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The Most Randomly Random Entry In Awhile



In a few weeks, it’ll be my ten year high school reunion.  Crazy, crazy stuff.

The only thing more crazy than that is I’ve reverted back to making the same amount of money now as I did then.  And then I delivered pizza and bused tables. 

Glad I could be around for this whole “death of journalism” thing.


Very. Very. Few likable players in the Finals.

I give the NHL my share of little jabs for not making the best decisions, but I had this brought to my attention yesterday: the NBA Finals are a 2-3-2 home-away-home format.

As in, if you win one of the first two games on the road, you get three straight cracks at home after that.  That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.  Sooo, the next three games of a 1-1 series are in Boston?

Doesn’t that seem insanely unfair, given that home court advantage in the NBA is like playing the entire  game on the powerplay?


What are your thoughts on playing hockey tipsy?

This an entirely new experience to me, since, y’know, I’ve never been a rec player before.  But when the game is at 10 o’clock and you have a couple beforehand, it’s an odd experience.  Can’t say I love it.

But, it seems a lot of guys do…. doesn’t it just make the game seem like it’s happening too fast?


I has waterwings.

Alright, my buddy and I batted this idea around the other day.  Nothing gets tainted or changed by doing this I don’t think, so….

Shouldn’t the NHL have some guy that sit in a booth somewhere and reviews every single play?  They could have just as much power as the on-ice refs. 

They would review every important play between whistles (like how we get to see the replays at home), and if the on-ice refs miss something, they can turn on a light at the scorers booth before the puck is dropped, or communicate it directly to the on-ice official.  So when we go ”oh, wow, penalty”, someone actually gets one.

Refs aren’t trying to miss calls, but you can’t look everywhere.  Take last game: our new booth guy would turn on a light and the ref would turn on his headset or whatever, and the guy says “yep, Briere was high-sticked by Keith off the draw, it’s a double-minor”, and the call could get made. 

We’d still need the on-ice guys because so much happens quickly that’s irreversible (offsides calls, for instance), so the refs would do the exact same job, they’d just have a safety valve for obvious calls that they miss.

We’ll never catch everything, but wouldn’t it be good to catch more?  Whaddya think?


I’m pumped “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” is on Comedy Central now.  Give it a chance.  I could watch like ten episodes in a row.


Flyers4TheCup: "No, I always though Chicago would win."

Comment sections on internet articles should have some way to lock down commenter picks, so they can’t flip flop.

As a writer, I’m held to my predictions pretty firmly.  At least you can look up what I said and call me on it.  I want a thing on Puck Daddy and here where the person’s comments on the series come from say “Jim Smith, Philly in Six”. 

It’d be awesome for me to be able to filter what everyone is saying through their own bias, the way EVERYTHING I WRITE gets filtered.


Yesterday I walked out of Costco and a guy with knee high black socks, black running shoes and a vicious side-part looked at the contents of my cart and said “good choices”.

So now I’m worried I bought stupid-looking stuff.


Yes, that panda has a mustache.

Guy Fieri host “Diners, Dives and Drive-Ins” or something like that.  Turns out one of the spots is a minute from my front door, called Chino Bandido. 

It’s “Asian-Mexican Fusion” (apparently a Chinese guy married a Mexican girl), and it’s awesome.  If you’re ever in Phoenix, look it up.  Ginger chicken burrito.  Orange chicken quesadilla.  I’m so goddamn full.  Still. (Maybe because I ate the leftovers for breakfast?) 


Okay, today’s Puck Daddy entry is on the Struggles of the Top Dogs in the Finals.  Here’s the link to yesterday’s Keith for Conn bit.  Happy Tuesday!


33 Responses to “The Most Randomly Random Entry In Awhile”
  1. Ken says:

    I like the off ice official idea. Then we could maybe go back to one ref per game instead of two. There is nothing I hate more than a play happening right in front of the one ref and him not making a call only to have the far ref make a call he couldn’t have seen any better from center ice.

    And yes “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” is hysterical. Best though to see it uncut on FX, whenever the new season comes out or get a hold of the DVDs.

  2. Goody says:

    Tipsy – did it once. It was ok through the first period, then tipsy wore off and it sucked. Apparently I needed to spike my water to keep tipsy going throughout.

    Off ice ref – the problem I see is what happens when play doesn’t immediately stop. Say Briere doesn’t go down, play goes on, Chicago scores after several minutes of whistle-less play. What happens then? Do they back the clock up several minutes, remove the goal, and send Keith to the box for 4? How many times does the clock get reset it a single game? Would a 20 minute period then become 25-30-40 minutes of actual play with only 20 counting?

  3. HockeyPhool says:

    Playing tipsy: our league has rules that prohibit playing “under the influence”, plus they don’t allow alcohol in the locker rooms or parking lot. Besides – the game already seems to be happening too fast. :-) I’ll save the imbibing for afterwards.

  4. Danimal says:

    also showon on D/D/D is a placed called Over Easy in Phoenix. Supposed to have an amazing breakfast.

  5. Pat says:

    I’m not a fan of the off ice referee. I feel like it would chop the game up too much. I think one of the great selling points is that games usually last 2 and a half hours long (unlike some of the other major 4 sports). It’s fast paced and fluid. I think if you have if you add more replays it would drag things out between whistles. Also the fans are out of the loop as it’s all going on, yes they know the play is under review but for a couple minutes they are left in the dark which leads to boredom and disinterest. I don’t think the nhl has a referee problem like the mlb or nba. The rules are pretty cut and dry if they are seen so most penaltys are called.

    Not a fan of playing tipsy either, makes it too hard to focus

  6. paul says:

    I am forever going to comment on the contents of people’s grocery carts at the supermarket from now on…

  7. Mike P. says:

    tipsy playing. Not for me. My stomach couldnt take that.

    I like the show Diners, Drive inns, and dives. I’m a big foodie. The host is the village idiot of flavor town, but the restaurants it spotlights are nice hidden gems. If you can get past the annoying host.

  8. ms.conduct says:

    I was gonna throw caution to the wind and play tipsy a while back, but ended up being responsible and only having one drink about 3 hours before I played. Lame but probably smart. I’m not good enough to overcome dulled senses and lazy limbs.

    I’ve played with/against guys who were druuuuunk. And that’s just funny, as long as they don’t run me. They’re uncoordinated and relatively worthless out there, and it’s usually the better players who are cocky enough to think they can pull it off, so it’s nice to know I don’t have to worry about them being effective. What’s funnier is that they love to sweep past the goalies in warm ups and TELL us how drunk they are. Thanks for the heads up.

    LOL’d at the Costco story. On a conference call. Without mute on.

    I’ll be contrary and say I don’t like this off ice official thing. It’s kinda… big brother. I just feel squidgy about it. Gut reaction. And it’s something they couldn’t try out first in the AHL like they prefer to do on big changes like that. Too many teams don’t have the video capability to support that.

  9. RewskiUVA says:

    It’s Always Sunny – “The Gang Gets Invincible”

    Frank: I’m startin’ to feel it.
    Charlie: I bet you are, bud.
    Frank: I’m feelin’ weird.
    Charlie: Yeah, you’re probably feeling very weird.
    Frank: The acid’s makin’ me feel like I gotta take a dump.
    Charlie: That’s what happens when you take a lot of acid, dude.
    Frank: I gotta go.
    Charlie: Then go.
    Frank: The line’s too long. Maybe I can hold it in.
    Charlie: Then go in the McPoyles’ camper, dude.
    Frank: I don’t know, that might bring back bad memories.
    Charlie: Oh my God.
    Frank: I think I wanna hold it. How you feelin’?
    Charlie: Annoyed.
    Frank: Nothin’ kickin’ in yet?
    Charlie: What are you talking about, the beer?
    Frank: No, the acid.
    Charlie: I did not take any acid, remember?
    Frank: [laughing] Oh yeah you did.
    Charlie: What are you talking about?
    Frank: I put a shitload of it in your beer.
    Charlie: What!? Is that what all those little pieces of paper were floating in my be..?!
    Frank: Yeah.
    Charlie: I drank all that shit, dude!
    Frank: That’s OK.
    Charlie: There was like a ton of acid in there!
    Frank: Yeah!
    Charlie: Why would you do that?!
    Frank: I don’t wanna be the only one trippin’.
    Charlie: Oh my God, man! Oh my God! Oh my God!…
    Frank: Charlie, I actually really need to go take a dump.
    Charlie: Shut up! I don’t care! Go! Go in the camper, dude! Get out of here!
    Frank: [walks away]
    Charlie: Oh, you sick son of a bitch, dude! Why would you d..!? Oh shit! Oh shit!

  10. St. Cloud Gopher says:

    Playing tipsy? I can’t even skate well enough sober, but it’s a rule in summer softball so how different can it be?

    Refs in the booth? Love the idea, but, as mentioned above, the reality of time and what to do with goals/other penalties makes it a bit too difficult to implement.
    How about this instead? Keith sits 4 to start the next game. No PP, but he’s lonely for the first few minutes. (Now that I say it, it doesn’t sound great. But, it’s kind of a mini-suspension that could make a player think twice.)

    Diners … Fans of the show call it “Triple-D.” It is a great show, especially if you live near enough some of the places Guy’s been to, or travel enough to get to some of those cities.

  11. RewskiUVA says:

    sorry for the poor quality.

  12. kitten fister says:

    Booze makes everything more fun!

  13. crushasaurus says:

    I play cricket near drunk every Saturday. I know you don’t have that sport, but just substitute baseball for cricket and you’ll get the idea.

  14. bluliner says:

    The off-ice official making on-ice decisions is a terrible idea, if implemented tomorrow, as it could only compound the problem with NHL officiating. What’s the problem you ask? Easy: consistency.

    Some games are called ‘tighter’ than others and some periods are called tighter than others. There’s nothing more infuriating to fans than seeing a penalty-parade in the 1st period to then witness on-ice anarchy in the 3rd, or seeing a team called for 3-4 penalties in a row AFTER the other team took 3-4 penalties in a row. A penalty is a penalty and there should never be any ‘evening things up’ to make things fair. Goaltender interference is another call/non-call that makes fans punch out their drywall.

    The 2 ref system, in my opinion, just compounds the problem. Twice as many no-calls, twice as many bad calls, and I have the feeling that refs do not want to step on each others toes when the wrong calls are and are not made. Adding another zebra w/orange arm bands has not made the game any better. That experiment has failed.

    Get rid of the extra ref, somehow make the in-game penalties consistent from night to night, and then an off-ice official would be a great idea. Mimic the NFL and have coaches ‘challenge’ calls for review; if they’re right…they’re right. If they’re wrong…they lose their time-out.

    How do you make the game consistent? Simple: hold referees accountable for their performance. Will that be easy? Hell no…

  15. Steve C. says:

    I think the NHL has just the right mix now with Toronto reviewing questionable goals.
    Anything else and you’re taking the officials off the ice more than they already are.

  16. neil says:

    Whether it’s soccer or hockey, a couple of beers beforehand almost guarantees I’ll have a shitty game. My mind goes way to slow. Tipsy snowboarding is where it’s at!

  17. jtbourne says:

    Haha, bluliner: not a fan of the idea, got it.

    My point is pretty simple, you can expand on it as you see fit. It seems pretty silly that they can show me a replay at home and I can go “hey, that was an obvious penalty”, yet the refs can’t use that information even though its available.

    You made one good point and one no-so-good point: Not-so-good: The two-ref system is better – there’s a reason they’ve kept it. The game is far too fast for one man to monitor ten players. Good: Challenge flags. EVERY sport should have this. It gives you the chance to fix an obvious call, but prevents some douchey coach from contesting every call. They should go to two timeouts as well, so there’s something to lose when you’re wrong (and more tactical stuff to use during a game).

  18. Mike says:

    - 10 year reunion is fun, everyone is still reasonably fit and ready to party.
    - There is too much NOT to like about the NBA that we can’t cover it all.
    -Playing tipsy- not a fan but you’re right, sometimes it does happen. Especially during summer when there is a Sunday evening game. “It tastes so good when it hits your lips”.. It’s tough when your brain knows how to do something that your body doesn’t. Kinda like getting old.
    - Booth ref- I like it. This would add 50% more penalty box time for a crook like Pronger.
    - Costco- big fan and that was a hilarious story. Any one store where you can walk out with a pack of hot dogs, a set of tires, some jean shorts, a big jug of MetRx and a Tom Clancy novel (which I’m sure you did) is bound to get some characters.

  19. Minnesotagirl71 says:

    I don’t know – Slippery ice, tipsy players sounds like a recipie for a head injury. Golf and bocce ball…slow pace, soft grass – now those are made to be played tipsy!

    Love the idea of the challenge flag for hockey. Maybe one per period.

    Great Costco story! Post of photo of your purchases – we’ll let you know if you bought stupid looking stuff.

  20. Josh says:

    I’m with you on your tweet about crying every year when they hand out the cup. I do it and just about everyone I know that ever played the game at a high level does too.

    I will say though, not a single cup brought out more tears than Colorado winning in ’01. I was in college at the time and balled like a baby when Sakic handed the cup to Ray Bourque. Heck, even watching those NHL commercials with the clip of that moment makes me tear up.

  21. GBCK says:

    How can you say that hockey should have a ref in a faraway booth but that the baseball game shouldn’t be overturned to be perfect. What happened to all that human element talk? Not to mention, guys like Avery put fans in the seats, if they get caught every time they will be removed from the game

  22. jtbourne says:

    GBCK – hey, baseball is about keeping the human element, I feel like hockey wants to get the calls right. I don’t really like my idea all that much either, but feel like it could be refined to miss less (near) eyeball-losing high sticks somehow, ya know?

  23. Travis says:

    Absolutely no off-ice refs to call after the fact penalties. The linesmen can already do that if the case warrants. If you can commit a crime and not be caught by four guys (even if its eyeball-losing bad, unfortunately) then good for you. It will catch up with the culprit eventully (See: Matt Cooke v. Evander Kane). ‘Nuff said… I do like the two timeouts though… Maybe each team gets one for regulation and then another if the game goes to OT (regular season and playoffs)? Have you ever touched on a 3 points for win in reg, 2 for win in OT, 1 for OTL, 0 for regulation loss type topic yet??? I know its moot until October… Just wondering. Keep up the good work JB!

  24. SDC says:

    It’d be cool if they were able to develop some sort of electronic line-call/penalty call system that they could install in an arena… similiar to the way I think tennis now has something on the lines that can sense whether a ball is in or out. Obviously a lot different with 16 humans skating as fast as they can at all times, but I don’t think it’s an impossibility.

  25. Christianson10 says:

    Justin, you cant put that in game booth system in place…Itll be the end of every tough guy who throws a cheap shot behind the refs…And its good for the fans to have a common hate in people like sean avery and chris pronger…I’m all for letting him hack a guy so 20k people can simultaneously tell him to fuck off…Its great. Correct me if I’m wrong but I’m sure you loved to hear your team boo another teams player…Whether it be a Briere or a Pronger

  26. Doogs says:

    Tipsy? I learned my lesson as a child when I saw Hyannisport legend Nick Brophy piss all over himself during a game. A sobering experience…

  27. Greg says:

    On playing tipsy:

    I’m a goalie for a couple different rec teams…and there aren’t many games where I haven’t had a few beforehand. On one of my teams, the beer brought for after the game is sometimes consumed before the game in the locker room…..

    In my case, I think a couple beers helps to loosen up the old joints….

  28. jtbourne says:

    Doogs – Ha, I was struggling to remember the name Nick Brophy. One of my rec teammates plays WASTED with regularity and we throw that line around a lot. (btw, he’s really good even drunk)

    Greg – Yeah, our locker room certainly isn’t shy about getting a head start, mostly cause we have a pretty good team. I wrote that cause last game they over-indulged, and we got smoked. Im thinking the pre-gaming may slow down a bit….

  29. Char says:

    I like the idea of an off-ice official for something like a guy suddendly dripping blood and none of the on-ice officials seeing it. (Like Chara getting his nose smashed by a Semin high stick.)

    Not an NBA fan, but I think Rajon Rondo is pretty likeable.

  30. MHCranberry says:

    My 10 year reunion is this weekend. I’m anxious about it and I’m not even going to the real thing (just the afterparty).

    The NBA’s 2-3-2 doesn’t make sense until you remember that the two teams in the playoffs are in Boston and LA. Does anyone- ANYONE- want to go 2-2-1-1-1 with that travel? Additionally, the officiating in this series is reminding me why I stopped watching on a consistent basis this season. You don’t even get to watch basketball anymore– just dudes diving, whining, acting shocked and dicking around at the FT line.

    I agree with you about challenge flags, by the way.

    One thing I HATE about the NBA: if anyone says anything bad about the refs or any of their calls, they get slapped with a $25,000 fine.

    I think the problem in any sport comes when the officials become too, well, self-centered. There are some guys who like making big calls or controversial calls or whatever, because it makes them feel powerful or special or whatever. This is the same logic as people wanting to keep the “human element” in baseball; they’re clinging to the sense of power they have over the game– they’re powerful enough to screw up and not be held accountable.

    I don’t know, maybe it’s because of some deep-seated desire to play the game, and this is the next best thing. Maybe it’s just arrogance and look-I’m-on-TV narcissism. Maybe it’s just human beings being horrible.

    And as full of crap as I think Donaghy is, there’s no solid evidence that the refs in the NBA don’t hold and act on vendettas and personal bias other than the golden promise of David Stern. The appearance of corruption is everywhere, and that in itself is bad for the sport.

    I think I might be the only hockey fan out there who thinks that aside from a few glaring examples of human error, the officiating in the NHL just isn’t that bad, especially compared to the NBA. It seems like there’s a genuine commitment to making the right call.

    This is one reason why conspiracy theorists crack me up– I feel like they have no idea how good they have it.

  31. Simone says:

    I think a 2-3-2 series is something the AHL does..
    This year’s Hershey-Manchester series for the AHL Eastern conf was 2-3-2 (well, the last game wasn’t needed since it ended in 6).

  32. Duncan Wray says:

    JB, stumbled across your blog and thought I’d drop a line. 10 year reunion, huh? you played here in what, 2003? That would mean you graduated at 14 or so. We’ve been busy since— back to back RBC. Not bad,eh?

  33. jtbourne says:

    Whoa, Duncan! And that, folks, is the owner of my junior team, the Canada-dominating Vernon Vipers. Congrats buddy. I’ve been (loosely) following, and knew you guys were doing great. I guess our BCHL title looks pretty feeble in comparison now huh?


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