a candle to the NHL in the “highlight montage to music” category. 

Can’t we make this a channel?  Just non-stop videos of music paired with crazy-sick sports highlights?  Who wouldn’t watch this?  The Masters has ownership of first place overall on “montages-that-make-me-wanna-cry”, but the NFL and NHL share first place in “montages-that-make-me-want-to-punch-every-face-I-see-in-the-next-ten-minutes-cause-I’m-so-fired-up”.

So grab your case of beer, book your Sundays off, and get into it.  Jets at Houston this weekend, J-E-T-S Jets-Jets-Jets!


20 Responses to “Are You Ready For Some Football??”
  1. ms.conduct says:

    I’ll be at that Jets game Sunday and will tweet it for ya. Because WTF else is there to do with the 10 minutes between each play? Worse, I can’t even drink because I have to play later that day and I already play goal like I’m 3 sheets to the wind even when I’m stone cold sober and having a good night.

  2. Mike says:

    Dial-up’s my backup, when the high-speed’s out or I’m stuck in a bad press box. I don’t like it any more than you do. Oh, and I disabled call-waiting, so, nice try.

  3. jtbourne says:

    One of the most backward comments I’ve ever heard. Not drinking at one of eight NFL home games you’re able to go to, because you have a recreational hockey league game. If you played for the Aero’s, I’d be like… yeah, maybe lay off the pints. But what are you doooiiiinnngg??? We’re in a small (but important) fight.

  4. Deirdre says:

    @ ms.conduct

    If you already play like you’re 3 sheets to the wind then maybe the addition of alcohol will improve things! Though I’d recommend sticking with the softer stuff. One must always remember: “First you play the hockey, THEN you drink the Tequila”

  5. ms.conduct says:

    First of all, God help me if I have to go to 8 Houston Texans home games. I mean seriously. Come down this fall and go to one. You won’t believe what a soul sucking experience it is. They pipe in crowd cheering noises over the speakers… I’m not kidding. Plus, it’s the Texans.

    Second of all, typical forward. Here’s the deal, Sparky, I’m the goalie. You wingers can show up drunk and play like crap and nobody gives a damn because you’re not that important. *I* play like crap and I get “the look”… you know (actually you don’t because you haven’t been there), I’m on my knees, pucks in the net, ref’s all “don’t you wish you had a back-up they could put in? haha” and my defensemen are giving me “the look.” Like, “why do you keep showing back up here?” I can only imagine how not amused these “lookers” would be if I showed up blitzed and I’m racking up a football-sized score. Again. Ugh.

  6. jtbourne says:

    First off, I have the power to edit your comments, that’ll be the last Sparky.

    Second, nobody’s suggesting you show up drunk, important goalie gal. I’m suggesting the 09 NFL schedule was released in 1918 I think, find someone else to play a game for you!

    Third, sometimes I forget you live in the US where not every other person plays hockey, but if anybody knows goalies, you know goalies. Its not too late. Soul-sucking only sucks if you aren’t sucking down something soul-soothing. Like pints of bad draught beer.

  7. ms.conduct says:

    See, now that’s backwards… to suggest I miss hockey (and it’s a game night, not a practice!) so that I can drink enough to make football seem fun? That’s the craziest of crazy talk.

  8. Jake says:

    Walk-up-to-bat music, Rawfist – Thousand Foot Krutch or Move – Thousand Foot Krutch? Which is better?
    Let’s go Seahawks! Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap!

  9. Beckmann says:

    Welcome to the darkside buddy…’s all downhill now that you’ve converted like me! I think officially football season starts tomorrow night for us!

  10. Maria says:

    best literal “walk up to bat music” is probably magic stick by 50 cent…I mean come on…how is that NOT funny?? and seriously ive heard that SEVERAL times at baseball games (most notably being kevin youuuuuukilis when he was playing AA ball in portland, ME) hahaha. hows that for random fact of the day?

  11. hockeygirl3 says:

    I have finally determined after all this time… my “walk up to bat song” …would probley be “Eye of the tiger”

  12. jtbourne says:

    That’s… just… awful.

  13. Officer Koharski says:

    Here’s a question that has nothing at all to do with your post: Should I take Goligoski and drop Rivet on my fantasy team? Rivet is a PIM machine but you know Goligoski is gonna rack up points if he can make the big club. He got 6 goals and almost 20 helpers in limited amount of games before being sent down. Hard decision. Any Pens fans have an idea of his shot of making the team and sticking?

    To be more relevant: My Walk up song would be this:
    I can see myself striding up there in fast motion, taking a few practice swings and dropping the bat, then slipping on the plate, then knocking over the catcher and being chased around by the ump.

  14. jtbourne says:

    I dont know how your league rewards PIM vs. points, but I would definitely make that move. Goligoski isn’t a “bubble guy” in Pitt – they signed him to a three year, $5.5 million dollar extension this summer.

    I clicked your link, and thats a hilarious up to bat song, especially if you’re only gonna get one in your career.

  15. Stewy says:

    So, based on the dial up comment… my parents live so far out in the sticks that the only thing available to them is dial up. When they moved to BFE and called to get their cable and high speed internet the cable operator basically laughed, said you live where and then apologized and hung up.

  16. hockeygirl3 says:

    eye of the tiger, awful ??

  17. fish says:

    Why is it called “football” they hardly touch the “ball”? (that ain’t no ball it’s a… euhm, eliptoid thingy) with their feet anyway.

    It’s a sport I’ll never understand, all those stops and starts and weird number names for lines… it’s just as boring as baseball is… save for the hitting… that makes “football” 0.5 % better than baseball…

  18. jtbourne says:

    If I read that right, football is “a sport you’ll never understand” while being “boring” and “0.5% better than baseball”. Tough to accurately assess a game you don’t understand, no?

  19. fish says:

    exactly, way to tactical and too much pauses for me. :)

  20. fish says:

    a couple nights ago i saw a part (i changed the channel after 15 minutes) of a game between the bills and the patriots. standing guy gets ball, other team tries to quash him, guy with ball throws ball (nice pass btw) some other guy catches the ball (nice grip, that ball looks slippery to me) and starts running. He sees some guy fromt he other team run up to him, and obviously thinks “oh noes, i’m gonna get tackeld, i’ld better slow down” and both of them repose gently on the ground (with a piledriver thrown in for added “go get them”-bonus points). that was 5 seconds, now comes 30 seconds of guys running on and off the field, 2 lines (red and yellow) pop up, announcer starts saying stuff really excitedly that has a lot of numbers in and we start again for another 5 second play. I’m sorry but I just can’t watch that… I get bored, probably because I have NO idea whatsoever what and why stuff just happened and what that announcer guy is talking about, but for crying out loud, I can even watch 30 minutes of cricket without knowing what’s going on, or an hour of curling, before I get bored…

    So It’s not that I can’t stand boring, or not knowing what’s going on. But if you’ve ever played a little board game by the name of Blood Bowl and/or seen a good hard physical game of rugby (a lot less interruptions, and no, I don’t know those rules either except that passing backwards is a must. Weird Brits) I guess American football to me, is just a dissapointing show…

    So now you know where my assesment comes from. But hey, if anybody ever wants to get an internet connection going to explain the game to me I promis to put in some effort.

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