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One-Touch Sass

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Barring a backlash from the readers, I’m thinking about abandoning the series by series nightly breakdown.  I kinda like keeping it random.  So here’s random:

*****

Fighting is like duct tape to a hockey player; it damn near fixes anything.  If you aren’t playing well, fight to shake it up.  Coach thinks you don’t care?  Scrap.  Your team’s losing?  I have an idea.  Try fighting.

My whole stance on fighting is broken down in my latest piece for The Hockey News (out tomorrow, I believe?), but I just love Joey T. comin out scrappin’.  If duct tape is the solution finder, Joey was wearing a lot of silver out there to start the game.  Good tilt.

*****

Driving home from the Kelowna Rockets/Vancouver Giants game (the one I left when they were down 4-2, the same one that they won 5-4), I heard the Flames GM Daryl Sutter doing an interveiw pre-recorded from a game he attended earlier in the year.

The man sounds like how I’d parody a Canadian accent.  At the speed of Cleveland from Family Guy, he worked in a couple ill-formed sentences that involved a tractor full of “eh’s” and sounded like wheat fields look.  I can only imagine the coach-imitations that the players bust out after the third pint.

*****

Chris Pronger’s a dork.  It really makes you realize that you can have all the money in the world, a bunch of talent, fame, you name it… but you just can’t shake dork.

I remember running into him a few years back and he had his belly-button high tapered jeans barely reaching his sneakers, with a tight tuck on his golf shirt and a hair part that makes Al Gore look edgy.  Probably a great guy, wonderful player, yada yada yada… you just can’t shake dork.

In his defense, being a dork isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  I’ve got dork friends.  I do dork stuff (um, I blog).  I’m just sayin’…

*****

So this happened today:

Today, I went to call my lovely girlfriend Brianna in NY.  I picked up the house phone, and dialed the 631 number.  Unfortunately, my cell phone rang at the same time.  I decided I’d try to answer it quick before Bri picked up.

It was me calling. 

In my defense, I’m part Ukranian.

*****

So the Blackhawks advanced.  Not to toot my own horn, but — ba-ba-ba-baaaaa!  That brought me to 5-0 in playoff predictions (only to have the Ducks break my goose-egg minutes later – stupid fowl). 

I don’t know what you do now if you’re a Sharks fan, aside from dress in bubble-wrap to cushion the fall off the bandwagon.

So here goes Tuesday, exciting night in the NHL.  The Caps and Rangers go to game seven, and uh… damnit who’re those other teams…oh I forget.  But ya!  Caps-Rangers, neato!

Comments

11 Responses to “One-Touch Sass”
  1. Officer Koharski says:

    The Rags are losing for sure. The team just looks like a mishmash to me, a bunch of random big name players jammed together and they just assume it will all click one day. Torts is a joke, too. He’s a great coach but that ridiculous display seems to have disrupted the team. A coach losing his cool like that can’t inspire confidence.

  2. Nadeau says:

    Isn’t Sutter the GM and not the Coach Of The Flames… And It’s Carolina V NJ GO CANES!!! For Obvious Reasons!!! :)

  3. SDC says:

    bahhahaha, i love that you called yourself…
    i like when you blog about random nonsense… i can finally understand what you’re saying…ps, write more about you and bri–it’s good reading..
    karm

  4. karm says:

    bahhahaha, i love that you called yourself…
    i like when you blog about random nonsense… i can finally understand what you’re saying…ps, write more about you and bri–it’s good reading..

  5. pat says:

    Random is good but random hockey best!!!! No fashion updates I can get those on Avery’s blog.What do you think about Brashears suspension? I ‘d like to see him and Bertucci and scott Hartnell in a MMA cage fight .They have to fight till they are human again ……

  6. Kate says:

    “I don’t know what you do now if you’re a Sharks fan, aside from dress in bubble-wrap to cushion the fall off the bandwagon.”

    Personally, I’m going with a Battlestar Galactica dvd marathon and lots of heavy drinking.

  7. Just Jeff says:

    Can’t wait for the penguins / capitals series and your take on it all Justin.

  8. Justin,

    The real question is, did you have a conversation with yourself?

    Classic – even better that your inner-dork shone through enough for you to blog about it.

    This is by far the dorkiest thing I have read, in a while.

    Epic-Dork

  9. jeff says:

    Never mind calling yourself.

    Ever have to call your wife and forget her number?

    I know its 5 on speed dial on my cell but from the desk at work its……2 2 um 0? maybe?

    Some Uke in me too.

  10. jtbourne says:

    The only reason I have such a sharp tongue is because I had to survive as a hockey player while being a complete dork. You develop a full rolodex of “yeah, but’s”.

  11. jtbourne says:

    Good on ya. I’m wifeless, and know my girlfriends number, but talk to me in ten years. We’ll see where I’m at.

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