Seeing The Not-So-Big Picture
Posted by jtbourne on July 8, 2009 · 15 Comments
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Well, it’s that time again. Time to clear out the olllll’ random thoughts locker. Enjoy the ride (and feel free to share your thoughts).
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It’s not okay to tack the word “fish” onto “tuna”. We don’t do this with other meats. Nobody says vealcow. We don’t even do it with other fish, because when I say “trout”, your brain functions well enough to know that trout aren’t raised in coops and they don’t graze in pastures.
Tuna. It’s a fish. We know.
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A lot of media personel undergo a heavy dousing of makeup before they go on-screen, especially with today’s high-def TV’s. If this is what Jack Cafferty looks like after dragging his face through a pile of cover-up, can we speculate how frightening he must be prior to his daily paint job?
(I bet his wife never gets the hiccups)
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Let’s come to a consensus on “in” versus “on” line. I’m an avid “in” supporter, I think for obvious reasons. There’s a line. Then you stand in it. You know, amoungst the people.
I would understand if it was a vertical line, in which the bottom person were next to get called, and you were physically standing on all the people, how “I’m on line” would be an acceptable sentence. But until I can convince everyone at the bank to dogpile, let’s all run with “in”, cool?
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How do we feel about showing up to watch your record broken?
Pete Sampras showed up to Wimbledon to watch Roger Federererer win his 15th Grand Slam title, the one that put him a notch ahead in the record books. He’s gotta be a bit rattled right? Didn’t Hank Aaron basically say fuhgehdaboudit to showing up when Barry “GonnaNeedABail” Bonds broke his record?
I guess I’d show up. It’s the classy thing to do, and everybody talks about how great you were for a day. It just seems insincere, right? These guys have to be uber-competitive to win that much in the first place, and then they show up smiling to watch their accomplishments beat. Can you imagine Tiger Woods at 81 years old watching some kid top one of his records? He’d wrap a hickory-shafted niblick-mashie around some young punks necks to make sure it never happened again.
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Gary Busey is f**ked.
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Has any movie seen such a slow post-release rise to glory as Super Troopers? Is there anybody out there who likes comedy that doesn’t have it in their top few by this point? Maybe Office Space gives it a run for the late-blooming cult love affair title, but this one continues to age like a fine wine.
Cream?.. Cream?.. Okay, no cream.
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I’m thinking about becoming a cyber hobo. That’s all you need to know for now.
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(Warning: Anne from Champ Bulldogs has sent a file of kryptonite for the guy at F U Penguin (www.fupenguin.com). Tomorrow I unleash these adorable little bitches on the world)
I'm a hockey player turned writer. After playing for Alaska Anchorage in the WCHA (NCAA), I carried on with an NHL tryout (New York Islanders in 2007) before spending a couple seasons in the AHL/ECHL (last year was 2008-09). My father, Bob Bourne, won four Stanley Cups with the Islanders in the '80's, as did my fiancee's dad, Clark Gillies. I'm now the web editor for theScore's hockey blog "Backhand Shelf."
bravo, you have successfully made my Wednesday morning worthwhile, i know that probably gives u no satisfaction, as thats not your goal…but still, very funny one this morning!
the whole thing was good, but im still laughin so hard about one simple line…
“I bet his wife never gets the hiccups”
that one just gets me!
thanks for the continuous laughs!
Thank god I had a black box in college when Super Troopers came out on Free-per-view. It provided endless hours of entertainment and countless hours of quotes from the movie. I’ll never forget playing the ‘cat game’ during presentations in one marketing class I took, the look on the professors face after 3 straight presenters rambled out about 53 ‘meows’ was priceless. Their first movie ‘Puddle Cruiser’ while not as funny is highly entertaining and I recommend you check that out.
….and that was the second time I got crabs.
My college life consisted of watching Office Space and playing the drinking game we invented to it. Basically, you drank at funny parts. Basically, I’ve never seen the end.
Thorny: Where you boys headed?
College Boy 1: Canada.. we were goin’ to Canada for some French fries and gravy, sir.
Thorny: Canada, huh? Almost made it.
jl
No I don’t think you get it bourne. Its a log with the word “on” written on it…. get it…. log on???
The best movie that was never big in theatres is Run Ronnie Run, a great David Cross movie. One of the best modern comedies I can think of and no one has even heard of it.
Beat the hell out of Grandma’s Boy, at least.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0258100/
I am with you on Run Ronnie Run! That movie is heeeelarious! Joe Dirt was a complete rip off of that movie. Also I hope the planned prequel for Super Troopers doesn’t try to hard and just stays classic Broken Lizard style.
PS: Bourno, you butt dialed me again the other day. If you are gonna have a big boy phone learn the lock function lol! Or when you realize you butt dialed me, call me back and say hello real quick. I have no friends until hockey season starts again.
Have yet to see Super Troopers.
Office Space seems to be funnier every time I watch it, if that is even possible, cause it was pretty damn funny the first time.
JT and all, please Netflix a film called “Man Bites Dog”. This is a Belgian mockumentary from the 90′s. A couple of dopey-filmmakers follow around a famous serial-killer. Complications ensue. Dialogue in French with subtitles. Won two awards at Cannes. Hilarious. I made a bunch of my hockey buddies watch this flick, and they all loved it. And there’s not even any hockey in it. So there is my eccentric movie-pick of the week.
JT…I can’t help but ask, what are your top five or ten all time favorite flicks? Indulge us if you will.
Commentators referencing Super Troopers AND Man Bites Dog….this blog might have some legs.
the smiley face in the top right corner of your page drives me bananas….
Ha, that’s hilarious. I’ve heard that before, and I’ve scoured the blog to find it and haven’t been able to until today. Why do I feel like it hates everyone, just hiding up there, judging, judging…
I don’t own many DVD’s – here’s my collection:
1. Good Will Hunting
2. The Departed
3. Stand-up Comedy must haves: “I’m telling you for the last time” Jerry Seinfeld, Eddie Murphy “Raw” and “Delirious”
4. The “Planet Earth” and “Blue Planet” box sets
5. Super Troopers
6. Office Space
7. Family Guy box sets
8. Liar Liar
9. Um, The Emporers New Groove?
10. Primal Fear (underrated)
11. Slapshot
And Scarface, of course. If you want to be a true baller you need at least two TV’s somewhere in the house playing Scarface around the clock.
Seriously though Run Ronnie Run is a movie you will love if you like Super Troopers, Office Space and movies of that ilk. You can get it at Blockbuster, netflix, whatever. It’s goddamn hilarious, and yeah, Joe Dirt was a less funny ripoff of a similar premise.
I’m diggin’ everyones movie input. I’ll have to check out Run Ronnie Run, but I’m more excited to see Man Bites Dog from the description.
Ok, I’m from Belgium, the only reason I know which movie “man bites dog” is because you said it’s about a serial killer.
The original title is “c’est arrivé pres de chez vous” meaning something along the lines of “it has come close to you” My favourite part is where he shouts an old lady to death.
Man bites dog is a flemish daily program (about 30 min) about random stuf and people…
The original Taxi film (not the one with queen latifah) is really funny to (it’s french)