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Relationships in Sports


Yesterday was awesome.  It was just one of those rare, things-are-going-great days.

On top of that, I dug up a good half-dozen topics, a few of which are column worthy.  Let’s attack the rest in a happy awesome Thursday party edition.


First, here’s some shit I’d straight up dance alone to.

…it was that or Ice Cube’s “Today was a good day.”  Beggin’ won.


Nordic women headbutt people for fun.

Nordic women headbutt people for fun.

How about Tiger winning Athlete of the Decade (as voted by the Associated Press) yesterday?  Does that come with a cash prize to split with his soon-to-be ex-wife?  Or does he at least win a new girlfriend or two?  Somebody help a playa out, the guy must be in a serious drought (Ohh, we’re all having fun at his expense.  Check out the Sports Pickle entry after Tiger announced he was taking a leave of absense from golf, titled: ”Elin Woods Taking Indefinite Leave of Absence From Tiger’s Penis“).

He definitely deserves the title “Athlete of the Decade”.  Dude won a dozen majors and conquered everything in his path.  …Eh?  Eh?  You’re readin’ my mail on that, …aaaalright!


But speaking of Tigeresque men…

CBS Sports writes a must-read article on infidelity in the NFL.  It’s a pretty depressing look at the ho-hum attitudes some guys have about the girls on the side that some of the players admit to having (the article set out to see if the death of Steve McNair at the hands of his mistress had an effect on guys.  It did for a bit, but then that one chick was soooo hot, and they totally forgot). 

Because this is how normal adults act.

Because this is how normal adults act.

I’ve always liked Kris Jenkins of my NY Jets, who I think gives the most likable, reasonable view on the topic: (which, incidentally, is the same one a 13 year old would give) “If you’re going to be married, be married.”  The views that were least valid came from Kurt Warner, strictly because choosing to have seven kids proves you’re utterly devoid of the tiniest sliver of good judgement.

Reggie Bush makes a good point about how so many NFL marriages crumble after players leave the game.  He says guys should do some mandatory counselling to help the transition from being at the compound 40 hours a week, in the spotlight and glorified, to family men.  Which is a really good point, but I think they edited the part where he said “and I dated Kim Kardashian cause-a that fat ass.”

 It’s typical for these NFL players to come from nothing, get rich, and get married.  Unfortunately from there, the article says players seem to immediately place their wives in the role of  their mothers, which de-sexualizes the wife, and hyper-sexualizes other women. 

Anyways.  Worth a read.


Thanks for reading, "tweeps". ...f**k.

Thanks for reading, "tweeps". ...f**k.

Sooo, people use Twitter now, and I don’t sense it’s going away anytime soon.  Since that’s the case, can we contact the good folks running the show and have them take the pre-teen factor out of the site?  Do I really have to call a post/entry a “tweet”?  I’m still not over this.

People occasionally make really good points, or link to wonderful articles through Twitter.  I reeeeally don’t feel like it’s necessary for the site to embarrass it’s users with all the pretty-blue-bird-tweety aspect.

 So stop putting the “tw” in front of normal words.  I follow the New York Times sports section, TIME magazine and NHL news sources, yet I’m supposed to refer to these respected people as my “tweeple”.  Rot in hell and die, Twitter.


Yayyy, fun Thursday edition!


15 Responses to “Relationships in Sports”
  1. JD says:

    This is a little off topic, but it has something to do with, as Simmons would say, The Tiger Zoo. Do you think that there is a kind of informal “players union” that represents wives who have been cheated on? After reading that Elin plans to file for divorce, my first thought was, “Does she have any choice?”. I mean, 2 or 3 alleged women would have been one thing – but 12 or 15 or 27 or whatever it is at now pretty much forces her hand doesn’t it? But imagine if she decided to stick with Eldrick. It would be like Sid, Ovie and Geno Malkin saying, “You know what, screw it. We’re all gonna go to the Rangers, play for the league minimum, and run rampant over the NHL for the next 10 years”. The NHLPA would have a fit. That’s why I think the Cheated On Wives Players Association gives Elin no choice but to leave Tiger. She can even hire Scott Boras to negotiate her settlement. This thing exists right?

  2. Mike says:

    Whats up with hip hop being the new music of rebellion of youth? Especially with middle class kids? Now I am not from the streets. I once (a long time ago) was a middle class kid. Where is the punk rock? Where is the indie rock? These kids today! Guess I’m just old.

    Twitter is dumb. End discussion. But again, Im old.

  3. Alix in SJ says:

    I’m sure the NFL isn’t alone in this phenomenon.

    Considering attempting to write a similar column about that from a hockey perspective, as a former insider?

  4. ms.conduct says:

    Ditto Alix, though I’ve personally seen enough of the tip of the iceberg to wonder if I really want to know how big that sucker is down there.

    Um. That totally didn’t come out right. But you know what I mean.

  5. jtbourne says:

    If it does exist (and if it doesn’t, it should), I shotgun being one of the lawyers/advisors/jerkswhocollectsapercentage. You’d need, what, three clients to retire? We should hold a sport-wide draft for “Wives most likely to need to hire a JerkWhoCollectsAPercentage”, and if you’re right you get to represent her. I’ve got Carrie Underwood and Khloe Kardashian. And both sides of the eventual “fuckit, no one loves either of us” gay relationship between Aniston and Jessica Simpson.

  6. jtbourne says:

    It’s worse where the kids are younger, naturally. So college and junior are a natural disaster, the ECHL is a trainwreck, the AHL is car accident and the NHL is two bikes in a head-on collision. So, it sucks everywhere, but maturity helps. (cheating isn’t confined to sports, of course. It’s a Yukon-into-a-pedestrian everywhere)

  7. Frank says:

    One thing I would add in the whole infidelity discussion are the pro athletes who think they walk on water and they are better than everybody else. When kids who have an extraordinary talent in a popular sport are spotted early, they are spoiled and in some cases idolized for their talent in that sport from a very early age….and unless they have strong parents who keep the ego in check and try to maintain right life perspective for their child, isn’t it inevitable that some athletes will become arrogant and do things like run around sleeping with any willing woman or shooting people in night clubs?

    I am not saying that all pro athletes are like this….I’m just saying that maybe some of the womanizers are the arrogant ones who should have been brought up better as kids…..

  8. Char says:

    Marrying your high school sweetheart is seldom a good idea, and that goes triple for pro athletes. Play, run around, chase multiple women (or whatever), grow up, and THEN get married. What’s the rush?

  9. Neil says:

    That’s an interesting comment about turning their wives into mothers (even their own) and sexualizing other women. Maybe there is more instinct going on there than people would care to admit? Maybe these wealthy athletes are doing something that most if not all men unconciously think about or do to a smaller extent, but the athletes have the money/testicles/opportunity to actually indulge the sentiment?

    Some poll just found that 42% of people till look favourably on Tiger. And apparently Clinton’s big error wasn’t cheating on Hilary, it was having the audacity to look into the camera and flat-out lie about it. You can cheat on your silly wives, boys, but don’t you ever, ever lie to us.

    On an irresistible sidenote, this whole topic reveals some undertones in the homosexual rights “debate”, as gay/lesbian marriage or adoption is constantly accused of being harmfully unconventional, while successful men cheating on their wives is evidently nothing to get alarmed about unless they start lieing to people at work too, or being overly open about their affairs.

  10. Sweet … a Kurt Warner bash. I’m now officially having a “Highlander – We are brotherssss!” moment.

  11. Jbrown says:

    I think it’s sort of funny that people are shocked at all by any successful man in the public eye being unfaithful. To quote Eddie Murphy:

    “And this is the business to be in if you want some pussy. That’s why I got in show business, for pussy. I figured, if Jimmy Walker can fuck, I’m fucking everybody. And it’s like that too. When you do TV-shows, women would be throwing pussy at me on the street like frisbee.”

    Oh, by the way there’s some bad language that quote so watch out kids.

    Murphy might be talking about show business, but it applies to sports, music, movies, politics …televangelists. If you’re rich and famous, you’re gonna have more opportunities than the average male. And what he said doesn’t change if you’re married.
    I totally don’t condone cheating, but COME. ON. You’re on the road constantly, everywhere you go the hottest girls in the world are throwing themselves at you, and everyone else is doing it! What are you, a saint? Not to mention you’re constantly told how awesome you are, and there’s a culture where this is basically expected, so inhibitions are lowered further still.
    Once you’ve broken the ice, it gets easier every time. Next thing you know you’re a billionaire paying for houses for your mistresses while your wife beats the shit out of you with a golf club. My only surprise with Tiger is that he didn’t get caught sooner.

  12. Pete L says:

    Typical Jet fan trying to attribute the best line of the NFL piece to Kris Jenkins. That nugget was uttered by Michael Strahan, fprmerly of Big Blue. Wait, didn’t Strahan’s wife divorce him for cheating on her. Oh well, he could still get after the QB. Probably should’ve used the word story instead of piece, now that I think about it.

    Jenkins did have the most intelligent view of the problem, “Money is the root of all evil.” Those women wouldn’t be giving most of the those guys the time of day if they didn’t have big, fat wallets.

  13. jtbourne says:

    JBrown – I own Delirious and Raw, loved the comment.

  14. Kerstin from Germany says:

    @Jbrown: Nice comment. But what comes when you put it to the next step?
    Let’s say ok, the poor celebrities have no other choice than Sex, Drugs & RocknRoll (or Hip Hop or whatever..).
    Why do they marry at all when it is so clear that they will cheat, divorce and pay huge amount of $$$ for it?
    Another point:
    For me all celebreties of whatever genre, sports etc. have a responsibility of being a role model for whoknowswhichamountof “normal” people.
    Behaviours like consumption of drugs, cheating, violence against wife etc. committed by a celebrety is (FOR ME) always a belittlement as they ALWAYS have good reason why they behave like they behave and countless number of people adopt the thinking “when it is ok for him/her to act so, then it is for me either”…
    Additional other point:
    The unemployment rates would raise significantly if all the “reporters”, paparazzi & Co. could not write about “scandals” like these and all celebrities would act nicely. ;-)

    JtBourne: People who write every breath they take (incl. telling the world what they actually do in the bathroom………….and no I’m not talking about the kitten-story………………..) deserve no better wordings than TWEET, TWEEPLE etc.
    This is really the abyss(?) of web2.0…
    Would love to see one day, when all twitter-users would stand in the streets and shout out all the useless statements to the world they TWEED. *preparingthecameratoputitonyoutube*haha* ;-)

  15. jtbourne says:

    Kerstin – You just provided the single best example of how non-users of Twitter misunderstand it.

    Of the 58 people I currently follow, I know less than five. It’s not facebook, it’s not a social networking site. If used correctly, you never read “heading to the laundromat”. It just doesn’t happen.

    You follow things, places, media outlets that interest you, and it helps you find the most relevant information (to you) on the ‘net. So when TIME magazine has a new column out (more than everyday), they link to it with a description. If I want to read it, I do. Same with the dozen NHL writers I follow. Also, I follow a few comedians cause their tweets are hilarious. There are some people, like Bill Simmons (and incidentally, myself), that tweet some personal stuff, but that’s for people selling themselves as media members. I love when he tweets his thoughts on the basketball game he’s at. So yeah! That’s how Twitter ACTUALLY works.

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